What does you hubby/partner do at home?
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Topic: What does you hubby/partner do at home?
Posted By: aimeejoy
Subject: What does you hubby/partner do at home?
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 8:42am
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What jobs does your hubby/partner do around the house? And what hours do they work?
We have been having "discussions" in our house at the hours Daniel has been working and I am getting super grumpy at doing EVERYTHING and him hardly seeing Hannah. He was leaving for work at 7.30am and getting home about 6.30pm. Now if he was getting paid a decent wage I wouldnt be so bothered but it works out to be about $10 an hour in the hand... We have come to a kind of compromise - he will now work 6am - 4.30pm so will see how that goes. I realise that when he gets home he is tired and just wants to relax, but so do I!! But I still have to put Hannah to bed, do the washing etc... Plus he gets to do things for himself on the weekend (like car stuff) while Saturday and Sunday are just another day for me. So other than having a bit of a rant (!) I was wondering if your partners are very helpful around the house! ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Replies:
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 9:10am
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I can totally understand where you are coming from. Although I dont have kids (yet) I work full time so does DH, however I get up earlier and come home a bit later than he yet I do most of the housework. By that I mean DH will do dishes with me but I do all the rest and one day I got sh*tty with him and told him that he needed to help more because it's half of his mess I'm cleaning which was unfair on me. He tried to inform me that girls do it faster and we don't hate it as much as guys which I quickly responded by informing him that I hate housework and the only reason I get it done faster than him is that I don't whine about it. I just get on with it! And now he helps me when he sees me cleaning which is nice.
But with the weekend thing DH and I have already agreed that once we do have kids that on the weekends we are going to equally spend time with them and if one of us wants to go out and do something the other needs to look after them. |
Posted By: Millie1976
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 9:21am
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Hey there,
I am in a similar situation to you Aimeejoy. I do ALL the house work, all the washing, cooking etc. The only thing that DH helps me with is doing the dishes but I have to ask him otherwise he will leave them to dry in the rack. Having said that he does do most of the renovations in the house i.e. painting for example as I don't want the fumes to harm the baby and he has gotten rid of some furniture in the house to make room for baby. He does have quite a stressful job and most days he just wants to sit down and watch the news etc etc but he has to understand that I work full time too AND I AM CARRYING HIS CHILD!! I do look forward to my maternity leave. My DH promised me that he will help me more when I get bigger - I said that he better otherwise I will just hire a cleaner ha ha. I guess in some ways I prefer to do some things myself as I know that I will do a better job and on the odd occassion when DH has done something for me he has done the job half properly. Hopefully things will change soon  ------------- Sebastien 2 years old Olivier 3 3/4 years old |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 9:43am
| Oh, Aimee, I am in the same boat as you. Because we've just moved, Lewis is still looking for a job. But he doesn't notice things being dirty. He'll do things, but leave a huge mess behind him. So he'll bathe the kids, but the bathroom looks like a bomb-site. And I leave it, just to prove a point....the point is missed, or stepped over to be more precise. And he has an icky habit of hanging wet towels over doors to dry. WE HAVE A TOWEL RACK!!!@!!!!! As you can tell, this is a bit of a sticky topic. lewis will do anything I ask, but the problem is, when there are tons of dishes on the bench, washing in the machine etc, it'\s pretty obvious what needs to be done right???? |
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 9:46am
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Kent leaves for work at 7am, and gets home just before 6pm
he does the 6pm (if hes home, sometimes he has to work late) and the 10pm feed, and takes over completely on a friday night, (doing all the feeding, changing, early morning getting up) until i get up on a saturday morning Kent will also look after Rhiannon most the day saturday so i can go do the things like grocery shopping etc. (will also help bath her if he is home when i do it)(will even get in the big bath on a weekend and have a bath with Rhiannon) He also folds the nappies, does the dishes, will also get up once or twice through the week to do the 6am feed but most importantly Kent gives Rhiannon and I lots of hugs and kisses and is always telling us he loves us. hmmm Kent does more than i thought he did, i think tonight i am going to cook him a nice dinner and tell him how much i appreciate what he is doing for me.  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 9:54am
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My DH works long hours too, and he is ok around teh house - but he only does routine stuff. Like if I cook then he will most times do teh dishes afterwards, but he wont walk past a counter that needs to be wiped down and stop and do it - he will just leave me to do it. Little things like that drive me mad. He tries to be helpful, but if I dont specify down to the last detail what I want him to help with I can forget about it - he will overlook it or do a half arsed job. oh wait the one thing he does really well is pick up teh dog poo and walk the dog - gotta give him his dues there he is very good about it i never have to nag him about that!
The thing that has been annoying me lately is taht I work full time now, and my maternity leave will be coming up in 9 weeks, and my dh seems to think this is "holiday" time - he is already talkign about me helping with his contracting business in the three months I have off (and by helping I mean doing heaps not just helping, cos I do stuff so much faster than he does - I just do it while he sits around stracthign his head about what order to do it in -so he loves to dump stuff on me because it's so much easier for him), he doesnt seems to understand that maternity leave is for bonding and recovery, he thinks it is one big holiday and actually thinks that after a week or two I will be back to normal...guess we will see how that one will work out ey? ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 10:06am
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Nathaniel leaves for the school just before 8am, and usually gets home around 5pm. Both the kids jump on him as soon as he gets home, so I help Nat detangle himself long enough that he can escape to the bedroom and get changed! Then he plays with them while I cook dinner. Oh, and Nat usually has more prep work to do during the evening as well.
We've agreed that I do the laundry and other housework, and Nat does the vacuuming and lawns, and we both do the dishes. I cook most nights, but thats more because we try to eat dinner around 5:30pm and Nat's not home in time to have it ready by then. He will barbeque the meat when the weather is warm enough for him to be outside that long, and he cooks in the weekends. As far as caring for the kids goes, I organise most of it but I can say "Will you do this?" and Nat takes over... the only thing Nat really prefers me to do is to change Josiah's dirty nappies because I can hold the little wriggler stiller than he can! In the weekends, Nat does most of the general care (especially of Josiah) as the kids don't leave him alone. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 10:42am
| ny DH is pretty good really even though I complain. He normally works 12pm till about 9 or 10pm this used to annoy me because Im always home by myself at night and cant do anything like a course or indoor netball cos Kobe is in bed at 7pm but when he works dayshift as he has been the last couple of weeks its worse because he is gone by 7am and doesnt get home till about 6 or 6.30pm by which time the hardest part is over with Kobe and he is just about ready for bed but gets all hyper cos daddy is home. As for housework well he did cook last night but that was cos the smell made me almost throw up but normally I cook, but we share most of the other stuff. Sometimes I do it all and get made then the next week I will do nothing and he does it all. Only thing he never thinks to do is clean, things like the toilet, vanity, shower etc apparently the bathroom fairy comes and cleans up the mess! |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 11:07am
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My hubby is an angel when it comes to these things....
Hubby works from 8am to 4.30 pm but most days he finishes any time between 2.30pm to 4pm. He comes home and my aunt (who looks after Zaara)leaves. So he entertaines Zaara and starts all the prep for dinner.... I come home at 5.15 - 5.30 and either look after Zaara or cook dinner, give Zaara a bath, iron or wash dishes, put Zaara to bed etc. Atish Also washes dishes and vacumes etc. On the weekend Atish and I clean the kitchen, bathroom, dust, do washing etc. Atish does spend a good chunck of Sat at soccer but he does loads of work around the house before and after. He also cuts the grass, cleans our cars etc..... Man while I write this.....I feel like I do nothing!! LOL But my main job is to look after and entertain Zaara. Dont get me wrong Aish spend time with her too...but when she gets grumpy.....I get her back.....quick.  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Lulu
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 11:23am
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I don't have any kids yet either, so my situation is different, but my DH works 5am to 10pm seven days a week from March to July and from 6am to 6pm Monday to Friday during the rest of the year. I am also employed full time, but my job has the hours of 8.30am to 5pm, Monday to Friday. So the maths are simple. He works longer and harder, so I am happy to keep the home fires burning. Whenever we are building or renovating DH does all that stuff, so I am happy to cook, clean, make lunches, brekky in bed, etc. Like Dr Phil says 'do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?' That's my philosophy anyway... ------------- Lou http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: Leem&Bridge
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 12:23pm
| my partner leaves house at 8.30 gets home at 5.30 sits on his butt and does nothing! i do everything round the house and everything to do with bridgette once a month he will maybe dry the dishes but very rarely, he will play with bridgette for bout hour wehn he gets home but then i have to bath dress her give her a bottle etc as well as clean up, weekends he does absolutley nuttin to he really is a slack buggar :) he goes to golf oneday in the weekend (which annoys me dont get any me time) and the other day he lazing around. I have tried asking him to do things having set things for him to do yelled cried etc but nothing has worked he jsut lazy |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 12:39pm
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I knew it wasnt just me, I just needed to hear it - so thanks!!
I think my main issue is that he has no initiative at home to do things, I have to ask/nag (which I really hate doing) because I know he's been working too... The other thing is if I leave him with Hannah I need to be really specific about everything, even down to reminding him to change nappies else he just doesnt think about it! Think its time to have another wee talk...  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 12:48pm
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hehe DH is shocking at taking initative. I've done a few little tests with him. Like last week I decided he was gonna have to start the dishes for once rather than me and he didn't, we ended up using damn near ever dish we had and even then I had to take the initative. Same with washing or anything like that otherwise we get to sunday night and he might think about washing his work clothes and then complain they are wet in the morning. *rolls eyes*
We have already discussed (in great depth) about what I'd expect from him when it comes to having kids. I don't nag him about anything and I told him that if I start nagging he better watch out! hehehe |
Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 1:04pm
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Hmmm Mark is pretty good as a rule. He takes care of the rubbish....the lawns....our dogs mess and poos (thank god) and he does the dishes every night as I cook every night. (which I dont mind cause I hate people cooking in my kitchen - they make too much mess).
He does his own work washing generally and I do all the sheets and Paiges and mine etc. As for those little things like cleaning the toilet and washing floors...I do all that. He just does not have the initiative or notice it. I think if I asked he probably would tho! -------------  
 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 1:41pm
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Sorry to say but I also have a fabulous hubby...he doesn't always take the intiative for little things but that's well and truely made up for with what he does do...espcially since I fell pregnant.
He does overtime at moment 2 nights a week plus Saturdays. He still does the washing and what little ironingwe have (we only need to iron his work shirts and my uniform so it's not much thank goodness!), cooks dinners, cleans the bathroom each week and is normally the one to do the vaccuming and put the dishes through the dishwasher. He's also the one who cleans out the rat cage to save me hauling a heavy cage in and out of the house. Now I also feel like I do nothing!! *lol* I usually do all the other stuff like cleaning the rest of the kitchen, living room, dusting, I do more of the cooking again now that meat doesn't make me want to yak (unlike the first trimester!), keeping the bedroom tidy, stuff like that. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Alan & Bubbles Mummy
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 1:51pm
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I do all the housework I don't expect Pete to do wasing, cooking, cleaning or anything like that. The only thing I ask of him is to help with dish's now and then and to spend as much time as possible with Alan. If he is with Alan and keeping him happy in the evening while I do stuff that is good with me. I guess the way I see it is I am very old fashoned in that way I think I think if I was working I would expect more, but I am at home all day and really there is no reason why I can't get the thing's that need to be done done during the day. I can't drive tho so thing's like supermarket shoping hew either does or at least's come's with me. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
[url=http://lilypie.com]  [/url
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 2:24pm
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Dh works long hours 8am till (um he gets home most nights around 6.30pm but he has to drive 1/2 an hour) some days hes at work till 10pm and others if they have an upgrade (hes a network admin) he can be home after midnight... anyway when we moved intogether as we both worked we agreeed I cooked and he did the dishes. His job got easier around a year ago when we got a dish washer - he still complains about dish wahsing though. I do most of the work during the week - well all.. in the weekend he is helpful in tidying the house and vacuming with out me asking but is never too keen on the bathroom - which I have to ask him to do it and even then its not to my standards of clean. He doesn't d the washing which doesn't bother me as I get fustrated if he puts colours with white or towels with clothes (pet hates of mine) but I would like him to think oh theres some washing in the machine I'll hang it out - after all it is his clothes too. But then he does most of the 'man' jobs around the house. We are in the process of redecorating Josh's room (which was the spare room at the other end of the house) so the baby can have his room normally I would paint the ceilings but being pregnant I can't (or won't for that matter) so things have been a wee bit slow going. we have the paint, wallpaper and new carpet just need his a into g to get it done. Josh is very keen to get in there. Josh my son is the lawnmower man as he is 13 years and both Brooke (8) and Josh empty the dishwasher. I still feel like i do most of the house work but every little bit helps.
Oh my grumble today is:: I am off work sick, when DH is off work sick he doesn't have to get up in the morning to sort out the kids and get them to school as I do it every morning anyhow and if your sick you need to stay in bed longer. So this mornign I thought that he may just may offer to take the kids to school. NOPE!! I had to get up and get their lunch ready (josh does the breakfast and feeds the animals) then when I said about it to DH he gets all sh*tty and makes me feel bad about saying it. Then he goes to go then tell me go back to bed he'll take the kids to school - which I did after complaining he could of offered before I had to mention it(and got up). All I wanted him to do is offer with out me saying about it and 'making' a fuss about it. Anyhow thats my moan for today. ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 2:37pm
?????? You must be a superwoman or have a very good sleeper, or a child who easily entertains himself
Ella is having longer naps at the moment which is great but as a general rule since she was around 13 months she has been sleeping once a day for one hour. not much time to do everything around the house and when do you get a rest? We go out in the morning and most afternoons as I hate being at home, we have a really small house though. I do agree with having someone to entertain Ella at night being a great thing while I do the chores around the house.. DP goes to work about 8.30am and gets home when I ring up and remind him to.. self employed, has so much work to do. Usually around 6pm. In the summer it's much easier as I will often feed Ella dinner then we'll go into town and walk home with DP. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Alan & Bubbles Mummy wrote:Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 2:56pm
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Well, we'd planned to both work (me part-time, hubby full-time) for the beginnings of our marriage until we had a family on the way, but circumstances intervened and I ended up having to work very very part-time. So we both agreed that hubby would support us financially, and I'd run the house and work outside the home to the extent that I could. This means I'm the housework queen 'round here!! The whole lot is my job. I expected hubby to help with the dishes each evening - handwashing dishes are a group task in my book, and I've always liked the 'if you didn't cook, you help clean' rule of thumb. That said, he's spent the last half year working 7.30am to dinner time, then every evening on a temporary (but not small, dag nab it!) project. So there's simply not time for him to help with any housework! That project should be all over in a month or so, then there's getting ready for baby's arrival to do, so he'll still be a busy boy! I'd rather this now than when we have baby here. But after then, the dishes get re-negotiated! It'd be totally different if I were out at work every day, I've gotta say. I feel for ladies trying to get reluctant men to life a finger... we wouldn't divide jobs half and half if we were both working outside the home, and we both know that already! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: Sarah Beth
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 4:58pm
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I am not pregnant yet nor do I have kids but we tend to split the chores. I do the dishes, he cooks, I do the washing he vaccums, I dust and clean bathroom, he does gardening.
has worked well for us so far... I know I am very lucky though and as he was very independent from when we met it just continued ------------- "> 
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Posted By: stevie_88
Date Posted: 28 June 2006 at 10:14pm
My partner works 5am until about 5pm and travels an hour to and from work as well-sometimes more. 
I stay at home and do all the cleaning and washing etc. and don't mind since Carey earns the money for us to live. 
I got sick from this pregnancy and was told not to work on the boats and then found it impossible to get another job since no one wanted to hire a pregnant woman. Plus- no maternity leave/pay whatever for me as I was only a trainee.
I don't sleep much at all now. Maybe 2-3 hours a night and I might rest for an hour during the day- AND I'M EXHAUSTED!  
I just want a massage for an hour or at least half- but by the time he gets home he's exhausted to... ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Date Posted: 29 June 2006 at 4:42am
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We have a pretty good split of the domestic stuff - I do all the cooking, he does all the laundry. We both do things like the dishes, cleaning etc, but I do more general tidying and he does the random things like changing lightbulbs and washing the car. I do the bulk of the caring for Joshua, but Jono gives him his bath most evenings and has quite a bit of playtime with him too. He works from home which often clouds the work/home distinction, but I try to leave him alone as much as possible during 'work' hours and in return he won't do work stuff outside of that time. We've become a great team ------------- Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006 |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 29 June 2006 at 10:25am
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I'm at home without Andrew 3 days out of 5 at the moment (he is at daycare) so those days I try to do most of the work around the house. Washing, cleaning etc. When I go back to Uni next semester and Andrew is in fulltime daycare we will be going back to spliting the stuff around the house as I will be studying fulltime and I am pregnant now. As a rule on Friday he must cook dinner as I am at work until 7pm. He also does alot of the DIY stuff at the moment (we are fixing up our new bedroom as Andrew can move into our room and then we can do our new bathroom), so that is alot of work. I do try to help out when he is doing that so that we are both doing up our house. I love mowing the lawns so I do that (its good exercise), however hubby will do them every now and then. At the moment with 24/7 sickness he has found himself doing a lot more with Andrew and the housework as it doesn't take me long to get bad and have to visit the white porcielin bowl. He leaves for work at 7.45am and isn't home until 5.15pm so I make dinner most nights. When he gets home he spends that time while i'm making dinner to play trains with Andrew. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Alan & Bubbles Mummy
Date Posted: 29 June 2006 at 12:49pm
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MEOW!. I guess I should have said I do have a good sleeper during the day, and yes he also entertain's himself really well so most deffently not superwoman, but like you I use to go out all the time I hated being at home in my little 2bedroom flat so it is only scince we have shifted into a bigger house that I have steped up and started doing everything. Thing's will deffently change when number 2 come's along tho. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
[url=http://lilypie.com] [/url
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Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 29 June 2006 at 2:27pm
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Hehe.. I do pretty much all the housework too.. unless I ask it doesn't get done apart from on the occassion..
Does anyone else feel that they are on a losing battle with their house? esp with a toddler who is always moving things from place to place.. I am always apologising to people when they come over but why should I, grr it's frustrating!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Alan & Bubbles Mummy
Date Posted: 29 June 2006 at 2:31pm
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I feel like I am always losing the battle when it come's to washing and dish's as soon as you finish there seem'sto be more it drives me nut's. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
[url=http://lilypie.com] [/url
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 29 June 2006 at 9:40pm
| Yes Kat. Within 5 minutes Hannah has completely destroyed any hope of having a tidy house. I give up. |
Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 30 June 2006 at 3:02pm
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Wait until they are 7 years old and like to and have the ability to make mess in their rooms first...then bring it out into the Lounge...then into the back yard within an hour!!! And protest when asked to start tidying up!
Thats when I wish I had a two storey house with a huge RUMPUS room come bedroom for children to have all their stuff in! (and mess for that matter) -------------
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Posted By: 98765
Date Posted: 30 June 2006 at 5:35pm
You should see my kitchen table its covered in clean washing ready to be put away but i just can't find the time. Jack has to be held all day and he gets bored with the house. DP won't do anything unless i ask he has his jobs to do but still won't do it unless I ask. He also thinks its my job to clean his cars and motorbikes  He is supposed to cook tea while i bath and feed jack but sometimes I have to do that as well.
The few times I have left Jack with him I feed and change Jack so all Ben has to do it play with him until nap time. One time I went out for 30mins and when I came home Jack was in bed because he cried, he had only been up for 45mins poor bubs. How do u get DP to help out? I have even written out a job list so he knows what to do ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
www.jackkeith.blogspot.com |
Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Date Posted: 30 June 2006 at 6:08pm
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Maybe refuse to put out until he helps out.... ------------- Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006 |
Posted By: 98765
Date Posted: 30 June 2006 at 6:15pm
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Haha that plan is already in place ------------- http://lilypie.com">
www.jackkeith.blogspot.com |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 01 July 2006 at 7:40am
| I swear that every partner should be left in care of the baby or children for at least one day. they seem to come out of that realising that we don't sit on our butts all day eating chocolate and watching Operah. Motherhood is not a "holiday" |
Posted By: lenabeanz
Date Posted: 01 July 2006 at 9:40am
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I am a bit late to get my 2 cents in on this but I will anyway!!
DP is sharemilking and we have had someone working with us for the last few months so I have been working part time (finished now) and going to playcentre etc. But now our worker has left so from the next week or so I will be working on the farm doing calving and milkings. So our jobs of what we do change depending on the cows... May - July I do the majority of the housework as David is out most of the day doing little jobs around the farm that have been neglected during milking season and I dont do anything during dry season so I am happy with that. July - May we do what we can when we are awake enough!! we both work 7 days a week starting at 5am with 2 1 hour breaks and finish at around 6pm... so needless to say our house is generally a mess in that time!!! He is pretty good around the house. If someone is coming around he will tidy the whole house while I look after Arna... But then there are other times I wish he would do more but with the work that we do sleep is paramount over a "tidy" house! ------------- http://www.snugglepie.com"> 
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