what parenting style do you have
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Topic: what parenting style do you have
Posted By: lizzle
Subject: what parenting style do you have
Date Posted: 31 July 2009 at 8:15pm
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stalking trademe and people are talking about "parenting styles" that they follow, which led me to discover, my style is to steal ideas of other peoples that i like, and then wing it.
just wondering, do people actually have a "parenting style" or is everyone just winging it like me? |
Replies:
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 31 July 2009 at 8:28pm
We're winging it 
I mean, I read a LOT and am quite interested in child development and education and things so I enjoy reading it all but then I kind of just go with the flow with whatever's working for Callum. I love seeing what other people are doing on here and then giving it a go (or not). Maybe winging it IS a parenting style?  ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 31 July 2009 at 8:29pm
Pretty much just wing it with the help of advice from others  ------------- 
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Posted By: ShellandBella
Date Posted: 31 July 2009 at 8:34pm
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I think 'winging it' should be a parenting style - after all, no 2 children are the same, so how can you 'theorise' on whats going to work when one child might be completely different from the next? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 31 July 2009 at 8:36pm
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wing it with the motto that 'mummy and daddy are boss not the baby' -------------  
 
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Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 31 July 2009 at 8:41pm
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Ditto to the winging it! With a little bit of prodding from the MIL occasionally - she is ece trained -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 31 July 2009 at 9:18pm
Ditto ------------- |
MamaPickle wrote:Posted By: mumtooboys
Date Posted: 31 July 2009 at 9:26pm
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We wing it but it is based on the principles of attachment parenting. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: sottise
Date Posted: 31 July 2009 at 9:37pm
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We 100% make it up as we go along (I do like to pretend I'm in charge and try not to be -too- precious with her).
I'd be interested to hear if anyone went into this intending to parent a particular way and rigidly stuck to it! ------------- 
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Posted By: jano1
Date Posted: 31 July 2009 at 9:37pm
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Winging it with the help and advice of the Feb 09 mums. Lots of reading here too but I take what I want from the books these days. ------------- http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers"> |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 31 July 2009 at 9:52pm
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they were talking about nigel latta in particular and how everyone was saying how great he was, but then when people admitted some of the things he said were okay, they got told they were in the wrong.....
i like his stuff though (but not him) and love ian grant and dianne levy and the majority of their theories |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 31 July 2009 at 10:00pm
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I really enjoyed the segment on Sunrise they had from Parents Inc I think it was on the type of parent you are - got me thinking!
We are winging it - but I do believe in letting kids be kids, letting them make their own mistakes etc and getting hurt/disappointed and also achieving on their own. I agree with a lot of what Nigel Latta says on parenting. I don't know 100% on what DH thinks about it, but I went into parenting wanting to be a guide for my children, not the be-all-and-end-all in their lives. I also do everything with the constant thought that I am raising citizens to participate in society, and to better society by being here. That alone helps me make a lot of decisions about what and how I teach my kids. So we're pretty laid-back in our approach realistically. The only thing I worry about is Jack's health as we had a scare for the first half of this year and that's made me a bit more anxious about him falling/banging his hip etc in case his infection comes back. But what will be will be
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Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 01 August 2009 at 8:35am
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I second Ian Grant, he is fantastic. I love their books, especially Raising Great Girls ------------- http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 01 August 2009 at 8:40am
i so wing it allways have but i do take my mums advice from time to time lol ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: ButterflyMum
Date Posted: 01 August 2009 at 10:30am
must go find this book. I think for us we wing it but also we are a combo of what we liked about what our parent's did. I think what work's for your family etc is best. We are pretty relaxed I alway imagined i would be super hand's on arty crafty etc with my kids a beat myself up for ages for not being like that for example if i was my hired nanny I would fire me lol. -------------  
 
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Posted By: lemongirl
Date Posted: 01 August 2009 at 10:36am
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I'm authoritative. I'm quite strict about boundaries and making sure that S.O's daughter follows her routines. I've got her so well-trained that she'll even call us out when we don't follow the rules. But I balance out the 'tough side' with lots of love and affection and allowing her a lot more freedom to roam than her other caregivers.
S.O is all love and affection but struggles with saying 'No.' Consquently she often acts up around him so he always has to keep an eye on her. She also knows Daddy is a soft touch so will try to play us off against eachother. However my way does have its bonuses. Daughter was getting up multiple times durnig the night. SO used to go along and comfort her sometimes sleeping on the floor in her room for most of the night. Until I one night I said quite firmly to her 'go to the toilet then go back to bed. ' After that, we didn't have any problems with night wakings and SO said to me in amazement 'She really does follow what you say!' |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 03 August 2009 at 4:47pm
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Hrmmm... parenting style... I take the bits I like from heaps of different stuff.
And then I get hungry or tired and it all goes out the window and I'm grumpy mama. 
But really I guess I follow a bit of AP, a bit of unconditional parenting, a bit of Nigel Latta-ey stuff, a bit of stuff from the wise women of TNN, a bit of guidance from the kidlet herself... a bit of I-don't-wanna-do-the-things-I-hated-my-parents-doing But mostly just going with the whole, treat her as I would like to be treated style of parenting!
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Posted By: Natalie_G
Date Posted: 03 August 2009 at 6:17pm
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Everyday is different so we just go along with how that day is. I like to keep routine but that is it lots of kisses and cuddles all day hehe. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 03 August 2009 at 9:15pm
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We definitely wing it here! I am a bit hard nosed about certain things but only because it works well for us. I read so much and then kind of mash it all together and forget half of what I read so make the rest up.
I must admit I sometimes purposely go against what my MIL says I SHOULD do because I can't stand that she thinks she has a right to make decisions on DD's upbringing just as much as we do GRRRRRRR!!!! ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 04 August 2009 at 12:16am
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We wing it here as well
I do love Ian & Mary Grant books,and the Parenting Magazine... oh and the Supernanny book by Jo Frost too.  but we just take bits that apply to us and see what works.
Other than that I get heaps of tips from other Mummies, off OhBaby, and from coffee groups, playgroups, neighbors etc. ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 04 August 2009 at 7:09am
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there is a programme on sky tv tonight on the living channel at 8.30 called bringing up babies, six different families trying six different ways of bringing up babies, for those that are interested ------------- susie |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 04 August 2009 at 9:45am
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Do you parent similar to your parents or different? ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: SpecialK
Date Posted: 04 August 2009 at 5:14pm
| Different! There are a lot of things that my parents did that I always said, never doing this with my kids. It's nothing major, just a lot of little things. With kids I nannied, I was always really strict when it came to routines, boundaries and healthy food. Apart from that lots of hugs, kisses and listening to them without trying to solve their problems. |
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 04 August 2009 at 5:26pm
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I Googled parenting styles and this is what I came up with -
Indulgent parents (also referred to as "permissive" or "nondirective") "are more responsive than they are demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation" (Baumrind, 1991, p. 62). Indulgent parents may be further divided into two types: democratic parents, who, though lenient, are more conscientious, engaged, and committed to the child, and nondirective parents. Authoritarian parents are highly demanding and directive, but not responsive. "They are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation" (Baumrind, 1991, p. 62). These parents provide well-ordered and structured environments with clearly stated rules. Authoritarian parents can be divided into two types: nonauthoritarian-directive, who are directive, but not intrusive or autocratic in their use of power, and authoritarian-directive, who are highly intrusive. Authoritative parents are both demanding and responsive. "They monitor and impart clear standards for their children’s conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. Their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive. They want their children to be assertive as well as socially responsible, and self-regulated as well as cooperative" (Baumrind, 1991, p. 62). Uninvolved parents are low in both responsiveness and demandingness. In extreme cases, this parenting style might encompass both rejecting–neglecting and neglectful parents, although most parents of this type fall within the normal range. I don't feel I fit into any of these. We have been very laid back with our 2 as a result they are very laid back babies. I'm happy with that. I guess we fit into the she'll be right category lol. We definitely wing it. Although having twins we have always had a basic routine that we have stuck to. We do understand the importance of a schedule when it comes to those first few years. -------------  
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: kellie
Date Posted: 04 August 2009 at 5:40pm
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I think I would fit under the category of attachment parenting. Just winging it though
Lisa85, that is such a cool sig!! ------------- 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 05 August 2009 at 10:46am
Woah, that's a totally biased account! haha. Don't know much about this Baumrind person but I can guess which parenting camp they'd fall into! |