On the horns of a dilemma!
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=30383
Printed Date: 08 October 2025 at 4:35pm
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Topic: On the horns of a dilemma!
Posted By: Bizzy
Subject: On the horns of a dilemma!
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 1:29pm
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Ok so this is the sort of thing i would normally ask my mum about, but...
so anyway we are having tea at my sisters place on xmas day and meeting there about 4. My job is to bring the pork. i have brought a huge one and it will take at least 6 hours to cook. However my MIL has decided to have breakfast at her place on xmas morning at 8.30. (this partly came about cause i said i liked the xmas breakfasts we used to have when hubby and i were dating). we will have to leave here by 8 to get there by 8.30.... so i want to know what do i do about the pork? oh and i havent set foot in my MIL's house for xmas day since i was pregnant with toby and managed to upset them all by not going and greeting them but instead putting down my small son and the bags of pressies and other stuff i had - then the MIL thought i insulted the pressie she had brought us! can you be my mother sustitutes and give me some ideas of how to handle this!? Thanks in advance!  ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 1:37pm
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Eeek about MIL,...you dont wanna have to leave the breakfast early to cook the pork- although it could be a good excuse if u need one, lol!
Does the pork have to be hot or could u cook it the night before? Or finish off cooking it at your sisters when u get there, but I guess her oven will be full! |
Posted By: Turtle
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 1:52pm
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Can you get the pork ready and take it to your sister's house the night before and she can put it in the oven?
I'm doing that with my chickens as we are providing them for dinner with my family but will be off at lunch with the IL's |
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 1:55pm
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I would just be honest with them and say you need to get away early to get the pork in the oven. I get that it's hard with MIL though as what would be "OK" in your own family isn't always the done thing with the ILs.
Or, as Kellz suggested, cook the pork the night before (but I prefer hot pork and cold ham myself so wouldn't do that if it were me  )
Ahhhh, Christmas! ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 2:04pm
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yeah i like my pork hot too! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 2:08pm
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I would cook the pork the night before it can be heated up at your sisters place, if anyone wants it hot.
I would never apologize for looking after my kids needs prior to greeting people, think your MIL is a bit over sensitive. Xmas is stressful & it is the 1 time of the year it should not be, it is time to relax, have fun & enjoy life. Pity it is not always that easy. |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 2:13pm
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My mum always cooked the pork the night before, and reheated it the next day. Meant the oven was free for cooking vege etc. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: littleLittle
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 2:39pm
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Have you got a big crock pot / slow cooker that you could put the pork in to cook at your sisters house? That way the oven is free at her place for whatever else needs to be cooked. And you can still use the excuse that you need to leave your IL's to cook - just don't tell them the food is already cooking!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 2:43pm
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If you have a slow cooker, you could put it on to cook before you go to MILs and it would be ready for later. Great idea littlelittle ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: jaycee
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 3:04pm
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are you going home between the breakfast and tea? If so could you set the oven to switch on? or does it require TLC and lots of attention . I have done this a few times and it is great (once I have had a few practices to get over the paranoia and make sure that it works ) -------------   
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 3:11pm
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its a HUGE piece of pork and will need about 6 hours of cooking - and there is no way it would even fit in my crockpot! (and if it did - where would my crakling be? :( LOL!)
i did wonder about leaving the house with the stove on, hubby said lots of people do it and i said but lots of people have house fires too! and short of not going to the MIL's - which is my prefered choice! - i wondered if i could cook the pork for 2 hours, turn off the stove for 2 hours or so and then turn it back on when i come home...? will that ruin the pork? ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 3:27pm
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I'm not sure about leaving it to cool for 2 hours mid-cooking. I've never tried.
How far away does your MIL live? Could you take the pork with you and start cooking it in her oven, then bring it home with you and finish the job in your own oven? Sounds like you might not have the kind of relationship where that would work though 
I grew up on a farm and roasts were a big part of what we ate. It was pretty common to leave one in the oven on low while we were out and about on the farm/at the beach etc. But I can understand you not being comfortable with that too. If you are at your MIL's at 8.30, would it be reasonable to leave at 10 to cook the pork? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 3:31pm
i possibly could t rex but that means not getting to my sisters till about 5... we are aiming for an early dinner as my brother has to be home by 7  long story.------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 3:53pm
| Leave the oven on- not much diff to leaving crockpot on all day! |
Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 4:43pm
| I'd leave the oven on too, done it tons of times |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 5:26pm
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Sorry but I could not leave the oven on...you just never know.
Just tell MIL sorry can not make it cause... or invite them to you if you really want, then its on your turf, but harder to get rid off. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 5:50pm
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jazzy my goal for the future is to not go anywhere on xmas day and invite people here (but not here cause i so better be in a bigger house!)
and she has organised her daughter and brother and few others over as well so not just us... she has also done a present draw and emailed me the other day - i was so annoyed at that too cause she has included the kids, so now i have to buy presents for people i dont really like on behalf of my kids who dont have money of their own! so everyone else gets one person to buy for and i get five! but thats another story!!!!  ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 7:06pm
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Don't you just hate it when others put you in a position where you have to do things you don't want to.
With the present thing, do some baking & use that as gifts or $2 shop. With 5 extra people to buy for & people you would not normally buy for I would not be spending much money at all. I am doing baking this year & have told some family not to buy for us. We are only buying for the IL as they spoil the kids rotten, & 2 little cousins as the kids are close & spending xmas together. I would use that pork as an excuses to leave early even if you cooked it the night before, ha ha
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 7:24pm
That's so dumb that she included the kids in the pressie draw - it's not like they have incomes!  .
No idea with the pork, I'd probably just say leave the oven on, but that's not very sensible advice .-------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 8:42pm
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I'd put the oven on a delay timer....if it has it.
Surely ovens are safe to leave on low? ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: hannibal
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 8:47pm
| I do it the night before, probably if you are just going back to the MIL for xmas you might not be too popular if you went early - just do it for the kids! |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 08 December 2009 at 9:11pm
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May have already been said but...
I'd cook it the night before but perhaps for 30mins less than you would otherwise. Then refridgerate immediately and finish off (maybe with some glaze) immediately before the party. Mind you, it is easier to transport a cold roast so the night before would work too. I come from a very small family so have different views from some on how important family is. If we are all honest...family offend and hurt one-another...it seems to be an inevitable part of the closeness, emotions and expectations involved in being a family. Though hard, I see the value in letting those go and simply being there for the family unconditionally. It is great you are going to visit after such a long time...i hope it goes really well. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 9:34pm
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I would put it on low at about 6am then either turn it right down or off while I went out then come home and finish it. Long slow cooked pork is great. And if you cook it in the crockpot you don't get crispy crackling anyway.
Or you could get your sister to cook it for you, but probably not in the spirit of things. Dad does this (but its usually raw and frozen and you get it Xmas Eve) but you can get away with this when you are in your 80's. I wouldn't take it to MIL to cook, I suspect that would go down like a lead balloon. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 9:49pm
| I would stay home and tend to the pork, and send DH away with all the kids so you can have peace and quiet for a little while haha. You wouldn't want to risk wasting a good, huge piece of pork would you? LOL |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 10 December 2009 at 8:32am
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that pepsi is what i really want to do!
i am getting paranoid that the house will be robbed while i am gone now and the kids wont get presents!
my parents house was robbed on xmas day once... i was away and all my presents were under the tree and the thieves unwrapped them as they walked down the street! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 10 December 2009 at 2:04pm
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That is really sick! Who would steal childrens presents from under the tree!!!
Could they open the presents before breakfast? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 10 December 2009 at 3:57pm
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jenny we are thinking that we might not have time to open them before we go since we have to be there at 8.30. depending on what time the kids get up. last year we were up waiting impatiently for them! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 10 December 2009 at 4:12pm
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Cook the pork the night before. Wrap it in tinfoil in the baking tray and take it cold???
As for the presents, let the kids open big ones first and maybe leave their stockings (if you do them) for the morning... get them up earlier.. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 10 December 2009 at 4:17pm
LOL I remember my parents had to have a rule that we weren't allowed up before 6.30 on Christmas Day, otherwise we'd have been up before the birds
That's really cr@ppy about being robbed on Christmas Day, I can see why you'd feel a bit paranoid ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Bizzy wrote:Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 10 December 2009 at 8:50pm
I don't see why you should be stressed out on the day worrying about keeping the IL's happy when you had already made a committment about doing some cooking which requires a lot of time. Will they really mind if you're not there as long as the grandkids are there with them? |
Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 10 December 2009 at 9:32pm
Ahhh ... see I am used to 'go back to bed, its only 3am, go back to bed, its only 4am, go back to bed, its now only 5am, go back to bed, its now only ... This year will be my last sleep in on Xmas day for another ten years. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 11 December 2009 at 9:19am
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better make the most of it then jenny..
pepsi i dont mind upsetting the MIL but i would rather my husband was happy. and if he wants me there i feel stink saying no. theres going to be booze too and i dont know if i want to get drunk that early (dont want to get maudlin too early as its going to be a hard enough day as it is). and yeah i know i could not drink but booze is the best way i have found of coping with the IL's ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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