Bedsharing with newborn?
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=29922
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Topic: Bedsharing with newborn?
Posted By: babybaby
Subject: Bedsharing with newborn?
Date Posted: 15 November 2009 at 12:04pm
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I read some articles recently encouraging mums to sleep with their newborn. It seems making a sense and my mum also supports cosleeping with babies because me and my brother both shared bed with my parents.
I'm not sure what to do. Any thought about this? 
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Replies:
Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 15 November 2009 at 1:15pm
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I'm planning to cosleep with this one to start off with. I'm planning to because I ended up cosleeping with JJ accidentally a fair few times and I figure it's safer to plan properly to do it so we can do it safely iygwim.
There are degrees to it as well, like you don't have to go the whole hog, you can get bassinettes that push up alongside the bed in a sidecar type arrangement rather than having them totally in your bed. You might find http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/Forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23029 - this thread I started ages ago interesting - starts off very negative and a bit sensationalist due to the news article I read, but there's lots of good advice and a couple of great links in there  ------------- 
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 15 November 2009 at 1:23pm
Sorry that was totally circular! I usually make more sense than that  -------------
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
weegee wrote:Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 15 November 2009 at 1:43pm
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LOL Weegee...
Babybaby I personally don't co-sleep coz I find it too disturbing to my sleep. It would have alot to do with how comfortable you feel as well as how safe you can make it I guess. -------------   
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 15 November 2009 at 1:45pm
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I don't co-sleep myself , (babies are noisy ! ) but at Kmart , I saw these things that are like a small basinette you put on the bed , im not sure what they are called, but would be brilliant for someone who wanted to co-sleep but was still wary of the dangers of rolling onto baby etc. ------------- 
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Posted By: Delli
Date Posted: 15 November 2009 at 1:55pm
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One of the coolest things I ever did was co-sleep with Jude on his first night after being born. He was born at 10.22pm and when we went to the ward my midwife told me the best thing I could do was cuddle up with my new son in bed and try to get some sleep as it was the one night where he wouldn't feed very much and would sleep lots. I still look back and get warm fuzzies about that first night cuddled up in bed with my new baby who was only a few hours old.
So even if you don't end up co sleeping for the rest of the time - I would really recommend doing it that first night. :) I only co sleep with Jude sometimes and never for the whole night. I'm not against co sleeping - Jude just seems to prefer his cot more. He wakes up way more when in bed with me than if he was in his cot. I'm always very aware that he is there even in sleep. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 15 November 2009 at 2:03pm
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We co sleep occasionally we did for the first two weeks but I decided I wanted my space too much and my body back! So we bring her into bed with us in the morning after her first wake up. My rule is that I don't bring her into bed to sleep until 7am as thats when she starts waking up more frequently and mummy still wants a sleep in lol. I either rest her on my arms or put her tummy down in between the two of us. Sometimes she would fall asleep while feeding inbetween my arm and my body (poor child smelling my armpit lol) but that way I would know where she was and she was safe if she was in between DP and I my arm was there so he couldn't roll on to her and if she was on the otherside of me then my arm was there so she wouldn't fall off the bed. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 15 November 2009 at 3:17pm
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There are lots of websites that tell you how to make co-sleeping safer and things that can go in the bed or bassinets that attach to the side of the bed.
I slept with Alex for the first few nights on and off but tbh couldn't relax as much and so didn't get great sleeps. Then when we brought him home i put his bassinet right next to the bed and still couldn't sleep cos he was so loud. So he ended up in his own room from about day 3 and we all got much more sleep. The first night was hard but it was fine after that. Now he comes in with me when he's sick but when he does i really don't get much sleep at all, so usually only do it for a few hours. When he goes into a big bed i'd prob cuddle in with him instead so that i can slip back out to my own bed. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 15 November 2009 at 3:37pm
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We co-slept with Isabelle for months .. but that was more her decision than ours .. I just wanted sleep and that is the only place she would, so that was that.
Elias only co-slept with me in hospital he slept perfectly in his bassinet next to our bed so he hasnt required us to have him in bed with us. Although I have to admit .. I  sleeping next to my babies .. there is nothing like waking up to one of your children looking at you like you are their entire world. *melt*------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Mama-Me
Date Posted: 15 November 2009 at 4:47pm
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I have co-slept with both my girls and love it - so easy feeding during the night too! Sometimes it is the only way to get a good night sleep.
The only thing I will say is don't do it if you aren't comfortable. There is a bassinet type thing you can get that lies in the bed but to me this isn't co sleeping because you can't cuddle and be close but it a type of co sleeping iygwim. Not sure if you watch Home and Away but last week they showed Rachel cosleeping and she ended up smothering her baby Harry (he is ok) but it did highlight co sleeping is possible not the best idea to do if you are extremely overtired. They do recommend that if you are a heavy sleeper, smoke, drink or toss an turn heaps co sleeping isn't such a hot idea but you can always bring the cot in right close to your side of the bed. ------------- http://www.thebabyview.com/" rel="nofollow - The Baby View for mums who love to shop |
Posted By: Joscia
Date Posted: 15 November 2009 at 5:05pm
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We did it for the first few nights when DS was tiny, but I moved him to his hammock, hanging next to the bed shortly after that because I found that we both slept better. (I was so nervous and woke up at just about every movement...)
Having said that, we do the same thing as Elle - bring him into bed when he first wakes up in the morning - normally around 5am - and he'll do another 2-3 hours lying next to me. For my peace of mind, DH built a padded 'wall' that we have down the side of the bed (it's about 30cm high, and is secured underneath the mattress) so DS can't roll out. |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 15 November 2009 at 5:24pm
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I plan to cosleep when in hospital with the next one but not at home. I did it a few times with Dan - I had him between me and DH with my arm around Dan to protect him in case DH rolled over. I didn't find it particularly restful though. I would often have in in bed after his first morning feed (once DH was up) - we'd both go back to sleep for a few hours and I was less stressed/aware cos DH wasn't there. And I agree with them being noisy wee buggers!
My understanding is that if you follow the recommendations re co-sleeping, it's pretty safe and can be good for reducing SIDS risk. if you don't follow the recommendations, then you're putting your baby at risk. Good on you for thinking about it and planning now so it's safer for you all. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 15 November 2009 at 5:44pm
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Im not really fond of it, but I did do it with Isabella when she was newborn on a few occasions as she was so unsettled and I was exhausted, but I would wake up and panic thinking Id rolled on to her, but I never did.
I would prefer not to co-sleep really... ------------- |
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 15 November 2009 at 9:03pm
Im personally not a fan of it myself but I think mainly because I dont know enough about co-sleeping and cos I fear waking up on top of bubs etc. And also cos babies are noisy sleepers  But if you do your research and you practice safe co-sleeping I guess its totally your choice ------------- Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 15 November 2009 at 9:14pm
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I used to do it but not intentionally. I would feed Maddi lying down in bed and fall asleep, I just could not keep myself awake. At least I was able to get sleep and with her lying on my arm it was pretty difficult to ever roll on her but I would always wake up so uncomfortable and end up waking Maddi too so we would start the feeding again and falling asleep again.
It was so much easier to sleep with her in a seperate bed and she slept a whole lot longer too. I have nothing against it and if you are comfortable I'd say go for it. If it doesnt work they can always go straight back to their own bed. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Cassie
Date Posted: 16 November 2009 at 8:50am
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Lauren is still sleeping in our bed lol, but then, she would never sleep anywhere else! I spent the first two months with her sleeping on the couch as it was the only way to get enough of an upright position to help her sleep at night. She has always been a really frequent feeder and it was just so much easier to have her in bed with me - she'd wake, she'd feed, she'd go back to sleep and I'd not have to get out of my cosy bed and would generally just drift back to sleep as she did.I love waking up to her in the morning, it really is lovely.
We're just about to transition her to a big girl bed in another room (over the next six months or so), so that she's fine with that before the new baby arrives. Hubby never seemed to mind having Lauren in bed, but this next time around we'll try the cot again and see how it goes, will probably co-sleep in the early days depending on how bubs is. Best advice is to do what works for you and baby, babies are all different, some need that extra contact, and others don't. ------------- ~Cassie~   
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Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 16 November 2009 at 11:25am
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DP is aware of her now when she comes to bed with us and has at times seen she's in bed with me so goes and sleeps on the couch. Sometimes both of us have been known to sleep with her on our chest as well, she likes it she's close to our hearts etc. I saw that home and away episode as well but the way she co-slept is completely different to what I would do. If its just the two of us in bed then I normally put her on DP's side of the bed with a pillow down beside her so she can't go anywhere but rolls into the pillow if she does roll and sometimes I put her on a pillow so all her torso is on the pillow so that she is higher up in the bed. Helps with any wind she has as well. We have a padded headboard as well so if she does wriggle higher then she is only going to hit the padding. I always make sure the blanket isn't over her too high and that there isn't too many layers on the bed either. She loves our bed I remember asking on a forum one day about helping get her to sleep in the early days and someone suggested dressing her bed the same as ours, I'm sorry but I will not buy her a $200 down duvet lol. Not yet anyway! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: rorylex
Date Posted: 16 November 2009 at 5:02pm
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we did co-sleeping while breastfeeding when they were waking in the night but i was lucky, so far all 3 have only woken once for feeds and it was alway about 4-5am they only came into our bed from that time til i got up. the long stetch sleep they slept in their bassinet once they stopped waking so early i swapped them to the cot and only came into our bed for morning feed. ds1 and 3 only bf til 3motnhs so thats how long they co slept for.
however atm we get all 3 in our bed (and no thats not co sleeping by choice lol) being 32wks preg i cant be bothered getting up when i already have to for the toilet lol. so we have a trandler bed jacked up next to our bed which they find themselves in. ------------- Mummy to 4 boys Samuel - 18.6.05 Rory - 15.7.06 Mason - 13.06.08 Emmett - 24.01.10 Baby #5 - cooking |
Posted By: Natalie_G
Date Posted: 16 November 2009 at 8:17pm
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I am not a fan of co-sleeping all the time, I did do it a few times when Arianne was a newborn and didn't settle, luckly I never went into a deep sleep I was always aware she was there and its was uncomfortable.
Arianne still gets in the bed with us during the night, but I never go back to sleep I just wait for her to calm down and go back to sleep then its back to the cot. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 16 November 2009 at 8:38pm
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We co slept with Jake. We always started him in his bassinet but most nights he ended up in our bed at some point.
I had very high levels of oxytocin in the early days and it didnt matter where or when I fed.. I would fall asleep so it actually became safer for me to lay down. I almost dropped him on the floor once when I fell asleep feeding him in the lounge
They certainly are noisy wee things and DH and I were both releived when he was content in his cot in his own room. But I do miss the snuggles! We will do the same thing with the next baby, put them down for the night in their bassinet but will co sleep if thats what baby (or mummy) needs to get sleep -------------   
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Posted By: mybeautiful3
Date Posted: 16 November 2009 at 10:15pm
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Trust your mothering instinct! :) ------------- Just my job as a Birth Doula!
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Posted By: M2K
Date Posted: 17 November 2009 at 6:10pm
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I co-slept with bubs, but as I tend to turn heaps in my sleep I brought a small basinette from K-mart (about $80) which has hard sides to it to prevent rolling over on bubs. I once fed her lying beside me and drifted off to sleep and was starting to lean on her so never feed her lying down after that.
I love her beside me, but I did wake up when she would make a noise. ------------- 
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Posted By: bext1
Date Posted: 17 November 2009 at 9:22pm
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I was so tired the night I had Joel that he slept in my arms, but I woke up in a panic I'd dropped him, but he was peacefully asleep.
I used to only co-sleep like someone else said, if he needed feeding during the night, cause i'd be so tired i'd pass out back to sleep with the twins, same thing re the feeding, but I found they moved too much and we didn't want them in our bed all the time. Especially after Joel got to the point where he expected to sleep with me, and refused his cot!! I guess during the day would be ok, but night time I couldn't do again!! ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Berg19
Date Posted: 18 November 2009 at 12:04am
i am currently co-sleeping with Jarvi.. Not by choice and i had planned to put him in his cot but the only way he will sleep is on top of me (on my chest) and the only way i can get some sleep too! At first i was worried i might roll over etc but i don't move as still very aware that hes there! and when he wants feeding - he wriggles down and try's to suck my neck/face off!  must say its quite weird to wake up too! but then i can just feed him laying down and pop him back on my chest. Im trying to sleep him in his cot - buuuuut not really working! And i must say,when he sleeps on other people and they say go get some sleep, i can't! i just lie there awake n keep wondering if hes ok.. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: BerryBliss
Date Posted: 18 November 2009 at 2:20pm
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I'm another one who has co-slept, wasn't an intentional thing more a "i miss being pregnant and having someone with me 24/7" thing so i decided to co-sleep. It was such a great thing to do and so easy to BF during the night. Tessa is pretty much full-time in her cot now and has been for i think 2 months, my DH was not sleeping so well as she kept kicking him, but i really loved it and occasionally she ends up next to me. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 1999 DS 2003 DS 2006 DD 2009 |
Posted By: palomino
Date Posted: 18 November 2009 at 3:56pm
| We did the unintentional co sleep. Late night feeds were we both drifted off. Its so lovely and such an amazing stage. Now i cant co sleep because he will slap my face or pull down my top or pull DPs chest hairs haha. anything but sleep! so hes been in his cot since about 6months |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 19 November 2009 at 1:55pm
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sorry lurking but Id be terrified to have a new born in bed woth me, even weary about my 18 month old. I understand that some times its a cultural thing but i couldnt do it. I have this little baby bed, its like a little box that folds out and has sides on it, much safer option if you just cant bear to be apart,
Alot of people do have baby in their beds, and for most of the time its fine, but very sadly sometimes its not ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
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