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Routine vs Demand Feeding

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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=2984
Printed Date: 06 April 2026 at 6:44am
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Topic: Routine vs Demand Feeding
Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Subject: Routine vs Demand Feeding
Date Posted: 27 June 2006 at 8:04pm
I'm curious - who demand feeds and who sticks to a routine? We have allowed Joshua to set his own routine, with a bit of encouragement around night time from us and have now established a routine that suits us all and stops us having to wake him when he is sleeping. We bathe him at 5pm, then some cuddle and play time, then a big feed then sleep by 6.30pm. This gives mummy and daddy our evenings together Joshua usually sleeps til 12.30 or 1.00am, then a short feed, then sleeps til 4 or 5am, then another short feed then sleeps til about 8am. I get him up, feed, dressed, play and then back down again at 9.30am til about 11am. The rest of the day is pretty fluid - usually just round home and the odd short nap, or out and about where he will sleep in the buggy. I'm pretty happy with what we've established with us following his lead, but I would love to hear what others do/have done or plan to do

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Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006



Replies:
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 27 June 2006 at 8:11pm
When Jake was born, we did the same - let him set his own routine, but with Taine, it was essential he had a routine really early. So we were much harsher on him much earlier. He gets up around 6, feed, change and back to bed at 7. Another sleep at 9/10, another around 2, and another around 4:30. Bed at 6:30pm.
As for Jake, up at 7,breakfast, then second breakfast with mum (he's ahobbit), lunch, nap at 12 (or earlier if narky) afternoon tea around 3, tea at 5, bed between 6:30 and 7


Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 27 June 2006 at 8:23pm
Clare - Was this routine started from when Joshua was a newborn? We would like to get our baby into a routine (rather than demand feed) but not sure from when or how or what is "reasonable" for a newborn.

Any advice from others would be great too

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http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 27 June 2006 at 8:29pm
we routine feed from day one well the neonatal got him into a routine so it was pretty easy for us. He was started on 2 hourly then by the time he came home 6 days later he was 4 hourly feed. They did it by increasing the time between feeding him half an hour each day till it built up to 4 hours. It was great, he was feed at 2,6,10 and it worked for us all the way through. My midwife did say that the first day you demand feed really to settle them and let them adjust then start with a routine if you want to. For us it was fantastic and I will be doing it again. I knew when he needed to be feed and could plan my day easily. We also had the advantage of knowing how much he was getting though because we bottle feed.


Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 27 June 2006 at 9:20pm
we demand fed both our girls for the first little while - of course keeping things real though - lol not feeding every 2 seconds - if they were unsettled and had just been fed then that was just too bad. after a week or so they both just fell into their own routine and we pretty much kept to that and as they grew and changed we adjusted too - but really good to remember that no more than an hour up at a time is all baby can handle - if you keep them up too long you can miss the tired signs and just get the cranky icky baby who then wont sleep, doesn't want a feed and thinks it's good to scream the house down. Not nice. a 1 hour turn-around time is all they need. lol.

to be completely truthful - i still demand feed at night cos i just can't be bothered trying to resettle ayja in the wee hours of the morning and have her screaming for hours when i have to get up for class or work etc.. but most nights she only wakes at 11pm and sometimes at about 4ish, other nights she sleeps right thru. thing is - we used to have to get up and give paris back her dummy and resttle her heaps when she was this age too - although i always thought that she slept thru, if i think about it she really was quite unsettled.



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Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja



Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 27 June 2006 at 10:05pm
I was a Routine Mum and I will be doing it again this time too. I believe its good for baby and good for the rest of the family too - inc MUM.
I dont believe it depends on the baby either as we are the ones that know whats best for them....Arent we? Also I found routine feeding great as from when she was about 3 weeks old I would cram all her feeds in during the day 6am -10:30pm and she would sleep all night. YAY!(apart from when it was growth spurt time)

I see so many Mums who let their Babies and little ones run circles around them and its really sad cause you can see they are absolutely out of control and buggered.

Probably sounds like I am a Hitler or something!

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Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 27 June 2006 at 10:25pm
Demand fed and it worked well for us. She had her own routine of sleeping for 3 or 4 hours then having a feed and back to sleep for a while though.

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http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 8:26am
Routine for us and would definitely do the same again. I am a big fan of Gina Fords Contented Little Baby routine, it has worked so well for us from the first week. I was going to wait until she was a few months old before starting a routine, but after a couple of days of crying hungry unsettled baby we started the routine. I loved that I knew she was ready for bed or hungry by looking at the clock, and could plan my day easily around sleeps. Midwives told us to feed 4 hourly, but if I were to do it again I would feed 3 hourly for the first few days between 6am and midnight, to help with your milk supply and then once your milk is in properly start with the routines.

Basically with a newborn it is up at 7am (feed, kick, play) back to bed at 8.30, up from 10-11.30, up from 2-3.30, up at 5 (feed, bath, feed) in bed by 7pm, then a top up feed at 10.30/11. Then hopefully you are only up once in the night. Well it worked for us anyway...

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Aimee

Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08


Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 8:27am
Oh and one more thing, the book "oh Baby..." by Kathy Fray is great for a middle of the road, common sense approach to sleep. Would thoroughly recommend it!

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Aimee

Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08


Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 9:01am
I demand fed both of mine for the first couple of weeks, then I got them into a 4-hourly routine of up, change, feed, play, back to bed... and extended the amount of time they were up as they got bigger.

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Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys


Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 9:38am
im with Becca, i demand feed for the first 4 weeks, then once i was on bottle i went straight onto a four hourly routine of feeding and have been there every since

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http://lilypie.com">

http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 2:15pm
Excellent, thanks guys Seems to me that babies tend to slip into the 3/4 hourly routine themselves if they are demand fed, and those that are routine fed handle the same really well. I was concerned that Joshua was feeding more than most (Plunket came today and my little man is in the 75th percentile - wee buddha!!) but it seems all is as it should be. We had a few issues around daytime sleeps but used the tips on controlled crying in 'Babywise' and we seem to now have that sorted. He fed every three hours last night which was tough on me given he usually only wakes once or twice but I think he's going through a growth spurt.

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Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006


Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 2:29pm
That's great. Just keep in mind that this pattern will change with teething/sickness etc as he gets older

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http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: Alan & Bubbles Mummy
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 2:39pm
This is the one thing I have been debating. I am thinking I will demand feed till about 6 weeks' then try a routine. Only cause that way I can plan my time with Alan as he is still going to be little it would be nice to have planned time with him each day.

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http://lilypie.com">
[url=http://lilypie.com][/url


Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 2:53pm
I found that Jake took ages to get into a settled 1-2 hour daytime sleep routine. Even Taine doesn't sleep so long during the day. But we just continue putting him down at the same time. Jake was about 9 months and he'd have two naps of between 2-3 hours. When he was 14 months this went down to one sleep, but even now occasionally he'll need two. He's really good about having his nap now. I tell him it's bedtime - he'll get his blanket, kiss everyone in the room goodnight (this apparently took FOREVER at daycare), and lie down in his cot and go to sleep. He does this at night too. It's all about persistance.


Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 3:29pm
Legendary Liz! Your boys sound like they are doing really well I'm ok with leaving Joshie to cry a bit now - when he was just tiny I would be hovering outside the door bawling my eyes out while he was howling I would go in and pick him up after a while and ruin all the good work!!

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Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006


Posted By: baalamb
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 3:40pm
With routine feeding newborns, say if it was 3pm for their next feed and they're asleep, do you wake them? Or just let them sleep. I guess that would put your routine out, but I couldn't face waking bubs if she was tired but it was time for feeding.

Ooh all so confusing!


Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 5:01pm
Can I just say that I have found this thread to be really helpful keep it coming ladies!

All of the baby books I have talk only about demand feeding and I wasn't really comfortable with that as I know that hubby and I would struggle with the lack of routine. Now I feel a lot better that we can if we want try to get our bubs into a feed/sleep routine fairly early - always good to give yourself something to work towards too I think

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http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 5:21pm
baalamb - I always woke Hannah up when she was due for a feed. I would go into her room, open the curtains, unwrap her and then her wake up quietly in a few minutes - she always woke up happy like that!

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Aimee

Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08


Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 8:44pm
baalamb - I was demand feeding Hannah as a newborn and she slept really long stretches (like 5 hours between feeds) and then would be a guts trying to catch up feed lots (feeding hourly) and would end up getting extra windy. My midwife suggested not letting her go longer than 4 hours between feeds and that worked really well to try and establish a feeding pattern and to stop her driving me nuts by getting too hungry and then feeding and feeding and feeding!

Many people would bring out the "You never wake a sleeping baby" etc... but really, you do anything you can to stay sane, so I'm all for it if anyone has the same problem I did!!


Posted By: james
Date Posted: 29 June 2006 at 3:00pm
james is a damand feed baby but he would keep to the four hour feed time even when little so it worked for me

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<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a>


Posted By: Alan & Bubbles Mummy
Date Posted: 29 June 2006 at 3:08pm
I am deffently plannign to start a routine early on with this bub's I was never really one for routine with Alan, but when he got to about 9 month's I put one in place and it was the best thing ever. I plan to demand feed for the first six week's then start a routine.
This thread has been great like somone else said keep it coming.

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http://lilypie.com">
[url=http://lilypie.com][/url


Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 29 June 2006 at 10:20pm
yeah i think the second time around you just want to get time to sleep and do stuff and find time for other bubba too so routine's a good thing.

Lol Aimme - was reading the routine times you posted and Ayja was like that anyway - she must have read that book.. dunno how cos i never have.lol

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Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja



Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 29 June 2006 at 10:52pm

I demand fed both mine but they kinda had a routine within the first few weeks.

Xander was feeding 4 hourly then at 4pm hed have feed and one at 6pm then another at 8pm.

Harmony was a bit more demand fed as she would sometimes do 4 hrly but other times shed be 3 hours between 2 or 3 feeds but then cwould do 4 or 5 hours between other feeds the same day(weird kid)



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BECS
http://www.sparklee.com">
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days)


Posted By: 98765
Date Posted: 30 June 2006 at 4:46pm
I have a question what if they wake too early, say only sleep 4 45 mins when u were counting on 3? do u get them up and feed and play or do you u settle them down to try and get the extra 45 mins?

Jack wouldn't stick to a routine until he started solids that day he stopped wanting night feeds and would happily go 3 hours between feeds and have good daytime sleeps. Next baby i am having a routine as early as i can

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http://lilypie.com">
www.jackkeith.blogspot.com


Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 30 June 2006 at 6:35pm

I let Andrew set his routine and it worked really well. He settled into it is fast and was a sleep through the night baby by 3 months!!!!

On the other hand, an old friend set the routine for her child and he ws so grumpy. He was a baby that wanted to be feed lots not how much "dad" said he was to get (over controling and a general pain in the a**). If it was 2.45 and his feed was at 3pm she would wait that 15 minutes and he wouls scream and cry until he got is bottle. His mum kept saying to him, you have to wait it's not feeding time yet. It really upset me as he is a baby, he can't get his food like we can. Crying is a signal for food, he should get it when he wants it.

Hopefully you can settle into something with your baby.



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I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!



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