Feeling a bit stink!
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=30607
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Topic: Feeling a bit stink!
Posted By: FreeSpirit
Subject: Feeling a bit stink!
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 7:43am
Well, I'm deeply saddened. My DP and his sister haven't been speaking for a while. And now she has removed me from FB. After much talk with DP, he showed some of the recent messages between him and his sister. Apparently she feels unwelcome in my house (I don't know why, I have always gone out of my way to make her feel welcome). Why on earth do some people have to be all stupid at this time of year?
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Replies:
Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 7:44am
Oh, and this statement from her came about because DP pointed out she could always come and see him if she wanted to talk.
Basiclly they are both being stubborn and refusing to communicate.
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Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 8:22am
sounds to me like she's using it as an excuse. I would say her problem is with her brother, not you, but she's transferring it cos she doesn't want to deal with it (even if she doesn't realise she's doing that). It is not your problem!
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Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 8:44am
Where they close? Have you been together long? How old is she? Has something happen in her life recently that has made her insecure?
She may be feeling left out, jealous of your relationship with her brother. She sounds young.
I would let them sort it out, & maybe send her a card saying you miss her & invite her around for a girly sister chat just u & her, (that is if you like her usually get on well).
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Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 11:29am
She brought him up (mother left them when he was 4) and she's 7 years older), so they were fairly close. We've been together for a number of years now. She's in her mid-30's so not a young girl. She's been having health problems this year and my DP has failed to offer her the support she needs. I just feel that it's so sad that she's doing this at christmas, when we should all be putting our differences aside for the sake of our children.
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Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 22 December 2009 at 11:50am
Perhaps it's a cry for attention?
Maybe she's really after your brother's undivided attention, to get the support he hasn't given in the past and is feeling like the only way she can get it is by cutting you out in the hopes she can have him to herself.
What a tough situation for you to be in, but as the others have said, I don't think it's a personal slight on you. She just might be feeling a little helpless and doesn't know where else to turn - especially if she's been the "strong" one while growing up
I hope you can work through it and get her back on side again. Sounds like she could use a friend like you 
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 23 December 2009 at 1:23pm
MamaPickle wrote:
Perhaps it's a cry for attention?
Maybe she's really after your brother's undivided attention, to get the support he hasn't given in the past and is feeling like the only way she can get it is by cutting you out in the hopes she can have him to herself.
What a tough situation for you to be in, but as the others have said, I don't think it's a personal slight on you. She just might be feeling a little helpless and doesn't know where else to turn - especially if she's been the "strong" one while growing up
I hope you can work through it and get her back on side again. Sounds like she could use a friend like you  |
I totally agree. I feel for her, it is sad when a child has to take the role of the mother & sounds like she needs some of it paid back, but you can not let it get in the way of your family & kids, a bit like a MIL I think.
Enjoy a happy xmas with your kids
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