Be careful what you post!
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=28632
Printed Date: 25 September 2025 at 8:12am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Be careful what you post!
Posted By: mamanee
Subject: Be careful what you post!
Date Posted: 08 September 2009 at 4:42pm
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Things come back to bite you even when you're just having a rant about your feelings and getting things out.
I forget that this is a public forum and anybody could be lurking. 
I feel like a prize ass right now, and my poor dad is stuck right in the middle. |
Replies:
Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 08 September 2009 at 4:54pm
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Sorry to hear that! I'm not sure what you're referring to exactly but in general I must say I am quite amazed what some people say on this forum when it is easy to tell who they are from the photos of their kids and their names. You can see from the number of views that each thread gets, compared with the number of actual replies that there are TONS of lurkers out there!!
Hope things resolve themselves soon. |
Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 08 September 2009 at 5:06pm
Thank you. 
I posted a little while ago a rant about my dad and my stepsister and it got back to her, so won't be posting about family ever again. I didn't mean to intentionally hurt or upset anybody I was just having a vent, as you do, but have learnt my lesson now! And yeah, I forget how public this place is! And I've seen it happen in the past where people have posted seemingly harmless details and it's been seen by people it's not really intended for and gotten back to them. Scary thought! You never know who is reading. |
Posted By: Red
Date Posted: 08 September 2009 at 5:06pm
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Sorry to hear that. I hope things smooth over soon.
Yes I am suprised at times by that people post, as NZ is a very small country! As said in the phone ad, there is only 2 degrees of separation. |
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 08 September 2009 at 5:09pm
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What happened?
I think we all forget when we're online that its not private. I'd still be shocked if anyone I know besides one or two friends I actually see on here know me. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 08 September 2009 at 5:15pm
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I have always thought that forums should be anonymous, that is what handles are for so that you're not using your actual name. 99% of people reading this will be fine, but there is always that 1% that have different motives.
It's great that you have to have 100 posts before you can access the photos thread but everyone seems to put pics all over the place anyway! I would be interested to learn what percentage of viewers are members vs guests. |
Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 08 September 2009 at 5:53pm
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OMG freaky! Do you think it was a coincidence or were you being stalked? -------------  
 
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 08 September 2009 at 7:18pm
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I remember your post. Sometimes we forget where we are as we are used to seeing the usual ones around but there are so many out there that we can not see.
The WWW has made cyber space a small world. I removed my photos of my kids as I like being anonymous. I don't know if any of my friends or family post here, don't want them knowing that we have been trying for another, don't want them knowing what I am doing or when I am blowing of steam. I like it that I can come here, to a public forum, have a laugh with my online friends, say my views on topics weather they are agreed with or not. Once you put a pic up & add personal info it is so easy to be spotted & you are not the only one on here that has had it happen to unfortunately. All you can do is talk to your dad & tell him how you really feel, it maybe good for you to clear the air. Now that your stepsister knows how you feel, she should grow up & take to hart what you said as it sounded like she was the selfish one....if I remember your post correctly. |
Posted By: chonny
Date Posted: 08 September 2009 at 7:55pm
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I had this about a year ago too. Someone from church said that someone else had seen something on here & gone to them about it cos they were worried for me. I was PI#$$D OFF! I Though it was rude that someone was so concerned they went to someone. but to me, if you are that concerned, you go to the person directly! I never found out who but it really hurt me!
HUGS! -------------   
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 08 September 2009 at 9:17pm
Renee, that sucks  .
I'd be interested to know if we could go to an active member type system like TNN - you have to be registered before you can view most of the threads and then some threads are for people with a certain number of threads (similar to our photos). ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 08 September 2009 at 9:25pm
Yeah I reckon that would be great! A few times Ive done searches in google and one of my posts have come up... makes me think how easy it would be to be stalked 
I'm the same as you Jazzy took all my photos and identifying info off to try and remain somewhat anoymous... ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Flissty wrote:Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 09 September 2009 at 8:17am
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that sucks renee - i think i remember that post...and think she got what she deserves. shes probably only upset cause it wasnt nice stuff and she knows now you are onto her!
but yes we do need to remember this isnt a private place! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 09 September 2009 at 9:23am
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I remember the post too and all you said was that you were annoyed that she only seemed to contact you when it suited her and that you were mad at your dad for seemingly putting her before you. Nothing overly offensive I don't think but maybe they didn't like the home truths!
I will always try and keep my real identity out of here (after my mother stalked me on a wedding forum I was on....) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 09 September 2009 at 9:36am
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i go to another place that requires a little more registration etc and has not many members and feels safer but i dunno you never know who is lurking...that is why I am way more careful what I post too and also deleted my pics when I was going to leave.. and won't post my baby names atm as i know a few people log on here just to find out info which is really sad:(
anyway Renee *hugs* I know how much it sucks ..the first time this happened to me someone logged on found out I was pregnant and txted my whole family including BIL who said 'oh yeah i already know' when I announced it a week later at Xmas.. I felt so stupid and so did they after i mc'ed... ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 09 September 2009 at 9:37am
Don't think that would work even the photos are not really that safe, all you need is 100 posts & how easy would that be to do if some want to view. This is a open forum like 100s of others you just have to remember that. I did not even know about Ohbaby till I googled something & it brought up someone's post, then I got a bit hooked. |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 09 September 2009 at 9:44am
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Oh I know it's not fool proof but it makes it a bit more work for someone to lurk/cyberstalk ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 09 September 2009 at 9:44am
I completely agree! I think personal info is what PM has been designed for. I PM a few people on here and they know personal info about me but I would never put it out publicly. You just have to mention to a few people that you post on OB, they could then tell others, and all of a sudden you have a silent following that you never knew about. Not to mention the really dodgey people that may be copying your pics to their PCs
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 09 September 2009 at 10:01am
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:( i hate to think people do that with pics...some people suck:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Jelly
Date Posted: 09 September 2009 at 1:22pm
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Actually I found out about OHBaby through google! I was looking up bleeding during pregnancy after a smear (My mum was worried and I wanted her to relax) and the best answer I found was a thread on here. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 09 September 2009 at 5:55pm
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Yeah unfortunately it has happened more than once around here, and it sucks..especially when someone is actively snooping! I don't really think there is any way someone "accidentally" starts reading through the posts of someone they know.
*Hugs* As much as it has possibly messed things up right now, I hope in some ways having your feelings out in the open will help others understand your point of view. I remember the thread and don't think you said anything particularly mean anyway.. she is the one who should be ashamed, not you. |
Posted By: Treen
Date Posted: 09 September 2009 at 7:38pm
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Yikes! Off to change my profile...
Renee honey, I'm so sorry to hear that. We all need to rant every now and then. I always thought it would be better to do it on here rather than to friends or family but I guess not. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 09 September 2009 at 7:42pm
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I was thinking about this the other day and was going to post asking if maybe there could be a second area with the photo gallery for more personal chat so that the only people you get advice from are 100 post members or maybe even 1000 post members just so the average person cant jump on and read everything like those looking for help from violent partners or family issues etc - maybe something for admin to consider -------------   
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 09 September 2009 at 8:48pm
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i think we've asked for a restricted section many times before now!.. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 09 September 2009 at 9:30pm
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I do know you can read the message board without being a member or signing in, even, cos I read the board for days after my computer gotr back from the shop without sigining in, it wasn't till I went to post, when it said yo must log in or sign up to post. maybe that would be a good start... ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 11 September 2009 at 4:54pm
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yeah and i goggled something and up came my post that gave me a fright:)!
on my other board the restricted section is very restricted and works very well... ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 11 September 2009 at 5:10pm
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awww noooo that sux hun , i know exactly how you feel i had it happen to me on here too more than once, ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 11 September 2009 at 5:21pm
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It really sucks when that happens. I know I would love to post something to get some more opinions about them but due to the content I really don't want to post it. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 11 September 2009 at 5:26pm
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yea exactly
i think there should be a restricted section i know i get "watched" on here by dh's ex mil ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: chonny
Date Posted: 11 September 2009 at 6:25pm
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i had the same thing in that i just wanted advice from more than one person, and the mums in my group are like my besties! -------------
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 11 September 2009 at 6:29pm
Woah, that's a bit stalkery  ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 11 September 2009 at 8:27pm
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I remember that post too, personally I think they should be apologising not giving you grief!
It is very easy to forget this is a public place, I know I am way more trusting of OB friends than perhaps I should be given I only know a few personally. I have not told anyone IRL that I post here, though probably should change my handle its not very steathy LOL. This should be a place where we can come to vent and ask for advice without worrying what our RL friends/family might think... very sad. Love the idea of a restricted area... -------------   
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Posted By: SBM
Date Posted: 11 September 2009 at 9:36pm
| So how do you change your username on here?? Now i'm all paranoid LOL |
Posted By: chonny
Date Posted: 11 September 2009 at 10:54pm
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yea i been wondering the same Sarah -------------
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Posted By: ButterflyMum
Date Posted: 12 September 2009 at 10:26am
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unfortunality i ended up loosing my post count twice by changing my name I should be up to about 5000 now so gutted thing I have found is because the world is so small it would be easy for people to figure you out just by reading some stuff I did with people on here that I knew I figured out who they were just by what they posted I told them I knew them as soon as I figured out who they were. Anyway I think you can change your name all you like the thing is no matter what you still have to be really careful what you write.
ETA I was not stalking them or anything!! lol -------------  
 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 12 September 2009 at 1:56pm
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We have discussed the idea of a restricted section in the past, and I'll bring it up again at our next team meeting, but I think it's important to realise that the internet is a very public medium - whilst we do form really close relationships with some of the people we meet here, it's not the same as having a chat over coffee, in that anyone can view it.
I think for me personally, I'm quite lucky - because I work for OHbaby!, I always ask myself before I post something: "would I want my boss to read this?" (because she can lol!), and if the answer is no, then I don't post it. With regards to the forums being accessible even when you're not logged in, we had it designed that way on purpose so that people could access all the great advice and ideas that come up on the forums without having to join up. I think you'll find that a lot (if not most) of other public message boards operate the same way - Trade Me and Everybody as an example. I'll let you guys know what is decided at the team meeting 
-------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: ButterflyMum
Date Posted: 12 September 2009 at 9:24pm
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I really think its more about being careful even a restricted is not going to stop the problem. and that only IMO makes it more of an excluive club and one of the greatest things about oh baby is there is and has not been in that past. excuse my spelling mistakes very tired.
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Posted By: chonny
Date Posted: 12 September 2009 at 10:08pm
i tend to agree with butterflymum  -------------
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Posted By: Febgirl
Date Posted: 13 September 2009 at 1:33pm
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I don't think there needs to be a restricted section (other than photo gallery, which I think is a great idea), but I do think that you should have to sign in to view posts. It's free and only takes a minute of your time to do so, and all the articles can still be viewed even if you're not signed in...and it might make 'stalkers' think twice if they have to sign up rather than lurking anonomously... ------------- Two little girls under 2! 
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 13 September 2009 at 2:14pm
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That is a good point butterflymum, I have been thinking about this and realised if I had to sign up to read posts then I probably wouldnt have joined. When I found OB I was searching infertility info and was by no means ready to start openly discussing what was going on in my life, anon or not.
A good reminder to me to think before I type! Hope things settle down for you soon btw neeandsam -------------
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Posted By: myonlineself
Date Posted: 14 September 2009 at 8:44pm
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I had two people I know find out by reading my posts on here that I was pregnant, before we had told anyone. They both PM'd me though (cause they weren't 100% sure it was me - just guessed from details I'd posted), but they were both totally understanding about the fact we were keeping it quiet. Was still pretty disconcerting though and a bit of a reality check, that as soon as you start talking about any details of your life, people can pretty easily figure out who you are. At the time I had my real name in my profile information too... (just first name) which I guess makes it easier for people ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 14 September 2009 at 9:14pm
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Your profile info can't be accessed unless they're logged in though - so that's something.
It sucks that people stalk others online. Honestly it's a bit sad really (although I do 'stalk' celebrities - they're fair game lol) but it's a good reminder that posting online is very public. -------------
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Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 15 September 2009 at 9:56am
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The only thing that bugged me about this site is that you choose your online 'name' but your real name is still accessible to people by clicking on your profile. The first time someone referred to me on here by my real name I was taken aback and wondered how they knew me. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 15 September 2009 at 11:12am
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I don't think you have to have you real name in your profile.
I am probably not the best at being careful what I write. I once had a friend asking about someone I had posted on here because her SIL spotted me and apparently reads about me all the time 
I think mostly people that would spot me on here would know me pretty well and then I don't really care if they see what I write on here. I know I have recogonised a few people on here and may have done my fair share of reading about them  ------------- 
 
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Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 15 September 2009 at 11:28am
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You're right Daisy, you can take it off (which I've just done) - it probably shouldn't default to being on there though because most people won't know that it is.
Apart from that I never put anything on the internet that I wouldn't want people 'in real life' to know. The other thing I guess is that in theory anything you write will be in cyber space forever, so could potentially come back to bite you in the bum later. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: ButterflyMum
Date Posted: 17 September 2009 at 8:21am
Well said!!!! -------------
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