Is money everything?
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Topic: Is money everything?
Posted By: MissCandice
Subject: Is money everything?
Date Posted: 09 November 2009 at 8:57pm
So, would what your partner earns be a deciding factor in a future for you together? Does that even make sense?
To me money is nothing, i would rather be happy than rich.
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Replies:
Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 09 November 2009 at 9:01pm
When I was little I always wanted to be poor when we played pretend (my sisters hated it!) and for me what my DH earned was never a factor in our future together.
Personally most people I know with lots of money are the unhappier ones in comparison to the ones who don't have much.
I agree I would rather be happy and healthy than rich!
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 09 November 2009 at 9:17pm
My first husband earned much more money than my second (who earns nothing, being a Dad and Student) lol, so no, to me money means nothing ... looks do
(That was a joke for all the pc police) - well a half joke, he is pretty good looking
------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months)
I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 09 November 2009 at 9:42pm
Money isn't everything, but it does help, although I wouldn't use it as a decider in whether to start a relationship - my ex was on ACC and I supported him financially from day one (in hindsight, not the best decision in the world!). It didn't stop me starting a relationship with him.
I would rather be poor and happy, than rich and unhappy.
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 09 November 2009 at 9:47pm
No, but enough to cover the bills & not stress about price rises would be nice.
I picked my DH cause like lilfatty...he's hot...& he had a crap job back then.
------------- Kel
http://lilypie.com">
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 09 November 2009 at 9:54pm
I'd rather have love then anything else. I'd rather be cash poor and have the people I love around!
------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com">
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 09 November 2009 at 9:57pm
um, yes and no. I don't think money is that important. IN that, My husband could have had a job where he earned a heap more money, but I encouraged him to apply for the job he has now - not as much cash but he LOVES it. Same as me, i could have a job that would earn me heaps, but am happy doin g what I do.
in saying that, i don't think I could be with someone who had no job.
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Posted By: Aquarius
Date Posted: 09 November 2009 at 10:06pm
i would have to agree with you all....
sure we are broke all the time and would love nicer things and money to save but the reality is the rent is payed we have power, food and warmth(essentials)plus have internet and mysky(treats) and we are happy, together and still in love.
whenever i feel bummed about our living week-to-week situation, i think of people not making it week-to-week...at lest we do, alot dont!!
------------- http://www.magicalkingdoms.com/timers/">
mum to mr 16 & mr 10
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 09 November 2009 at 10:14pm
I'll be honest and say yes.
O f course there are alot of other deciding factors, but if in the long term he couldn't provide for us, and we couldn't be financially stable, if it was always going to be a case of having nothing, ever, then I'd seriously reconsider. I got brought up in a home with no money at all. Debt collectors always bangingon the door, phone being off, fgood parcels etc etc. Not by choic,e my dad go t sick when I was a teenager and mum had to work really hard at a sh*tty job to provide, but man, did we ever miss out on so much, and Im not just alking about designer t shirts here. Im talking no school today cos there is nothing for lunch.
They got into that situation for a variety of reasons, not lest of all dad being sick, the main one being poor money management/skills/job prospects.
at 58 we (my husband and I) are supporting my mum (my stinck brothers won't help) because of poor money skills/management/job prospects etc. As in we pay her rent and often feed her as well.
So yeah, if it meant living like that or bringing up my kids like that, I would walk away and never look back,i wouldn't wish that upbringing on my worst enemy.
------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 09 November 2009 at 10:29pm
Money not so much, a strong sense of family roles, and providing for the family, moreso. I like that my husband believes in traditional family roles because our goals and purpose align. His work ethic is strong, so I knew he would be capable of bringing in enough for us to live, and yeah....you gotta live!
edited to add:
Of course....we starting dating in our early teen years....I guess I got lucky!
------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com"> http://eggsineachbasket.blogspot.com/
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 09 November 2009 at 11:19pm
For me, money is not a deciding factor but ambition/drive is. I'm not interested in someone who thinks bludging off me (or someone else) is an acceptable way to live their life. We're lucky coz DH's job brings in enough $$ for me not to work. If it didn't we would change our lifestyle so I would still be able to stay home with the kids. So in that sense, no $$ is not important. But you still need to be able to live!
------------- SJ
Callum - Dec 2008
Daniel - Oct 2010
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 10 November 2009 at 7:31am
Money doesn't mean a thing - I married DH when he was a student Actually, he still is. Although he gets paid to study now. I was more than happy to be the wage-earner while he wasn't.
At the same time, like so many others have mentioned, things like work ethic and responsibility are really really important. DH has those in bundles.
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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 10 November 2009 at 7:35am
I met DH at the end of sixth form so I had no idea what he would be when he grew up lol.
Like Lilfatty - DH was hot and we were happy.
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 10 November 2009 at 8:40am
Its definitely a deciding factor for me. Like fattartsrock during my teenage years mainly we were dirtpoor and I hated it. The stress was enormous and theres no way I'd go through that again. Of course drive and good money management abilities are included in that deciding factor.
Luckily DP is on a fairly good wage - we have enough to pay the bills, eat well and do things we enjoy. He has the potential to earn alot more specially if we moved but its not about him earning as much money as possible just about earning enough money so we don't have to stress too much unless we choose too (like ATM )...
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Posted By: ohanlon82
Date Posted: 10 November 2009 at 9:03am
I am the same as lilfatty... DH is pretty easy on the eye
Also DH and i started going out at school he had a partime job but to be honest i had no clue on what he was going to do with his life.. As it turns out he has done alot - he says alot to do with having a great supportive wife LOL
(DH words not mine i promise)
Money is not everything but it does help.. Enough to pay the bills and bit left over is great
------------- http://lb2f.lilypie.com/TikiPic.php/RPaODBg.jpg
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Posted By: surfergirl
Date Posted: 10 November 2009 at 10:17am
It's not EVERYTHING, but it sure helps.
So many people argue because of a lack of money (or poor management of the money they have). I'm lucky that I've always made good money, so it hasn't been a deciding factor in relationships for me, but in saying that 'bludgers' would not make it past the front door. I find ambition and drive (which in a roundabout way often leads to financial sucess) VERY sexy in a man!
------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com">
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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 10 November 2009 at 10:56am
Yes, money is an important factor, however if he doesn't have money right now he would definitely need ambition. To me ambition is the most attractive thing in a man, I would never be with someone who just settles for a low paying dead end job because to me that means that they are unmotivated in life. eg. I would never marry a rubbish collector even if he was the nicest, most attractive man on earth because he has no drive to better himself.
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 10 November 2009 at 11:02am
I'd say yes it does matter, being without it sucks. Its not so much the amount you earn but the way you go about it, I work and I expect DH to as well.
Oh and I'm with lilfatty, looks count, I've had a rich BF before Dh but he was ugly. Got a be with someone I can wake up to in the morning.
The uniform has some appeal too . The military does offer some perks and security of employment but the pay sucks compared to the real world.
------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Angel June 2012
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 10 November 2009 at 11:05am
It wouldn't be the deciding factor, but it would be one of them.
I hate not having any money but that's because we have 2 young children. We have a lot of ambition and in say 5 years time we'll be quite well off. Part of what attracted me to DH was knowing he had a career already (plus like the others said, he was hot lol)
I grew up pretty poor due to my dad having a major accident. Mum didn't give up on him, she went out and work 70+ hours a week when I was younger to strive for more, and now they're very well off. So, no I don't think its everything, but it sure helps and there'd be a lot less stress in our lives if we had a bit more money (which there will be next year when I return to the workforce).
I wouldn't date a bludger either surfergirl - I think its easy to spot people with no ambition a mile away.
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 10 November 2009 at 11:12am
Wow I guess we're all different. I'd happily marry a rubbish collector, if he was happy in his job, and if together we could afford to live off our incomes.
At the same time, I wouldn't marry either a rubbish collector or a top-flight CEO if he was liable to drink/gamble/otherwise waste whatever money he did bring in.
I'd probably be more likely to marry a garbage man who was happy in his job and careful with what he had, and end up poorish, than marry a CEO who was out all hours, too busy with his work to spend time with his family and liable to cheat on me with his PA , and end up rich (not that all rubbish men or CEOs fit those stereotypes at all!)
To be fair, I don't imagine either a garbage man or a CEO would have the kind of personality that suited me, although I guess it's possible...
Money is a huge stressor in relationships, and I'm very keen to have enough to live on... but I guess definitions of 'enough to live on' vary.
ETA that that's only my opinion, LittleSal, your also makes total sense - I wouldn't like to hurt your feelings, because you're a lovely person
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 10 November 2009 at 11:16am
Making my own money and being able to support myself is more important to me, I've been in and out of work for the last year, and its been really tough struggling to meet our financial commitments and I've hated having to ask DH to support me. I would love to not have to worry about where the money for the next bill is coming from.
I have seen a number of senior managers sacrifice their families for their careers and I wouldn't do that either, there needs to be balance that seems to be what working life is all about these days.
------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Angel June 2012
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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 10 November 2009 at 11:39am
Kandice wrote:
To me money is nothing, i would rather be happy than rich. |
Money doesn't buy happiness but it sure helps and I think the two quite often go hand-in-hand. If you make the right choices in life you shouldn't have to choose between the two.
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Posted By: NewPhoenix
Date Posted: 10 November 2009 at 2:37pm
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 10 November 2009 at 2:46pm
I totally agree with all the ladies who said ambition is important.
Its not that either of my parents lacked ambition, but they lacked self belief that they were worth more than minimum wage, so both worked jobs where they got absolutely walked all over and taken advantage of for next to nothing.
Alot of it is upbringing though. I remember when I breifly flirted with the idea of going to med school, my Dad laughing at me and saying tht OUR kind of people (poor, blue collar) aren't Dr's. our kind of people work in factories and supermarkerts, and why would I want to go to uni for 6 years when I would just end up having lots of kids and not working anyway. Mum felt the same. Sad, really.
Dad was a bker and could have made alot more money if he believed he was worth it.
at 15 I decided that I didn't want to live life like my parents had, barely existing, so went out of my way to study hard and apply forj obs "out of my league" lol, and you know what? I always got them and I've always been paid rather well. Ambition and self belief.
You are right, tho, money dosen' t make you happy, but it does help. Money, or lack of it made my home a very unhappy one growing up, and still makes my family unhappy today.
------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 10 November 2009 at 3:08pm
interesting thread:)
i married a carpenter..who gets paid well but due to the contract he is on doesn't get holidays(its built into his wage) and it drives me mental.I'd rather he got less and had holidays!!!! anyway back to the point..
we both suck with money..me esp which isnt good but we do have enough..of course we could do with more like everyone!:) enough money to not stress about things is important and ambition as everyone says..
I would also have married a rubbish guy if he was happy and we could live on the money... the great thing about Dh's job (as much as i hate some parts of it) is it has enabled me to stay at home with Ethan...
but in general I'd rather be happy and average :)
------------- Mum to two amazing boys!
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Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 10 November 2009 at 10:37pm
I would also marry a rubbish collector if he was happy in his job. I don't believe someone's job necessarily defines a person. What I would hate is if someone just hated their job but "lived with it" because they couldn't be bothered making a change.
I grew up in a quite poor family, at times, as well (food parcels, running out of toilet paper, etc). But to me, love definitely trumps money. We always had everything we needed, and that's the most important thing. It would definitely make things easier, I think, if we were a bit better off than we are... some security would be nice I guess. But we have all of our day-to-day needs covered.
While it doesn't bother me that we don't have a lot, it would definitely bother me if my DH sat on his bum all day, and wasn't willing to work as hard as he can to support our family. Lucky for me, DH is a really hard worker. And he loves his job (he is a chef).
It would be nice not to have to worry so much about where money will come from for bills, Dr's visits, extra milk/bread/fruit etc. but that's life. We manage.
------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years).
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 10 November 2009 at 11:20pm
I grew up in a pretty low income household, noones fault, just the way things panned out .
I don't want my kids to grow up with the same worries , so yeah it is sort of a deciding factor .
But I would still put love and health and happiness before anything else , I would rather be alive , basically , there are plenty of people (im thinking of my friend ) who didn't get a chance to enjoy their happiness
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 11 November 2009 at 8:11am
LittleBug wrote:
I would also marry a rubbish collector if he was happy in his job. I don't believe someone's job necessarily defines a person. What I would hate is if someone just hated their job but "lived with it" because they couldn't be bothered making a change. |
I agree with this. DH is a digger operator. It's not the highest paying job in the world, in fact it's not great paying at all, nor is it at all glamourous. However, he loves what he does, and he makes enough to enable me to stay at home with some sacrifices. I would rather he earns what he does now, and is happy, then going for some other higher paying job simply for the money and hating it, because then his unhappiness would come home with him.
Also, I'm fairly sure Emma's DP Willie is a rubbish truck driver, or works at the local tip or something....I don't think it really says anything about him as a person.
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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 11 November 2009 at 10:48am
Being successful and ambitious in a fulfilling career can often lead to happiness. You don't have to choose one or the other, and life is way too short to work in a job that you don't enjoy.
I wouldn't marry a rubbish collector even if he was 100% happy in his job as ambition is one of the values I place at the top of my list. Everyone looks for different things in men.
And rightly or wrongly, your job does largely define you in society.
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 11 November 2009 at 10:59am
I'd marry a rubbish collector .. those men usually have HOT HOT HOT bods .. I mean you do have to look at these men every single day .. day in day out!
------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months)
I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 11 November 2009 at 10:59am
That's very true, LittleSal. Just because I personally tend to equate high-earning positions to stress and long hours, there are some people who will be at their happiest when challenged in that way. And to a degree, a little extra money does make for a happier and healthier lifestyle.
I'm keen on ambition too, but the kind I tend to go for is ambition to do the best job possible of the job you choose. There's other kinds of ambition as well, so I wouldn't necessarily rule out garbage collectors as having none. I understand where you're coming from, though.
It's unrelated, but kind of related - I tend to favour academic chaps. I enjoy learning myself, and just like smart guys. When I met DH, he was farming. He was happy in his job, and although it didn't use as much of his academic potential has his research does now, he still had that, and I was still attracted to him. So I can imagine falling for a rubbish man who was motivated and driven, but focused it on other areas of his life, perhaps?
It's good we're all different Otherwise we'd all be fighting over the same chaps, and the others would feel all left out
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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 11 November 2009 at 11:07am
Hopes wrote:
It's good we're all different Otherwise we'd all be fighting over the same chaps, and the others would feel all left out  |
EXACTLY! And all rubbish collectors would be sad and lonely and their hot bods would be sitting home on a Saturday night going to waste
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 11 November 2009 at 11:08am
LittleSal wrote:
Hopes wrote:
It's good we're all different Otherwise we'd all be fighting over the same chaps, and the others would feel all left out  |
EXACTLY! And all rubbish collectors would be sad and lonely and their hot bods would be sitting home on a Saturday night going to waste  |
Hehehehehe
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 11 November 2009 at 12:46pm
It was the uniform that did it for me
I know a few rugby guys that used to do the rubbish collection to keep fit.
My cousin used to be a rubbish collector even he had ambition as he bought the truck.
------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Angel June 2012
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 11 November 2009 at 2:09pm
mrsg1 wrote:
It was the uniform that did it for me
I know a few rugby guys that used to do the rubbish collection to keep fit.
My cousin used to be a rubbish collector even he had ambition as he bought the truck. |
Actually I must confess .. the first time I saw DH he was in his dress uniform *swoon*
------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months)
I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 11 November 2009 at 2:17pm
LOL I know a rubbish guy who started his own rubbish business and has basically taken over the town as the most popular collector! He lievs behind my parents so I've known him for like a decade and hes awesome. Hes hot too but about 20 years older than me soooo I admire from afar
I think DP looks quite yummy in his engineering gears, welding helmet on his head, big leather boots and grubby as http://www.dogmall.co.uk/dog-toys/dog-throw-toys/"> he doesn't understand why but he likes that I like hahahahaha.....
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Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 11 November 2009 at 2:51pm
fattartsrock wrote:
I totally agree with all the ladies who said ambition is important.
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I completely agree with this.
Ambitious to be rich is does not work for me as personally I find that immeasurable.
Ambitious to be or do something does. This is what DH is and he always likes to have a goal on the horizon.
From when we met right up until 3 months before the girls were born, I had the secure well paid job while DH 'experimented' with different careers as he had a tendency to get bored after 6 months.
He now earns more than I ever did and finally found a job that keeps his mind active.
He also has a hobby/obsession to keep the rest of his mind active which he hopes to generate an income from eventually.
We are lucky, we have a comfortable life. Thankfully I don't have to work ( I do p/t for sanity reasons). If I did work full time we would have a VERY comfortable life but it's not what's important to us as a family.
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 11 November 2009 at 3:15pm
Ewwwwww the rubbish guys here are all over 40, REALLY fat, hairy shouldered and grooooooossssss.
------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 11 November 2009 at 3:18pm
fattartsrock wrote:
Ewwwwww the rubbish guys here are all over 40, REALLY fat, hairy shouldered and grooooooossssss. |
Another reason to live in the big smoke - ours are late 20ish, tanned, lean, muscly, its my own little diet coke break
------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months)
I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 11 November 2009 at 4:48pm
Ha ! not where I live !
I feel a sense of injustice !
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 11 November 2009 at 4:55pm
Hopes wrote:
I'm keen on ambition too, but the kind I tend to go for is ambition to do the best job possible of the job you choose. There's other kinds of ambition as well, so I wouldn't necessarily rule out garbage collectors as having none. I understand where you're coming from, though.
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I completely agree with this!!! You said that really well Hopes, exactly what I was thinking
I think you can be ambitious and still be a rubbish collector, Just like you can be a lazy pr*ck and have little or no ambition and work in an investment bank or IT (trust me, met plenty of d*ckheads like that here!)
------------- SJ
Callum - Dec 2008
Daniel - Oct 2010
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 11 November 2009 at 4:57pm
Yeah EWWW the rubbish guys here are pretty dorky and ick looking too, sadly. The rubbish is collected every day and they are lovely blokes who wave and call out HI to Callum, but hot? NOT AT ALL. Bummer.
------------- SJ
Callum - Dec 2008
Daniel - Oct 2010
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 11 November 2009 at 8:30pm
We used to get some of the crusaders collecting our rubbish when I was younger Was a nice wee break from studying on a Thursday arvo Shame now that Chch has bins you don't see the rubbish collectors (or that might be a good thing cos most of them aren't that hot these days).
Yeah it was the uniform (well actually it was the mention of the army, which I knew meant uniform) that did it for me. DH still gets lucky everytime he comes home from a parade in his SD's (the suit uniform). I think maybe its the medals though which equals ambition and success. Hmm there we go, its basically his ambition that makes him hot here too
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 12 November 2009 at 7:16am
I haven't even seen our rubbish collectors - I'm always at work. If I'm ever home on a Monday, I'm going to pay attention
ETA that I was quoted. I feel special. Thanks kiwisj 
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Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 12 November 2009 at 11:52am
I met a nice guy a wee while ago that I went out on a date with, and I have to admit his lack of money really put me off
I'd never felt money, or lack thereof, was something that was part of my decision making process when it came to partners before, but this guy was even skinter than I was at the time which is saying a lot!! I met up with him and his son for a coffee at a local cafe, and we paid for our own coffees. Fair enough. But then we all went back to my place for lunch, via the supermarket to get ham/bread etc etc, and he didn't offer to contribute a penny! Here was me, single mother on benefit, son's father not supporting him etc etc, and he couldn't even contribute $5 toward a lunch that him and his son ate the bulk of.
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Posted By: Mama-Me
Date Posted: 12 November 2009 at 12:01pm
Enough money to cover the bills and to be able to enjoy the odd meal out or flight back home would be just dandy!
I don't believe looks are everything, I was more attracted to my husband lovely personality - looks and money is all a bonus!
Happiness and love is more important xxx
------------- http://www.thebabyview.com/" rel="nofollow - The Baby View for mums who love to shop
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 12 November 2009 at 8:29pm
joshierocks wrote:
I met a nice guy a wee while ago that I went out on a date with, and I have to admit his lack of money really put me off
I'd never felt money, or lack thereof, was something that was part of my decision making process when it came to partners before, but this guy was even skinter than I was at the time which is saying a lot!! I met up with him and his son for a coffee at a local cafe, and we paid for our own coffees. Fair enough. But then we all went back to my place for lunch, via the supermarket to get ham/bread etc etc, and he didn't offer to contribute a penny! Here was me, single mother on benefit, son's father not supporting him etc etc, and he couldn't even contribute $5 toward a lunch that him and his son ate the bulk of. |
Good Gosh!!! thats baaaaaaaaadddddddd!!
------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 12 November 2009 at 10:16pm
Money certainly wasn't what attracted me to DH (it was his hot bod ) but I've often joked that if he dies first I'll marry for money.
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Posted By: scribe
Date Posted: 12 November 2009 at 11:28pm
Money certainly wasn't what attracted me to my DH - we were both students - and on our first date he not only didn't offer to pay for my movie ticket (I'm an old fashioned girl, I like a guy to at least offer), he pulled out a voucher for a free ticket for himself. He's been making up for it ever since!
Recently he pursued a possible career change which I completely supported him on, even though his salary would be cut by half - because although he earns heaps now he hates it
However, although I don't consider myself to be someone who cares about money - ie, our happiness is more important than what house we live in or what car we drive - I do like to spend it ... and if my lifestyle was affected - if we had to live on rice and potatoes, or I had to go back to work doing a job I didn't really want to do, then money would matter.
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Posted By: kiwikid
Date Posted: 13 November 2009 at 12:37am
I want to make a sweeping statement like Money doesnt matter when you have it but I know that really isnt true, plenty of people have gone from having loads to not much and been happier for it but at the end of the day lack of money often causes stress which in turn affects your quality of life and hence your happiness so it makes me say yes that money does matter.
But I think the caveat on that is how much is enough depends on the person, to be able to pay the bills comfortably and not go into a blind panic at Christmas time (even if you have to save a little each month over the year) would give most relationships a good platform to work from without arguments and stress over money.
DH came from what appeared to be well off family, which to me coming from a family where Dad was unemployed for a few years when I was young and has always had money hanging over our heads, it was rather exciting. Buuuuuut the reality was his parents lived beyond their means and now in their early 60's have had to sell their house and go renting to get on top their finances and stop paying on a huge mortgage from business ventures / boats etc. And my parents have a tiny mortgage and a very nice property by the beach in Papamoa now.
The bigger thing to me is is that person responsible with the money the do have, I just cant stand it when people 'waste' money they dont really have on gambling and other bad habits (smoking / drinking etc) when their family suffers for it.
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 13 November 2009 at 7:13am
Oh, I totally agree about the waste. Kiwikid. It's hard to understand people who would smoke / drink / gamble away most of their money, and have their kids go wanting cos there's not enough money left over for the things they need in life. Grrrr!!
I'm probably particularly sensitive to that right now, since we're struggling to have kids, and it just doesn't seem fair that some people treat them with so little love and care, but can have them in bucketloads if they want. Ah well, such is life.
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Posted By: scribe
Date Posted: 13 November 2009 at 9:45am
But at the same time, Hopes, money or the things it buys doesn't matter to children - children from poorer families often have the best memories of childhood (as long as their parents can keep their money worries from them), where as part of the reason my parents had a messy divorce was that dad was putting in long hours at a job he didn't like, but which paid well, and coming home to work on our farm and renovate our rambling old house - and he was looking for an 'out'.
Most people have said that money isn't everything, but I'd like to point out that to some people it is really important. My friend's mother went to Dunedin to study purely to nab a doctor, and she did - and I guess that's worked out well for her, she now has four children and a beautiful house with a swimming pool and a tennis court, a holiday home, and expensive hobbies like skiing, jetboating etc, regular trips to Europe and Whistler (jealous yet?) ... but I hope that our generation would put that energy into making money ourselves, rather than finding a man who will make it for us... I can't think of another example amongst my friends, but most of my friends have chosen well-paying career fields like law and finance, where as I've always been attracted to creative occupations like journalism and design where the pay sucks but the work is fun.
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 13 November 2009 at 10:02am
Oh, absolutely, Anakk. I think it's more the attitude that gets to me - one where your drinking or gambling or whatever is more important to you than your children. The kind of family where Dad heads off to play pokies when the kids don't have shoes and jackets.
Plenty of families don't have much money, but the parents do the best they can to look after / love their kids. Like you say, I'm sure those kids are happy and loved, and a credit to their parents.
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 13 November 2009 at 10:04am
Money may not be everything, but I'd rather have it than go without. Children to do know the difference between having and not having, it was easy to see the kids who had everything when I was at school.
I know my mum spent a fortune on fancy school shoes so I could have the same as the others, and that's with school uniform. We usually got what we wanted we just had to wait for it.
I'd much rather be comfortable than poor.
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Angel June 2012
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Posted By: Tui89
Date Posted: 13 November 2009 at 12:32pm
If you know you want to bring a baby into the world, then financial security is important, being able to provide for your baby is essential. Fortunately we live in an awesome country with heaps of help for families in heaps of ways! As long as I can take care of my family and we are happy and close, thats all that matters to me.
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Posted By: Febgirl
Date Posted: 13 November 2009 at 12:49pm
Money isn't everything, but it is important. When we got together I was a poor student and DH was earning the big bucks in comparison, 10 years later I'm earning the equivalent or more than him. To me, having money equals freedom and less stress - life is stressful enough without having to worry about how you're going to pay the rent/mortage next week or how to feed your family. I also see it as an equality thing - if anything happened to DH, I know that I would be able to support my family.
I will say though, you do learn to live within your means, and the more money you make, the more you tend to spend...
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Posted By: NovemberMum
Date Posted: 13 November 2009 at 1:42pm
I am fortunate enough that my husband has a reasonably well paying job.
When we first got together he was on a massive $22k and that was heaps to us 11-12 years ago. he of course is earning a lot more than that now :)
I dont think I could have gone out with a guy who had no driving ambition eg had just wanted to be a trolley boy for the rest of his working life..no offence to trolley boys but yeah that sort of job doesnt really pay a mortgage.
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 13 November 2009 at 3:21pm
Money? No
Ambition and driving force? YES.
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