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cant or dont want to!

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Topic: cant or dont want to!
Posted By: Bizzy
Subject: cant or dont want to!
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 10:03am
i keep hearing about people who cant afford to buy clothes or toys for their kids and cant help wondering in these days of cheap "junk" shops and wider choices wether it is more a case of dont want to have to buy these things or cant afford to.

i have seen kids shoes for less than the price of a pack of ciggies in some of the shops in my area and it makes me wonder ...   

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Replies:
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 10:18am
ditto.

The one thing that irks me is you go up town and mums (of any age) are all dolled up, make up, cellphones, ciggies, new clothes, obviously have been to hairdressers to have dye and foils and cuts, and then their kids are barely dressed, look freezing cold, no covers, no hats or jackets or even shoes. that gets me really angry.

priorities sometimes are not quite how they should be.

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Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja



Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 10:23am
I agree! I see so many babies/kids under dressed in this freezing weather while they sit in their prams waiting for Mum or Dad to finish their ciggie outside the shops, I am sure you could pick up a hat, blanket or jacket for less than the price of a packet of ciggies.

I always knew that when I had kids my priorities would change and that their needs would come first, I guess some people just think very differently to others when it comes to these sorts of things.

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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 10:26am
This is a big gripe of mine. These people need to get their priorities straight, there is no reason why a child should have to go without the necessities in NZ. I am annoyed that KidsCan is the charity for Telethon as the only reason why this organisation is needed is because of useless parents. I am sick of the ads about children walking to school with no shoes and no jacket! Why should I have to give money to other people's kids??? If they can't look after them properly then they should be taken off them.


Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 10:30am
kids can makes me laugh too. my niece and nephew attend one of the schools that benefitted from the jackets they gave out - and i know they could afford to buy their own. they also get the fruit in schools, and so much goes to waste cause the kids dont eat or want fruit anyway. my nephew wont wear his shoes to school, and the school doesnt care, so i wonder how many of the other kids without shoes have them too but just dont want to wear them.

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Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 10:33am
It bugs me too when walking along the street and there are people with signs that say "Homeless and Hungry" or "No money to get back to Auckland". And they are standing or sitting there smoking. I mean ARGH!

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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 10:33am
Devil's advocate here.....LittleSal that's a huge generalisation, and a wee bit harsh!! Yes there are parents who have their priorities completely up the stuff, but then there are also parents who are doing the best that they can with what they have - some people genuinely need the help, and through no fault of their own.

I do agree re. the parents etc whose priorities are completely wrong - IMO when you have kids then they become your number one priority over anything else like hair/smokes etc.


Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 10:39am
I would have to disagree Minik8e, that is what social welfare is for. If there are families who are doing so badly that they can't feed or clothe their children then the government need to take a good hard look at themselves and be readdressing the social welfare system.


Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 10:45am
Yeah but people have been saying that for years - benefits have hardly gone up whereas the cost of living has. I'm merely saying that sometimes people do all that they can and still struggle - WINZ doesn't necessarily always help, especially as they don't volunteer information about entitlements - you have to ask the right questions to find out what you're entitled to a lot of the time.


Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 10:58am
I think that no matter how hard up you are and no matter what your circumstances, you can dress you child in warm clothes, even if its layers over layers and a hat.

The problem is that some parents needs seem to surpass the childs and a lot of those relate to addictions to nicotine, alcohol and gambling and even people who are not hard up make decisions where they put these needs/addictions first. Most likely those same adults were neglected to a degree when they were young and so the vicious cycle continues.


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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 11:38am
Originally posted by HeidisMum HeidisMum wrote:

Most likely those same adults were neglected to a degree when they were young and so the vicious cycle continues.


I agree.



Posted By: rachndean
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 11:49am
I have to agree too. We live in a country where every person is entitled to financial assistance. It annoys me that people say they cant afford to live where they do, yet they shoose to live there rather than move to somewhere with lower living costs.
I think that more administration needs to be taked over the welfare system, and alot of welfares should be paid in vouchers rather than cash.
I am definitely frustrated when I hear what percentage of our taxes go back into benefits, yet there are still people who cant manage to clothe their kids properly!!! ARGH


Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 11:58am
I regularly donate clothes to our local plunket branch and to st army. Plunket give them away for free and for a few $ you can get decent warm stuff from charity shops, have also seen warm blankets for as little as $4 from the Warehouse.
So yeah I agree- there is no excuse for kids not having warm stuff.


Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 12:04pm
I agree with you Kate, in that it was a bit overgeneralised...cos there really are some out there that no matter what they do, they can't seem to get ahead.. a few years ago we were almost definately in that group.

i do know that when i was first back at study after having PAris, despite mike working and despite ird and all that, we had barely 50cents to rub together after our essentail bills were paid, but that did include food.

It definately can be hard but it's about having the knowledge to look and find ways... we have a heap of second hand places in our town with lovely volunteer ladies that actually knit new stuff to sell in the shops, I got Paris some lovely winter woolen jearseys for $4 the other day and babies and little toddlies stuff for much cheaper.

I do think the kids can thing does have merits in that there seriously are some kids that are disadvantaged because of how their parents or family situation is, and we do need to put back inot the community to ensure that the generation coming up after us has provisions to get education and be heatlhy.     

The main thing that irks me, as said above, is when you can outwardly see the parents have enough money for smokes, and new stuff for themselves but not for their kids.....

Kellz, I do the same here.... when PAris was little, alot of her stuff was bought by my mum or my sister as they spoilt her, and i was ever so grateful of that.. alot more came from nursing friends with older kids who had grown out of stuff, so i do that now too, handing things down to others who i know can use them and donating alot to the plunket and charitys once my girls have finished with them.

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Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja



Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 12:54pm
Yeah we are very fortunate that MIL buys the majority of Islas clothes, and she has sooo many. Im always giving stuff she has outgrown to friends, then the rest goes to charity! Mum always did the same with our stuff when we were kids, I remeber helping her to package up and post my old clothes to a lady she knew in Tauranga.


Posted By: Chickaboo
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 1:26pm
I was at the warehouse the other week and saw kids shoes for like less than $5 and it made me think (as you all have) how can kids go without shoes with those prices - for new shoes!

Now there are kids like my Miss 9 year old who have perfectly good shoes in her school bag and walks home without them on - in winter - that makesme made - not cause people will think we can't afford them but because she should wear them!

and like alot of you - I sorted out our clothes the other monthand gave them all to the sallies - some with the tags still on (yes I admit it - total impluse buying on my part) If my friends don't want them they go to the sallies (or clothes bin somewhere)

What we need to have over here (unless they do in bigger centres) is CAr Boots - over in the uk they have huge ones and you pick up real bargains not only on clothes but everything toys, kitchen and household stufff most things you can get there.
I would love it if they did it here and often thought of planning my own one - Garage sales are ok ut can be a pain going from one house to the other that I just don't go... anyhow getting a wee bit OT and lost in my thoughts but there are things that would help people other than going to WINZ

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Posted By: Glow
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 1:29pm
In some instances yes there will be those who cant afford to clothe or feed their kids, and due to the currrent economic state that number is increasing..
And then there will also be those that are just selfish & havent got their prorities straight- sad as it is

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Mummy of Two Boys
B: 2004
K: 2007





Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 1:30pm
I am forever shopping and saying to mum that there is now NO reason for kids not to be clothed and shoed...the prices are ridiculous in many shops and at clearance...and number 1 shoes OMG they are crazy in their clearance racks and then buy 2 get one free on top!

have to say tho that I see daily where priorities are - it is their choice but I do think WINZ should monitor more carefully how money is spent - case in point 745am today at 4 square a dad (ive seen him with young kids around) buying two loaves of bread, milk AND a case of flame beer!!!!

let alone stopping at manurewa supermarket on a benefit day and seeing alcohol being bought at 8am more than food!!! and in such a hurry they arent even dressed (still in pjs!)....no wonder the kids miss out! sad but very true in this neck of the woods at least!


Posted By: sally belly
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 1:38pm
I have a friend who used to be a teacher in a primary school in a low socio-economic part of South Auckland. Some of the stories she used to tell me about the kids . Many of them didn't even have a book and/or pencil... Regardless of what their parents spend or don't spend their money on, it is so sad.

My Grandfather used to tell us that during the depression he was given his cousin's shoes to wear to school. Sounds fine in theory but his cousin was a girl so he used to hide them in the hedge until after school

I agree with Glow, times are definitely getting tougher but some people just don't appear to want to help themselves or their kids.



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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 1:51pm
DH and I pretty much live off the bones of our ass's at the moment, we can afford to pay our bills and put food on the table and petrol in our cars, and after all that we dont have a lot of $ left, but, I will always put cadens needs in front of my own. I could do with some new shoes, but Caden needed some new things, so he comes first! I always make sure that he has clean warm clothes, he never goes out without socks on or a hat if its really cold(even though he yanks it off his head all the time!)
I just go where the sales are, like at babycity yesterday, they had some winter stuff on sale at REALLY good prices! plus iy was buy one get one half price, or I'll go to T&T and get him things as its so cheap.

I will happily buy my children the things they need over my own needs! But DH and I still make sure we get the odd treat as well lol

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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 2:40pm
my SIL told me once and it stuck in my head about how disgusted she was when a lady came in (SIL worked at supermarket) with a baby in freezing cold, baby was only in a VERY soaked nappy, the lady was buying nappies and SMOKES....her card declined so she put back the nappies!!!

Bizzy i get what ya mean about the kids - Bays school has the fruit thingy and i get rather upset that bay harps on about not wanting to eat the fruit!!!!...i think "its friggen food boy!!! And lovely fresh fruit at that!!!" i wish we were given fresh fruit when i was at school!!

My aunt was telling me a few days ago she stopped on her way to work bcos she saw 2 young boys walking to school with bare feet in 2 degree cold!!! she asked them where their shoes were "we dont have any miss, mum wont buy any"...well my aunt works at the school so sent a letter home to the parents and the next day she stopped and saw them again BUT this time one of them had old slipper on that had wet souls and the other had shoes on that were 4 sizes too big and could hardly walk in them!!!!!....im not sure what the circumstances of the parents were but i thought it was very sad

When times are tight in our household (like NOW! lol) my kids will always come first! i will much rather wear my holey tshirts around while my kids have lovely warm clothes. you can get super cheap stuff off TM too so there is a way!.


Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 3:10pm
I think the thing is about charities like KidsCan is that they make sure that the kids get the stuff they need. Yep it's the parent's responsibility but it's the children who suffer when they aren't made the priority.

My mum used to work in a Decile 1 school and some of the kids are badly off. Some because smokes and lotteries come first but others just are doing their best but don't know how to access the system (like recent immigrants with english as a second language) or just have very large families. It used to be a common sight at my mum's school to see kids with adult size shoes on because that was what was available that day to wear. And sadly when kids did have their own shoes often they would be stolen by other children and the parents would be back to square one.

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Posted By: surfergirl
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 3:12pm
I just thank God that I am not (currently) in this position. And hope to never be. It's hard to judge people when you've never walked a mile in their shoes.

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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 4:00pm
I expect there are a lot families around at the moment who are struggling. With people being laid off, we've found ourselves in this situation. luckily DH has a good salary, which means we don't qualify for any welfare, and once the mortgage/rent is paid there isn't a lot left.
It must be harder for parents on lower incomes, who suddenly find themselves without an income and still having to meet their financial commitments, its not like they can instantly sell their house or move to a cheaper rental.

I've had this conversation with my MIL and she seems to think some young mums treat their babies like their dolls or something rather than people. Mums are wrapped up in jackets while babies are in a summer dress, all very pretty but not practical at all.



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Angel June 2012


Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 5:37pm
I guess there are a number of categories that people can fall into which could leave their child(ren) without..

- Parents who don't give a sh*t, and put their own needs before that of their kids.

- Parents who really don't know how to budget and are and perhaps are too proud/ashamed to ask for help.

- Parents who go without and do the best they can, but it still may not be enough. Also too proud/ashamed to ask for help..

I guess also depending on the age of the kids, we might see them as not wearing shoes or warm clothes etc..but really they could be sitting in their schoolbags unworn because the kids themselves are too ashamed to wear second hand or non label clothes for fear of being teased..

Maybe the parent we see at the shops with their 3 kids wearing no shoes, or inappropriate clothes is severely depressed and overwhelmed and just trying to get through the day and not really in the right frame of mind..

Soooo many reasons not to put everyone in the same category... Problem is, you also can't tell which ones really need reaching out to that really need help.



Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 7:08pm
Talking to one of my friends about this the other day he buys his kids (9 and 10 year olds) hoodies, pants and shoes etc and are all good quality but most of the time they are wearing shorts and a tshirt and no shoes in winter because thats what they wanna wear. Its not that they don't have warmer stuff. They are just choosing not to use it.

But it does annoy me when I see toddlers out and about who don't have enough clothing on because they have no choice really about it.


Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 7:37pm
Originally posted by mum2paris mum2paris wrote:


The one thing that irks me is you go up town and mums (of any age) are all dolled up, make up, cellphones, ciggies, new clothes, obviously have been to hairdressers to have dye and foils and cuts, and then their kids are barely dressed, look freezing cold, no covers, no hats or jackets or even shoes. that gets me really angry.


LMAO, I am the opposite - my kids are all dolled up in expensive clothes and shoes and I'm scruffy muffy

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Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)


Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 8:57pm
I do believe a lot of the time people do have their priorities messed up and can't budget etc, but these are also (generalising here!) usually the people that have come from generational poverty and have never learnt the skills to budget etc and don't know where to go for help (and often too proud/ashamed). This also seems to be the case for a lot of recent emigrants etc.

While I do get annoyed that the Telethon is for KidsCan (I think it could be used for something else) because of the circumstances a lot of these children have come from (gambling etc) it's NOT the kids fault if they don't have shoes/jackets/food etc. And coming from someone who has been in a school like that as a kid (I was one of the lucky ones that had leakproof shoes most of the time - and yes they did get stolen!) the kids love all getting something new and cool like that, esp when the All Blacks usually come out and deliver the stuff and make a big deal about it.

As for the food, I guess they can take it or leave it. But trust me, you will not find a single kid at the really low decile schools who will turn down a free breakfast when they've barely been fed the whole week And... it helps them learn, which in turn empowers them to become better educated and get out of the poverty rut.

Every school I've ever visited as a teacher trainee, I always gave each kid 2 pencils (in my class - not every kid in the school lol) and had their names put on them so they couldn't be stolen and used by someone else. It really shocked me the behavioural issues you get from not having each kid with a pencil - I had one boy, at 7/8 years of age, throwing desks, ripping his work up, and strangling other kids (he ended up being physically restrained by the principal as he just went nuts) because the last little tip of his pencil broke and he was terrified to ask his mum for a new one

So I guess anything that can avoid those scenarios is good.

As for toys, I agree though - the $2 shop and TWH have heaps of cheap toys. Also TM or the sallies etc. I guess for some, if it's not convenient or not labelled, it's not worth it. And that is sad. We're not well off (far from it!), but we make ends meet as best we can. I still budget $10 a week so that we can put Xmas pressies etc on layby in the sales and have enough money for our Xmas lunch, and get stuff 2nd hand and do them up like new. My parents did it for us, and my grandparents for them. You make do with what you have and go without the luxuries if that's what it takes - coming out of it on top is the most rewarding part, not the pack of ciggies or bottle of booze.


Posted By: Brenna
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 9:25pm
Originally posted by emz emz wrote:


I had one boy, at 7/8 years of age, throwing desks, ripping his work up, and strangling other kids (he ended up being physically restrained by the principal as he just went nuts) because the last little tip of his pencil broke and he was terrified to ask his mum for a new one


It is shocking what kids are put through emotionally by their parents and it breaks my heart because it's not their choice what family they're born into. Some kids are made to grow up far too young to help look after their younger siblings while mum/dad are off at the pub or elsewhere.
I agree that there are so many parents out there with their priorities screwed up. I guess the problem is how do you help someone that doesn't want to be helped?? (or maybe they don't know they need the help?)

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My beautiful 2 girls...nearly 4 and 13 months


Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 9:26pm
Completely OT but how an earth has your DH managed to not slip up and tell you the sex? Legend!

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Posted By: Brenna
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 9:27pm
lol, it's the hot topic with all our friends and family too

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My beautiful 2 girls...nearly 4 and 13 months


Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 17 July 2009 at 12:10pm
My DH did one of his teaching placements at a Decile 1 school in Wellington. They had cupboards of breakfast because the vast majority of children didn't get any.

He speaks of one little boy that would regularly come to school with no food. Then, other days he would have four lunches. It was because he was being passed around family and they were too disorganised to know what was going on. On the days he did have multiple lunches, he would sit inside the entire lunch hour and eat every bit, because he didn't know if he'd even have lunch the next day.

I think there are some very sad situations out there, and regardless of whether it is the parents' fault, I feel so sorry for the helpless children who are caught up in the cycle... and will quite possibly never be any better themselves. I don't know what the answer is, but it is very disheartening.


Posted By: Andriea
Date Posted: 17 July 2009 at 12:29pm
We decided we wanted a large family #6 is cooking. My DH works full time and Im now a stay at home mum, we are classed as low income and get accomodation sup from winz and wff. I have just found that I have to hard out budget our money, If i want expensive items I laybuy them. I buy 1 or 2 items of clothing for 1 of the kids every week looking more at the specials in JK, PP warehouse etc. DH and I both smoke and there has been times when that particular week we just couldnt buy them cause there wasnt the money, it really gets my back up when people buy smokes but dont buy things there children need. As the kids grow out of their clothes we go and donate them to the local sallies so that we are hopefully helping someone less fortunate than us. Our older 2 (7rs and 10) know we dont have a lot of money to spare and are already generous the prime example being at the beginning of the year a local school here had a fire and the kids in that classroom lost all there brand new books etc. Our girls wanted to use all there savings to help them, I let them use half of it and I tell ya I was so proud. I think sometimes people that dont have a lot of money could benefit more from being helped with budgeting, shown how to search around shops/online etc for better prices even grocery shopping. eg menu planning then buying food for the week to fit that.

My best friend pi***s me off she gets everything she wants, hairdresser, clothing, make up, holidays etc and her son basically gets nothing.    

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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 17 July 2009 at 1:42pm
I get so wound up about this too....

One of the things that gets me is that some of the kids are fed food, but are of poor quality. There definately needs to be more education on how to meet their childs nutritional needs. A child may not be skinny because they are getting enough calorie intake, but they are being fed chippies or raw noodles.

I find it disheartening too, there doesnt seem to be an answer. Perhaps food vouchers and WINZ taking over their spending, but then how much work would that be for the WINZ case workers?
I just feel so sorry for these poor children, I really thought most people were born with a heart that could not stand harm being inflicted on children. Sometimes I think people who treat their children like that must have something seriously wrong with them. Kids are so precious


Posted By: ShellandBella
Date Posted: 17 July 2009 at 3:27pm
I agree with whoever said about vouchers - a much better and sensible idea. Then at least people are having to buy what they need e.g. food, clothes rather than what they want.

I think most people are doing it tough in these harder times, its about prioritising and sticking to a budget. DH and I have gone without for so many years, we don't know any different! But I'd rather see my kids happy and healthy than waste my money on pleasure items for ourselves.

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Posted By: JD
Date Posted: 17 July 2009 at 4:17pm
I agree with surfergirl....you cant judge until you have walked a mile in their shoes!!!

I was in the position being a single mum and trying to study full time so I could come off the benefit and improve the lifestyle of my daughter and I. She was at daycare all day (which wasn't covered entirely by winz and it was only the generosity of my parents that I could afford this).

I had a small flat, power that I paid weekly and a prepaid cell phone (which hardly ever had money on it). I had a car so I could get to school and drop dd off at day care.

I have a very vivid memory of having my pay come in and the rent, power, daycare come out and honest to goodness there was $20 left over! That isn't even enough for food for a week. Actually I lived off vegemite on toast most of the time and dd was fed at day care. I went into winz to get a food voucher and they told me the guy who does them has left for the day and I will have to come back on Monday (this was friday lunchtime). The same weekI traded one of the rings I was wearing for $5 worth of gas. The bank fees had chewed up the money I had budgeted for gas.

When people are struggling, having your kids shoes or jersey pinched at school tips every thing over the edge. Or if your kid gets nits and you have to fork out $20 for shampoo to get rid of them.   There are lots of unexpected things that come up, and when you are on a benefit, there isn't money left over to put aside for these things.

Most of the time I would get clothes for her from op shops or given to us which was a big help.

I know there are alot of parents out there who have their priorities all screwed up, but some are genuinly struggling. We get fruit in schools at my dd's school and its a big help to know I don't have to buy as much as its fricken expensive!

Even if the parents have their priorities screwed up...why should the kids suffer? Its not their fault.

I just dont think you should generalise or judge until you have walked a mile in their shoes.

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Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 19 July 2009 at 3:55am
Originally posted by Jezsika Jezsika wrote:

Agreed cant judge till u walk a mile in their shoes!

Im a single parent, i barely make ends meet but i make sure max and Ella have all they need! And so does their father.

I think noone should judge until they know BOTH sides of the story and yes while some of the stuff i have heard here is appauling other stuff has more to it than meets the eye.

Dont be so quick to judge.....


Yup single parent here too and just recently moved from our parents out into our own place, and whilst I love the freedom that has come with it - we are struggling to make ends meet at the moment (but part of that is because of unnecesary bills due to issues with our property and constant doctors & prescription costs as a result of property issues). As I mentioned in the 'govt. assistance' thread I'm on DPB and full time mother to my 2yo, by the time our rent, water etc comes out ...we have very little left to spend on the essentials like food, let alone petrol to actually leave the house.

I agree that a childs needs come first and foremost, I was in a lucky enough position that I had it easy for the first two years at my parents and I could give my boy everything he needed, now I definitely need to be more scrupulous because it is literally like living off peanuts atm. I'm not looking all that sh!t hot atm, Im sporting a hair cut which I gave myself ...as I can't afford a hair dresser, I can't afford make up and I have one pair of shoes. Not to mention the limited wardrobe I have to wear, Lucas has everything and I intend on keeping it that way.

Since moving my Dad has ended up having to help us out financially more often than I'd like, but if it wasn't for the odd groceries he buys us - we'd have barely anything to eat

As said above, you can't judge a book by its cover.

And don't get me started on stereotyping, I can't stand it when people group single mothers into one category 'oh she must smoke and drink and thats why the kids not clothed sufficiently or has no shoes, and I bet she has a partner living with her on the sly' - for one, I'm a single mum - I don't smoke, haven't touched alcohol for well over 3 years (and was never into it much anyway) and I haven't had any form of a social life since having my son - wherever I go, hes attached to my hip, no men no nothing. Thats that, I know no one has specifically targeted single mums or what I'm getting at here, its just something that I hear often and it really really gets to me. Lucas has ALWAYS been #1 and even if a man was to come into my life or what have you, he'd still continue to be my main priority and unless a guy is willing to accept that, then he can hit the bloody road!

Wow, that felt good to let that off my chest





Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 19 July 2009 at 11:02am
Originally posted by BuzzyBee BuzzyBee wrote:

I'm not looking all that sh!t hot atm, Im sporting a hair cut which I gave myself ...as I can't afford a hair dresser, I can't afford make up and I have one pair of shoes.

Since moving my Dad has ended up having to help us out financially more often than I'd like, but if it wasn't for the odd groceries he buys us - we'd have barely anything to eat


I could have written that chick!

I learnt on youtube how to cut my hair, layer and do my fringe lol (and didn't do a bad job!), biggest splash out this year has been on maternity jeans ($30 on sale woohoo - only pair of pants I own lol) and my shoes (I have 2 pairs, 1 for work and 1 for home) have holes all up the sides so I don't usually go out when it rains! I have been saving up for a new pair though, can't wait to be a big spender and find some decent $40 shoes somewhere!

Parents are great eh - I think all of us who have support networks are very lucky as a lot of people don't. During winter DH and I usually live off bread with a cooked meal every 2nd night while Jack gets nutritious food and we go to Mums once a week to get a proper feed (and trust me DH actually sleeps well that night).

Sounds so silly when you write it down, but you do what you have to do to keep your kids happy, clothed, fed and warm... I don't get how some parents can't make that a priority. If people can't pay power - all move into one room so you only heat that and get some blankets from the sallies. Can't afford shoes - again, go to the Sallies. They are quite happy to give you stuff if you really need it!


Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 19 July 2009 at 11:30am
As I said before there are a lot of families that have lost an income and are suddenly finding themselves with not a lot of $$ to go around.
There might be some parents out there that don't care about the welfare of their kids, but they would definately be in the minority.
Even families on good incomes are struggling, esp if you lose one and still have the same financial commitments.
While there are always the stereotypical young mums out there with their bellies on display and their arses hanging over the back of their jeans, and kids with no shoes or jackets they're rare.

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Angel June 2012


Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 19 July 2009 at 11:33am
Originally posted by mrsg1 mrsg1 wrote:

As I said before there are a lot of families that have lost an income and are suddenly finding themselves with not a lot of $$ to go around.
There might be some parents out there that don't care about the welfare of their kids, but they would definately be in the minority.
Even families on good incomes are struggling, esp if you lose one and still have the same financial commitments.
While there are always the stereotypical young mums out there with their bellies on display and their arses hanging over the back of their jeans, and kids with no shoes or jackets they're rare.


ahh but according to organisations like kidscan they are not so rare! child povety in nz is horrific apparently and increasing numbers of kids are going without shoes, breakfast, lunches , schooling etc....

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Posted By: Glow
Date Posted: 19 July 2009 at 12:05pm
Stats from the Childrens commissioner say in the year 2006/2007 there were still 230,000 or 22% of NZ children living in poverty. Poverty rates are unevenly distributed across society. Children living in solo parent homes, the poverty rate is 5 times as high as that for children living with both parents & poverty rates are signifactly higher in Maori or pacifica children than pakeha children.

In the 2002 national nutrition survey about 1/5 of households said "they could sometimes eat properly"

Poverty also creates a higher risk for abuse & neglect

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Mummy of Two Boys
B: 2004
K: 2007





Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 19 July 2009 at 2:26pm
It wouldn't surprise me given the current economic conditions that there is an increase in children living in poverty.

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Angel June 2012


Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 19 July 2009 at 11:15pm
just some possibly useful info for those finding it tough on one income , when I was a single mum on the DPB, food parcels from my local church were a God send (haha, excuse the pun) a couple of times, and as far as I know, anyone can get them

I hope that didnt come across as condescending....it was meant to be a genuine helpful piece of advice

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