Childrens behaviour in parks
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=26227
Printed Date: 06 May 2025 at 11:29pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Childrens behaviour in parks
Posted By: MummyFreckle
Subject: Childrens behaviour in parks
Date Posted: 29 April 2009 at 7:39pm
|
There are a couple of parks that Oli and I go to on a regular basis, and I have noticed that a lot of the children at one particular park seem to be really rough around the little kids. Today Oli got kicked (yes KICKED) over by a girl of around 7 I would say. The whole time this girl was at the park, her mum was sitting on a bench talking on her cellphone. She never once looked to see what her child was doing. I was really peeved as this girl clearly saw that Oli was in her way, and kicked him to get out of her way. GRRRR. So I guess my question is - do you say something to the child. Do you say something to the parent? I tend to growl at the child in question at the time (not too harshly and it depends on how old they are)....is this wrong? If Oli is rough with another child, I always tell him to use his gentle hands, and if he is really rough then I take him over to the child and make him apologise (ok I apologise, but make Oli listen, and make him stroke their arm or something like that). How do you handle it?
------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Replies:
Posted By: Mum2ET
Date Posted: 29 April 2009 at 7:43pm
|
I do the same with Ella if she is rough with another kid- show her gentle hands and get her to the do the same and then sometimes she cuddles the other kids (I think they must use this a bit at daycare) and tell her to say sorry (I say sorry at the same time). Luckily we haven't had the situation where Ella has been hurt by another kid at the playground, but since I am quite a shy person if the parent wasn't paying attention I would tend to tell something to the kid rather than the parent and remove Ella from the situation and make sure she knows that what the other kid did was not OK. ------------- Mum to Ella (5) and Tom (2) |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 29 April 2009 at 7:45pm
|
IMO seven year olds should know that they are to be gentle with little kids, especially ones Oli's age , Caitlyn would never dream or dare of doing that
I would tell the child off if her mother is too busy ignoring it to do so herself, and I would also have a word to the mum -ive dealt with this myself at C's school playground , I told a boy off that was bullying all the kids and he told his mother i had and she had the nerve to tell me off, I cant remember what I said, but it was good , heh . Parents tend to look annoyed at me when Caitlyn goes down the slide and their kids are coming up it , which amuses me , im sorry I taught my daughter the right way to use a slide ! ------------- 
|
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 29 April 2009 at 7:45pm
|
If the child is 7, then I say something to the child - they're old enough to know better! If it was like a toddler then I would expect the parent to step in, and if they didn't, I'd have it out with the parent rather than the child coz the child will only learn if the parent teaches them.
I was so proud of my Sienna at Butterfly Creek the other week, she is pretty non verbal usually but she came up to me and said "people is teasing me". So I said "tell them to go away and leave you alone". So she went back to where she was playing, and I watched and this kid who would have been 5 or 6 tried to make her get off the part she was playing on. So she turned around and looked him square in the face and said, " NO! Go away!" and growled like a bear. I was soooo proud of her standing up for herself! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 29 April 2009 at 7:47pm
|
LOL Kelly, my kids are usually the ones climbing UP the slide, despite me telling them not to. They also have the rather obnoxious habit of stopping half way down those tunnel slides so all the kids get stuck behind them. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 29 April 2009 at 7:48pm
|
ah , your'e probably one of the ones that gives me an evil look haha ! -------------
|
Posted By: KH25
Date Posted: 29 April 2009 at 7:51pm
|
Aww cute, go Sienna!!
I'm not really a confrontational person (normally just seethe to myself lol) so i would just say to the child could they please be more careful around the little kids. If they were still being rough then I might grow some balls and say something to the parents (or give them the evils!). Grrr its a pet peeve of mine when children climb up the slide and the parents just sit there and say nothing  I normally praise Ashleigh loudly for going DOWN the slide and not climbing up it when others are doing it and hope the parents hear me  ------------- Kelly, mum to DD, 19Jun06 (26wks 1lb15oz) DS1, 24Oct10 (32wks 4lb11oz) and DS2, 31Dec11 (32wks, 4lb11) http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 29 April 2009 at 7:55pm
|
Yep Issy tries to climb up too (especially if the slide has a ladder, she cant climb ladders yet lol).
Because Issy is still so small, we tend to be pretty close and can "bat away" any incoming child who is getting too close or rough I would probably say something to the kid .. then exclaim loudly how useless the parent was  ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
|
Posted By: KH25
Date Posted: 29 April 2009 at 7:59pm
No no, I only give evil looks when their kid is in the wrong and they are doing nothing about it  Ashleigh is always trying to climb up the slide too but I try and stop her!
ETA Sorry tried to stop this posting when I realised you were talking to the other Kelly not me  But its taking at least 5 mins to get from one page to another and I wasn't quick enough! So please ignore this post lol!------------- Kelly, mum to DD, 19Jun06 (26wks 1lb15oz) DS1, 24Oct10 (32wks 4lb11oz) and DS2, 31Dec11 (32wks, 4lb11) http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 29 April 2009 at 8:08pm
|
Yeah we are constantly lifting Issy off the slide so children can come down it lol
Luckily our local park has three slides on the one playground, so we can usually find one where the bigger kids arent. She does have a habit of stopping half way through the tunnels though  ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
|
Posted By: kabe
Date Posted: 29 April 2009 at 9:23pm
|
SimSam, I often feel like I'm the playground police! I have no hesitation in telling kids off , who're old enough to know better. Nothing annoys me more than poorly supervised kids being rough in playgrounds. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 29 April 2009 at 9:37pm
|
i pretty much believe in letting kids deal with it themselves, so long as they are in the same age group. i would definitley tell a 7 yr old off for kicking my kid tho, that is unacceptable.
my kids have in the past climbed up the slide, and i believe in letting them experiment and if they wont move and get bowled over, then hopefully they will learn from that. once at sylvia park a kid bit my boy really hard, and there was no parent there, i told the kid off and also asked the sister why they were there with no parent. anyway the dad turned up ( he wasnt that far away it turned out) and i thought uh oh he is going to tell me off... but he was so apologetic and made the boy apologise and then we encouraged them to play together in a nicer way. my pet peeve at parks are parents who constantly do everything for their child, including interacting with the other kids for them... drives me insane, let them work it out themselves i say! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
|
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 29 April 2009 at 10:33pm
|
Screw it, tell the kid off, tell them it's not acceptable that they treat a little kid like that, they are old enough to know they are doing something wrong & if their parent/caregiver doesn't care or isn't looking or whatever then you as an adult need to step in & supervise. If their adult then abuses you for telling their kid off or what ever obviously it's either usual behaviour for the child they might not have seen so either leave or tell them exactly what happened incase they didn't see it properly. Sometimes you need to pick your battles.
Alia got kicked on the toys at New World, I stood & watched noticed no parents & my usually very outgoing child was very unhappy & sullen, but still not moving off  so when he kicked her again I said Oi, stop that right now, he looked at me and said Woops I said Alia do you want to come with me or stay, she chose to stay & I told DH (who looks like chopper & looks scary) to watch out of sight. Kid tried again so he told him off & we took Alia with us. And of course then took her frustration out on us 
Now she is 5 & knows to say "stop that, I don't like it" yet in this situation with a kid she didn't know she couldnt'. She says she can do it at school. I am also one to let her sort it out herself but when she is being obviously bullied then we need to step in. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: Glow
Date Posted: 29 April 2009 at 10:36pm
|
Yea Id let the 7yr old know that that wasnt nice
Kal is a touchy bitey kid so I have had to watch him all the time around others & let him know that hitting hurts, make him appologise &/or remove him if necessary. ------------- Mummy of Two Boys B: 2004 K: 2007 |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 29 April 2009 at 11:42pm
I should explain ,I don't have a problem with little kids going up slides, they are learning, I mean ones that are 7, 8,9 and are doing it just because. What I don't understand is why the parents glare at ME , heck , im not the one going down the slide, thats my daughter , glare at her ! If I was to go down the slide , it would most likely break .... -------------
|
Bizzy wrote:Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 30 April 2009 at 2:19am
|
Unfortunately when someone mistreats or hurts lucas I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach too, I would have told the kid off right then & there (I don't see any problem with telling another child off if they're clearly in the wrong and harming others) and I don't care who their supervising parents is ...clearly they aren't doing their job so I would have mentioned it to them as well.
Part of me would have to question why a kid of that age (7yo) would think its acceptable on any level to kick a child smaller than them, let alone a baby/toddler? Makes you wonder if its something they have picked up from the home iykwim (not trying to spark a debate or argument, but all children should be taught from a young age that violence of any kind isn't acceptable, kicking is basically the same as punching IMO - if not more forceful.) *Hugs* SimSam, and poor wee Oli. Not nice when your wee one gets hurt, let alone by another kid thats a hell of a lot BIGGER and should know better. |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 30 April 2009 at 7:47am
bahaha! (the joys of being pg)------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
|
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 30 April 2009 at 7:57am
im excatly the same, i refuse to let the older kids bully my little one or anyone elses for that matter. I am nice to the older kids though and just ask them to watch out for the little ones, but if i have to repeat myself 3 times or more then i tend to get tetchy and i will ask where their parents are and take them to the parents ...for the most part the parents are pretty good, its the parents that go off at yah that you know just what their kids are going to be like IYKWIM ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Bubnumber2
Date Posted: 30 April 2009 at 10:06am
|
Ah, this is something that worries me a bit (kids being rough) because my 4 year old, despite being really tall, stocky and strong for his age, is a bit of a mouse...even his teacher (in a very affection manner) has named him her gentle giant. I am very proud of his gentle and easy going nature.
He doesn't tend to do anything if kids are being rough or kinda mean. However, a few months back we were at Lollipops playland, and he was happily playing in the 4 and under section (he was 3 at the time), when these two kids who seemed to be about 7-8 years old came in...acting like real nasty little so and so's (I know I shouldn't call kids nasty, but grr) to the smaller kids. They were told to get out of the under 4 area, but they soon came back. I wasn't going to take my son out, because he was having fun...but he was on the slide (admittedly being a bit slow, he tends to laugh and smile to himself and really 'savour' the moment at the top of the slide lol) and one of these kids climbed up the SIDE (not up the ladder or even the slide) and started trying to push my son out of the way, and attempted to stamp/jump on him. I was rushing over to sort it out, or at least pull him out of it, but my boy stood up and really pushed the kid away from him, and shouted "NO" at him.
Perhaps I should have told him not to push another kid over, but unfortunately all I could think of was "HA! Take THAT!". That particular child did not come back. The kids parents were sitting drinking coffee, not bothering to keep an eye on anything. It was a staff member that originally tried to get the kids out of the under 4 area, not their parents.------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/"> 
|
Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 30 April 2009 at 10:31am
|
I was at lollypops a few weeks ago where this little girl who was about three clawed Sam right down his nose, just out of the blue, Sam is a very gentle child and didn't do anything to provoke her. He was bleeding so I dealt to that and just as I was about to say something to the mother, the little girl bit a huge chunk out of a little babys arm! I mean a big bleeding welt, it looked awful. The mother of the baby went nuts, the mother of the little girl who wasn't really paying attention to her child was so embarrassed and apologetic. The baby had to have an icepack and they pretty much left straight away. I then wondered why Sam and I were the only ones left there with this little girl and her mum. I didn't say anything to the mum after that, I felt quite bad for her.
The next time I was at lollypops there was this horrible little sh*t that was following Sam around and pushing him over on purpose and hitting him with toys. He was smiling while he was doing it and laughing and it made me so wild. AND, he must have been at least four, while Sam is tall and stocky, he is not even two yet. Anyway, the second time he pushed Sam over I went over to him and said under my breath (so he heard) 'If you push my baby over one more time, I will drag you to your mother'. He didn't take any notice of me and kept doing it to other kids, and the mother didn't care, so we went home. |
Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 30 April 2009 at 11:34am
|
I'd be pissed! Lol I threaten them bad I know but nobody touches my baby when they should know better and gets away with it
I'd have grabbed the brat and made her apologise to Oli then taken her to her mum and told her to mind her kid or leave! Jakes a great little guy, very friendly and interactive and I won't let my child suffer because other parents are useless. -------------   
|
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 30 April 2009 at 12:03pm
|
If they were little as well, eg toddlers and weren't doing it to deliberatly hurt but more as a curiosity thing "what happens if I pinch them " then I would be pretty lenient , I expect my child to get hurt sometimes and toddlers all in one area-well it comes with the territory .
But if they are older children picking on kids younger than them , well thats different , because thats bullying , using their age and size to their advantage . -------------
|
Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 30 April 2009 at 12:07pm
|
Oh yeah same here they're all learning at that younger age and need to be directed not disciplined. -------------
|
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 30 April 2009 at 12:33pm
|
For me I think it depends on the ages of the kids involved as well as the "aggresiveness" of the act.
When McKayla was smaller and didnt have the vocab to actually deal with the situation I would intervene really quickly by either removing her from the situation, talking to the other child, or taking that child to the parent. If the other kid was more or less same age or a toddler I would talk to teh parent and let them deal with it. Now that she is bigger I get her to put her hands out and say stop. I still keep an eye on it the whole time and if it looks like it is going to get out of hand or the other child is a lot bigger I tell them straight off, whether the parents are there or not. (say a 6 or 7 year old child). If there is any real physical violence with a child that know they shouldnt be doing it I immediately tell them off for it and then talk to McKayla about what to do in a situation like that. As for going up slides. No problem with that but she knows to get off when someone is at teh top waiting. What grieves me is when a child is going down and another one immediately follows without the other one of the slide first. I HATE that. They can damage kidneys that way. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 30 April 2009 at 12:56pm
|
Absolutley. This particular park is pretty busy most of the time, and often (as its designed for them) is full of littlies. I dont have an issue when toddlers get rough with each other, but I ALWAYS watch Oli very carefully and reinforce to him to use gentle hands, and I would like to think that most other parents would do the same. I agree with Bizzy - you dont want to have to follow your kid around the whole time and do everything with them, but I guess I have an expectation that parents will moniter their childrens behaviour and whilst Oli is still little I guess that means I will follow him around a bit! I like to try and let him play with other kids without my involvment, but he is still quite little for his age, so sometimes I feel a bit overprotective. In this particular case, the child knew exactly what she was doing. When she did it I said to her quite sternly "You saw he was there, didnt you. It wasnt very nice to kick him over, you need to be more careful around the little kids". I was so peeved because her mother didnt even notice - either the incident or me telling her child off. I am working hard at making sure that Oli understand the consequences of his actions, if he continues to be rough with a child, I pick him up and remove him from the situation. I know that different parents have different parenting styles, and I am cool with that, but I guess I expect my toddler to be able to play happily without being beaten, kicked, punched or bitten by other kids.
------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 30 April 2009 at 12:59pm
Me too. I have no problem telling other kids off at all and I always make it in earshot of the Mother. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 30 April 2009 at 2:34pm
|
I would have told the 7 year old off as well, at 7 they are well old enough to know better.
Younger , I would tell them to be gentle, I wouldn't tell them off so much (by younger I mean toddlers ) ,but I would also expect their parents to tell them to be gentle as well -------------
|
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 30 April 2009 at 2:34pm
|
I would have told the 7 year old off as well, at 7 they are well old enough to know better.
Younger , I would tell them to be gentle, I wouldn't tell them off so much (by younger I mean toddlers ) ,but I would also expect their parents to tell them to be gentle as well -------------
|
Posted By: sweetpea
Date Posted: 30 April 2009 at 2:53pm
|
Yup i would say something to the child at that age they should know better. I would prehaps just say to watch out for the smaller kids and that wasn't very nice maybe you should say sorry.
We live beside a playground there are soo many lazy parents out there it really gets on my nerves. Some can't park the car on the street they drive into the playground and watch from the car. Most of the time the kids are well behaved and nothing bad happens. we often keep an eye on kids in the park if their parents aren't about just in case something happens. i recently had to take a prockle out of a kids foot he was in barfeet and said to him next time it might pay to have shoes on so this doesn't happen again low and behold he was back in the park again later that week still in barefeet. He would have been around 6 i'm guessing |