Ways to cope while DH is away
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=27435
Printed Date: 14 October 2025 at 11:49am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Ways to cope while DH is away
Posted By: BeLoved
Subject: Ways to cope while DH is away
Date Posted: 12 July 2009 at 5:28pm
|
My DH is going to be away for a long period of time - 2 months possibly more, as yet I don't know when he will be back. Its for his job which is professional sport. We have spent long periods of time apart before, the most being 6 weeks when I was pregnant (5 months when we first got together 7 years ago but thats a bit different) and smaller 2 weeks stints when DD was a newborn.
Anyway I was just wondering if anyone has any good tips on how to cope/survive without your DH/DP especially when you have a little one. I am going to try and keep myself "busy" as everyone keeps telling me I should, although the crap weather may have other ideas. I have a supportive family, but they are all under various stresses at the moment and my IL's drive me bonkers so I will be trying to steer clear of them as much as possible, plus all my friends live overseas and I don't belong to a coffee group. I dread the downtime when I am home at night and we would normally be cuddled up on the couch or cooking dinner together. I also feel worried about how/if it will affect DD not seeing her Daddy for so long, we have got SKYPE set up and webcams so hopefully that will suffice. Sorry for the "woe is me" post but I think I just needed to get it out. Any tips or words of wisdom would be much appreciated. TIA ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
|
Replies:
Posted By: sadie
Date Posted: 12 July 2009 at 5:57pm
|
I've just finished a three month stint on my own whilst DH started his new job in another town. Admittedly he did come home for weekends, so not quite as extreme as your situation.
Initially I was DREADING it. I am pretty lazy, and love to handover when he gets home so I can have a break. In reality though, it was nowhere as bad as I was expecting. I think as I knew I was on my own, I just got on with things. Sounds cliched, and you have already mentioned it, but the key is to definitely keep as busy as you can. I made plans for every day - whether being coffee / lunch with friends, or just a trip to the mall. We went to places like Chipmunks on our own, and always found nice people to chat to. How about joining a playgroup? Whereabouts are you? I'm sure there are some people on here who would be more than happy to meet up with you for a sanity playdate. I also have a friend who's DH is a professional sportsman so he is away a lot. She has a lot of support from her mum and friends which keeps her sane. There are a few people on here who have partners in the forces etc, so I'm sure you will get lots of brilliant advice. Best of luck xx |
Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 13 July 2009 at 12:41pm
|
I am going to be watching this as my DP may be going away for three months as he is trying to get into the police.
We have talked about using bestmate on our cells and maybe him getting a laptop or something to take away so we can video chat and he can see the kids. It is a long way off for us and not a definite yet but it sure is a scarey thought! Do you have family and freinds around who can help? |
Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 13 July 2009 at 12:43pm
| Maybe get a very time consuming hobbie as well :) |
Posted By: sally belly
Date Posted: 13 July 2009 at 1:51pm
|
My DH is in the navy & we've been pretty lucky in that he's mostly been on base since Liam was born. However he is going back to sea from the end of this month so I will be solo-ing it for a while too.
I agree that the key is to keep busy & make plans as much as you can. I find that Liam & I get cabin fever if we don't go out very often. Skype is a great idea. I'm sure your daughter won't forget her Daddy 
Sorry that is probably not much help. I'm not really sure what I do to cope - I just do because I have to! Hopefully emz will see this post as she'll have some good advice for you. -------------    
|
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 13 July 2009 at 7:00pm
|
Been there done that (look at my post count). My DH was in the army last year (got out early this year due to medical reasons) and I did 6 months last year by myself. A lot of the woman on here kept me going. I actually quite enjoyed it being by myself, really looked forward to the mail (we snail mailed everything) and the phone calls when he was allowed them. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 13 July 2009 at 8:39pm
How to cope? Hmm you just do unfortunately whether you want to or not!
My Dh is in the army, has been away since May. we've done the 6 months stints etc but this has been the hardest time of my life being pregnant and having a sick toddler (Jack has been in and out of hospital) as well as DH having a breakdown and leaving (luckily we're working on things and that doesn't look like it'll be happening). Anyway... usually I get into crafts etc, like painting (I'm not artistic, but sometimes I trace drawings, paint them up and sell them on TM), come on OhBaby lol, do baking, and also usually make a point of catching up with someone I haven't seen in a while (usually someone different every week - something to look forward to). If you can use Skype that's awesome. Lucky for your wee one. We talk on the phone so Jack 'talks' to his dad about once a week, but yep its hard if they realise their dad's not there at such a young age (Jack throws a tanty when he sees his father isn't in bed in the morning etc). I guess being the age Heidi is, she won't really know too much of what's going on, which will probably be good for you to cope, hard for your DH though. DH was away for a few stints of 3-4 weeks last year and Jack never really changed his habits/routine too much, it wasn't until this time around that things went haywire. But that was also to do with the fact that I couldn't function let alone be a good mum so I think you should be fine 
Um... what else? Pull in all the support around you. Don't ever say no to help or to someone giving you a break from your daughter (you'll probably need one). It's hard not having a sleep in to look forward to, and not having adult conversation. A lot of us forces mummies have gone through it all though so at least you know you're not alone and if you ever want to chat, you know where to find us
|
Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 13 July 2009 at 9:29pm
|
Thanks so much for your advice ladies! It is very much appreciated. DH left this morning and I think the 1st few days are always the hardest.
I am going to do a album/scrapbook of all our travel photos etc. and also think I might try sewing a quilt. I also have a few good books to read so I am going to do that and also get out some of the girlie DVD's I have wanted to see but DH won't watch. In regards to keeping busy outside of the home I will be making sure I catch up with some old friends I have not seen in awhile and making the most of any fine days there are (would like to be a little thinner before DH gets back LOL!) so lots of walks etc. Thanks again, I guess its nice to know that I am not the only one who is doing/done this. I am sure you will be seeing me around here more often over the next couple of months! ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">
|