Never shake a baby
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Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=30398
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Topic: Never shake a baby
Posted By: BessieBear
Subject: Never shake a baby
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 11:07am
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Does any one else really not like that new ad. I can't stand that they are letting the baby cry. It's horrible. ------------- Sarah Mum to, Boy 07/2008, Girl 03/2010, Boy 05/2012, Angel  07/08/2014
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Replies:
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 11:12am
| I actually don't mind it |
Posted By: Henna79
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 11:25am
| I think the ad is cleverly done but I can't stand a crying baby. |
Posted By: MyLilSquishy
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 11:27am
| good message. can't stand crying babys either though. you can still pick them up for a hug... |
Posted By: ?Lolly?
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 11:31am
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I think it gets the message across though. No body likes a crying baby. This advert shows people that is ok to let the baby cry, better than picking baby up and shaking it. ------------- Captain Chaos (5) & the Trouble Monsters (2!) 
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 11:32am
| I'm with Em....I'd rather let a baby cry then pick it up when I'm so frustrated/angry that I might hurt it, albeit unintentionally, by shaking it. The ad gets that across. |
Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 11:43am
| I don't mind the ad but it's not going to stop people who would shake a baby from doing it. |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 11:57am
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Have to agree on this one, people that shake babies probably wont see these adds. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
summerlamb wrote:Posted By: Bexee
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 12:04pm
| I think it is a really effective ad myself. And I do think some people just lose control. No, it won't stop those who torture children (aka Nia Glassie) but it does show people that are at teh end of their tether that it's okay to walk away. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 12:38pm
i dont know why you think they wouldnt see the ads. are you stereotyping people who shake babies? cause if you are you are sadly mistaken. People who shake babies come from all walks of like, its not just those from lower socio economic areas who dont have access to tv!  ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: maysie
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 12:46pm
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I agree with Bizzy and that's exactly what the ad is showing. - all good during the day but at nighttime when the baby is crying and they're all frustrated and don't know what to do...
However, they said they used a young Maori guy because statistics show a higher incidence of shaken babies in this 'group'. And it is recommended that you put the baby down in a safe place while you get yourself together and calm if you are in this position. Noone likes to hear a baby crying and upset  I think the ad is well done.------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: luvmylittlies
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 12:49pm
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I always thought that someone who would hurt/shake a baby would do so no matter what info they got. But actually from the info I'm getting from other health care professionals (I work in a large DHB) about campaigns like this one (and the anti-smacking stuff) was that there's a large group of people who DIDN'T know these things weren't okay and are now seeking help for coping and parenting skills. I reckon even if it stopped one kid from being brain damaged or beaten to death it'd be worth it. ------------- Adoring Mum to Talisin 8/9/11 and Kiara 18/01/10 |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 1:02pm
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I agree with Bizzy. I think in some cases, it's nothing to do with a person's upbringing, but sleep deprivation and frustration can lead a person to just lose their patience, and that's when things like this happen. It's completely different to someone who systematically abuses their children - a lot of people don't realise what damage shaking can do. The ad may make people think twice about picking up a baby when they are angry (they may not be intending to hurt bubs, but their frustration is overwhelming).
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Posted By: Bexee
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 1:14pm
| Yep I agree with Bizzy and Minik8e - sometimes people come to the end of their tether. And they're not necessarily the people who you'd expect to hurt kids. Having a baby, I can see how someone who perhaps isn't equiped with coping skills could lose it for a second. I'd never hurt my son, but it has given me that insight... |
Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 1:14pm
Woah, I'm hoping that you're aiming the comment as mrsg1 because I wasn't implying anything about the 'type' of people, just that in my opinion I didn't think an ad on tv would change anything. I would love to be wrong and as the previous poster wrote, if it saves one baby it is worthwhile, I just don't think an ad on tv will stop anyone who is going to harm a child. |
Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 1:25pm
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Aww everytime the baby cries in that ad I get all teary but I'm super glad they're doing the ads - and I think they're well done too. -------------  
 
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 1:37pm
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ummmm i have to ask...what ad? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: LJsmum
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 1:43pm
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i think it's a great ad, it needs to be on and the topic out there, it happens a lot and as othres have said anyone may or can lose it, doesn't matter who you are or what socio enconomic group you fall into.
more ad's like these are needed i say -------------  
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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 1:51pm
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I still remember an ad from when I was a young child that said "Never EVER shake a Baby" and I still remember it to this day. There are people out there who don't realise the effects shaking has on babies. I always knew not to shake a baby, but I didnt realise what kind of serious damage it could do up until a few months ago. There was a doco on a wee girl whos grandparents were taking care of her, I think her father was in jail for shaking her? She couldn't do much on her own, just heartbreaking.
The wee baby does sound really upset on the ad, but I guess they used that to get the point across. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 1:58pm
quite often people who shake babies arent intending to do them harm! there is a big difference to the person who wants to harm a child and deliberately sets out to do harm and parents on the edge who shake a child out of frustration and dont realise the serious consequences to that action. and yes my comment was aimed at msg1 and anyone else who would think the same. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 2:07pm
Shaking a baby is different to child abuse, it's quite often done by sleep deprived parents of newborns who just "lose it" and not because they intend to or want to hurt a baby. Sometimes when they just don't stop screaming it can be hard to think straight and you end up feeling like slamming your own head into the wall or ripping your hair out with frustration, it's not hard for me to understand how with a really bad cryer you could end up unintentionally hurting the baby. I think it's a good ad, it never hurts to remind people to put the baby somewhere safe and walk away for a few mins to pull yourself together. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 2:23pm
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So know that feeling although I don't think i would ever shake DD I know there have been times when she is crying and stomping on me and I just kind of sit there and let her do it to get the frustration out or I put her down on the ground and walk away when I can't deal with it. Would rather her scream and have her tanty on the ground and me to be able to walk away then get frustrated and do something that might hurt her. I'm actually friends with the guy in the ad, and crack up everytime I see it because of this ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 2:24pm
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Personally, I think it's great. Having come so close to losing it many times with Ava, its nice to have it recognised that it is a 'normal' part of parenting to feel frustrated, and it shows how to cope with that (walking away).
I have met the wee girl brought up by her grandparents that someone mentioned - I didn't know the full story until later but my god those people are heroes to dote on her like they do. I assumed they were her parents to start with because the love for her was just amazing. It makes me so sad to think of the life she is missing out on because her father couldn't walk away. |
Posted By: FionaO
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 2:40pm
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Totally agree with emz, I think the adverts are great as they show its ok to feel overwhelmed by a baby who just won't stop crying - and that its normal to feel that way. DH and I both did it with DS on occasion when he was tiny, put him in his cot, let him scream, and leave him, normally within a minute i'd feel calmer to go back in and try something else, but at the time you just feel so hopeless as how to stop them, I think its the best advice put them down - crying doesn't hurt (obviously don't leave them for hours) gather yourself together and carry on. Good on them for raising awareness.
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Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 2:51pm
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I agree, I think its a great ad and even though I haven't yet had a child of my own I can see how overwhelming it can get and how frustration can get the better of even the most level-headed and calm parent.
As someone else said, if it stops just one child being hurt than its a good thing -------------  
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Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 3:00pm
I disagree...it is totally a form of child abuse! It may have a different intention behind it but it is still abuse. I am of the walk away action group....I had to many times when ella was in her first six weeks...noone warns you of that!!!! walk away walk away walk away!!!! Ill preach that always...and good on the ads. I just had a CYFS manager in my office and we were talking about the initiatives...something like 50,000 kids involved in a conflict each year, about 5000 of them actioned immediately and the rest....well lets just say they slip thru! In my own role I have seen "accidents" and "abuse" and lets say in some scenarios there is a VERY fine line between them.... |
Posted By: shadowfeet
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 3:07pm
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Someone asked what ad it was: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WJbc78smJM - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WJbc78smJM Personally, I think it's a great ad, even though watching babies cry is hard. It has the potential to be very effective with all the other measures they're putting in place http://www.powertoprotect.net.nz/ - http://www.powertoprotect.net.nz/ < information about the campaign ------------- 
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Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 4:17pm
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Brilliant ad! I am all for making these ads being played to bring awareness into the community even if it just a simple reminder.
We were told about 'walking away' during our antenatal classes so were aware before bubs arrived but its so easy to forget if your in the heat of the moment. Ditto what Emz and FionaO have said. ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 4:24pm
Probably should have explained myself better, I think that shaking a baby through frustration and not being able to think straight cos of sleep deprivation and all the other craziness that comes with a newborn is different to other child abuse that happens (like putting a 3 year old in a tumble dryer) and it was in response to someone writing that people that would shake a baby would not watch tv or be affected by the ad. I think they would because I don't think that people that shake babies are necessarily ones that would abuse a child, more just parents that have been driven to snapping point and have not walked away at that critical point and those people are from all walks of life (and most likely have a tv) -------------
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 5:46pm
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I think shaking a baby is different to child abuse in the sense that child abuse is intentional - quite often shaking a baby is done in the heat of the moment with intense frustration/sleep deprivation, it's not a deliberate action. That is the difference that I think people are meaning.
I can well understand how you can get to that stage. There have been a few times where I have walked out, shut the doors and had a Milo, because both girls are crying, I don't know why and I don't know how to stop them (and it's all fine cuddling them etc., but I can't do it to both at the same time while retaining my own hearing and sanity). The nurses in neonatal told me it's better to leave them crying while you have a Milo and calm down (even just making it...only takes a couple of minutes) than try to deal with them when you're upset, because not only do you not have any patience in that scenario, but they also pick up on your frustration and that makes it worse. |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 6:01pm
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i havent read everything but i see the girl i am about to mention has been mentioned..
i know through someone the person who did the shaking and personally anything that helps stop people shaking babies like he did is worth it and i dont mind the ad. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 6:08pm
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I think it a fantastic add, well done to them.
People who hurt & kills kids are just violent sick thugs. People that snap under stress need to know the warning signs, know how to deal with them & know it is ok to walk away & you are not a bad or useless parent. That add sums that up. There is so much PC BS going on, parenting is a hard enough job, no one is perfect & you don't have to be. No matter how prepared you are for the birth of your baby, you never know when the emotions are going to hit you, that cute little angel you see sleeping is not always going to sleep & you think you were tired when pg that's nothing to the next few years & if you have more that 1, well you know what I mean 
Plenty of times I have walked away, now day I use the old time out on my kids as much for me as them. So let the baby cry, go make a cuppa, go back when ready. |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 7:40pm
| I used to take a shower.....or let the shower run and sit in the bathroom (can't hear them cry then!) |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 8:28pm
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I think it's a great ad. I do agree that shaking a baby is a form of child abuse, I don't think anyone here disagrees on that, but it is different in a sense that it can be done by otherwise good people in a desperate, sleep deprived state whereas prolonged child abuse is not done by good people. Most babies respond really well to jiggling gently, if they're more upset jiggling a bit more vigourously can help soothe them. I can see why it would be easy to shake instead of jiggle if you were at the end of your tether and hoping that the movement would calm them. Like Kaiz I remember the ads (from the 90s?). I also remember being told that babies brains continue shaking inside their skulls even after the shaking has stopped so just a few seconds can do major damage. As a result I have always been overprotective (I even checked with my plunket nurse whether the way I swung DS's car capsule to calm him would be damaging). -------------  
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 8:47pm
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I think the ad's are good too.
I have to admit I really lost it when my oldest was about 6 weeks old and I hadn't slept since he was born. Was so past it and had been putting up such a front that all was well and one night really just slammed him back into his bassinet and crumpled to the floor sobbing. I really freaked out that I could just snap like that. Pretty easy to do I think? That's the closest I've come to "shaking" a baby and it was so scary. Good message to walk away. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 9:01pm
OK a bit off topic but what else has he been in? I swear I've seen him on TV before and it's really bugging me. -------------
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 9:07pm
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Shortland Street? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Jaxnz1
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 9:13pm
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Bobbie I think he was in another ad a while ago. Can't remember what it was, but I remember seeing him in an ad once and thinking he looked like someone I went to school with.
I think it's a good ad with a good message. I've done it a couple of times today as I think DD is having a growth spurt, either that or it's colic. Been crying all day and feeding all day, haven't had a break until now!  ------------- 
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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 9:26pm
| Yeah, wasn't he T.K's nephew? |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 10:04pm
| yip shorty st, I think the cousin of the one that ended up in a wheel chair, they came to a singing school or something...hmm what was his name, now that's going to bug me |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 10:05pm
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He was in SS think he was Wiremu, and he was in a McDs ad, when hes in the drive through and I dunno , realises its still breakfast menu or something.
Ha, he was also one of my patients , I gave him a filling (well, my boss did) I have walked away , put Ty down in his cot and just shut his door, shut my door , counted to 100 , and gone back in , sometimes you need to have a few seconds to focus , the sound of a babies cry is hard to ignore, because it is meant to be , its their survival tool really . ------------- 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 10:06pm
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Yeah , was Wiremu . -------------
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 10:15pm
Yip your right, I just washed the dye out of my hair & it came to me, ha ha. I too have a Ty he is 3 & boy he pushed my buttons today, screaming for no reason at school pick up time so everyone could see & hear, boy did I count to some ungodly number of course with a smile on my face....little angel
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 09 December 2009 at 10:39pm
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I think its a great Ad!
Isabella has been SUCH an unsettled baby, she cry's all the time and it does my damn head in, and a few times I have HAD to let her cry because I felt like shaking her. Now I would NEVER shake her, but that feeling of anger washes over you and you really do feel like shaking them. So what i do is, count to ten and take deeps breaths, then go back to her, letting her cry is not going to kill her, but shaking her can/will! I think its a good message, its OK to let a baby cry if it means you have time to get your head together and calm down so you are better equip mentally to deal with it. ------------- |
Posted By: bebebaby
Date Posted: 10 December 2009 at 12:24am
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I also think its a good ad.
We were talking about it at work. And they used to have those adverts on the TV all the time. Then there has been this big gap, and a whole generation has missed out on hearing this message. I think its important for people to realise its ok to walk away. If it only helps one person then it was worth it (Thats my opinion anyway) ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 10 December 2009 at 10:33am
Ah yeah thanks! that's it - the McD's ad. I don't count Shorty because seriously who hasn't been on it? 
OK I'll let you guys resume the acutal topic sorry -------------
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 10 December 2009 at 11:14am
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and for the record he does pick bub up at the end.. i saw it again a couple of times last night and i like it.. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 10 December 2009 at 3:55pm
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I think it's a great ad. It raises awareness about how you have to keep yourself and your baby safe when you are sleep-deprived and frustrated.
There were occasions that I felt like shaking Chloe (she was a colicky/refluxy baby) but I never did because I remembered those ads from when I was young, "never shake a baby"... the instinct of wanting to shake her wasn't one of violence either, it was purely that I wanted to stop her crying (not by hurting her, but you know how jiggling/doing something different etc. calms the baby, it was something along those lines but driven by frustration). It's not "bad people" that are at risk of shaking a baby, just poorly informed ones at the height of frustration and sleep deprivation and at their wits end. I, for one, am thankful for all those "never shake a baby" ads that were on tv when I was young. ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 10 December 2009 at 9:15pm
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i Cant say that iv actually seen zed add??...but i too have had to walk away from the screaming to gather myself before i could calmly deal to it
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