Your recommended time to have a baby
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Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
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Topic: Your recommended time to have a baby
Posted By: Madiandmini
Subject: Your recommended time to have a baby
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 3:02pm
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Just wanna know what time people think is best for a baby to be born?
Want to time my 2nd one at a convenient time, but hubby and I are not sure when ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Replies:
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 3:59pm
| It's totally up to personal opinion really. I can't imagine being pregnant again for around another 3 years at LEAST, whereas some of the ladies already TTC have bubs who are less than 6 months old - it depends on what you want, what you can afford, how you want to work things etc. |
Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 4:11pm
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Exactly what I was gonna say. We aren't going to ttc until after our wedding in May 2011 as A) I want to be able to drink at my wedding (selfish yes I know) and B) We feel that its a good age gap for the kids and for us. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 7:33pm
november is a great time to have a baby... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Mum2ET
Date Posted: 03 July 2009 at 7:40pm
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were you asking about the gap between babies or the time of the year? Ella is a June baby and I loved having a baby at that time of the year- we could just stay inside where it was nice and warm and it meant I wasn't heavily pregnant in the hot weather. only downside was that our power bill shot up. ------------- Mum to Ella (5) and Tom (2) |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 7:15am
Summer baby then you don't have to worry about colds etc, & you don't need to buy as much stuff, or spend so much on heating.
I guess it depends on how long it took to fall pg the first time. For me it was a few months of not trying & for the second one it was a few years of trying, so I would answer your question with - anytime that you feel ready 
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Posted By: Madiandmini
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 7:32am
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The time of year. I think id like to have my babies similar in age, and so theyre both in school around the same time! I have a dec baby and im finding it hard since she is crawling to do interesting things with her.. Simple things like going to the park are difficult because of the weather. But with age gap I would love to hear others opinions ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Madiandmini
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 7:38am
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Jazzy - I found the same with my first but im now kind of put off by being stuck indoors while she is crawling.. But I guess the pro to that would be that in summer she wil be walking! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 7:48am
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Ideally, I would have liked an August/September baby... something about having a baby in spring appeals.
But I'm fast learning that this is one of thoese things over which you have no real control.  A slight illusion of control, perhaps, but unless you're willing to try only one or two months a year... I'll be thrilled to have a March bubba, if this happens to be our month.-------------   
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 7:56am
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DS1 was nearly 4 when we had DS2 (had m/c inbetween) it was a great age gap as I still got to spend heaps of time with DS1.
DS2 was 10mths when I was pg with DS3, (not planned was going to wait a bit), in the start I still had one on one time & time to myself when they were having sleeps, but it was hard work, now DS2 is 4 & DS3 is 3 they play together a lot, & fight but are good mates. It is full on, maybe a boy thing. At the moment I find kindy hard as DS3 wants to go but is too young, so we play for a while when dropping off DS2 but I want DS2 to make new friends without DS3 around. So in Dec DS2 will be 5 & go to school with DS1 who is 8, so I know he will be ok, & DS3 will start kindy & I will have some me time back. There are times when the ages don't work together & times when they do, if you want another then go for it. I have friends with very close ages & ones with big age gaps, & it all works for them, its what you make it. |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 8:00am
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I agree with Hopes, we have been trying for over 2 yrs for 1 more so I don't care when now, lol.
Try a baby music group, play centre or coffee groups (just barge in) good for you & baby, gets you out of the house, you get support & get new friends
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Posted By: Madiandmini
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 10:07am
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Your right! something does appeal about a spring bubba! I agree they do kinda come when they want but as dd wasnt planned for so soon in theory it shouldnt be too hard to conceive another. Well hopefully. The only thing about coffee groups etc is I get seriously discriminated. I am only 18 and often get frowned upon which really puts me off. I tried a young mum course but i couldnt bear the b***ching they done about every one. They were realy hard to get along with and i found them very immature. But then im not sure id fit into somewhere like a parent centre or play group..And thats purely because of my age ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 10:24am
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I have always like the idea of having a baby early spring, September October. It means you arent heavily pregnant over summer and in winter can just hide away at hom. With the weather getting warmer colds and that woundt be as much of an issue and hopefully over the hotter months of summer you still wont have to worry about chasing them around.
As for age gap - I loved my 2 year 8 months. Keira was still at home for the first few months which meant I never had to be out any where (kindy drop offs etc) and then when Maddi got to a stage where she was requiring more attention Keira started Kindy. Keira was old enough to be independent but then still young enough that her and Maddi can still play hapily together and get on pretty well (well most of the time ) ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 10:29am
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Oh and I was only really young when I had my first. Luckily I found an old friend from school with another kid and we found a nice playgroup together.
I have tried a few and totally understand feeling looked down upon because I am so young (and probably look younger) I could never do the 'teen' groups either - doesnt really give young mums a good name. Everyone thought we would have waited ages to have a second as I was still young but my theory was while I am dealing with babies/toddlers to just get it all out of the way, and by the time the girls are in school I am still young enough that I can then concentrate on getting a job/studying or whatever. -------------
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 12:19pm
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Plunket has a younger mums playgroup maybe try there?
We have really varied age of mums at our play group. So maybe try around the playgroups to find one like that? I have jan/feb babies and the crawling in the wet weather sucks but I guess it all depends on when they start crawling & progressing to walking. She didn't start walking until after the summer so that was a bit of a pain. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: ISpyCharlie
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 1:08pm
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I found being pregnant in summer o.k,but it was in 2006 and that summer wasn't as hot as it was like this years. And now I'm doing it all over again! I did have a friend who had a November bub and she found it hard to keep her bub cool,especially in hot cars. I think any season has its pros and cons! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Madiandmini
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 3:43pm
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I think maybe we shall just TTC and go from there! Might wait til after Sep however so i can enjoy this years bday! If only Taranaki had a young mums coffee group! I nearly begun a playgroup for young mums but Daizy you a right in that quite often you do find those young mums who give the rest of us a bad name. Someone once told me, and today i find it being a life motto, It doesn't matter whether you are 16 or 60 you are stil a new mum =)/FONT] ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: ButterflyMum
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 4:41pm
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Madiandme not sure what you consider young Mum, but I bet if we put our head's together we could find something in taranaki I prob don't fall in young but I do know alot of young Mum.s
As for best time to have baby after 2 winter's and one summer i am going to say summer is better Alan has been so much healthier then all my babies. So will be testing my theory in feb next year. Just read your other and I not sure about parent center or thing's like that maybe don't not tell them your age but go in as a just a a Mum and keep your age a little to yourself see what happen's I am not so much a young Mum, but never fitted into parent centre so I think its more of a like minded people then an age thing. There is a good playgroup down omata rd (not sure of the mix of ages there never been but planning to go wiht my girl) not sure where you live? there is a really really good one in bell block which has alot of mixed ages totally recommend it I went a few times with my first but had to stop as it was too hard to bus over. -------------  
 
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Posted By: angel4
Date Posted: 04 July 2009 at 5:50pm
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Was just reading cuz was curious about what everyone thought was a good age gap. We have a 10month old and am due in december but baby may come a month early as they dont think i am able to carry to term. So that will mean either a 15 or 16month age gap. It wasnt planned we were gonna wait a few more months before trying but we are both stoked. I'll let you know how it goes lol
I am also a 'young mum' -19. and am finding that people are being more judgemental this prengnacy - as if they think didnt we learn from our mistake. I also have the problem that i dont really fit with the young mum groups - i find them quite catty and they are all really into partying and getting their parents to babysit every weekend so they can drink etc. and i also find some other groups i dont have alot in common except our babies. I would really like to find a group with people of a similar age or even not the same age but open to the fact that young mums can be great mums too. |
Posted By: Madiandmini
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 12:17am
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Angel4- If only you were in Taranaki !! I also have the issue of nasty stares as im often looking after my 1yr nephew and other children. Im dreading what ppl wil think when I am pregnant with number 2. But my partner and I are steady, we can afford another baby, and would love another! So for me its really sad to see people discriminating us younger mums. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 7:21am
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I have a 17 month gap and was youngish when I had them (19 and 21). Its hard work at the start and you don't get a lot of sleep. Jack handled it really well and there wasn't too much trouble with jealousy. Its really paying off now they are 2 and 3. They play really well together and are both into the same things.
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Posted By: Madiandmini
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 8:43am
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That sounds good. Well DD is 6months now so that would make for a 15month gap..What kind of support did you have when your second was born? As I have just moved and don't really know many people. And i'm pretty sure I will be needing an extra hand! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Febgirl
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 10:12am
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On the season issue, I really liked having a newborn in January/Feb as the night wake ups and feeds are a lot easier to deal with when it's summer and warm than in the middle of winter. Warm days also make it easy to get out of the house and go for walks when bubs is unsettled. ------------- Two little girls under 2! 
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 10:38am
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My first was born in July and it was definitely an effort to keep things warm and my power bill made me cry lol my second is due next Feb so I'm hoping it'll be easier allround.
I didn't want my kids too close together coz a. I wanted to really be able to enjoy each stage and b. I wanted to be sure I didn't overload my body. I had hyperemesis with my first (violent vomitting for 9 months) and since I know I don't handle lack of sleep so good I wanted to make sure I didn't go from an exhausting pregnancy to sleepless nights to an exhausting pregnancy AND sleepless nights!! I know a couple of young mums (under 20) and one of them are lazy, selfish and I'm so sad for the life her kids will have, but I also know a young mum who has a wonderful husband and daughter and you wouldn't know shes only 19. Shes mature and cheerful and responsible and her hubby and daughter adore her. I really think its the attitude you have that defines you, not your age. -------------   
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Posted By: ellen
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 10:44am
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#1 May - hated it as it felt like the walls in my house were closing in on me as I had trouble getting out with baby due to the cold weather.
#2 October - loved it as the weather was improving and by the time summer came round we had good routines in place. Also carried through winter. #3 January - OK but too hot to be nursing a baby - felt like I had a hot water bottle on me. Gap between #1 and #2 is 3 and a bit years and #2 and #3 is 2 and a bit years. Both had pros and cons really but like some others we took longer to conceive #2 so sometimes you just can't "plan" it. |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 5:58pm
I used to stay at my parents for one night a week and I had playgroup that we went to. I think something like playcentre would be great if you didn't have heaps of support. Your DD would be settled in before baby arrives and then you can go along when you feel like crap and all the other Mums can help out with your DD or baby. |
Madiandme wrote:Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 6:26pm
| I haven't had these two yet, but I'm finding being more heavily pregnant over winter great, because I'm so freaking hot!! I sweat through the nights and our house isn't exactly warm!! I don't think I would be able to do it in summer. |
Posted By: Madiandmini
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 7:35pm
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Lots of great ideas there guys! Rachandjack- I think thats a brilliant idea! I do have my dad down here. I think you've all talked me into braving a local playgroup. Of course I will post my experience. Babe- When I was trying out the young mum course I found myself pitying some of the children there as there mothers seemingly dumped them on friends and family just to get drunk! Others just plain disrespected their children often neglecting simple needs. These are the ones that give the bad name to the rest of us! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: NovemberMum
Date Posted: 05 July 2009 at 11:52pm
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we will have a 2 year age gap here originally I wanted to start trying when Megan was around 9 months but my husband felt it was too soon...
Megan was born at the end of spring this baby is due at the beginning of summer. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: ButterflyMum
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 10:23pm
Oh let us know what one you try would love to know how you get on. -------------
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Posted By: Madiandmini
Date Posted: 09 July 2009 at 6:39pm
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I'm trying te south Taranaki Parents centre. They have a young mums group there so i'm gonna brave that!!
And if I enjoy that (hopefully) I may also join the usual playgroups too. They also have a committee thing too so might even go that far if I enjoy it.. Fingers crossed!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 09 July 2009 at 9:40pm
We had a summer baby and it was horrible - 35+ degree days in 2008, we really struggled to keep him cool. Plus the last thing you want to do is hold a sweaty newborn all day! I hated being pg over Xmas too, I soaked my feet (which were so swollen) in buckets of ice cold water all day long and just sweated like a pig 
This time around will be an end of winter baby which I'm looking forward to. Will be up enough that I'll be able to keep the fire going 24 hours so thats good. And by the time I'm ready to get back into normal life, the days will be getting longer and the mornings lighter
Oh and a 19/20 month age gap, which I'm hoping will be great down the track. |