I wish someone had told me that......
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=27370
Printed Date: 23 August 2025 at 8:21pm
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Topic: I wish someone had told me that......
Posted By: MrsH
Subject: I wish someone had told me that......
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 4:46pm
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I thought a topic like this would be handy for those expecting (either for the first time or second or whatever).....
I'll go first...... I wish someone had told me that: 1) In the first two or three days after giving birth, your baby will probably want to feed constantly so you not only have to prepare for the marathon of birth, you need to prepare for this. [I was breastfeeding and wasn't told and thought that my son wasn't getting enough milk - luckily a mw told me that I was actually doing it right and that this was how it was supposed to be otherwise I would have succumbed to formula). 2) As the baby approachs the 4000 gram mark (and/or the two week mark) they will likely have a growth spurt and may want to feed hourly for a day or so (up to 72 hours). 3) After birth, you need to empty your bladder very regularly. A full bladder can cause your uterus to relax and start bleeding again which could lead to even heavier bleeding (or haemorrage). Who's next? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Replies:
Posted By: LadyLizard
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 6:06pm
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I wish someone had told me how bad heartburn can be during pregnancy!
Its driving me nuts. ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 6:24pm
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I wish someone had told me I was going to have a premature baby at 26 weeks!
I wish someone had told me that most women get baby blues or depression after child birth I wish someone had told me to make lots of muffin or snacks and have in the freezer for when I was breast feeding! - pull one out before its needed and you have a snack while your feeding |
Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 6:28pm
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i wish someone had told me that even if you had a really easy 4 hour birth and no stitches it still really hurts to pee! ------------- 
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Posted By: rachelsea
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 6:40pm
ditto! I kept a jar next to the loo and had to splash myself with cold water every time I went to the loo for the first 2 weeks after giving birth 
I also wish someone had told me that even though you know someone who's baby slept through the night from 4 weeks, your baby won't necessarily do the same! ------------- DD 4yrs DS 2yrs http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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monikah wrote:Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 6:43pm
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Posted By: angel4
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 6:52pm
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I wish someone had told me ......
that birth can be a wonderful experience. It was hard work but i enjoyed it  Everyone told me horror stories (hello!! not that helpful when im already pregnant).
that once your pregnant your body is public property and its even worse once your baby is born - everyone is an expert on how to raise a child (even your 12year old brother) that you will bleed after birth - FOR AGES!!!!! i was expecting a normal period - thats it lol |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 6:53pm
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I wish someone had told me how hard it was going to be...awesome and rewarding but hard..and how I wouldn't get a full nights sleep(cause of doing every single wakeup) for 7 months..lol:)
and I wish i had been told about c-sections esp emergency ones! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 6:57pm
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I just wish my DH knew how to cook! or that someone had cooked for us. We didnt have a deep freezer so i couldnt have prepared any meals prior. I found it incredibly hard to try and prepare dinner with a newborn, who would have to be fed sometimes in the middle of cooking tea. I had to switch everything off!
Oooh, and just because your baby is sleeping through, doesnt mean things wont change! Jackson slept through from 6 weeks but at 3 months he decided to wake every 2 hours, and it went on for about 2 months. Ohh and i wish someone had told me that peeing in the shower, with your hands on the ground and your butt in the air, is a much better way of peeing after birth than sitting on the toilet splashing water. I used a jug of water straight after having jackson and OMG, it hurt sooo bad! Even with the water. so i held on and sat in bed worrying about how i would pee. Then I tried the "*ss in the air" thing and it made the pee go the opposite way. I even remember dancing on the way out and announcing to DH i finally went wees, lol. |
Posted By: Febgirl
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 7:03pm
On the topic of peeing after birth, stock up on Ural sachets (you can buy it from the chemist) - pour it into everything you drink and it neutralises the stingy-ness of peeing.  ------------- Two little girls under 2! 
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Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 7:33pm
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I wish someone had told me that just because I managed to do something right or wrong with my first baby, that it doesnt neccessarily work that way with ALL your kids! (B slept through from day 3, whereas we are just starting to get a decent sleep at night now.)
Oh and that while Breastfeeding may be the 'natural' way of doing it, it feels far from natural, its a lot of hard work and takes perseverance to make it work ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 7:49pm
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I wish somebody had told me that hypnobirthing would get me through 9 days of labour, and I'd still have to have a c-section!
I wish somebody had told me that breastfeeding starts off hard, becomes torture, and then just gets easier and easier. I wish somebody had told me not to take voltaren at lunchtime, because taking it at midnight without food makes you constipated and just wrecks your stomach. I wish somebody had told me that I may not get to hold my baby after birth. I wish somebody told me that no matter how prepared you think you are, nothing compares to the love you feel for your beutiful child (but you might not feel right away) ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 9:44pm
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I wish someone had told me how having an emergency C-Secton would affect me emotionally.
I wish somebody had told me to demand to see my baby ASAP after he was born. His first AGPAR was 8 and they still kept him from me for 30 minutes, I wish someone had told me that your body liquids increase so much... I dont even want to know how much I spent on panty liners!!! Ewwww. I wish someone had told me that as wonderful as it is to be pregnant, overall its quite unpleasant on a day to day basis.. I wish someone had told me that to say goodbye to my bump, its amazing how much you miss something that gave you so much grief. -------------   
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 9:48pm
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Oh, and I wish someone had told me that just because I didnt vomit in the first trimester does not mean that I wont suddenly start vomiting in the third trimester! -------------
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 07 July 2009 at 9:57pm
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i wish someone had made me eat more when breastfeeding - and that someone had made me lunch too. ( i ate barely a thing and then wondered why i had milk issues)
I wish someone had told me that just cause i decided my child would do this or that, doesn't mean they actually will (actually i may remember a conversation with my midwife about this - i told her my child would be sleeping through the night by 3 weeks - i even counted it down) i wish someone had told me that having two children doesn't mean you divide up the love - more like double it (i stressed majorly about not loving Jake as much once Taine came) i wish someone had said that just cause you have two kids, by the same dad, doesn't mean they are the same kid. J and T are sooooo different - temperaments and likes/dislikes. i forget sometimes. i wish someone had told me more about cloth nappies when i was with jake. i had visions of using flat ones when i was pregnant, but that's all they turned out to be. |
Posted By: LouD
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 8:48am
| I wish someone wouldve told me that my stomach would be soooo stretched after my first one that any other pregnancy would not result in a nice baby bump that I could show off, instead i try to hide it in embarassment and I didnt even take any nice pics of my first baby bump to look back on to see what I would look like with a normal bump.........Its very depressing!!!!! |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 9:31am
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Im gonna be different lol and say, I wish people hadnt told me so much about labour and birth, as it only scared the crap out of me more lol!!
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 9:39am
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I wish someone would've told me that constant non-stop vomiting in my first pregnancy was NOT normal
I wish someone would've told me that epidurals weren't that scary I wish someone had told me about nipple shields and how wonderful they are I wish someone had told me that getting pregnant with a second child brings up a whole lot of issues like will my first baby feel leftout and will I still be a good mother and omg what happens if everything goes wrong I wish someone could reassure me that I'll be connected to both my children and the guilt over my first won't cause favouritism  -------------   
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Posted By: surfergirl
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 10:11am
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I wish someone had told me that even after the first 12 weeks that you keep worrying. I wish someone had told me you might not get the 'glow' - just zits. I wish someone had told me flying long haul while pregnant is bad. Really bad.
------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 2:08pm
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I wish someone told me that inductions can take 4 days to work, and even then they don't always work
I wish someone had warned me that I might not be able to move to pick up my child for a day after he was born I wish someone had told me that my stomach wouldn't instantly shrink and that it's quite normal for the tummy to stay and it's OK I wish someone had told me how incredibly cool it is when you first feel your baby kick - this little secret thing between you and your baby till it gets strong enough for DH to feel I wish someone told me it's OK to vomit in the shower and it's better out than in ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: Twinboys2b
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 4:37pm
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- I wish someone had told me to pay attention when learning about natural birth and that you can have a natural birth with TTTS.
- I wish someone had told me that Epidural's arn't that bad, and sometimes they can numb absoluteley everything so you don't even feel contractions - I wish someone had told me that I may not hold one of my boys for 3 days after birth - I wish someone had told me that I could have got a picture of my boys to look at while I was in hopsital & boys in NICU - I wish someone had told me to enjoy my body while parts were still flat & firm & pert - I wish someone had told me stretch marks are genetic - I wish someone had told me how much fun twins are to have!!! ------------- 3yr old gorgeous ID twin boys. |
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 4:53pm
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* I wish someone had told me that yes multiple pregnancys DO happen lol
* I wish someone had told me before day 4 of my hospital stay after c-section that I could ask for someone to take the twins out of the room for a few hours so I could finally get more then 20mins of sleep! * I wish someone had told me earlier that I didn't HAVE to breastfeed * I wish more people had shared positive twin or birth stories while I was pregnant I had such a warped view of what being a Mum would be like. When the actual fact is it's the most rewarding thing I will ever do and the good stuff always outweighs the hard stuff by a freakin' mile! -------------  
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: JoJames
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 8:03pm
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I also wish someone told me to just feed and feed constantly (like my sister was told) in the first couple of days cause I thought there was something wrong with me.
I wish someone had told me not to read too much about what your baby should or should be doing. I wish someone told me to just go with the flow and hang on for the first few weeks, because they pass quickly and it all becomes easier. ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 8:10pm
Those 'I wish'es were made for me lol. I also wish I was told that new babies are kinda stinky, purple and mucusy, not like tv/movie babies. And yes, like most of us, I wish I was told not to worry so much about bonding (or lack of it) in those early weeks. It's nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about. You just met this kid, it hardly even looks at you until about 4-6 weeks. Then eventually you melt  and fall in love over and over and over again-------------   
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 8:50pm
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One more ...
I wish I had told the hospital MWs to bugger off and take Daniel with them when he was screaming at 3am. You need your sleep after baby producing and an hour or two of sleep at 3am is essential ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 08 July 2009 at 9:11pm
Esther I agree about the zits - I have had terrible skin both pregnancies 
I wish someone had told me that you can gain 15-20kg of fluid like I did - I couldn't even fit shoes for my graduation and had to wear jandals to the event
I wish someone had told me that its OK not to want your baby around all the time - Jack was so mucousy after birth (they didn't clear his airways properly) that he did nothing but scream and suck unsuccessfully for the first day and I was told 'oh that's normal' then finally told by one midwife that it wasn't and she took him away - AFTER I nearly dropped him off the bed because I couldn't stay awake and had pleaded with them to take him for an hour. I wish someone had told me I needed to get onto a midwife ASAP - I was under the specialist and they just assumed I knew that - well at 12/13 weeks it's quite difficult to find a midwife when you're due at New Years - I finally took the 20th one I called and I hated her with a passion (and eventually complained about her as she yelled at me during labour etc) I wish someone had told me that even though you can hate being pregnant (which I do) you can also miss it - god its so much easier having them in there than out 
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Posted By: skp
Date Posted: 09 July 2009 at 11:17am
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I wish someone had told me that no matter how much oil and cream I can rub onto my belly stretch marks are genetic and there is not much you can do about it.
I wish someone had told me no to drink when TTC as it has riddled me with guilt for the last 9 months that I drank not knowing I was pg. I wish someone had told me we could have a homebirth for this baby (no.1) and that lots of women have their first babies at home with no problems ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 09 July 2009 at 9:27pm
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skp - to put your mind at ease a bit, I was reassured by 2 midwives now and a specialist that in the first few weeks of pregnancy (I forget how many, more than 5 I know anyway) nothing like alcohol can actually be passed to baby as they're not actually attached to your supply if that makes sense. So if you found out you were pregnant in the first few weeks like most people do and didn't drink after that, it's all good
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Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 09 July 2009 at 10:14pm
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emz - that is good to know! Bailey was conceived on our wedding night so was constantly feeling bad cause the weeks leading up to the pt I was drinking!
I had major guilt over it |
Posted By: skp
Date Posted: 10 July 2009 at 12:39am
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Thanks emz, I think I found out I was pg at about 4wks (14days past ovu) so good to know for sure, but I still have learnt a lesson I don't want to ever worry about all that for another pregnancy.
------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Mum_mum
Date Posted: 10 July 2009 at 10:08am
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I've learnt that when buying expensive egg maternity jeans, you should always buy a little bigger. Unfortunatly the jeans i brought at 15 weeks pregnant are rather tight now and i was pretty naive thinking that i wasnt going to put weight on my butt or thighs lol! They will NOT last me till 40 weeks like the sales lady said! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
 Angel baby - May 2008
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Posted By: rachndean
Date Posted: 10 July 2009 at 1:08pm
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I wish that someone had told me that you would spend most of your pregnancy having your body size discussed publicly!!
I wish that someone had told me that you might poo everywhere when giving birth, and even if you dont care at the time you will still be embarrased by it 10 months later! I wish someone had told me how INSANE your hormones are, and that they will never be the same again. I wish someone had told me about baby brain, that graduates to nappy brain, to toddler brain, and so on and so on!! 
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 12 July 2009 at 9:56pm
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I wish someone had told me that it didn't matter if I didn't bond at all with my baby when I was pregnant I could still bond with her on sight when she came out (via sunroof).
I second wishing someone had told me that you can get MS in the third trimester 
I wish someone had told me that PND can creep up slowly so you don't notice rather than the textbook sudden change that they tell you to look for in Antenatal classes. I wish someone had told me to shave myself at home prior to my C-sect because despite the letter saying the hospital would do it my DH had to with only a curtain around us for privacy (and a very noisy electric shaver) I wish someone had told me that Antenatal classes focus very heavily on 'natural births' to the extent where they almost try and scare you into not having drugs which I think was very unfair - especially to the 5 other women in my group who were mentally prepared only for natural low intervention births and ended up with emergency C's. I really wish someone had told me how horribly uncomfortable that first poo would be especially with Voltaren giving me stomach cramps. -------------  
 
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Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 18 January 2010 at 3:44pm
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And another one. Bumpety bump ------------- 
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: Flutterby
Date Posted: 18 January 2010 at 4:51pm
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I wish someone had told me how sore I would be 'down there' for weeks after the birth.
I wish someone had told me that contractions are 100 time worse then the worse period cramps. I wish someone had told me to have some nipple cream on stand by cause BFing hurts till your milk comes in proberly. And I wish that someone had helped me get cleaned up proberly after the birth. And I wish that the hospital had better meals for vegetarians. I was starving after not eating for 24 hrs and had to wait till breakfast for food. now the opposite, One good thing a friend told me was to make sure I had a glass of water beside me when BFing. And I read a heap of birth stories and all the info I could find on the subject so that I knew what was going on and what the MW was talking about. The first night I was in hospital I got told off by one of the nurses for feeding DS heaps. I had him in bed with me and was just feeding him often. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: rorylex
Date Posted: 20 January 2010 at 2:36pm
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i wish someone had told me that even my maternity clothes wont fit near the end of preg.
i wish someone told me the best edd to go by is the latest one given, i have the 10th which mw is going by and the 18th which i now wish i had stuck with coz then instead of thinking im 10days over due i would only be 2days overdue. wish someone had told me b4 i had ds1 that even if baby is latching correctly etc i does so hurt like 1000 needles stabbing u at once. i got told at antenatal classes that if latch is correct then it shouldnt hurt. load of BS oh and u think u have mastered breastfeeding at day 2, what they dont tell u is at day 3 or 4 when milk comes in u and baby have to master it all over again. which is why they say to stay in til milk comes in. not every brand of nappy is suited to every baby. my 1st baby could wear any brand of nappy with out leaks. my 2nd however had long skinny legs and i found every brand except huggies leaked (with in 30mins) which was the one brand i hadnt stocked up on. i wish someone had told me that compared to preschoolers newborns are easy. never figured that one out til i had a 2 and 3yr old, then had a newborn. in the hospital with just the newborn felt soo different to having the 2 preschoolers. it felt like i just did nothing the whole 24hrs i was there lol. couldnt wait to get home to my non stop kids. ------------- Mummy to 4 boys Samuel - 18.6.05 Rory - 15.7.06 Mason - 13.06.08 Emmett - 24.01.10 Baby #5 - cooking |
Posted By: magoogoo
Date Posted: 21 January 2010 at 8:21pm
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I wish someone had told me that if you are in so much pain you can hardly function after a c-section that you can demand better pain relief!
I wish I had been far more strict with limiting visitors. It's amazing how many people want to ambush you in hospital and on you 1st few days at home then you don't hear from them again! I will be very picky this time so that we can bond as a family. I wish I was warned that not all hospital midwives on the ward are helpful or even nice. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: rorylex
Date Posted: 23 January 2010 at 4:40pm
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also wish id been told that just becoz u manage to have 3 straight forward natural births doesnt mean the 4th will be.
having to be induced tomorrow coz baby is happy to stay put ------------- Mummy to 4 boys Samuel - 18.6.05 Rory - 15.7.06 Mason - 13.06.08 Emmett - 24.01.10 Baby #5 - cooking |
Posted By: RinTinTin
Date Posted: 25 January 2010 at 8:38pm
I wish someone would tell my MIL this! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 25 January 2010 at 9:48pm
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I wish someone had told me that even though you can hate being pregnant (which I do) you can also miss it - god its so much easier having them in there than out [/QUOTE]
Haha - love it I wish my pregnancies would hurry up so I can meet my babes, but yes totally agree with you I wish I hadnt read some of the things on here though as this time I want a VBAC!!! Im glad no one could tell me what being a mum was really like, the first kiss , the first smile and the first giggle - its all such an incredible undescribable surprise ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: 0mrs0ana0
Date Posted: 27 January 2010 at 6:12pm
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I wish someone had told me the urge to pee every hour is there the instant you're pregnant!
And that you wouldn't fit your bra almost straight away! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
May 2012
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