ADVICE: Custody/Father issues!
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=27680
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Topic: ADVICE: Custody/Father issues!
Posted By: nooshie
Subject: ADVICE: Custody/Father issues!
Date Posted: 24 July 2009 at 8:04pm
Going to those with experience now.........! I am a single mummy to an 11 month boy. I have never lived with his father and he was not really around during pregnancy (or the birth!). His contact/support has been sporadic (depending on alcohol intake, who's pretty and available, can't find the phone...blah blah blah...). But now that my boy is rather fun to be with he wants all sorts of access, like taking him to see his friends (God no!) and such. As you can tell, I am not keen on this! He is named on the Birth Cert, but not as my partner. My question is LEGALLY what CAN and CAN'T he do right now? Should I be pursuing a full custody order? I has assumed that I had that automatically, but I am getting nervous!
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Replies:
Posted By: VioletStar
Date Posted: 24 July 2009 at 8:19pm
Have PM'd you Nooshie  ------------- Formerly Wishin41 |
Posted By: mylilmosaic
Date Posted: 24 July 2009 at 8:23pm
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Hi nooshie, Im pretty sure that these days it is called a parenting order that you can get, they no longer do custody orders I don't think. And because your sons father is on the birth certificate then Im pretty sure he will have rights. Sorry I can't help you more but Im sure there will be someone on here who knows the law better. But if it were me (and I have had to go for custody of my son before they changed it to a parenting order) I would get yourself a good lawyer who deals with family court stuff. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 24 July 2009 at 10:54pm
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Hi Nooshie, I don't know all the facts but work at a law firm so PM me if you want the number of good lawyers
Yep it's called a Parenting Order now. Because he's named on the birth certificate, he does have rights but that doesn't mean he can take him wherever he wants or do whatever he wants with your son. You can get an order in place for supervised visits, or visits at say his mother's house where your ex has to stay with the child. Also you can stipulate who they are NOT allowed to put the child in contact with etc. I've recently looked into this due to my own circumstances and it seems pretty straight forward if you get a good lawyer who knows what they're talking about. I have heard, and don't know if it's true or not for couples that haven't been together while the child's alive, but sometimes (for couples separating etc) they can order counselling to determine childcare arrangements etc. (free through the courts). you may find, however, if the father's contact is rather sporadic, you stick a motion to get a Parenting Order sorted on him and he'll back off (whether that's a good or bad thing only you can decide). Oh and most of the time it's done through the lawyers and just signed off by the courts - very few I see are actually taken to Family Court to be disputed etc as they mediate first. If you're worried about him drinking around the child, or putting your son in situations where you wouldn't feel comfortable him being in control of your son, I would document such situations in case you need evidence to back up your application. Good luck
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