Can’t make a decision!!!!
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Topic: Can’t make a decision!!!!
Posted By: FionaO
Subject: Can’t make a decision!!!!
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 1:25pm
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Hi,
I return to work in 2 weeks, 2 just two little weeks and I am really struggling making my care decision. I am usually so decisive and go with my gut and it always does me well, but seriously I am so struggling. So I am going to tell you the choices and see what you think. So I have found 2 awesome daycare centres very close to home, very friendly, both a similar size, one has a nicer feel than the other but the one with a nicer feel a friend of mine said she hadn't heard anything good about, but I got a good vibe. Then there is in home care, I got a call from a friend of the family who has a nanny sort of and she would like to take on another child, its not through any agency but this nanny is a friend of that family, she currently looks after her grand daughter and another wee boy, mine would make 3, ranging from 1 to 3. Lovely homely feel, she seemed lovely, she is super flexible Things that bother me, in daycare they would follow a routine, the home based care will not so much, but then when he goes to daycare his routine will probably change anyway. I like all the activities of a daycare, but the home care lady would be like taking him to be with his nanna for the day is that more important at this age. lastly aargggh, i think I am over thinking this , but I just can't decide. ------------- 
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Replies:
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 1:30pm
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ive become a daycare advocate....not so much beacause of the daycare as an option but because it works for my child you has leapt ahead due to all the activities she gets to do....and i was a nanny in a previous life and know there was no way I could be doing all those things with her and so no way in home help etc could either. Socialisation is also very important to me and I can spot a daycare kid and non daycare kid in playgrounds / chipmunks etc now very easily.
if you go daycare route...go with your gut - while youre off pop in and ask to be shown around again...go in afternoon around 230 or 3pm and you will see them in the wild and how the teachers are coping...or at lunch / morning tea to get feel for routines. its your call...you are mum and only you can decide - we copped (and still do at times) a lot of flack on our decision but those who know ella know that she has thrived in her environment. |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 1:34pm
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i am a ECE teacher but in your case sounds like the home based option sounds best? if you are going to go preschool then I suggest going with the one you said you got a good gut feeling about...
both options have brilliant pros and cons.. and it depends what you are after.. for me he needed socialisation and I needed a break so a small school (8 babies) suited us both.. but I very seriously considered home care /nanny as well.. you say the home care is more what you feel he needs and also that you would rather he was in his own routine so prob home based sounds like it suits you better. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 1:35pm
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and dont feel bad about 'over thinking it' cause it's an important decision that has to suit you and him:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Febgirl
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 1:39pm
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Which would be easier for you in terms of logistics - drop offs, pick ups, location etc? Is there any difference in cost? I'd look at these practical things if everything else is equal... ------------- Two little girls under 2! 
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 1:50pm
I know how hard it is to look after the two that are mine little own three that dont belong to me, so I personally would opt for dc 
From a safety aspect its much more common for at home carers with no backup to go "off the rails" and as this particular woman isnt affiliated to any association I wouldnt feel comfortable putting a child of mine into her care. Of course there are probably many many situations just like the one you are talking about that work perfectly .. I just wouldnt want to chance it
Oh and I think for your sons age group dc is great as they get to socialise and learn by osmosis ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 2:00pm
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Oh but that said, there is recent evidence to suggest that babies who are in daycare from an earlier age experience higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol, and that this is caused by the centre environment itself rather than being separated from his/her parents as children in homebased care or with family members etc. don't experience this increase in cortisol. Will try to find a link to the study. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 2:02pm
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Here is a brief article from Stuff:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/health/2480013/Home-best-for-babies-says-doctor - Home best for babies says doctor ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 2:04pm
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I agree with LF too... esp if the carer isn't affiliated with an agency. DC just feels safer to me knowing that there are other teachers around and I'm not just relying on the one person... ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 2:10pm
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What is his personality like? I ask this cos I have just put mine in home care, not because I don't like daycare but because Spencer gets easily overwhelmed especially when there are lots of kids, shouting, noise, new people etc so I went in home care instead so that he and Kyle can stay together and also so he has that one on one more (on the day my boys go she only has my boys) so that it is less scary for him.
If your boy is very confident, into everything type boy then he might do better at daycare where there are more activities. I think with the two types of care there is a bit of a trade off, in that you can't really get one on one care and heaps of activities so you need to decide which will suit your child best. I also think that in home care only works if you really click with the carer, if there is even a smidgen of a doubt about her then I wouldn't use her. Like the above posters have said there is more accountability at daycare cos there is more than one adult about. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 2:26pm
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Good point about personality types Cuppatea - Maya thrived at daycare, then preschool and now school coz she is a confident, outgoing, sociable kind of person by nature and daycare really nurtured that. But the gremlins are much, much more reserved, insecure and easily overwhelmed so the nanny has been great for them as it's allowed them to form a secure attachment and a real sense of relationship with her. Not that Maya didn't form relationships with her daycare teachers, it's just not as personal. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 2:32pm
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and while there are more teachers and more accountability doesn't mean that the care is better because teachers have a lot to do and a lot of children to look after
personally the smaller the ratios(and amounts of children )the better.... i guess I'm just saying that having a more homely feel with less children can be awesome too:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 3:06pm
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You guys are awesome, but my head is still spinning.
Reading amongst it all there are pros and cons. DS is outgoing at home, quiet when we first go and see others and then very FULL on. This home carer has been taking care of a friend of the family for 6 months and they are very happy with her, but I get what you are saying, it also bothers me its just her. To those who do go to daycare, do they get exhausted every day? I may be able to go with the home carer for a month as my daycare doesn't have space for a couple of weeks, and then change if I don't like it. I have a headache just thinking about it. 
I really wish there was one thing to push me one way or the other. Convenience, is about the same, money is less with the home carer. Off to look at that article now Maya -------------
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 3:17pm
LOL I've probably been no help at all, playing devils advocate 
Maybe putting him in in-home care while you wait for a daycare space is the plan - that way if he's loving it there, you might feel better about the in-home thing and decide to leave him there, but if it doesn't work then you know you've got an out. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 3:55pm
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i would want to know what the in home carer would do during the day. is she just going to sit at home with the kids or will she do music and playgroup and stuff like that too...? and how old is she - you said she had a grandkid she was looking after, i would be worried that looking after 3 kids might be too much. (i dont want to offend any older people on here).
maybe another option would be to look at a more formal in home carer like a porse or barnardos type thing so there is some accountability. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Febgirl
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 4:19pm
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Yeah, just re-reading your post I realised that the in-house carer was just a friend of a friend, not affiliated with an agency? - in that case I would go for daycare personally. ------------- Two little girls under 2!
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 4:22pm
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He is only little, I'd be tempted to use the home carer and maybe consider day care when he's a bit older.
IMO grand mothers make some of the most fabulous home carers, they've got loads of experience and love to give their kids. I don't have my own mum around, but I'd be more than happy to poach someone elses. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 6:14pm
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The in home carer has formal qualifications, but just not linked to porse or anything.
She also does a playgroup on tues and music on thurs which I am quite keen on, doing something but not too much She is a young granny, she is 48 I think, I believe its her youngest child that has the daughter. Since my daycare of choice can't get him in, I think I will trial being with her for 3 or 4 weeks, if all is going well I can leave it and if not he can move to daycare. I guess I will get a good idea pretty soon if it suits, him and us. thanks everyone for listening to me rant on - it has helped. -------------
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Posted By: Chickaboo
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 7:07pm
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I have used both with different kids
My daughter was and is very out going, confident etc. already so she would of been fine anywhere but..daycare was great for her. My son is home based care now - although she does it with The Kidscare group (a taranaki group) He loves it and it has the flexibility i need with hours if I need an extra day hour here or there - i work part time but casual now and then. i get on very well with the carer and can be pretty open with her too. he also is pretty confindent. Will you be wanting a subsidy (eligelble?) cause with the home base one - not being with an agency you won't get it where as the daycare you will. At your sons age - being with a large group or smaller group i don't think makes too much difference - With my son nearly being 3 he is into alot more and there is less opportunity at home base - although he is going to go to Kindy once they have a space in the afternoon. Oh and Rhyley at kindy is not shy and will defend himself with the more 'experience' kids (as I go to a play group there which is on with the afternoon kindy kids) ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 8:35pm
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We've sent our two boys to daycares and found them to be great but having said that, I found the article from stuff to be very interesting. DS1 is six and since he has started school he has not settled in well, is way behind all the kids in reading and writing and seems some what jumpy around other kids and his social skills (lack of them) have also been commented on a couple of times by the teacher. I've only read the article now but I wonder if being at daycare from such a young age contributed to the problems we are having now...not sure and not sure if I will look into it further but it was interesting. Even now I'd still go with daycare.. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Alex 6 and Harry 8 |
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 8:50pm
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Hmm, personally I prefer home care for children under 2 if you can afford it. Nothing wrong with DC I just prefer the smaller ratio of homebased care.
Given that she is qualified, I would be checking references and asking if she has a recent clear police report. I dont see that 3 kids would be a problem.... there are plenty of 3+ kids famiilies out there whos SAHM cope everday! As long as its not 3 under 2 years of age (as the max by law is 2 under 2 in homebased care unless they are sibilings). Just my opinion of course -------------   
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Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 10:05pm
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i def agree that it depends on the child and some kids at our daycare are frantic when the parent leaves or should be returning...Im lucky that my flexi time means I often get there early or pop in during the day...
I think answer to your question of do they get exhausted - YES...Ella is a full on kid. In fact she was off recently for a week *sick* and by the 3rd day my mum wanted to send her back! She sleeps 12 hours - and her mind is very busy. She loves weekends "no daycare day" but loves mondays "yeah daycare day"....her fave teacher gets sick a lot, teachers come and go, we have students a lot...but she has so many people around and things to do every day that I have no qualms leaving her. what will happen in homecare situation youre looking at if carer gets sick...also will you be the employer etc and have to do all that entails (i have a friend who was caught unawares in that situation)..eg holiday leave etc... on the other side - I have friends with in home care whose kids do very little every day and know every tv programme under the sun that is on...or they pay to go to music, gym, etc lessons during the day etc...all stuff ella does at daycare each day. I hope you reach a decision soon...settle time for which ever care situation should be 1-2 weeks pt time for bubs - and your benefit...all the very best in whichever route you travel.... |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 10:29pm
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C thrived at creche etc , she loved it .
My friend is a nanny ,through porse , she takes the kids to playgroup, music and movement, and is constantly doing activities with them , if i was to get care for my children while im not with them , I would love someone like her . In saying that tho, I say , go with your gut instinct , good luck ------------- 
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Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 29 September 2009 at 3:18pm
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Ok, decision made!!!
He is going to daycare, finally DH decided to share an opinion and he was freaked out by in home care, also the in home carer is not a routine type person and we are and so is Finley. Last night I was thinking home care but this morning when I woke to call and tell her that I just cried, after a lot of calls and another visit, we then signed up to the daycare I liked in the first place, probably teaching me my gut is right anyway. I went again during lunchtime and the lady was like oh its really busy now nobody will be able to talk to you, but I said actually I would just like to watch. So they had lunch, then everyone was full and grizzly and these teachers flew around got everyone organised and seriously 15 mins later most of them were not only in bed but asleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Except the ones who weren't due a nap and they were just happy playing. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to share, this was not an easy decision. Now the harder part comes I have to leave him and go back to work..............  -------------
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