thoughts please
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Topic: thoughts please
Posted By: jjands
Subject: thoughts please
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 12:30pm
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hi guys, I'm desperately trying to finish my will Thanks for your thoughts! |
Replies:
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 12:37pm
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IMHO - yep
Would you like it if he turned around and said .. well Ive earnt all the money so I want my other children to have all of it and the youngest to have none? Or would you think it was fair if he said .. ok well I want all my half to go to my other kids? Obviously it would be different if you were not married and had seperate sources of income, but a family is a family and I personally wouldnt think its fair to have "favourites" ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 12:40pm
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intersting question.
does your step kids live with you? i ask becasue if not then i would be leaving my share to my child and letting dh leave his share between all his kids....but if they are living with you then i would either split evenly or do 50% to my child and split the rest between the other kids. its a hard decision to make but things can always be changed and rewritten down the track ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: busyissy
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 12:43pm
| I think that in terms of money that it is a little unfair. However, when it comes to your family's heirlooms and special things like your wedding rings etc, then it is more than ok that they go to your biological child. I think that if a family has gone to the effort to keep something special within the family for the next generation to enjoy then it's actually your responsibility to see that it remains with a biological descendant. |
Posted By: jjands
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 12:45pm
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yeh your right you can always change it! IYeh they live with us. see what your saying lilfatty but I haven't been able to work for a few years because I'm raising his children. And all 3 are biologically his so surely you wouldn't cut one out of your will? Our money is our money. Don't know if it makes a difference but my step kids get a HUGE inheritance at 18 which will set them up. 50% to mine and 25% to the other 2 sounds fair....? |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 12:54pm
Its so sad that in this day in age with blended families there are still "his" children and "our" children. 
I totally agree with personal items though .. I think those can go to whomever you like .. but family money I tend to think should be split evenly. Another scenario could be that when he died he left half to you and half to his two eldest children, that would kind of even out the fact that you are planning on leaving all "your half" to your biological child. It would probably be something I would look at to protect my children if I remarried and had a family with someone else. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 1:23pm
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I agree with that lilfatty. You have to do what you feel is right but if you have in sense "adopted" them as your own children which I'd previously assumed you had by the way you spoke about them then it would make complete sense to treat all 3 equally. However if you don't consider the 3 of them to be equal in your heart, if your biological child is already claiming the position of favourite, then I guess it won't come as any surprise to anyone if you leave everything you have to that child. I am 1 of 6 kids. I've always consider myself to be 1 of 6 even though 2 of my siblings aren't biologically related and joined our family when I was 9yo. My foster brother and sister are still my brother and sister and always will. Accordingly it is written into my parents will that when they both die the property will be split 6 ways. That is just what's right for our family. That may not be right for yours. -------------  
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lilfatty wrote:Posted By: Katep
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 1:26pm
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Sounds like a bit of a hard situation. I thought straight away that it should be equal between all 3 children, however if the first two are getting an inherritance from somewhere else, then in a way that doesn;t seem to be fair to the 3rd child.
I come from a blended family. If my step father was to pass, then only his biological children will get his share. If somethng was to happen to my mum then only her biological children will recieve something. In our family- they are his/her children to be honest, but mainly because when we 'blended' the oldest child was about 18 (I was only 7). I think it would be a lot different if his biological children are young. Good luck with your decision, wills are yucky things I think. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Mum to the Gorgeous Leah! 7 months |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 2:16pm
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.....I really must do my will .......
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Posted By: surfergirl
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 2:22pm
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I am a 'trustee' or whatever it is called on some friends' wills. They too have a 'blended' family and have decided to split their money/assets unequally between their children. Before I agreed to this I spoke with them at length about what they were doing and what they wanted me to do, should it be challenged. Although it is not what I think is fair, it's what THEY want, and it is their money/assets to dispose of as they see fit. I will defend what they want. That is the purpose of a will - to make your intent known and legal. I say do what YOU want. It is your decision. Good luck. |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 2:28pm
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Ok my perspective on it...
yes it's unfair. You are raising those children as your own if I understand correctly (giving up work to raise them etc etc) so therefore they are both of your children not his. I don't think it matters that they will get a separate inheritance. If god forbid you both die before they get that other inheritance then that would be really hard for them to understand the logistics of it, and if you die afterwards, well then you can amend your will once they turn 18 if need be to apportion the shares differently. The problem I see is you are talking about your money and your Dh's money. Technically its all the same, if he dies, you get it and vice versa. So the problem is, say if he dies and you don't for another 20 years, you would have made decisions about how to spend the stepkids inheritance, and by the sounds of it, would be more bias towards your bioligical child (sorry that's just what it sounds like). If that's the case, they have a right to contest the will and would likely get a better share than what you're offering seeing as in the eyes of the law they will see you as a mother figure. A way you can do it though, is set up a family trust and leave shares to each child, and set up conditions regarding those shares. For example, if your DH died, you might have to be what is called a 'life tenant' on his estate which means you can claim living costs etc but can't just spend his money as you please as it would upset the future inheritance of the other beneficiaries. Basically, you're opening up a can of worms by trying to split it unevenly. Another thing to do would be to leave your 3rd child (shared child) a set amount over and above the shared estate. Say for example you give x a sum of $20,000 or whatever you can afford from the proceeds of your estate and then the rest is shared equally. Still means the other children would seem to be 'missing out' on DH's share if he died a while before you though. |
Posted By: Ariana
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 3:22pm
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Hey.
My DH has one child and we have three together. DSD lives with us 1 week about and then with her mum the same. With our wills it states that I (or DH) gets 50% to raise the children or to do as we please, and the remaining 50% is divided equally with the 4 children. In the event we both go they all get an equal share.... but part of that share will be tied up in a trust until they reach 18 (children are now DSD 7; DD5; DD2; DS1) and the remainder they can do as they please. Hope this helps you... and inregards to heirlooms etc, my children have got my rings etc and other family things as DSD has her mums stuff going to her, so only fair really. Good luck. ------------- Ariana Mum to Minardi, Victoria, Alecia and William. |
Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 3:22pm
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Hmmm tricky. I think theres always factors that affect decisions like this.
My dad adopted me when I was 1 when he married my mum and I was fully accepted by his family as a child/grandchild. I have a younger brother and sister who are my dads biological kids and I'd be crushed if his will cut me out as I consider myself his child even though I'm in contact with my biological father (with my mum and dads support). I know it wouldn't of course so luckily its not an issue for me. Me and DP were also talking about it in regards to Jake and any future children we might have. DP sees Jake as his own son and doesn't believe more children will change that (yet to be seen but I don't think its gonna be an issue otherwise I wouldn't be with him). His family however don't see me or Jake as part of their family yet I think they'd have a different view of any children my partner fathers with me. Its quite possible his mum will leave something to her biological granchild/ren but not Jake. I guess as the parent of the 'non-biological' child I don't understand why my son can't simply be accepted and loved and made a part of the family. On the other hand I think I'd probably find it more difficult if it was the other way around. The bond I have with Jake has overshadowed every other child I have a relationship with. Nieces and nephews who I previously adored and have helped bring up are now just loved but Jake grabs my attention and his needs are my first concern fullstop. I don't know how I'd respond if there were stepkids in the picture however much I loved them. You have my sympathies Selena. Whatever you decide maybe just put yourself in your stepkids shoes. How attached are they to you? How affected do you think they'd be? How much does that matter to you in the scheme of things?  -------------   
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 3:50pm
Depends on situation... I have a 17 yo stepson and he lives with us, and he absolutely hates my guts and has tried his hardest over the past 6 months to bust our marrige up, and has admited it several times. Even last night he was saying he can't wait till he wins and I leave. To be fair, I don't really like him much either, so yeah, there are his and ours, because quite frankly step parenting is NOT like the brady bunch where everyone gets on and automatically loves each other and it is unfair for anyone to assume that thats how it should be. just MHO, tho, everyone is entitiled to theirs of course! We both have significant life insurance policies, and N's mother does as well. He will get half of hers (he has another brother) and quarter of mine and quarter of R's, and the remaining goes to my children, however, there are lots of family stuff he will get that my children won't as well as a sigificant amount of money from his mothers family. My children have no grandparents bar my mother and the only thing she will be leaving anyone is debt, so... The house and any other assets that can be sold will be divided three ways. That said, I have no intention of setting my kids up by dying. It is up to them to make their own way and build their own nest eggs, rather than waiting for us to pop our cogs. We will be spending their inheritances for sure!!! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: jjands
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 4:11pm
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Thanks for all the advice, I have talked to our lawyer and decided to leave that aspect of the will till later on when it becomes clear whether the adoption of my step kids goes through and as they have other guardians apart from DH and I they may choose within the next 2 years to live with them...so we will play it by ear for now it's divided equally. I do feel that some of you are a bit hard on us step parents, I think we do a hard job and we have big hearts to do it, I know alot of people that have said straight out they would never raise someone elses children. I do love my step children and have always treated them as my very own, I also want the best for our new baby as it will never have the privilged life the other 2 have had. So it's not generally a case of 'his and ours' lilfatty its just an easier way of explaining a complicated situation. I don't think his children need protecting either, they are very well looked after and will be no matter what. As your DH stays home and raises your children maybe turning around and saying to him..it's my money and I earnt it all is something that you would do? Unfortuantely more often then not you only have negative feedback...but in saying that I left myself wide open asking for peoples thoughts. Fattartsrock I hope your situation improves that must be very hard. Thanks you for the constructive and helpful replies.
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Posted By: sally belly
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 4:21pm
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This has been an interesting discussion & jjands I am glad you have partly resolved your problem, for now at least. It can't be easy for you at all.
While I don't have stepkids, I can only imagine how difficult it must be (particularly in some cases) to take on kids other than your own. I can honestly say I don't know how I'd go raising any children that DH might've had before he met me. My DH has 3 half-brothers that are his Dad's sons with a new partner. When we first drew up our wills after we were married (& before our own kids came along), I chose to give 50% to my sister & 50% to DH's (full) sister should we both die. It was completely up to DH as to what he decided to do, but in the end he decided to do the same. Therefore leaving out his half-brothers completely. I don't know how I'd feel if the situations were reversed. Whoever said life was easy -------------    
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 5:19pm
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Nicely put Selena!! I agree - people who can take on other peoples children and all the crap that often comes with them (other guardians/family members/partners exes/emotional baggage/etc) and create a good family environment should be commended! It can be a difficult and upsetting situation not to mention very confusing for everyone involved (not just the kids). Sally belly is right - whoever the hell said life was easy?! You do the best you can with what you have!
Fattartsrock sounds like your is a hard situation but hey technically you've won  you're married to the guy, you've had his children and I imagine if it came down to it you're the one he'd want to stay with! Good luck -------------
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 5:53pm
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IIIIII think , that you fall in love with someone , you can't be expected to straight away fall in love with any children that come with them , my daughter has a stepfather and while he loves her like his ownnow , that did'nt happen over night , and I would never have expected it too , it took a lot of time and effort on both their parts to reach the relationship they have now (hell, sometimes the two of them gang up on me now )
ATM , a few things are affecting your relationship with your step kids selena, I know that , so they WILL feel more like his kids than yours . Who knows, perhaps in a few years things will be completly different and you will have a completly different relationship with them . Personally I think im too selfish to ever be a step parent , and I admire anyone that is able to do it . -------------
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 6:33pm
No it isnt something I would do .. just like I wouldnt split our money unequally between children I am bringing up. I suggest should you not actually want people's opinions you shouldnt ask for them .. or maybe put a disclaimer that you would only like people who agree with your POV to answer you
In fartrocks case .. that is slightly different as that child is a teenager (and even biological teenagers are a PITA, so I cant imagine trying to deal with a pissed off step child), yours however are still young, and see you as Mum. I tend to see everything from the others POV .. how heartbreaking it would be for the kids to one day know that you didnt "love" them as much as your own child .. and how in turn that is going to affect all your childrens relationships (or his kids and yours kids if you prefer to clarify) in the future if heaven forbid something happens to you both. Emz probably said what I wanted to say in a much "nicer" way than my apparent negative feedback. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 7:21pm
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I am a step-kid. my dad has told me that if both him and my step-mother died, i would get half, and the other two girls would get the other half. i disputed this and still do. there are three of us, and it should be divided equally.
he argues that he inherited a rather large amount of money fromMY grandfather, sotherefore I should benefit more, and he earns a lot more too. I believe though my step-mother is the only reason my dad can actually function and the way he has divided the "money" is wrong. also, just to add my two cents, i think this is a sensitive situation, and perhaps you read lilfatty's feedback as more negative than intended. cause ire ad it back and while blunt, isn't too bad at all. |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 7:49pm
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I have to agree with lilfatty. All children in a family should all be treated the same regardless of who is the biological parents. I too raised step kids on all weekends and holidays for 9years when with my ex DP. To the mix I came with a 4yr old, he came with 3yr old and 2yr old and a year later we had a baby together. All kids were treated the same and I would have been hurt and upset if he or his family had treated my daughter different as he would have been if me and my family had treated his any different. If something happened to me and ex DH had the kids, I would hope his wife/partner would welcome my kids in and treat them as she would her own and Im sure all of us as mums would want that for our kids if anything happened to us too.
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Posted By: jjands
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 7:54pm
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Perhaps I should have stated that only people with a clue need respond, your not a blended family lilfatty and infact as many of us know you think your as perfect as perfect gets lol. You clearly don't understand the situation and not being open to other peoples situations (despite your claims) isn't helping your perspective. And money doesn't show love..people show love.
ETA-this isn't about how you raise all your kids maybe read the posts again?? |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:06pm
i usually back away from this crap, but whatever... so you ask for opinions and then blast people for not agreeing. FFS, do what you want. we gave our opinions based on our own experiences. next time perhaps you should say "only those who agree with me can reply" |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:09pm
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Can I just say , that even tho in theory it would be nice to be "fair" and love all children the same , whether biologically or not , that is not the case for every family , every family is different , and every family has their own back ground that influences the feelings in situations like this
Yes, in an ideal world every child would be loved equally , but show me an ideal world . -------------
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Posted By: jjands
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:23pm
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People that don't agree with what I asked were fine to respond that was the whole point..to get opinions. To have ONE person who always has a negative view on stuff and has a high and mighty attitude is boring it's more of a change the record LF. Others with suggestions were taken on board eg Kazzle I think it was who suggested 50/25/25 and even other peoples POV were helpful at looking at it differently coz I was really put on the spot trying to decide in 2 hours what I wanted to do. So to recap I was open to suggestions and thoughts just not into be constantly bagged by LF everytime I post something |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:25pm
wow this certainly turned uneasy fast!!!! not cool...
anywho! i think those with stepkids should be praised!!! i have been a stepkids so think it would be a HARD job (yes i was a hard little madam! )
I would personally share my will equally between biological and stepkids....depending on age and situation really just as fattart (gosh i cant quite remember her username!) said (her situation). |
Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:25pm
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Yikes, jjands, you're being really harsh! I'd just like to state for the record that I don't think lilfatty thinks she's "as perfect as perfect gets" in fact I've seen her be realistic about her foibles more often than many others on here. In terms of raising kids she and SD are doing a great job with Issy and I think that qualifies her as having a clue.
Having said that, while I would personally go down the route of dividing it equally, I do understand that doling out the money isn't necessarily the same as doling out your love. It is complicated in your case by the fact that it sounds like the stepkids will be well provided for anyway, so if something did happen to you and your DH it would then be your biological child who would be worse off if you decided to divide your estate equally. In the end like so much of parenting, you should do what works for you. But in future, if you intend to insult and offend the people whose opinion differs from your own, why ask? ------------- 
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:27pm
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Umm actually I think you're the one bagging her. There are quite a large portion of people who agree with her and yet you are singling her out.
Saying she doesn't have a clue is harsh and unfair and I think if you want to ask for opinions in a public forum you should be grateful that people have taken the time to respond to your problems. -------------  
 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:29pm
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[QUOTE=BaileyandAstin]
anywho! i think those with stepkids should be praised!!! i have been a stepkids so think it would be a HARD job (yes i was a hard little madam! )
/QUOTE] Im sorry ...."WAS" a hard little madam ? -------------
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:33pm
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...sorry , just trying to lighten the mood .....
I could put on some music and light some candles if you want .... -------------
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Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:34pm
LOL Kelly  -------------
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:37pm
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yeah , you'd like that wouldn't you Weegee baby -------------
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Posted By: jjands
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:37pm
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I'd be more grateful if she didn't yeh I'm singling her out she bags so much of what people say everywhere she goes not just this post. If she wasn't like that there'd be no problem and that is the whole reason I am being harsh. Today I had enough of it..... |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:39pm
I think it's time for a chill pill. LF wasn't ripping into you anymore than Emz or myself were. You asked for honest opinions and people gave them to you. You may like some of the answers and some you may not but there was absolutely no need to single out one forum member for disagreeing with you just because you have an issue with her. You will obviously do what you want anyway (as we all should) but if you're not open to people whose povs differ don't bother asking for them and if you do ask for them remember some people will be blunt with their opinions (although TBH I though LFs response was fine).
Really? I'd ask you to give me examples but I doubt you could find any. -------------
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Posted By: jjands
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:50pm
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At the moment (not a major by any means) she's raving on about how if you don't buy PP clothing for your wee ones they really are dressed in cr*p basically put. light the candles Kelly put some music on I'm done with it all Thanks for the Private Messages of support girls that have PM'd |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:52pm
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Ouch! I was going to reply earlier but didn't get a chance and I come back and it's gotten nasty!
In our house, they're all HIS children - especially when they're naughty . They're OUR children when they're all asleep, and MY children when I think he's not pulling his weight around the house 
Re: stepkids, I'm in a similar situation to Fattarts - teenage DSD who despite the fact that I have parented her since she was 6, is determined to make her our lives miserable in much the way teenagers do (I agree with whoever said teenagers are horrible whether they're biologically yours or not, I was a dreadful teenager and I am scared of the day when I will have 4 teenage girls in my house  ) so it's difficult sometimes.
I don't know the answer to the money thing. I do think age makes a big difference tho, and I agree with Fattarts about not setting my kids up ("our" girls and "his" collectively) - they all need to learn the value of good work ethic. It's set up so that if (God forbid) we pass while they are still dependent, then it will provide for their care etc. The rest will all be held in trust. DSD isn't included in our family trust as it's MY family (as in my parents) so not even Willie is included in it. But she's old enough now to take a certain degree of responsibility for her own financial situation. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:54pm
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Kelly, make them scented candles .. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:56pm
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Maybe everyone needs to relax? Alot of us come to this forum and share stuff thats sensitive because we don't have anyone else to talk too. The fact that its important to us or already upsetting us means we can react faster or take things as being harsher than they're meant. Theres no tone of voice or body language to gauge the other persons response.
I know that I'm way more sensitive to stuff both online and in RL if its a subject that I'm feeling vulnerable and worried or upset over. Maybe give each other abit more leeway?? I'm sure we've all said stuff to a friend that didn't come out right or that we regretted later and it sorted itself out. Everyone getting on the bagging wagon just riles the situation up (specially on a forum!) and makes it a helluva lot harder to get over! -------------
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:58pm
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Dammit! Lol I've got to start typing faster!!!! -------------
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:58pm
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lol 357 views - we OB'ers do love a good scrap don't we?
But you know we you all. -------------
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Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 8:59pm
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Ouch!!
Man I don't like to read it when one person is getting singled out (and named) as being supposedly nasty and negative, that's not cool at all
I think we just need to finish this thread here and stop the (inaccurate) defamation of character, and get back to what the topic was actually about
ETA: Man I type too slow with a small boy sitting on my lap trying to 'help'! ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:00pm
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I am a child and stepchild with two views. I am in no way willing to pop them down here, I will PM you! -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:11pm
Beautifully said, as always. Can you start singing now, please? You haven't done it in such a long time! ------------- 
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:12pm
I think you may be getting confused. She did say that she'd found T&T clothes to be crap but mentioned several other brands that she likes. Also unless I'm reading the thread completely wrong those of us that provided our opinion on clothes (there were a few, not just LF) weren't taking a dig at anyone, we were simply providing our opinion based on past experience. -------------
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Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:13pm
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I too am a child and a step child. Recently in Feb this year my step-Mum passed away from breast cancer. She has known me my whole life, but I never once expected her to leave anything to me, afterall I have a Mother and a Father, and although they are divorced, they may leave me an inheritance should they choose to.
Step Mum has two sons and all of her family trust has been left to them. I have no problem with this at all and didn't expect anything at all from her. That is what she wanted and I totally respect her decision. Just my opinion on this subject since I am involved in a step child/step Mother situation at the moment ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:14pm
Nothing like a good ol' catfight every now and again. I must say it has been a while.. 
*lurks back into the cheap seats* |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:16pm
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You're absolutely right! Time for me to leave this thread as I said on pg 1 all I had to say on the OT. -------------
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:18pm
 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:21pm
yeah , thats what I was thinking , shutup Liz and start singing ....you sing, i'll light the candles (scented even ) and dance my sexy belly around the place , dont all pretend you wont like that ......( i mean shutup in the nicest way Liz ) -------------
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:24pm
*ahem* correct that to "AM" my mum would agree with you there Kelly! lol
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Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:25pm
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[QUOTE=lilfatty] Its so sad that in this day in age with blended families there are still "his" children and "our" children.
I promise I'm fully not going to get at you personally! Just my Dad is mine. They have their own. In saying that, they don't share any offspring genetically. But if we were all 'their' kids, where would our respective other parents fit in? It used to hurt when people would lump us kids in together. We all felt protective over our biological parents. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:25pm
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"i see you kelly shaking that ass, shaking that belly"
that kind of singing? or would you prefer something else to dance to? -------------   
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Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:26pm
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Lol don't worry Kelly I know how you meant shutup
Hmmm.... now I need to find an appropriate song.... Ah ha, got one... Some times in our lives we all have pain We all have sor-rooow But if we are wise We know that there's always tomorrow Lean on me, when you're not strong And I'll be your friend I'll help you carry oooooooooonnnn For it won't be long 'Til I'm gonna need Somebody to leeeeaaaaan on ..... ......------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:26pm
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Hmmmm, how about Diirrrty , i can shake my ass well at that one -------------
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:28pm
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we can always count on you for a good song Kelly!
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:28pm
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oops posted at same time , that sounds good Liz (in my head anyway)
next I think you should dedicate "your just too good to be true " to me ... -------------
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Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:31pm
I think it's brilliant that everyone can share their different points of view, cos IMHO that's what ohbaby is all about. Of course we're all gonna have different viewpoints and opinions, cos we've all had different life experiences that have formed us as who we are today. Flake it's really good to read that perspective, especially for others who, like me, have never been part of a blended family. It makes me sad that you don't feel comfortable enough to share all of what you think, cos as I said I think ohbaby is about people sharing their different experiences and opinions in a respectful manner (and good on you for doing so). ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:32pm
lovely singing!!! bravo liz!!
can you tell im avoiding going to bed! lol |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:35pm
I think Scott is going home on AI... if thats any help He was terrible------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:37pm
But .. I obviously think you should only be allowed an opinion if you dress your child in PP head to toe (Even though Issy has on an AIO from shock horror .. The Warehouse) [:0)]
And Liz .. you know my favourite song is Raindrops on roses ..  ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:38pm
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Mel .. as long as it isnt Matt going home .. I shall remain a happy lady ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:38pm
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But I see your true colors
Shining through I see your true colors And that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let them show Your true colors True colors are beautiful, Like a rainbow Damn american idol for getting that stuck in my head id much rather have Im on a boat in my head -------------
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Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:39pm
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TBH I'm surprised we don't get more threads like this with a forum full of pregnant, hormonal, sleep deprived mothers/mothers to be.
pepsi, I've got the popcorn!
Encore! Encore! Liz! |
Posted By: Freesia
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:41pm
Ugh, I hate it when things turn personal unnecessarily 
LOL, yeah Liz ... I was looking forward to The Sound of Music songs again -------------  
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:41pm
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Sorry what was this thread about again i forgot with all the singing and candles -------------
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Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:41pm
Aw man, that counts me out!! Harry is definitely not a PP boy so I'd better be keeping my opinion to myself
And just in case you need cheering up... Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens....... Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens............ Brown paper packages tied up with strings............. These are a few of my favorite things! (doo doo dooo doo doo doooo doo doo doooo doo doo doooo) Cream-colored ponies and crisp apple strudels....... Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles!..... Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings..... These are a few of my favorite things...... ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:45pm
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I love PP but seriously where are all the boys clothes down here 80% of pumpkin patch is girls clothes SUCK
Farmers 50% kids clothes beats anything!!! -------------
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Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:46pm
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All my clothes are imported especially from Ireland, oh la laa. Take that PP fans
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:50pm
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Oh .. but you forget that my child has an English Daddy .. so she has ladeda clothes too
Although I swear they have cuter clothes in Ireland .. (or my inlaws like really large flower prints)
TA - Yep PP is definately girley heaven .. luckily I have one of those ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:51pm
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lol Caden is dressed mostly in Trade Me stuff DH and I are poor lol, but Caden is always dressed well ------------- |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:55pm
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Issy and Elias get loads of stuff off TM .. its perfect for when they are tiny .. clothes can have about 10 owners before they show any sign of wear lol
------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:55pm
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LMAO LF, maybe you should sneakily get hold of the Next and Baby Gap catalogues and circle appropriately
I must agree tho, our Irish cousins have the cutest stuff for their lil girl. I'm not even going to wade into the clothes debate tho coz all I will do is give you guys even more places to spend money. My children have so many clothes it makes me physically ill - and yet I keep buying more... the hazards of having a job where you get paid to research the coolest kids stuff ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:57pm
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Ahhh now baby gap! SD bought home a load of teeny tiny little boys things from baby gap and they are just the MOST incredibly cute things!
Not sure if its cute enough for me to move my family across a sea to live .. but close
And where do you think I get all these ideas for cool baby stuff .. from lurking in July  ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:59pm
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LMAO!
I'm off to Seed while I'm over here (www.seedchild.com.au), you can't get it in NZ and their 'essentials' stuff is gorgeous. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:59pm
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Yeah I LOVE Trade Me Its fantastic, just got Caden's winter wardrobe on there, got some great PP stuff for very cheap, I was stoked.
The stuff I get off trade me is usually PP, it can be sold on again so easily. But we buy all sorts of other brands off there as well. ------------- |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:01pm
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I don't really buy much on TM, I don't know why. I remember being really jealous of my friend when I was preg with the gremlins and she was preg with a singleton coz she got all his clothes on TM but I couldn't coz I needed 2 of everything.
Mind you, perks of the job mean I get a good discount on stuff... ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:03pm
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Oh and I'm finding the older the kids get, the less suitable stuff is for handing down - baby stuff can be used again and again like you said LF but the older they get, the longer they are able to fit stuff and the harder they are on it. The gremlins totally trash most of their clothes, and pretty much the only things of Maya's that I keep for them these days are jeans and the odd hoodie. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:08pm
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Yep, once they get mobile (and then daycare), clothes would get trashed pretty quickly.
Issys stuff I sell mostly on TM (since Elias wont really need or want them) and can usually get about 75% of my money back...but as she gets older I wont be able to recoup that amount as she will thrash them. Right off to seed .. to drool over all the things Emma is going to bring home! ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:09pm
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Aww I Next and Baby Gap stuff.
Most of the girls stuff is from the Irish equivalent of The Warehouse. Obviously their grandmothers don't love them enough
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:12pm
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I can take orders LF
Is that Dunnes Stores Tishy? That's where most of Saidhbh and Roan's stuff comes from. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:20pm
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Just to throw a spanner in the works, did you know that Marks & Spencers now deliver to New Zealand !? How cool is that! I love their stuff! Our kids get it sent over to them at Christmas.
Sheza did you get that Cardi ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3)
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:29pm
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Yeah but they still charge in stirling
Although .. I could raid SD's english bank account ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:31pm
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Man you mean there is more than just PP TnT Farmers Kmart and JK to buy clothes from???
*crawls out from under clothing rock into the light* -------------
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:33pm
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I love CottonOn stuff, shame there isnt one anywhere near where we live. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:33pm
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Cotton On have some cute stuff. Their sizing is a bit random sometimes tho. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:34pm
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oh yessssss cotton on but they never have josh's size when i go!!!!!!!!!! -------------
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Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:37pm
Really!?!?! The girls got some gorgy tops from there for Xmas pressies. mmmmm Emma, lots from Dunnes Stores and also from Pennys / Primark (for the English contingent). I think Pennys is probably more like TWH while Dunnes is halfway between TWH and Farmers. |
Posted By: Freesia
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:38pm
LOL, that's about where I'm at too -------------
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:39pm
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i think the warehouse is expensive maybe its just the items i pick out but the sales are so much better at farmers -------------
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:40pm
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Nah i didnt Mel, I wanted to lay-by but they dont do them, I was so pissed!!!! lol
So I went to farmers and got something similar Was lovely seeing you and Cooper yesterday! ------------- |
Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:40pm
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LMAO you're all crazy how did this thread go from wills and blended families to a catfight to baby clothes shopping???? Speaking of which hmmm Seed huh? Marks and Spencers aye? Hmmm.... Jakes not gonna be using his pocket money for awhile but he will need cute clothes ... -------------
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Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:40pm
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Oh yes and Cotton On. I had to drag myself out of there recently before I spent money.
Must resist.....
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:41pm
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Yeah, Keira actually fits a size 3 there
I like TM for finding next and baby gap stuff (so cute!) My girls mostly live in PP but thats usually because I can get it cheapest from the outlet stores TM and using the codes. The only children's/baby clothing shop we have within 30 minutes is Farmers and there is never anything there. -------------
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:49pm
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I find cotton on REALLY expensive!
Tishy .. Issy got a Primark Hoodie from her Grandma .. she must be unloved too ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Lexidore
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 11:03pm
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I really shouldnt read the first post and then skip to the last page LOL I am soooo confused!!!!!
BTW on the way back to find out what was going on i noticed a lot of future New Zealand Idol Contestants, you guys have beautiful voices and there was some amazing dancing going on there! ------------- 
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Posted By: SuperDaddy
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 11:06pm
Evening ladies... I think its safe to emerge now lol! I think the English stuff that weve got for Elias so far is the nicest, so damn the exchange rate! grr. Cant wait till he fits Billabong and quicksilver then he will look really cool. Clothes suck up til then for boys I reckon. There will be a long phase of super/cartoon heros untill then I suspect. And Isabelle will probably go down the 'I am a princess' sense of fashion until she fits Roxy.
Man cant wait until I get them surfing -------------  
 
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Posted By: SuperDaddy
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 11:08pm
Lol LF told me to start on P1 too... and I am glad I did or I would be like WTF? -------------
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 11:21pm
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I would just like to SINGLE out myself and proclaim my greatness , single handedly , I have enticed you all with images of myself dancing around with my pregnant belly (You sick sick people ) and lighting candles , which became a sing song , which then became a discussion about baby clothes, thus diverting what could have ended up as pages of fighting and cattiness.
*blows smoke from imaginary gun * my work here is done , just call me "The Kelly belly dancing candle lighting peace maker " I feel another song coming on ...."Im simply the best ! better than all the rest " and I have a suggestion re the clothes, I like clothes, and you are all more than welcome, to buy me clothes . pumpkin patch may , MAY , no longer fit me tho ..... -------------
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Posted By: kriss
Date Posted: 17 April 2009 at 11:42pm
SuperDaddy, we have some Roxy gear for Ashlyn, I think they start at size 00.. We got it in Perth, but i'll keep an eye out next time i'm at the outlet shops - I know they have kids stuff but not sure what size.  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
Little Angel, April 10
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Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 18 April 2009 at 2:10am
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Oh I love Next for baby things, used to live in Leeds and there was a Next outlet store and a mothercare that closed down while I was there! This was in 2003-4 though and at the time had no intention of having a baby though i did send home a fair few items for my sisters baby which were all girly and she had a boy...so I still have all those cute things. Oh there was also this random as shop called TKMax and it had all sorts of clothes including some adorable baby things!!!
Now I live in Kalgoorlie and can only resort to ebay and trademe..... ------------- 
Oct 11
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