Will he be ok?
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=29322
Printed Date: 27 October 2025 at 8:20pm
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Topic: Will he be ok?
Posted By: FionaO
Subject: Will he be ok?
Date Posted: 13 October 2009 at 12:30pm
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Ok, I'm really just after some reassurance here and this might turn out to be long and rambly, but I needed to ramble to people that get it. So I started back at work this week and DS started daycare, its a lovely daycare, very caring staff, lovely place and I am happy he is there. He was pretty unsettled there yesterday, he is better today but apparently is getting upset quite easily, he is going to sleep well though. Just really want to hear happy settled kids at daycare stories. DS is a mummy's boy, can be a little shy at first until you know him and cos DH and I don't really have much family in NZ he has spent the first year purely in my care, so its a wrench for both of us, we are just not used to him being looked after by anyone else, neither is he. He will only be in care 3.5 days a week, one afternoon DH has him and one day off I have him, so I am happy with that. I just worry that all this is traumatic for him. yesterday when I got home he was all smiles and went to bed happily and slept for ages, probably worn out, he is only going part time this week, next week are the full days. I just cannot stop worrying about him, which I know is probably normal, I just need to know this gets easier, as right now it feels very hard ------------- 
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Replies:
Posted By: blondy
Date Posted: 13 October 2009 at 12:38pm
It does get easier! Nat started in part-time in home care at 11 months, and while the first few weeks were hard for all of us (we also don't have much family around, and she's rather clingy to say the least!), it has just been getting better and better. She still has good and bad days, but I figure she would have them at home with me anyway 
It's great to pick her up at the end of the day and have her not want to leave because she's enjoying herself so much. I think it's been great and healthy for her to learn to connect and be looked after by someone else, and also for me to let someone else look after her! For the first couple of weeks, all I thought all day was how horrible I was for leaving her there, but as soon as I saw how much she enjoyed it, and I enjoyed being back in the workforce I stopped worrying about her all day -------------  
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Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 13 October 2009 at 12:51pm
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Thomas started at pre-school at 10 months. He was pretty devistated when we left him there in the beginning (did a couple of half days) but as time went on he started enjoying it and we have to drag him out at the end of the day now :P
He bonded with the staff within a month, so he was happy to go to them for cuddles when he was upset so I stopped worrying about him. ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 13 October 2009 at 1:09pm
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Thanks guys, this is exactly what I need to hear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -------------
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 13 October 2009 at 1:46pm
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Yep, it gets a lot better!
DS started part-time at 5 months, he was never settled because he was just starting his clingy phase. Now he loves it and can't wait to get in the door in the morning. We still have unsettled periods but it usually coincides with an event, eg DH being away, when Ava was born, when he had just come back from hospital etc |
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 13 October 2009 at 2:18pm
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Def the first month is the hardest. DS was 14 months when he started full time DC and it was horrible. I seriously considered giving up work as he would sob when I left him and i would cry the entire way to work. He was like this for about 2-3 weeks and then was fine.
He still has days when he clings and crys when I leave but they are more infrequent. I also find the quicker I make the drop off the easier it is for him. The gutting part now is he often crys when I want to take him home   -------------  
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Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 13 October 2009 at 2:24pm
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Yeap it definitely gets easier. Kahtrell started daycare when we was around 13 months old. For the first couple of weeks I went in with him. After that (I started studying full time) when I would leave he would be in tears, which of course made me feel even worse! but when I'd pick him up in the afternoon his teachers would always tell me that he quickly stops crying when I leave. Sometimes I'd stick around outside the room and yea sure enough he'd stop crying and be doing an activity with his teachers. He loves daycare and loves his teachers. I am always amazed as what he learns there. Now when I leave him there's no tears...as long as he's doing an activity he enjoys, and if I do something with him for 5 minutes he's happy and always gives me a kiss and cuddle and tells me "see ya later" lol. ------------- 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 13 October 2009 at 2:35pm
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E hated it for the first few weeks too and I'm a teacher so i was gutted...lol..but he just did two hours at a time(cause I'm soft lol) for a few weeks and now he loves it..
as an ECE teacher you see that 99% of kids settle really fast and the parents worry longer than they do but I TOTALLY get it and he will settle soon!:)and it does get easier! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 13 October 2009 at 2:48pm
My two were the same. They still go through clingy stages and its sooooo hard to leave. I still have the odd cry in the car when I drop them off. For me its about the bigger picture, I know its good for them to socialise and I know they have a good time as soon as I'm gone. Long term it is also good for us as a family that I am studying. Thats what helps me anyway 
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Posted By: hannibal
Date Posted: 13 October 2009 at 8:51pm
| Hi it does all get easier - our bubs are the same ages and she just loves it (and the staff think she is just the best), she is nosey and interactive and she loves being socially active with the other kids - he probably needs to get used to it all. Its just me and hubby here in the SI and I was home for the 1st six months - it was probably harder on me than it was on her when we started the whole DC thing - she is in full time. In the time she has been going I can honestly say she hasn't cried more than 3 times when I have gone - hurts me more!!! Maybe hes not feeling well - is he teething? Remember you can always ring and check on him during the day! |
Posted By: bext1
Date Posted: 13 October 2009 at 8:58pm
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Joel started daycare at 6 months full time, and he was clingy at first but the staff said he cried for 5 minutes then forgot about me.
The twins have just started daycare 2x a week in the mornings, and they had visits first just to see how they got on, Zavier is a lil bit clingy still when he sees us go, but once we are gone they don't even notice, and they love it. they come home fed, tired, and happy!!  ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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