Most embarassing labour moment
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Topic: Most embarassing labour moment
Posted By: Chickoin
Subject: Most embarassing labour moment
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 12:41am
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OK, tell us your most embarassing/funny labour moment/s.
Mine goes like this... I was induced with the gel so my cervix was mighty tender. The specialist had given me an internal early in the day which hurt like a beearch. He went along his merry way. A few hours later I'm getting an epidural put in while sucking on the gas. I hear the specialist talking and I ask the epidural guy "Is that Dr NASTY?!!" Epi guy; "what? No, that's Dr Smith (or whatever his real name was)" Me; "Yes, Dr Smith is Dr Nasty. He's mean." Epi guy; "No, Dr Smith is lovely, he's a wonderful man, he's not mean." Me; "No. He's mean to VAGINAS!!!!!!!" I really yelled 'vaginas'. Turns out Dr Nasty was just outside the room, which had a curtain in place of a door. Which is why the epi guy was kinda embarassed to be having the loud conversation with me 
I also thanked the epi man several times for 'making my bum warm'. I also anounced to everyone rather loud and proud that I had done 'a little poo'. Oh the gas. -------------   
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Replies:
Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 8:11am
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roflmao, my worst moment had to be when I decided that labour or not, I was going to do the groceries. THAT was NOT my most brilliant idea. I knocked over an entire stand of marmite, and this poor little couple in thier 80's were trying to pick it up for me. I just couldn't quite reach the jars as they rolled around the floor.... ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 8:45am
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hahahahaha you guys make me laugh...sorry i have nothing to add as my first labour i never spoke at all during it, and had an elective the second time... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 9:18am
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Coming towards the end of my labour, just before DS was born I had a complete "woe is me" moment and very dramatically (think 1950's hand on forehead) announced that "This is horrible"...hmmm, really, you think.
I still cringe about it today 
The reply from the registra was "well, they don't call it vacation, do they?"...guess not! -------------  
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Posted By: ISpyCharlie
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 9:19am
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Lol, I was the same as Kazzle, I seriously couldn't speak and closed my eyes nearly the whole time ( as if that would make the pain go away!) AND mum goes "Oh look she's sleeping", in my mind I thought 'like f*%k I am!', Though I agree with gas making ya go loopy, at one point my midwife had 5 heads!
------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 9:20am
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I dont have anything remotely funny compared to that! What a crack up!!!!!
But I did get told off because they were waiting to give me an epi and I needed to go to the toilet and was told I was taking too long so they were banging on the door. Come on - I needed to poop - you can't hurry poop! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: palomino
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 10:40am
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Haha when i was on the gas i got so giggly. My dad came in to see me (probably wondering why it wasnt over and done with, it had been 12hrs) and hes very anti drugs etc and i was like "OMG I FEEL LIKE IM SO STONED!!!" and laughing my ass off.
And my DP tells everyone he doesnt snore, and because it was taking so long he feel asleep on a matteress on teh floor and was snoring the hospital down. i was telling everyone "SEE he does snore, he snores he snores he snores!!!!!!" etc... lol im sure the doctors where soo interested. |
Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 10:53am
Bahahahahah Chickoin you totally made my day with your poo comment! Awesome 
I wee'd on the table (after sitting on the toilet for 5 minutes trying). Mum arrived 5 minutes before I started pushing. Of course I burst into tears (after holding it together through everything else) and said "Mummy, I can't do this!" Gee, anyone would think I was 5!! ------------- 
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Posted By: Manda08
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 11:00am
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Haha soo funny! I have two things that still get laughed about now, has only been 3 months though but after pushing for 2 hours, the doctor came in and said can i do an internal, i said no had enough of you lot sticking your hands up there... anyway a contraction came and he put his hand up to do the internal, I yelled at him "get your f**kn hands out of me" he was the one that delivered angus in the end.
Other thing was the little white spew buckets, i would not let go of mine, i crushed it, bit it, you name it... it was like holding on to a lil teddy bear, nearly everyone that came in offered to take it off me and i yelled at them everytime, no way!!! Its now sitting on top of the tv in the bedroom! ------------- 
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Posted By: Freesia
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 11:23am
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I put my hospital gown on backwards. In the movies they always open at the back and so I put it on like that and couldn't work out how I was supposed to do up the buttons down my back.
And I had IV lines in both hands and found it a little bit difficult when I had to use the bathroom. It most the most embarrassing thing ever to have to call out to DP to ask him to help afterwards
You guys must've had some great gas, mine didn't do anything (although DP reckons it worked great when he took a swig). -------------  
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 11:30am
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I didnt really have any, I hardly spoke the whole time, I just grit my teeth and breathed as best I could, if someone spoke to me I just grunted at them lol.
I started to speak when I got the epidural because I could relax. Oh, there was one moment when the midwife came in and said I needed to some panadol, I said ok, and then she said "rectally"  That was pretty embaressing having two huge pills shoved up your bum while your husband, mum and grandmother are in the room with you lol
Ah the joys! ------------- |
Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 11:34am
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I have lots.
With Janaya I had an epidural, the MW told me to go to the toilet and that she would help me, I announced I was fine, got off the bed and fell flat on my face as I couldnt feel my legs. And then I just laughed cause it didnt hurt (it did afterwards though) Just before Janaya was born i woke up crying to my mum that I had pooed my pants in my sleep Turns out I was ready to push.
With Jackson I actually thought I had died while going through the transition period. I felt very strange and was talking to DH about death and asked if i was "Dead yet". I too, told my mummy I couldnt do it
Oh, and I just rememberd,the mw came in while I was in the bath and told me I could push, and said she would come back in a few mins. Mum told me to start pushing and I kept telling her I had no feeling or urge to push. MW came back and was behind me, while I was yelling "she is a LIAR! I am NOT READY TO PUSH!" They all got me out of the bath and tricked me into getting on the bed. MW broke the rest of my waters and it felt like Jacksons head had hit the exit with a thud, and I yelled at the MW saying "see, I wasnt ready to push, you WERE a liar!!!" |
Posted By: MrsH
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 11:34am
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Oh these are classic.
I have a couple: Later in the labour, everytime I had an internal I kept farting and kept apologising for it. My sister (she's only 15) kept laughing at me and the midwife told her off.
Also, since I was wearing the hospital gown, everytime I went to move, the back of it would open up (at that stage I didn't really care) but my Mum (who is white, I'm half-cast) kept harping on about how brown my bum is and how did I get my bum so brown? I'M POLYNESIAN, MUM, STRANGELY THAT IS THE COLOUR OF MY SKIN!!! Oh, an annoying thing was while I was trying to push, my mum and MIL were having a full on conversation about how much Mum's washing machine was gonna cost to get fixed WTF? - they got told off by the midwife too - HAH! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Mum_mum
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 11:42am
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oooooooo you guys are making me nervous! I just got to the bit about labour in my birth book and wanted to shut the page it seems too damn scary!
Is good that you see the funny side of it now though  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
 Angel baby - May 2008
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 12:35pm
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At some stage of pushing and for some reason, have no idea why, mw wanted to do an internal and I could feel her really really pushing so I shouted at her "don't push him back in"
I can't believe all you guys got high on gas, I'm sure mine wasn't switched on cos it did nothing except make me slightly light headed, but I think if I sucked in air the way I was desperately sucking at the gas it would make me go light headed. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 12:42pm
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baha these are great! Yip not sure about the mil and mum in the room while pushing though! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Mamma2N
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 12:54pm
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hehe.. these are classic!
well, mine was more that my support team and my MW were having a good ol' laugh at my expense... I was in the birthing pool, sucking on that gas - oh I love the gas and kept letting everyone know.. I was kind enough to offer it round as well Anyway, my MW had a little looksie down there 'Yep, shes coming very soon.. there's enough room down there for a double-decker bus!' .. To which DH replies ''I knew it!''
and everyone erupted into laughter.. DH; MW; Mum, MIL & Student MW.. MW kept going on to me how I'm made for this and I should be popping out atleast 10 bambini - I told her several times to F&%$ off! Oh and as she was born and placed on my chest.. I took one look at her, turned to my mother and in my gas-induced state proudly announced ''She's not ugly!'' |
Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 1:07pm
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haha love it
I remember being in the tub and telling mum im not sure if i need to push or poo she almost sprinted to the nurses station to get the mw and after being told he was feet first and i was going for a CS then there is not enough time you have to push i beleive my works were 'If your not going to cut the f**ker out reach in and drag him out!!!!' along with 'im holding him in until you get me the bloody drugs' after being told there was not time and to concentrate on sucking gas. Oh and after he was born the first thing i said was "is it still a boy?" i think thats all my stupid moments -------------   
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 1:39pm
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Bahaha I love them all!
I had a few 'moments' The one that I am still had on about was about an 30 minutes before Maddi was born I locked myself in the bathroom. Contractions were coming nonstop and I couldnt get off the loo. I remember gettting really angry at DH and shouting 'Just hurry up and get in the car NOW, just go without me' while still locked in the bathroom and I wasnt planning on coming out anytime soon. I think he had to find a key to unlock the door and drag me to the car 
Both babies I was determined to have them on the loo and I remember panicking that the baby was coming out my bum and the mw was wrong! And DH still likes to tell everyone that when it got really painful I just went owch owch owch, like getting a hot dish out of the oven... ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 2:23pm
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ROFLMAO this thread has brightened up my whole day LOL...
I was in labour for ages without painrelief but then they realised Jake was stuck which is why I wasn't dilating. They gave me the gas while I was waiting the the epidural lady but it did jack til the epidural lady came in and told me I was sposed to be holding my breath. I then got completely stoned because I kept saying I was having contractions so they wouldn't take it off me and then began discussing my partner at the times private bits I wasn't being nice either hehehehe...
I had mum and dad with me and it was daddy who I was telling to help me lol actually my dad was the only one I would have anything to do with during my labour he loved it!
After 16+hrs of full-on labour and still only being 1cm dilated coz Jakes shoulder was stuck and he wasn't hitting my cervix, they told me I needed a c-section and went off to organise it. Within 45 minutes I thought I needed to poo but luckily my mum thought differently and ordered the midwife back in. She had a look and with a huge amount of shock informed the room she could see hair. I got really pissed off and yelled at her that I hadn't had my damn brazillian and could she please just focus and make sure nobody could see my poo!! LOL thankfully I didn't poo, the hair was Jakes head which had suddenly decided to present itself and coz the epidural had worn off for reasons they weren't sure of I was able to push and feel (OMG ring of fire  ) and it all worked out fine. Everyone except me thought it was funny but that may have had something to do with the relief!-------------   
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Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 2:31pm
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Oh yes, I forgot about my "mummy" moment!
I was starting to push and yelled to mum who was in the room somewhere (my eyes were closed) "I'm sorry Mummy!!" Everyone stopped and asked what for? I said "for hurting you!" She said "what? you didn't hurt me dear..." I said "no! When I came out of you!". Ha, She told me it was all worth it NOW lol -------------
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Posted By: Leahsmummy
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 2:42pm
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Haha this is so funny, I dont have any funny moments I got to 8cms and had only been on the gas for 20mins then I got rushed to get an emerg c section. SO boring.
But keep them coming they are to funny!!!  -------------   
Angel Baby Dec 09, We will love you forever. |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 3:24pm
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Funny how poos are featuring in a lot of the stories!
I was drugged for all my labour but the epi was wearing off when I was pushing out the placenta and everytime I pushed I kept saying (quietly, I thought but probably quite loudly) "I'm going to poo, I'm going to poo" and the Dr kept saying "It's OK, keep pushing". Though having a med student catheterise me wasn't that flash either, esp since I worked in the same DHB as him - I kept saying "If I ever meet you in a professional capacity you have to forget you ever met me". Course now I can't remember his name or what he looks like, just that he sat through 12 hours of labour with me and had to leave 15 minutes before Daniel was born so he could pick up his parents from the airport! ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: LILLIS
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 3:38pm
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hahaha - these gave me my much need laugh for the day.
I dont really have any as I had an elective c-section with Toni, all i remember was after they gave me pethidine when she was born all I could say was "im a mum" over and over again... |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 3:45pm
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yeah , I think almost taking a dump (as he put it ) in my DH's hand was probably the highlight .
Meh , I didn't care by then tho ------------- 
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 5:42pm
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These are really great guys.
I don't really have anything to share except when I got the spinal block for my C I felt like I was going to be sick and I *know* that I was making these weird faces at the anaethetist. It seemed quite a normal thing to do at the time.-------------  
 
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Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 6:45pm
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with bailey I didnt really say anything. the one thing that really sicks in my head Is I remember I would always be really embarrassed to give birth have have peopl look down there, the morning I had bailey I got out of the bath and the midwife turned up but you know what I didnt care lol
she had to convince me to put clothes on to go outside lol aidan well was different, I was placed up in stirrups and although it was embarrassing atm but I was really scared and worried :( I heard a large thud on the floor but everyone - all 20+ people - the job of having a preemie - was laughing, I might at this point add was screaming as I thought thy had dropped Aidan and were just laughing at him 
well turns out, I popped my waters with such a force they they drenched two doctors head to toe! and the thud was the excess hitting the floor I think its funny and embarrassing now but its taken me almost 3 years to do so |
Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 6:48pm
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It's strange how doing very odd things seemed normal at the time lol.
I also moaned with pleasure as my aunty wiped my face with a cold flannel. Continuous loud pleasure moans. Then pain moans. Then more long pleasure moans, like I felt it was very very important for my aunty to realise just how good she was at mopping me, otherwise she might stop. Oh dear, this thread is reminding me of all the embarassing bits! -------------
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Posted By: kellie
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 7:23pm
I think I had about twenty + different people take a look/feel up there. Didn't care at the time but now it is abit  lol
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Posted By: LeahandJoel
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 7:53pm
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I was in stirrups, the room was full of people (10 all up) and the fire alarm was going off out in the hallway (new maternity unit only opened a couple of weeks before and they were still testing things), and I informed everyone that the f**kin place could burn down around me if they expected me to be going outside looking like that!! Was just a test thank goodness. The only other thing I remember was pretty much climbing off the bed (legs still in stirrups mind you) aiming to kill the anethisist because he was insisting on waffling through all the paperwork when I had been to a clinic 3 weeks earlier and signed everything just so I wouldn't have to have the waffle in the middle of labour....bloody men!! -------------  
 
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Posted By: SquishysMum
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 7:59pm
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LMAO at Babe - you crack me up!
I think I spent the whole hour and a half of pushing telling my midwife (in between contractions) "I can't do this" "I seriously can't do this" "You don't UNDERSTAND, Christine, I ACTUALLY CAN'T DO THIS!" "I'm so tired" "I can't do this" and on and on and on..... I also distinctly remember asking for the salad servers (forceps) at least once! About 10 mins after Lydia was born I was apologising for all the negativity... I also broke a glass while in the birthing pool, went to put it on the side and it fell off onto the floor. Poor cleaner had to come in and cop an eye-full of my naked body hunched over in the pool. MW told her it was "Dad" (DH) that broke it, and it was SO IMPORTANT that she know it was me, I think I corrected everyone about 3 times! |
Posted By: kakapo
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 8:19pm
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Hehehe, these are all so funny My embarrassing moment happened after labour, when being stitched up (had a third degree tear). The poor surgeon had been woken at 3am, come in to hospital, and was about to start working on me. I was hoisted up in stirrups, but feeling cheerful and chatting away to him. He didn't warn me that he was about to touch me, and the instant he did my entire body did this gigantic involuntary jolt (waaaaaay OTT for the touch) ... the stunned expression on his face is still imprinted on my mind! He must have been wondering how on earth he was going to get the needle anywhere near me lol. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 8:32pm
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Ha ha, labour is just so *dignified*!
I've given birth a few times so have a few amusing moments.
With Maya I made my support person go outside for the first internal. A few hours later I had my legs up in the air and couldn't care less who saw. Oh and when I was pushing I screamed out "I can't do this!" and my midwife replied, "sorry hun, a bit late for that - push!" With the gremlins, Willie was keeping people updated via text and during the pushing stage with Sienna (which took over an hour) one of my friends texted him back to say she just bought a dog  - I told him I was going to throw the effing phone out the effing window
After Sienna was out, the OB said he was going to do a scan to see where the second baby was (there was a scanning maching next to the bed). Then he realised he didn't need the scanner - her head was half out already
With lil miss, I had to walk from WAU to DU at Akld hospital with a blanket between my legs after I had my waters broken coz it gushed every time I moved. Then the gown wouldn't fit me so I was walking round in a bra and the gown open down the front, completely naked on the bottom half - my poor support crew saw far more than they signed on for! Oh and I pooed as she was coming out. Don't know if this happened with the first three, but with lil miss I was very aware and was yelling "I'm pooing" and my midwife was like "never mind about that, mind about the baby!" -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 8:46pm
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OMG you have all brightened what was a very dull day
I remember looking at DH as he was holding me still for the epi just shaking my head and saying 'I need to go, I just can't do this' - like I had a choice! Probably telling the 8-9 people in the room who were all staring at my fufu while I was in stirrups that 'just do whatever, I can't feel a damn thing and can't push, so just suck him out' then vomitting while I was having Jack was a bit weird for me. Too many drugs! Announcing to my family that 'this is sweet, if I didn't have to be pregnant I'd go through heaps of labours' (before I gave birth) - epi had WELL and truly kicked in at that point! |
Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 8:55pm
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Kakapo i was the same he told me to sit still or id end up stitched crooked and i told him just to stitch it all up as it certainly wont be used again. All the nurses in the room were saying i would forget eventually and have more i asked if they had kids one had 2 and i said she was nuts the OB said he and his wife had 4 and i think i said that woman is insane and another nurse said she only had 1 and i said she was the smartest person in the room! -------------
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 8:59pm
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haha Emz that reminded me when they all started coming in the room (as things were going wrong) i think i said rather loudly anyone else wanna come have a look or get a hand up there??
Im really not a nice person in labour i shouldnt have more kids for the sake of the people around me -------------
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Posted By: monkey33
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 9:03pm
After watching my sister give birth I thought I was prepared as much as I could be - but after reading this I am terrified again - not of the pain as I know very well that that is going to be horrific, it is of the embarrassing things that can happen!  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: palomino
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 9:26pm
| best read iv read for awhile. its good to have a laugh about it! |
Posted By: noodle
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 9:49pm
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lol this is hard case!!! just after i got to the hospital the spec was doing an internal and they told me to suck on the gas which i was doing so.....love that stuff!!! but anyway after it my mw said to me are you ok an di replied yip i just caught a big snapper! i just remember everyone bursting into laughter and couldn't work out what they were laughing at because i was being completly serious lol
then I was pushing, and the mw is saying to me ok push push push push puuush like they do lol i was pushing then inbetween each push before i started i kept saying nooooo i'm not going to push coz i'm gona poo, i'm not doing it i dont wana poo lol she had to keep reassuring me that i wasn't pooing but i think she was lying i was too embarrased to ask afterwards and DH didn't know he stayed up my end lol ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kakapo
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 9:49pm
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lol WRX. Hope you did manage to stay still in the end |
Posted By: Chickaboo
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 9:52pm
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with #1 I was pretty young and naive. But there was a few funny things:
I kept farting - then apologising. After he was born and they wanted to get the placenta out - it was being a toughy so the dr asked me to push a little to help it out - well me still in my full labour swing pushed really hard and out it came spraying the dr with blood with it... whoops. Also My brother had been waiting outside when I was in labour and I had my legs in the striups waiting to be stitched up = he came in and saw me all in my glory and I was like inviting him in - oh the shame. I had commented after I gave birth - yay now I can shave my legs again - my mum looked at me and frowned I was like What?? Apparently there was this really hairy lady in the room LOL.. and last thing with Josh (#1) is when I was getting stitched up I got told that you don't feel the stitches cause you are so releived baby is out and you get a local - well after the local - which hurt - He started stitching and I yelled at him Do you realise THAT HURTS! LOL #2 Brooke was a pretty easy birth as far as births go - though when the Midwife had broken my waters I got 2 very horrible strong contractions and I yelled - very loudly 'I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE' . After she was born I wanted a shower pretty much straight away and left a trail of blood all the way to the bathroom - came out and here was my midwife cleaning it up - felt a bit stink.. whoops forgot that would happen - and yeah got pretty high on the gas - ' and I said its like being high - in front of my mum. Ceasar for #3 so no funny stories with him although after I had the spinal i kept telling everyone I couldn't feel my legs and how weird it was - like I told anyone who would listen LOL.. All great stories here... ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
876 |
Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 10:13pm
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do you not normally leave a huge trail of blood to the bathroom? Cos it all gushed out when i stood up and i think i said oh crap and the midwife told me not to worry they dont have carpet for a reason in birthing rooms.
Oh and dont worry about labour being embarrassing that was my biggest fear (as well as pooing in labour but i dont think i did they told me Josh did all over the OB tho which is suppose to be good luck) so much so that i only considered taking DP as my support person but because his ass was at the other end of the island drag racing i had no choice but to bring mum and i was too busy concentrating on the contractions i didnt care who seen what actually that feeling stayed for a few weeks following as well (maybe the gas did work and just didnt wear off) cos i was getting my boobs out in front of heaps of people and it embarrasses me thinking about it now even though i know thats silly. -------------
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 10:47pm
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With Andrew my contractions stopped and the medical team were getting quite worried, I remeber laying there chatting away saying its ok 5 more minutes it'll come again and it doesn't really hurt and I don't really feel like pushing sorry. Got told off for not pushing and was threated forceps and c section - that got me pushing!!! Josh I wouldn't move so the contractions could help me dilate (I was 7cms at that stage), DH got pi$$ed with me and walked out of the ward and went and got food. I jumped in the bath once he left me and I dilated the extra 3 cm in 20 minutes he was gone and my MW got a little panicy that he was gone so rang him to get his arse back there now ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 11:49pm
LMAO  OMG i dont think ive laughed this much in ages, my face hurts . .
hmmm well with sarah, i was enduced my midwife went out for lunch & told me to go for a walk to get things going si i did then back to the hospital, nothing happening i had the belly monotor strap on & needed to go to the loo so jumped off the bed & my legs lust wouldnt work so i freaked out histerically saying " OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY LEGS!!" to the poor student MW lol then i really needed to push & yep was fully dialated, my mw turned up pretty much as sarah was born & aparently i said "nice of you to show up!!" LOL then as it all happened so fast i went into shock . . . with jett woke up at 2am screaming in pain then rolled over & went back to sleep, then woke up at 3.30 panting and screamed at dh to ring MW, he did & got her answerphone  i was not happy, so me & dh jumped in his bouncy ute & he stopped at the frikn traffic lights!! with NO other cars on the road and me screaming "WTF are you stopping for!!! hurry up" got 2 hospital told mw i needed to go to the toilet & she said ahhhh no you dont "YESSSSS IIIII DOOOO!" but i didnt & jett was born 6min later i took 1 big suck on the gas & nearly fell asleep LOL during pushing & i remember the student mw saying OMG i think shes asleep then dh saying you have to push hun which was met with a "if you think its so easy YOU do it"
hahahaha ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: sottise
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 8:06am
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Hehe, I almost wish I had more embarrassing stories after reading these. :D
I do recall (very dramatically) announcing between contractions "I know everyone says this, but I am NEVER doing this again." I meant it at the time - can't blame the gas either since it didn't work. >.> Then they were talking c-section due to lack of progress. The midwife asked me if I had an urge to push and I was like "No, but I feel kind of pressure..." OB stuck her hand up and said "No wonder, I feel an ear." Oh... hehe. And I discovered trying to push with an epi is freakin hard - you have no frame of reference. Everyone was telling me to push harder and I was "I AM! I CAN'T FEEL IT!" - probably the only time I approached postal. :D ------------- 
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Posted By: blondy
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 9:41am
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I love these! I didn't have any majorly embarrasing moments, but after convincing myself I was actually in labour (at 1am, after lying in bed for 2 hours having regular contractions)....I woke DH to tell him, then decided I *really* needed to get up and do a load of washing, as I only had about 2 items of clothing that still fit me, and they were dirty!
I remember apologising to everyone while I was in the birthing pool, as the gas wasn't doing anything, and I desperately wanted the epi, and I kept telling the mw how I usually had a really high pain threshold...of course it turned out I had gone from 3cm to 10cm in 2 hours, and was ready to push (so there was a reason I felt like I was going to die!) and when I got out of the pool to go to the delivery room, the mw reassured me that i shouldn't have any problems breastfeeding, as i had prominent nipples......and at the time i just thought how great that was!
and DH's most embarrasing labour moment - as soon as Natalie was born, her rushed out of the room to SIL who was waiting outside, to say: "the baby's REALLY ugly!" in a happy voice.....(he did just mean covered in blood and goo, but still!  )-------------  
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Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 9:51am
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ROFL
------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 10:24am
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Hahaha god i love this thread
I do remember being in the pool and telling mum i need the drugs and she said i was doing really well and didnt need them and i replied if id got to do my birth plan it would just say drugs and i cant do 8-10 hours of this (my labour was 3 hours from first contraction to josh arriving for some reason i assumed it would be at least 8 hours cos AN class told us that was average) DH would have almost made it home from Nelson for the birth if Josh had been closer to the average -------------
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 10:44am
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I went mad at DH when I was having Keira for ringing the midwife, I honestly didt think I was in labour. The mw came and checked and I was 5cm and had to get to the hospital NOW. I argues bacause I want to finish the washing, me being a smarty pants decided to wash all my pant the night before so were drying on the clothes horse. I think I went in Shorts and long socks and I was not impresed Lucky I didn't wait around though as Keira was born half an hour after getting to the hospital.
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Posted By: rachelsea
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 12:06pm
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Hehe I see the poo featuring quite a lot! I'd only been in established labour for 3hrs so they thought I had ages to go, and I was telling the MWs that I'd had enough and wanted to go home now, then exclaimed that it didn't hurt anymore suddenly, and then "OH I'M POOING I'M POOING!!!" (she was born 17mins later )
Oh also, I remember I was still in early labour and having only mild period pains and heard the person in the next room wailing really loudly (I was already at hosp as my water had broken, and baby was early and not engaged yet) and I said to DH and my friend "What's she moaning about? It's easy!" (I soon regretted that comment haha) Oh and I don't really remember this but DH wants me to say that when I was pushing (standing up leaning against the bed), apparently the OB (who came in 2mins before she was born) and the MW were arguing about why I should (OB) or shouldn't (MW) get up on the bed lol. The OB ordered me to get up on the bed, and I was saying "I can't move!" and the MW whispered to me to do one more really big push so I didn't have to get up on the bed! So I did and she was born with me still standing, and apparently the OB was really peeved off about it haha ------------- DD 4yrs DS 2yrs http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 12:17pm
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Well for me our plan was waterbirth with no drugs unless I really cant take it. So I was open minded.
She landed up being a c-section (long story). Anyway Grant was told to get changed into theatre clothes (this is now in South Africa) and they will prep me with the spinal ect. So I still remember the aneathatist putting the drip up himself and telling me this is the most pain I will feel. I seirously believed him as well. So they told me to hold the pillow and bend my back and just relax. Felt the first shot to numb the area. They waited for a bit and then started. And I literally said F*ck. He still told me it isnt nice to swear and you really shouldnt be feeling this. Told him to bloody get off somewhere right now you are moving that thing slightly right. He realised that I could actually feel. Eventually after 6 attempts and two tries and me swearing again (with him not reminding me not to swear) it didnt work so it was a general. When I woke up I was so disorientated. Breathing pipe wasnt even out yet and I freaked out holding my tummy and screaming what did they do to my baby. Then I wanted to know what was her weight. Was it big was it big. Then they called the ward to find out and said Ms van der Merwe's baby was 4,8kg (my maiden name was Ms van der Merwe). So the whole time I think I had this giant of a baby. When I got to my room and I saw the back of her head sticking out of Grants t-shirt my first thought was that she isnt a giant. His words was get your boobs out this one is hungry. And nope she was 3,42 kg. Only embaressing part was the next morning early they got me to stand up to make the bed (I wasnt allowed up until that point). I tried to get their attention and they were just busy chatting and chatting. Grant was sitting with McKayla and all of a sudden I just screamed to get their attention. I was standing there and due to me lying the whole time the blood pooled and when I was standing it came rushing out all on the carpet. They apologized and told me it is all normal I dont need to worry. I wasnt and I didnt feel too bad as I really tried to get their attention and they kept on saying they are almost done. Their own fault for having to clean that mess up. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: sarahm
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 6:11pm
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My face hurts from laughing
While I was in the birthing pool (at Birthcare) I was focusing on a picture of a flower on the wall, I suddenly shouted god that picture is horrible!! My MW quickly removed it. Like a lot of the others I kept saying I cant do this, I really cant do this....turns out I could
After hopping in and out of the pool, moving around the room and hopping on the bed I just couldnt find a place I felt comfortable while I was pushing. Spent lots of time hanging onto the handbasin of all things. I then decided I wanted to sit on the toilet ..... once I sat on that toilet I wasn't going anywhere. The MW was like Sarah you need to stand up or your baby is going to be born down the toilet, I started to loose it a bit here (yep full on screaming) and said no I'm staying right here!!!!!!! With a lot of effort her and DP managed to get me to stand up, Floyd was already crowning. They tried to get me to move but the toilet was my best friend so I ended up giving birth wedged between the toilet and the hand basin while my poor MW almost ended up in the toilet herself (not a lot of room between the toilet and basin!!) ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">  
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Posted By: AuntieSarah
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 7:19pm
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lmao these stories are hilarious! I don't think I did much particularly funny or embarrassing during labour (maybe because I didn't have any gas?!) Just one thing - when I'd pushed him out I looked down and said in astonishment "It's a BABY!" Not sure what I was expecting ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 7:57pm
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LOL dh reminded me that the mw went & got the ob/gyno after jett was born as i was loosing heaps of blood (2310mls) they pulled up a chair & a light to have a look down there & dh when round to see what she was lookn at & i yelled "Oi get back up this end thanks your not allowed down there" ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: blondy
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 8:12pm
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DH and I were both adamant that he would NOT be venturing down that end of the bed during labour! However, it was taking so long to push Natalie out, and there was only us plus the MW in the room, so he and the mw ended up having one of my legs braced against each of them, so he got a front seat view to everything! I think the slightly more embarrasing part was how afterwards (when people asked about the labour, and him being down there) - he said it was *interesting* seeing the birth first hand
funny how during and right after labour, all these things seem perfecttly normal, and it's not until weeks/months afterwards that you look back and cringe a little! -------------
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 8:14pm
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Aww man these are funny as. ITs so funny how your really don't care when you are actually in labour.
I remember being in transition with Jack and the midwife trying to do an internal. I told her to f off and shut my legs and tried to kick her away. That is kinda embarassing now lol With Caprece when the midwife was explaining for me to push and said its like doing a big poo. My partner then decided he needed to go and do a poo (and told us all ) I pushed once which broke my waters and then the midwife realised Caprece was right there so my Mum had to run down the hallway and drag Capreces Dad out of the toilet so he didn't miss it.
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 8:46pm
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I this thread. Even though having a baby is painful and messy and scary, it's great to hear the funny times as well
And Blondy, your story brough back memories of having the med student on my left leg and my MW on the right leg and the backup MW telling me when to push (epi) . And cos I couldn't feel it and didn't know how to push, I would always burst out laughing halfway through  . Oh, and I was practicing breathing while saying "ahhhhh" cos that's what the AN yoga woman had said to do. The OB walked in and said "What the hell is she doing" - I then reverted to medically-endorsed grunting. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 10:02pm
| AuntieSarah - your little story made me LOL...DH looked at me funny hehehe |
Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 12:53am
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Lol Rach, swearing at the mw and trying to kick her! I remember when I was pregnant I asked my mw if she gets abused by labouring women a lot, she said it can be rough at times and told me she had a large bruise on her leg because she was helping a girl who was labouring on the toilet and the girl had a contraction and kicked the mw hard and she fell against the bath! Poor midwives, they put up with a lot don't they? At least labouring women are entertaining, maybe that's why they encourage the use of gas so much, not so much for pain relief, more for entertainment value... suspicious... -------------
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Posted By: kabe
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 11:03am
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Lol, this has made me laugh! Can't think of any of my own but can share a story my MW told me.
The day before I had my baby at hospital, my MW's partner was helping a woman with a water birth. She was standing out side of the pool when the woman suddenly felt the baby was about to be born. The mw tripped over and fell head first into the bath, just as the baby was born! My MW was summoned urgently as she was in the room next door and said it was hilarious. Fortunately the couple found it funny! ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Flutterby
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 3:23pm
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What a great thread. I didn't find anything really embarasing during my long labour, but did do some things that I would have been embarased about if I could have been bothered.
Ice was my best friend. There was one stage when I had to get really serious about pushing as meconium was coming out and I had run out of ice, the MW said she wouldn't get me anymore ice until Cody was out. Even though I knew the importance of getting him out all I was worried about was getting more ice. She relented in the end, and Cody arrived half an hour later. There was also the time the MW wanted me to go toilet as I had been eating so much ice and it had been a long time since I had been. So I dragged myself to the toilet trailing my iv behind me and didn't even bother closing the door and while sitting on the toilet realised that I had forgot my ice so poor DP had to bring it into me. Didn't manage to go toilet so MW had to put a catheter in. Oh and then there was the time once Cody had arrived and DP had gone home for some sleep that I had to get a nurse in to help lower the bed, and I had a big bloody patch on the bed and on my gown, since I still had my IV in the nurse had to help me change. actually now that I think about it I was embarrased by that, but it had to be done. And with every contraction I kept asking the MW or DP to just make it all stop. And also annouced at the end of it that I am never doing that again. Had no pain relief at all as the stupid gas didn't work. And had a 25hr labour with 4 hrs of pushing. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: NewPhoenix
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 3:33pm
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. ------------- |
Posted By: JoJames
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 4:20pm
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Can't really remember it all, but do remember singing through the really tough contractions, the same song over and over again, (the happy song).
When the anaethitist was puttin in the epi I was sucking hard on the gas and asked "is it in yet?" They hadn't even started, then they couldn't get it in and kept saying "you're doing so well, not long now" I kept tellin them "you can't get it in can you?" very helpful. I really loved that gas. Very embarassing having 20 people see you naked before they do the c-section. And J was in SCBU for his first night and they bought him for feeds in the middle of the night and helped me latch on and helped hold the baby and I fell asleep. When I woke up suddenly I said "oh sorry" And the nurse said "no worries, he's been fed", She just held him up to my breast while I slept! ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: palomino
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 5:01pm
haha had so forgotten about that. when i got to theatre and everyone starting piling in i remember asking do i have to be naked? can i have the gown back on? |
JoJames wrote:Posted By: Kallie
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 9:01pm
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LOL! I have laughed so much reading this thread, i had a wee boy sleeping on my shoulder who kept opening his eyes and looking at me funny everytime i laughed- and it was alot!!
I dont really have any embarrasing stories but i remember being so out of it on gas (and loving it) that i thought i was so sneaky having the gas even when i wasnt having a contraction ,laughing to myself thinking i was so clever when obviously the MW could see when i was having one or not because i had the monitor on. She kept saying only take the gas during a contraction and i would say I AM! (what a liar!!) Oh and also while sucking on the gas i said to my mum and DH excitedly 'oh man theres a party in my head and you can't come' - and i was actually serious, DH still has me on about it! |
Posted By: MrsH23
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 9:24pm
Oh geez I can't even remember that!!!! Didn't even think I was nude to be honest! I can recall after having the Epidural that my leg kept slipping off the bed and i couldn't lift it up again. And at one point I was rubbing my thigh and I said to DH and my Mum "what is that, that I'm touching" and they laughed at me!!
I felt sorry for the recovery nurse tho, when the wheeled me in I was in shock pretty bad and said I needed a sick tub, unfortunately I didn't get to finish the sentence properly was not nice having to have someone clean you up like that!------------- Lisa mummy to Ryan http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 06 July 2009 at 9:39am
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Well I have had a few; I worked at the hospital I gave birth in, 3 times.
First time, thought it would be an easy delivery (as you do) but it turned out to be an emergency c/section, and after I go over that shock all I was worried about was the orderlies would see me naked (as I knew them) & I am sure some did. I was lying on the table, under the knife, vomiting, they had to hold a cup for me & I was on an angle so not to choke as they got baby out, I even fell asleep at some stage & was snoring, (so DH told me) lovely. Then there are the times when Dr’s that I saw everyday & talked to were suddenly looking at me from a different angle (ykwim). Hard to look them in the eye for awhile when I went back to work. Every labour I have been vomiting, had heaps of med staff in & out & 2 emergency c/sections & 1 normal & for that one I was the first one in the delivery suits that morning & the last one to deliver, the m/w I had was lovely she stayed past her shift just to meet my little one. Oh what we go through, lol.
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Posted By: SpecialK
Date Posted: 06 July 2009 at 1:40pm
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Oh this is brilliant!
I thought the whole labour lark was awful, and my poor ob had to put up with a lot... after my first internal I demanded to know how often he was going to be doing this coz it HURT! Then threatened to kick him while I was pushing. Then had a go at him while he was stitching me up because I could feel the needle pricks! |
Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 06 July 2009 at 2:00pm
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Oh goodness me :S
I had with me my DH, mum and MIL. DH, MIL and myself are Christian. Throughout a contraction, I swore blue murder, then spent the next few minutes apologizing to the MIL, who was just getting on with the knitting. I had too much gas, got very dizzy, and got very horny/lovey dovey with DH, then collapsed. I had an ambo transfer, hot paramedic would have seen my bits! My FIL came up to the hospital only an hour or two after Hollie was born. I was naked, with a pad between my legs and dressing gown draped over my shoulders. They made him carry me into the bathroom coz the epi hadn't worn off :( -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 06 July 2009 at 5:42pm
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Oooh, I just remembered another moment.
I was induced the night before. So after my mw had put the gel on my cervix I still had my dignity. I had a sheet over me when the hospital mw came in just to meet me and have a wee chat. We make a little bit of small talk then I notice her looking at DH, who is kindly holding my knickers up, panty-liner out, for me to put on. Gargh! I got all embarassed and grabbed them off him while blushing furiously. The mws both sort of looked at us like "well if you're embarassed by that, you wait until we see you in the morning..." It is amazing how the labour embarassments seemed so normal at the time. It's like you think this is the very very last part of the pregnancy so you had better make the most of being the centre of attention! Makes you act like a brat lol -------------
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Posted By: Leahsmummy
Date Posted: 06 July 2009 at 8:50pm
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Actually when i was in labour i was just about to jump in the bath and said to DH wat the hell im i going to wear?? (with the bathroom door closed so no one saw me naked ) ha hes like just get in naked, no f**ken way everyone will see me naked (we also had a back up mw) and then i was just like what the hell, so i jumped in naked at first i felt abit strange being naked in front of people other then my DH then i just didnt care.
Then when i was in the OR i was getting my epi put in well having 2 or 3 contractions at the same time pissing myself, and feeling like i was going to poo myself is well..... Oh my gosh so embarassing but it soo wasnt at the time.....-------------
Angel Baby Dec 09, We will love you forever. |
Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 06 July 2009 at 11:10pm
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Oh yes, why aren't they a little clearer and say whether or not you can go nakey in the baths/pools??
When I started labouring I was all alone at the hospital and the mw there told me to follow her to the birthing pool and I can play around in there all night. We got there and she was running it but it was quite deep already and she said I could get in when I wanted to. I hadn't brought anything with me and I didn't know whether to go nakey or go and get my togs. So I decided to just take my clothes off in front of her and see if she was alarmed lol. She wasn't. And before I started pushing they told me I need to pee and I couldn't move so I asked if I could just pee on the bed. Felt like such a normal question at the time, I would have been shocked if they said "no, there is a loo right there and 5 people who can help you get there". I couldn't pee with 2 midwives watching my widdling area anyway so had to have the catheder. Seriously, everytime I come back in to this thread I remember more moments! -------------
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 10:43am
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Hilarious!
Hmmm..... About 8 hours after the first dose of gel I was having what I thought were strong contractions. The hosp mw came into to check on me and montior Jakes HB and my contractions and do an internal. I begged her to tell me they were doing something cos they hurt and she said I still wasnt dilated but my cervix had thinned and I was doing a really good job breathing. 24 hours later they broke my waters and the real contractions started. They must have been laughing at my good breathing! I cringe thinking about that. DH rang is mum to let her know my waters had been broken and 3 hours later she rang his mobile to see what was happening. I was having a contraction at the time and shouted "Im having a effing baby what do the bloody think is happening" I think told my husband to get off the effing phone before I shoved it up his ****. The gas only worked for about 20 mins... I still think it ran out! While I was sitting on the bed waiting for epi to be put in I had a biiiiiggg contraction and did a big wee all over the bed. I was so embarrassed but my midwife told me it was ok and then told me off because I had pushed at the end of the contraction. I didnt do I said, my body did it. (I kinda did, thought it might help him get a move on, seemed like a good idea at the time). I had a gown on in recovery so not sure when they put that on..... I didnt even think about all those people seeing me naked. I was more concerned about them dropping me and apologising to them because I was so heavy. LOL, the things we say and do in labour! -------------   
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 4:04pm
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ROFLMAO these stories are so funny! Thankyou to whoever it was that started this thread coz I've been having a totally panicky couple of days wondering why the heck I decided to have another baby and have been thinking about all the awful things that could happen during labour lol this has reminded me that theres always a funny side! -------------
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Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 5:41pm
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Haha you're most welcome, thank you to everyone who shared their shame -------------
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 6:45pm
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LOL - I had about 15 people in there by the end - anyone was welcome to come and have a look as far as I was concerned as long as they got the bleeding baby OUT OF THERE ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: kriss
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 7:20pm
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Yes Amby, great thread!
These stories have made my day, though I don't have any to add unfortunately (or not so, hehehe) Keep em coming ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
Little Angel, April 10
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 10:22pm
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Also remembered a trainee mw who asked if I minded her observing. I responded cheerily "No problem, but dont think your gonna touch me" I am mortified at how rude I was to poor girl.
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Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 11:00pm
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You're all very welcome, I love all these stories!!
Melnel, I was 'breathing' through the gel cramps too. I even called DH back before midnight to stay with me and time my 'contractions'. Stupid gel. -------------
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Posted By: tropics
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 9:17am
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hahaha loving these stories!
Fliss I had the student doctor too - a guy as well about my age and quite good looking damn it! at one stage the midwife and ob went out of the room so I had DH on one leg and the Student Dr on the other talking about diving, fishing and other boys stuff I just thought to myself ohmi Im in the middle of labour pushing and your chatting about boys stuff looking at my fanny holding my legs!!!! of course they stopped talking and got to work when I said ah hello Im going to push! I also asked if I pooed but aparently I didnt - phew! I also remember seeing the ob between my legs after and this red string going up and down and up and down - took me a while to realise he was stiching me up! thank god for the epi! oh and the only word that came out of my mouth with each contraction was f**k - aparently Ive never said it so much before in my life ------------- http://lilypie.com">    [/url]
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Posted By: kiwikid
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 10:13am
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Oh crumbs I've only read this last page but I'm now seriously ditching the VBAC idea in favour of booking myself in for another c section!!!!! I can hardly remember any of my labour but I think it may have just been the starting of something scary and am fooling myself that I'd like to try and give birth 'properly'!!!!!
ETA - VBAC one day in the distant future! E2ndTA - Bhahahahaha some GREAT stories here, now I wish I could recall more of my experience ------------- 
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Posted By: AuntieSarah
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 10:41am
Lol I was the opposite, had a student midwife in there and after my epi my midwife asked if it was ok for the student to examine me (after the midwife had) I was pretty chirpy once the epi was in so it was "sure sure, I can't feel it, do whatever you like!" ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 10:43am
Me too with the student doctor - by then I had given up all dignity (though I later found out I did in fact have more dignity to lose). ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: DJ
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 12:59pm
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Haha thanks for the laughs!
My embarrassing moments don't really come close to some of these but I was on my knees in the birthing pool leaning over the edge and inhaling deeply on that lovely gas, and my mw asks me to move around to her so she can have a look - so I start to move my head around to her, and she is like "um, I'd like to see the other end..." DOH! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 1:07pm
Don't worry kiwikid, it's not embarassing until months later and by then your mw has left you so you never have to speak to her again lol. -------------
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 1:15pm
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I don't really have that embarassing moments but I do remember a couple of things now..
After at least an hour of pushing my mw said to me we will have this baby by lunch time (it was about 10:30am) and I told her to f**k off.. then she said how about 11 and I had to really bite my tongue not to go off my nut at her. He was born at 10:59. When I was having issues pushing Daniel out all these people piled into the room including the ob and I looked at her and asked how the hell she was going to help me when she was all banged up (she had a black eye and arm in a sling - some biking accident or something). Not so much embarassing but when I had my episotomy mw got the student mw to do it and then she said oh thats not big enough and I was absolutely mortified. I was absolutely scared about getting an episitomy to begin with let alone them having to have 2 goes at it. And I remember telling her I was scared about it and she asked me if I was scared to push him out and I told her not to be so stupid |
Posted By: BessieBear
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 3:31pm
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I've only read the first page. it's too much Ryans looking at me cause i'm bawling but cracking up at the same time. ------------- Sarah Mum to, Boy 07/2008, Girl 03/2010, Boy 05/2012, Angel 07/08/2014
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Posted By: kandk
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 7:46pm
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Not so much an embarrassing bnut funny - my Mum took me to the hospital as DH was still on his way. She pulled up outside the door and I told her she couldn't park there, go to the carpark. She said "Oh, okay, I'll just wait in the car then"! WTF? What did she think we were there for?? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 7:58pm
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Oh I love them all!!
I didn't mind the needles afterwards at all, MUCH nicer than a giant baby ripping its way out my hoohaa. Although I did freak out when the surgeon was poking around with my tear and said to my mw "I won't worry about using a local anesthetic, she's had an epidural..." I was like "WOOOOOAAAAAHHHHHH, that epi didn't do a THING lady, that poking stings like a bearch, give me the needles already!" I mean seriously, did they think I was hyperventilating during the birth just for dramatic effect? Ouchies. When I had the gas I kept telling everyone who came near me that my cheeks were fuzzy like velvet. -------------
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 8:29pm
ROFL. You have the best moments! Ah, episiotomies. Oh the delights. Day 6 and 7 of healing I swore I would never have a VB again. Didn't help that when my MW checked it (she'd missed the birth) she told it was about as big as you can get I *think* I know what she means but I never had the guts to ask.
And one thing I really like about this thread is that it's not the doom and gloom of labour is so painful etc, it shows that labour (and pooing and the recovery) is just one part of the journey and there are some funny moments in there. Don't know if I've explained myself very well - I just like having the different perspectives on it! ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: MonicaMouse
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 9:18pm
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Again not that embarrassing but kinda funny. I was wheeled into theatre at 3am from a delivery room and after they did the spinal, was more concerned about the fact that the camera had been left in the other room, and that the staff better cancel my induction planned for that day cos I didn't want a phone call at 9am asking where I was.
Also after having a bath up on the ante-natal ward and slowly walking back to my room for a VE told DH that if I had been in labour since 1am that morning (it was about 9:30pm at this time and I had no idea if I was in labour or not - just thought things were building up) that I better be more than 2cm....... turns out I was 8 - 9cm ------------- 
Blair 15/10/2007 Daniel 30/07/2009 |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 9:38pm
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I love this thread, it's too funny I can't stay out of it.
Really wish I had the gas that you guys had, mine did jack sh*t. Oh I remembered something I am embarrassed about now, it was about 8 hours after Spencer had been born (by c/s) and the mw came in to see if I wanted a shower, I couldn't stand up properly though so instead she decided I should have a strip wash at the sink, so not only did she help me wash which I now cringe about but also there was some blood on the bed so she got a cleaner to come in and they also saw me completely naked in all my just had a baby flabby bloody glory and poor Dh was holding onto Spencer so he got to watch the cleaner clean up the messy bed and me get stripped washed. I'm surprised after seeing that he came anywhere near me for us to end up with 2nd child. (the sink was in the room not in the shower/toilet cubicle bit by the way). This is a bit strange but I thought it was normal at the time, but after having Spencer it got to when one of his feeds was due and he wasn't interested so the mw just grabbed my boob and expressed some off into a syringe to feed him. I thought that was totally normal but I don't know anyone else who has had that happen to them.
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Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 10:51pm
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Hehe, that is kinda odd. I was alarmed when the hospital mw grabbed my boob and shoved it rather hard into Jody's mouth. Just after I had explained to her how SORE and SENSITIVE my boobs were -------------
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Posted By: kiwikid
Date Posted: 09 July 2009 at 12:29am
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I made DH talk through with me what he remembered of Hayden's birth last night - he was like 'why are you so interested in this right now', didnt have the heat to tell him I was keeping him awake to see if I had any funny moments I could contribute to an OB thread lol.
I do remember now when the anethistist came in to do my epi he was surprised I was able to chat and kept asking if I really wanted an Epidural and that I seemed to be doing really well, I remember laughing that it must be strange for him to give an epi to a woman in labour who didnt think he was god with the magic drugs (I had to have an epi cos I wasnt progressing and they thought it was cos I was too tense, well you go 17 days over due and spend 4 days in hospital waiting for your induction but put off every time cos there was someone in actually labour and no birthing room for you and see what it does to your stress levels!!!) The only slightly funny thing is when I was on the operating table to get my c section I was starting to panic a little bit and the anethitist said that I was all numb and ready to go and I kept saying / crying No no I dont think I'm numb enough I think I can feel something, he would say can you feel that and I'd say ummmmm maybe (in high unstable voice) so he put the liquid nitrogen on my ribs and I was like Ohhh that is cold I guess I am numb and he said yes definately the surgeon already has made her incisions, only a few more minutes and we'll be done. Oh and then after baby was out I started puking, our first family photos are inbetween me vomiting and i have puke all in my hair but they are my most treasured photos -------------
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Posted By: sarahm
Date Posted: 09 July 2009 at 8:15am
They did this with me too, at one stage I had the electric breast pump on one side and the on duty MW with the syringe on the other (.) ......and they had left the door to my room open which happened to be the first room at Birthcare that everyone walked past on their way to visit other people ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">
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Posted By: palomino
Date Posted: 09 July 2009 at 9:30am
| haha i also got expressed by the mw. i clicked a few days later that was the first time another woman had touched my boobs lol. |
Posted By: kiwikid
Date Posted: 09 July 2009 at 9:31am
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Oooh the nurses / MW's etc always asked me before they grabbed a boob to help with feeding (NHS hosp in Berkshire), some were more gentle than others but they always asked first - I think they forget sometimes that its the first time we've been in that situation even though they have done it thousands of times before. -------------
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Posted By: LeahandJoel
Date Posted: 09 July 2009 at 9:32am
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They are always really good about leaving the doors open for everybody to look in as they walk past......and we ALL look in the open doors don't we -------------
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Posted By: JoJames
Date Posted: 09 July 2009 at 9:43am
This totally happened to me the whole first day!- I was so knackered after my 24hr labour ending in a c-section that I didn't even think that it was weird, now I'm maybe thinking it was a little bit strange to have another woman squeezing your boobies ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com">
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Posted By: sally belly
Date Posted: 09 July 2009 at 10:43am
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I didn't think I had any embarrassing stories but some of your boobies stories have reminded me...
When my milk finally came in (I was still in hosp), my boobs were SO sore & lumpy. This crazy middle eastern MW offered to massage them & they were excruiating so I agreed. DH was in the room & probably felt more uncomfortable than I did (or maybe not!!! ). -------------    
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