Advice please...
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Topic: Advice please...
Posted By: Emmi_
Subject: Advice please...
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 9:35am
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Ok so there is a job that has been advertised at work, and I applied for it (same company and all, just kinda like a promotion, but external people can (and have applied)). Anyway I applied, and have now got an interview.. My Manager said not to tell them Im PG, as she didnt think they would hire another preggy lady (the manager who left was not the best manager and used being PG to get out of a lot of stuff). I know they cant not hire me just cos Im PG, but it would count against me....
Do I tell them Im pregnant? My mum says I should, as its not like Im 6weeks or anything and dont know... I would be deliberatly not telling them, and I dont think tehy will be too happy once I have been there for a week or so and my tummy pops out, and Oh hello, Im into my 2nd trimester! What do I do? (also I am pretty sure that if I get the job it wont affect mat leave, but if you think it will then please say  )
Oh I hope that makes sense?! ------------- 
+1 May 09 Angel 
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Replies:
Posted By: VioletStar
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 9:57am
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Hey Emmi,
Personally if it was me I wouldn't say anything unless I was actually asked and then I'd say I was. I wouldn't want it to count against me... Good luck! 
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 10:15am
I would tell them .. I wouldnt want to put up with the grief when they find out a few weeks later.  ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Treen
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 10:20am
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Hi Emmi!
I'm with Wishin. I wouldn't tell them, but I wouldn't try and hide it, either. Like if a question came up like, I dunno, "Would you be willing to do a training course next May?" I'd reply "I'd love to but I'm actually pregnant and due that month. Is there a possibility to do it before or after I get back from maternity leave?" Just behave as if it shouldn't matter whether you are PG or not (which it shouldn't) and they might feel guilty for thinking any other way. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: X
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 10:25am
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I'd probably tell them too. It would be different if I was only a few weeks pregnant, because then I could always say I didn't know when I had the interview, but it's a bit harder when you're already starting the second trimester.
Obviously you don't have any obligation to tell them, but I just wouldn't want the uncomfortable bit when I actually have to come clean. And I would sort of feel that they deserved to know that I would only be doing the job for a few months before they'd have to find someone else. It probably also depends how much time you plan to take off after bubs arrives. If only a few months then no biggie, but if you're planning a year (or planning not to return at all) then they'll have to go through the process all over again. It's a real tough one ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: _H_
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 10:42am
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hi emmi.
kinda what Treen said- if they say something about training or something happening in may let them know you are due then. that way they are aware you are pg but also planning to return to work  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 11:10am
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Thanks guys, Im (shhhh) Actually planning on not returning as will be going to the states to live (for 5ish years) when Bub is 3/4ish months old. I have been in my current position for 5 years and would really like to be able to put on my cv that I moved up (even if it was only for 6 months)....
Gosh your pretty evenly split!!! I was hoping for an obvious sway one way or another!!  -------------
+1 May 09 Angel
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Posted By: Hunnybunny
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 11:11am
They actually aren't allowed to ask you if you are pregnant, or if you have any plans to be pregnant 
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wishin41 wrote:Posted By: VioletStar
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 12:41pm
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Good to know Hunnybunny! ------------- Formerly Wishin41 |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 2:18pm
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On one hand I don't think I would tell them unless it would be lying not to.
But on the other hand the fact that you aren't returning maybe would make me say something so you got the job with all your cards on the table. What kind of job is it? As in would you need much training, if you would hit the ground running then it would be fine but if they would have to spend a few months training and making sure you had everything it wouldn't be that cool for them. It is a hard one, good luck. |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 3:54pm
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They can ask about whether there may be any factors that might impact on your ability to perform the job (may or maynot be relevant - I used to work around radiation sometimes so would have had to disclose a PG for safety reasons) or they can ask how long you would see yourself being in the role etc. And if they ask these kinds of questions and you lie, you can be dismissed. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 4:30pm
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There isnt much training, I have been filling in for my manager for 2 weeks last month and have had no training... I just handle the situation as I see fit, or ask one of the other managers what I should do and do that...
Wough, I hadnt thought of how long do you see your self in the role question... That is a tough one. I dont think me being PG will impact on my ability to perform, I know the last girl used it as an excuse but I am planning on proving how efficient and onto it preggy girls can be I want the job, I want the challenge, and I want to get a great reference from them in 6 months time. I know I will need to work doubly hard to make up for the fact I was only there 6 months. Sorry I know I shouldnt be convincing you gals!-------------
+1 May 09 Angel
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Posted By: X
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 5:46pm
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Do you think they'll still give you a good reference after the 6 months if they only find out you are preggy after you get the job? Or may they be pretty annoyed about not being told & only give you a so-so reference?
Just as a side, good luck being efficient & onto it while preggy. Just for myself personally with my 1st pregnancy I found it really hard to stay on top of it. Your brain really does turn to cottage cheese. I definitely don't think I did as good a job while preggy (& it got worse the more pregnant I got). I think the closer I got to due date the worse my memory & motivation got. Just my experience though-you may stay really efficient. Is it a very full-on role? It's a really tough one Emmi. I think only you can decide on this one & there probably isn't a wrong answer. I hope you get the job either way! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 6:06pm
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I understand you desperately want the job, but it's not fair on the employer if it's a 'high up' position and they have to train someone up oin six months time.
I would flat out tell them. Avoid any chance of bad blood or akwardness, and if they still think you're the best for the job, they'll give it to you. I know you can't discriminate against preganancy, but training new people costs money and takes time. If they've been great employers to you I think it's only fair Gah I hope I don't sound too harsh! -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 6:11pm
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Uhhhm I don't think its particularly straight-up to apply for a job when a. your preg and b. you know you're only going to be there a short time and not coming back after maternity leave. If you laid your plans out to them then you most probably wouldn't get the job but I don't know if I'd wana be sneaky just to get something extra on my CV IYKWIM?? If someone under me pulled a stunt like that and wasted my time (coz thats really what your doing since they'd have to go through the whole circus again in 6 months) I certainly wouldn't be giving them a glowing reference...
Sorry if thats abit blunt I was trying to think of how to be tactful but couldn't GL anyway chick!!
ETA so what I mean is I think you should be totally honest with them and like Flake said if they think you're worth it then it won't play against you. -------------   
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Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 6:43pm
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Ok I will call the big boss on Monday and tell her Gulp! I am way nervous! I will tell her that between applying (2 weeks ago) and friday I have found out I am PG and due in May, and say I want to withdraw, if she says no no dont withdraw then I will still interview, if she doesnt say anything then I will bow out. It will be so good once work knows Im PG anyway.
I am def not planning on telling anyone we are going to the states, DH works in the same office and hes only been there since August (although only 20 hours a week) but he is still training for his job so we are just keeping that close to our chests for the next 5 months.... Also if I keep my current job I can work part time when ever I like when mat leave is up, even if its only for a month or so before going to the states, I would have to work full time with the promo. Bummer 
Sorry, I always end up posting my lifes story!! Thanks heaps gals
ETA, would it help if I planned on coming back in 5 years time?? I know they would still remember me (and if they were sh*tty about me going 6 months in, then they would remember that). So in answer to my own question, No! -------------
+1 May 09 Angel
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Posted By: HuntersMama
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 6:44pm
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I would tell them. I applied for the job I am in now when I was 8 weeks pregnant and told them because it meant I was entitled to maternity leave, plus they pay an extra 6 weeks at full pay so I didnt think it would be fair not to say anything.
Also, its a pretty small world in most industries and people remember things like that which may count against you in future. Im sure they will be impressed with your honesty and if they dont hire you because you are pregnant, do you want to work for them anyway? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 6:46pm
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Good point Em, but I still work for them, and still come in daily contact with them all out at the office... I had been looking for other jobs (at other companies), but when we started trying I stopped as I wanted to keep my mat pay... -------------
+1 May 09 Angel
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Posted By: gypsynita
Date Posted: 07 November 2009 at 6:52pm
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I think you're doing the right thing telling them, but I don't know if I'd be offering to bow out of the application process - leave it in their hands and see what happens... ------------- Anita Mum to Cian (Aug 08), Josh (Jun 10) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 08 November 2009 at 7:48am
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I would not say anything, & I did not when I got a extra day time job at my last place, & all worked out well.
You don't need to put another hurdle in your way & it is not any of their business, till you put in for ML. A lot of work places will see it as a negative factor, as the woman will be taking time off for appointments, sickness, tiredness, ML, sick kids, etc. Maybe your place will be different . |
Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 08 November 2009 at 1:52pm
My place was different, very supportive even though I told them I was UTD a month after starting. Also if someone needed all that time off that you suggest then I would have less negative feelings if they had been up front. Honesty is always the best policy I believe. |
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 08 November 2009 at 5:29pm
hmmm thats a toughy perhaps firstly tell them how much you want the job etc butter them up a bit and then say however i have recently found out im pregnant but it wont ettect my work performance . . . blah blah . .  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: Inlove28
Date Posted: 08 November 2009 at 5:33pm
| I have to say tell them, personally I would feel guilty or I wouldnt apply for it due to bad timing etc.... Good luck with your decision hun |
Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 08 November 2009 at 5:41pm
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I would tell them at the interview probably. I wouldn't withdraw from the running though. If you think you'll be up to the job then there is no need to do that. Go with Catzkids' approach.
Although I have to say that I agree with whoever posted about your brain turning to mush and your motivation going down the drain when pregnant. I was fine up till about 25 weeks but since then I know I haven't been as efficient and on-to-it as I used to be, and it's getting progressively worse. I would have struggled even more if much of my job was new to me, I think. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Inlove28
Date Posted: 08 November 2009 at 5:44pm
| Totally agree with T Rex there.... I do the most silly things and have done so from around early 20 weeks. Not to mention how tired you get..... Being in a new position you need to put in 110% can you really do that? |
Posted By: Emmi_
Date Posted: 08 November 2009 at 5:54pm
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I think I can put in the 110% that I will need to. I have been waiting for the job to become available for the last year and a bit and it finally has. I already know half the job, so wont have to start from scratch like someone external would.
I may be naieve, as this is the most preggy I have been, so it will all be new to me. But I love my job, and would be great at it. If I wasnt planning on leaving at the end of mat leave I wouldnt tell them I was PG as I would be coming back and they cant expect people to not get PG.. And I could prove to them long term Im worth it, Its just the possibility of leaving thats making me feel guilty I think... But me leaving isnt set in stone yet though (as much as DH wants it to be!) -------------
+1 May 09 Angel
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 08 November 2009 at 7:23pm
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Just wanted to wish you good luck again and second everyone that said don't pull out of the running - you never know what they'll say!! -------------
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Posted By: NZ-rules
Date Posted: 08 November 2009 at 8:20pm
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I took a job (many years ago) knowing full well that I was leaving 6 months later to go to the UK - I wanted that particular role on my CV and it has really helped me get where I am today. On the other hand, if I was doing the recruitment I'd have already made some sneaky enquiries and I wouldn't be surprised at all if they knew you were UTD. I think you should come clean, and definitely still go to the interview - you really have nothing to lose. Best of luck hun!! ------------- 
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Posted By: monkey33
Date Posted: 08 November 2009 at 10:19pm
I agree All the best with whatever decision you make.------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 09 November 2009 at 9:54am
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I'd let them know, but don't withdraw. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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