I know I shouldn’t but....
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Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26133
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Topic: I know I shouldn’t but....
Posted By: noisybaby
Subject: I know I shouldn’t but....
Date Posted: 25 April 2009 at 12:36pm
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I know your not supposed compare your babies development to others but I can't help it. My wee girl, who is 9 months old today, isn't crawling yet or walking but three friends she has are doing one or the other. It makes me feel embarrassed or something that she isn't doing things other babies are.
I know all babies develop at different rates but what can I do. I've always been a competitive person who wants to do things first but am I putting tooo much pressure on myself to expect her to do them. Anyone else have this annoying habit to?? |
Replies:
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 25 April 2009 at 1:16pm
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I had this with my first boy - he just sat there on one spot till he was 10 months old then just got up and started walking!!!! freaked DH and i out big time!! we thought he was going to be a super late walker bcos he hadnt even crawled yet!!!
I would always get the "oh hes still not moving yet" comments from people at coffee groups and plunket and i was really embarrassed that they thought i had a "slow" child!!  it made no difference to him though obviously! no 1 - he didnt care what they said! and no 2 - doing it the way he did hasnt slown him down now that hes older!!
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 25 April 2009 at 1:27pm
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My friend's lil boy did that too - he's just turned one. Didn't crawl at all, just walked one day at around 10 months!
noisybaby, if it makes you feel any better my other friend (same circle of friends and a week older than the other little boy I was talking about) crawled before 6 months and has just started walking this week at 12 months... but crawling early was a PAIN coz he was into EVERYTHING. I think it's pretty natural to compare your baby with other people's  ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 25 April 2009 at 1:27pm
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Don't panic, he'll get there! Both my gremlins were "lump" babies - they didn't even sit till 8 mths and were nearly 10 before they even remotely showed an interest in crawling, but the funny thing is, the rest of the babies in our Due in Oct thread at the time were all about the same, some of them took even longer than the gremlins to crawl and of course they're all perfectly active 2-year olds now.
I definitely think it's harder socially if your baby is a bit slower than others around you, coz you can't help comparing them and thinking "why isn't my baby doing that yet?" But from a practical perspective, having a baby that doesn't crawl is brilliant so make the most of it - lil miss started at 6 mths and she is a demon baby, I wish she would slow down a bit! If you check out the July '08 thread you'll see that there is quite a good range of stages there and our bubs are all 9ish months now, some are nearly walking and others aren't crawling yet. It's interesting too that the babies that aren't as mobile seem to be more vocal or show better fine motor skill development, they really do develop at such different rates. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: mummytobesep08
Date Posted: 25 April 2009 at 1:36pm
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*puts hand up* im like this too!
my baby was at first really "advanced". She could lift her head and move it around at 2 days old, was socially smiling at 1 week old and giggling by 3 weeks. She's also always been really strong. She could stand up and bear weight and do those cute baby push ups on her arms before the other babies we knew. She's got two teeth as well so she's not late in that department. She seems to stop at that though lol! She is not crawling and doesn't seem to be showing any signs that she is going to. People always ask me "is she crawling around yet?" and while i say "no, but I'm so glad she's not!" I feel a lil worried inside. I know she'll do it eventually (hopefully!) and most of the time I truly am glad that I don't have to chase after her yet but i can't help but wonder... I promised myself I wouldn't be like this LOL but maybe it's one of those 'mum traits' that some of us just can't help! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
Angel babes '07 & '10- <3 <3 |
Posted By: Lulu
Date Posted: 25 April 2009 at 1:36pm
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Don't do it to yourself! My Daughter is 20 months old and still not walking. If I tortured myself and compared her to others I would go mental. They are all different and develop in different ways and in different timeframes. If you are concerned (although I wouldn't be at 9 months) then a check up may put your mind at ease. I had my Daughter checked by a paedatrician and her hips x-rayed to be sure, but she is fine. She only started bum shuffling at 18 months and before that she didn't move at all. She hates being on her tummy and preferred just to sit. She was an early sitter.
She is now starting to experiment with pulling herself onto her feet so maybe she will walk before her 2nd birthday, lol! ------------- Lou http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 25 April 2009 at 2:43pm
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This sounds like a post i wrote when Kylah was 8 months old. I used to feel the same.
Kylah crawled at 11 months and walked at 17 months. Now she is a great walker and talks heaps! Extended craling is great for devolpment too. Im sure she will suprise you one of these days like Kylah did us. She didnt show any signs just got up and crawled one day like she had been doing it all along. ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 25 April 2009 at 3:52pm
It is very hard not to compare of course... but the range for child development is huge. 9-10 months is the average starting age for crawling, up to 14 months is still considered within the typically developing range. Gross motor skills do not reflect cognitive ability so the fact that some children are learning to crawl or walk faster does not mean they are more intelligent 
I guess ya often here more from people whose kids were early developing skills cos naturally they're proud and wanna tell people... but there is just as many kiddies who don't gain these skills until later... and really in a few years they'll generally all be doing the same things ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 25 April 2009 at 5:17pm
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I guess I am much the same, for a while there every other baby Maddi's age seemed to be walking except her. Now I know Maddi isn't slow, they were all just really early walkers but it is so hard not to compare. It was hard watching all the other kids todle around playing together and Maddi just seemed so much younger. Now I think about it there were still alot of other babies Maddis age that wernt walking already but I seemed to totally overlook all of them. She had always been one of the first to roll/crawl/sit so to see everyone else take off ahead of her didnt feel right. Also being number 2 it is soo hard not to compare her to what her big sister did. Babies seem to focus on one thing at a time so maybe she is busy working on a different skill. I think we all understand how you feel and as much as you want to admit you aren't comparing, somewhere deep down there is always that lingering thought. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Febgirl
Date Posted: 25 April 2009 at 7:32pm
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I know what you mean. DD was the last in my coffee group of 12 to crawl, she just started literally overnight 2 weeks before her first birthday, but was walking 8 weeks later so caught up fast.
It's hard though, even though everyone says enjoy it while they are not mobile, you just want them to hurry up and start moving!
Just remember in 12 months time you won't be able to tell any difference or remember the babies who started to crawl at 8 months v those who started to crawl at 12 months (and it will be on to comparing whose baby talk the most, lol!) ------------- Two little girls under 2! 
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Posted By: pomikiwi
Date Posted: 25 April 2009 at 9:15pm
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Honestly, we spend the first few years of our childs life wanting them to walk and talk and the rest telling them to sit down and shut up, lol!
My DD didn't crawl until 10.5 months and walk until 14.5 months. Whereas I walked at 9 months. I know which I'd prefer. 
Enjoy it while she's still, hehe! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
DD-Carys Amelia 17.03.06 |
Posted By: becky
Date Posted: 26 April 2009 at 10:51am
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Hey my mum makes comments about my son not sitting or crawling yet and it annoys the hell out of me.
Im all for Kade doing things in his own time so I dont prop him to sit up at all as it is so bad for his spine he will learn to do it himself, and he will learn to do it the natural way. Im also happy for him to crawl whenever he is ready, I agree with Freckle the range of development is huge and is just a gudeline Kade did his first roll at just under 4months then he stopped and only mastered it at around 6months. Whenever my mum makes comments I tell her Kade will do it naturally when hes ready!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: noisybaby
Date Posted: 26 April 2009 at 12:04pm
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thanks guys. I'm starting to relax abit about the whole development thing. I should just be greatful shes not tearing around the house and enjoy the time she is still not too mobile.
I know she will do things in her own time and now that some of you have pointed out she is much more developed in other areas. |
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 26 April 2009 at 12:15pm
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my mum makes comments about my 2 also, S never crawled at all she started walikng at 8mths and could talk really clearly in sentances by 20mths
J crawled at 7mths & walked at 10mths but he doesnt talk much which doesnt bother me. but i always get comments about "how he should be saying more words etc" especially from my mum my neighbours son started walking a week before his 2nd birthday, and i know how awfull it was for her constantly being asked by people "is he walking yet" and having people compare him to others. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: Febgirl
Date Posted: 26 April 2009 at 12:28pm
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Oh and have your heard the theory that babies are either walkers or talkers e.g. those that are mobile sooner take longer with talking, and those that are chatterboxes take longer to move?
------------- Two little girls under 2!
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 26 April 2009 at 4:07pm
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Rowan didn't crawl until she was a year old and she's still not quite walking yet (I'd guess another month away). She's always been slow with physical development but she is an amazing talker and is incredibly good at communicating.
I know it's hard when every one else's babies are moving already but babies really do focus on different things and there are positives to them moving later. Rowan is very good and getting off things and depth perception etc. from crawling for so long so she probably won't get as many bumps as babies who walk much sooner. ETA: lol at the 'lump babies' Emma. it. -------------  
 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 April 2009 at 4:29pm
Aren't mothers just the best for reminding us what our kids *should* be doing by now? Mine is now on at me about getting the gremlins out of nappies. Meh  ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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