wills and contesting
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Topic: wills and contesting
Posted By: lizzle
Subject: wills and contesting
Date Posted: 25 December 2009 at 9:36pm
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can i ask - and i mean this honestly - why would you contest a will?
My grandfather died some years ago and a few of my cousins contested his will. just spoke to one who said "I don't regret it", but the thing i don't understand, i why would you do it? in my opinion it was my grandfather's money to do with whatever he desired. just finding it hard to get my head around. |
Replies:
Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 25 December 2009 at 9:48pm
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I don't get it either. I've never been in that situation granted, but like you say it's the wish of the person bequesting the money. -------------  
 
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Posted By: gypsynita
Date Posted: 25 December 2009 at 11:07pm
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i understand it if you were the child of the deceased and (for example) completely left out of the will in favour of another child... which is pretty much illegal anyway... but grandchildren? nah that's weird ------------- Anita Mum to Cian (Aug 08), Josh (Jun 10) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Katep
Date Posted: 26 December 2009 at 8:14am
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I get it!
My grandfathers GF married him 6 weeks before he died and lefty everything to her. House, car, hairlooms, valuble antiques etc. EVERYTHING. He was very unwell and for his last few months he was not with it at all. My dad and sisters were left nothing that belonged to their mother (my grandmother) who died 25 years ago as all was to go to her. They contested and spent a rather large sum on it. They didn't want his estate now, they wanted it when she died. But instead when this ladydies, EVERYTHING that has any meaning to our family goes to her children. FAIR? I think not! ANyway- just an example of how things are very unfair sometimes! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Mum to the Gorgeous Leah! 7 months |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 26 December 2009 at 8:15am
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Not something I would do. Did they get anything out of it?
I know sometimes it would be necessary due to con-people. But there are a lot of greedy people out there that care more for money that the person & only come out after a death to get what they can. |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 26 December 2009 at 8:26am
I disagree, it is not illegal to leave out anyone & does not matter how close they are. If you get on better with say a grandchild than a child then it is your choice to whom you want to leave things too. I totally understand why people would leave out a child not every child grows up to be a good person & wills often reflect that. But distant relatives very really have a valid claim & a good judge would spot a money hungry slime ball. |
gypsynita wrote:Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 26 December 2009 at 8:28am
That is totally unfair, don't think I would of walked away from that. |
Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 26 December 2009 at 8:44am
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I have a dear friend who was on the recieving end of this sort of situation. She's been with her partner a long time, and supported him through cancer. His family never even offered to help. She kept the business running when he was too sick to get out of bed. They were only married a short while before he died as she never wanted to be married (as a pagan it wasn't something she needed) but he wanted to so her rights were protected when he was gone. After he passed away, the family have dragged her through court a number of times, contesting, because in his will he provided for the only person that had cared enough to help and support him while he was sick. She took him to hospital for all appts and therapies, and in the last few weeks when he couldn't go home, she had friends look after the kids so she could sit by his bedside. His family never came to see him. He was intelligent and in his right mind up to the very end (he had to be he was running a business).
It was contested out of sheer spite and hunger for money (there was very little) and the house (which was left to her, along with the massive mortgage). They have nothing to gain. If they wanted to be acknowledged when he was gone, they should have been around when he was alive. |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 26 December 2009 at 9:00am
It's not illegal, but you do have an obligation to provide for all of your children - if you leave one out, then the Courts don't look upon it very favourably. If you do it on an uneven basis, you need to leave CLEAR reasons why you have done it. Some people have a certain clause which provides for any loans etc given during your lifetime to be taken into account at your death - i.e. their portion of the inheritance is reduced by the amount of the loan. Having worked in the legal industry for a few years, I have seen a few cases. Sometimes it was just people being greedy (she got more than me!!) but other times it was quite reasonable, such as in cases like I think it was katep described. |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 26 December 2009 at 9:15am
I agree, I was talking about the extreme, like a child that has gone off the rails, murder, rape, drugs etc, not in contact with the family, make life hard for the family & so on. Here is a question for you. What about step kids, how do they get included in wills...the ones that are never seen..the ones that got the house & everything when the other parent left. The parent that walked away walked away with nothing & had to start again...does the child get anything? |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 26 December 2009 at 9:19am
unfortunatley there are people out there who have the attitude they are "owed" by everyone! and take it personally if they arent acknowledged....
in a case like that i would like to think that if you talked to the person they would be more than willing to give back things that belonged to the mother. You would think common sense would prevail! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Katep
Date Posted: 26 December 2009 at 9:29am
She ignored us for years. WOuld not answer calls, letters, any sort of communication they tried, the ladies kids would fob us off. SO no, we are not idiots! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
Mum to the Gorgeous Leah! 7 months |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 26 December 2009 at 12:39pm
| I think Bizzy meant, you would think the WOMAN in question would be the one having common sense to pass things onto you, not implying you didn't have common sense - but that she did not. |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 26 December 2009 at 7:30pm
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This is obviously a topic that touches a nerve with some people ...I don't have much experience with it , but I guess its a case of every situation being different .
As for leaving money for your kids , my friend's parents sold their resthome a few years back for a few million , when her parents die all the money is to go to the cancer foundation and 3 other charities , (can't remember which ) ------------- 
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Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 26 December 2009 at 10:00pm
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I can't understand why grandchildren would contest a will. As for contesting a parents will I guess if one of my siblings were cut out or my parents estate went to a new wife I would probably contest the will, out of respect for my late mother who would have wanted everything to be fair, rather than out of greed for myself. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 26 December 2009 at 10:32pm
how does your friend feel about that? |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 27 December 2009 at 2:00am
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shes fine about it, they've always been like that , her parents always make a point of saying how they started off with nothing and why should the kids get their money handed to them , or something like that ....I think they've always been that way , so my friend is more or less used to it ...in the meantime tho, she does get to live in their gorgeous huge apartment only a walk from uni , for free ... -------------
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 27 December 2009 at 9:26am
| caitlynsmygirl, she will be in the opposite situation than a lot of money grubbing people who can not wait for someone to pop their clogs to get their hands on the money. |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 27 December 2009 at 11:42pm
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Never been in the situation but I think when it is my nan's time to go there will be issues with the will. If so Liz I am coming to see you and get advice However I think if the will is done when the deceased is in a good frame of mind then it should be left to their wishes. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 28 December 2009 at 7:27am
| I asked my cousin why and he just sent me an email about it now. I am kinda shocked and kinda not - basically as his father hadn't letf him anything in his will,(was sick for a long time and had no money at all) he felt his grandfather should have left him more. All I can say is "wow" |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 28 December 2009 at 8:30am
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lizzle, like Bizzy said some think they are owed by everyone.
I think if you get anything left to you in a will, count yourself lucky. I want to leave what I can for my kids but with saying that I am not going to bring then up as money hungry get what they can people. I want to teach then not to rely on others or wait for me to pop my clogs. They will learn how to save & know the satisfaction of earning, saving to buy what they want. You have made me do a lot of thinking about wills, & I might throw a question in the topics...I have a stepchild & I don't want included in our will, now I know that would raise a few issues & views. |
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 28 December 2009 at 8:55am
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Jazzy I think that if you are leaving a person out of your will for a reason then you can state that they are not to receive anything. This may make it hard for them to contest the will later
I have been thinking about this since I first saw the thread and thought that I would never contest a will. But then thinking about it now maybe I would under certain circumstances. My Dad's Mum used to live with my parents. They sold their house to buy a bigger one (and a bigger mortgage) and Grandma sold hers so that she could live with them in a self contained unit. Most of the bills for years were paid by my parents except Grandma's groceries, although she did give them some $$ towards the house, maybe 1/8 the cost. My Dad has done alot for Grandma since Grandad died over 20yrs ago. Anyway my Aunt and Uncle have both received $$ from her over the years I believe but in my opinion not done much. In Grandma's will I think she forgives Dad his "loan" and my Aunt and Uncle get the rest. If that is the case then I think it is unfair and I would possibly contest it. Not for any $$ but for some of the family "heirlooms", only what was fair so that all 3 kids had something of my Grandparents. ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: X
Date Posted: 28 December 2009 at 12:53pm
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I would never contest a will. That person has every right to do whatever they like with their belongings, money etc. It is their wish, so why would I try to go against it (even if I don't agree with it).
My dad is on wife number three. They have had a child together (he is only 5 now so there is 26 years between me-the eldest-& my half brother). I know for a fact that my dad has left everything he has to my half-brother when he dies. Do I think it's fair? Well, probably not, but that's not the point. It's my dad's decision. He can do whatever he chooses with his things. And also, if I did have a problem with it, then I should speak up about it while he is still alive & try make him change it, not go behind his back once he is dead & try overrule his wishes. I don't care if no-one leaves me anything when they die. I don't want their stuff or their money. I have memories of them & that's the most important thing. I can't think of anything more disresepectful than squabbling over someone's things when they are gone. I'd like to know that I made my own way in life & didn't need to take anything from anyone to get there. I don't think anyone should expect anything in life-no-one owes us anything. That is what I hope to teach my children. I plan to spend all my money before I die anyway so there's none to fight over after I'm gone 
PS I don't mean anyone any offence by this, it's just my view. I know different people have different views in the subject & it's a very personal matter & can be very sensitive. Myself personally, I think it's all just stuff & not worth all the fighting about. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 28 December 2009 at 5:34pm
exactly ...one thing tho ..please call me Kelly :-) , its quicker to write than Catilynsmygirl :-P -------------
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 28 December 2009 at 5:38pm
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my grandma left equal shares to all three of her sons, including one who she hasn't seen for 40 odd years, and who had absolutley no interest in the fact that she had died, even saying that he didn't think of her as his mother anymore ..imo he doesn't even deserve the honour of being known to that wonderful woman , but , as far as she was concerned , he was her son and that still counted for something so none of us would dream of contesting it .
She left equal amounts to all 5 grandkids, even tho I was definetly the closest to her , Im glad we got the same , the way I see it , she gave me more in love and support and time over 20 odd years than any amount of money is worth . -------------
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Posted By: gypsynita
Date Posted: 28 December 2009 at 8:12pm
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we had huge issues when my grandmother died - she was so desperate to be "fair" that her will was really basic and didn't make provision for any individual belongings. the hardest thing was that she had verbally promised certain pieces (ie: family jewellery, etc) to members of the family, but we only had their word for it. It's a bit OT, but my point is that even though there was quite a bit of money involved, it was the personal things and heirlooms that caused the most fuss... ------------- Anita Mum to Cian (Aug 08), Josh (Jun 10) http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 28 December 2009 at 8:20pm
| TBH I can understand fighting over the things - there is an elephant my nana has that I will fight for, but fighting for money? I don't get it. |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 29 December 2009 at 12:50am
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The only thing my grandma had that I wanted was the necklace she wore and said I could have, but there is no record of that as far as I know, and I don't want to ask my aunt and uncle...and besides, its gold, and I don't wear gold .... -------------
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Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 29 December 2009 at 10:10am
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I guess it depends on your circumstances. My parents were married 50 years before my mother passed away. She left her share to us with my father having life interest. Unfortunately their lawyer stuffed up and put everything in joint names not tenants in common share which meant Dad inherited everything that was hers except the one house they lived in. It was my mothers intention that we eventually got her share of the rental properties etc but Dad received the income from them while he was alive. If Dad were to change his will and leave everything to say charity, or cut out one of my siblings, I would feel compelled to contest the will so my mothers final wishes were honored, but only for her share. As for Dad, if he felt so strongly he wanted to cut me out of his will now I would respect that and walk away. My mothers final wishes were not honored and my siblings and I decided not to contest her will to make it happen, out of respect for my father. We have a slightly complicated situation though.
I have cousins whose father remarried and left behind two boys in their teen years. My cousins are in their early 50's and have all made a life for themselves. My uncle left everything to the two younger boys (about 12 and 17 I think). Cousins are unhappy but decided it wasn't worth the expense of contesting the will. I actually think Uncle did the right thing, the boys are still young and will need some money to finish their education and give them a bit of a start. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 29 December 2009 at 1:08pm
Yeah I have "views" on that. If I had a child prior to the ones I have now with DH I would want him to tell me that he planned to leave my child out of his will, that way instead of my entire estate going to him I could provide for the child that he is not going to provide for. So I would leave a percentage to DH and a percentage to my firstborn. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 29 December 2009 at 1:45pm
ha ha Julia new you would. I have been reading the stories on her who have had a parent remarry & how things worked out for them & I was surprised with some that had been left out after years of living with that parent. |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 29 December 2009 at 2:00pm
sorry taking this out 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 29 December 2009 at 2:51pm
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as much as i hate to say it jazzy - don't assume the kid won't want anything and won;t go after it. I would get your Dh to stipulate that because the house was given to the mother and child, that is the majority of his "legacy" so to speak.
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 29 December 2009 at 3:05pm
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lizzle, you are right & that is why I will state it in the will.
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 29 December 2009 at 3:35pm
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I think the person making out the will should be able to leave there belonging to whom ever they like & not have to do it out of a feeling of that it is the way it should be.
Kelly, I think your friends parents are on the right track, but saying that I could not leave my kids out. But I do like there reasons for doing it. I have worked hard for what I have & a lot of things are from my family & they are to stay in my family. I also think no kids should have the right to anything when 1 parent dies it should all go to the partner, but clauses can be put in if they remarry or die. I would hate my kids or on outside party fighting over my things. DH needs to buy me more jewelery to share out between the 3, ha ha. |
Posted By: sunnyhoney
Date Posted: 29 December 2009 at 6:17pm
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hmm, interesting topic.
I think we will have problems with the MIL's will when she dies. She has threatened to cut DH out several times because she doesn't like me (and we have had major issues). DH still does things for her and she has regular contact with her grandchild. I personally couldn't care less about her money and property and have never assumed to be in her will but I think it is unfair to make DH and his children miss out because of her spitefulness to prove her point to me. If things go the way we expect (ie what is above) then we will contest the will. That is if we can afford to. But if it's just a will and someones wishes then there is probably no reason to contest I suppose...as long as it is fair thinking on the dead person's part. ------------- Mum to: Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 29 December 2009 at 7:06pm
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sunnyhoney, your MIL sounds like a Bitch.
I have read my IL's will. DH is in there with his siblings, I am not nor are any other partners or grand-kids, & I think that is the way it should be, after all it is their things & they should go to their kids. I will get everything if I out live DH anyway. The good things about will are you can change them whenever. I would not include my kids partners in my will, as they may split up, remarry etc. |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 29 December 2009 at 7:20pm
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Odettenz, I have just reread your post & I think it is very well written & agree with you.
My friend has 2 step-kids (in their 20s)& 3 (5yrs & younger) with her DH, she has her will done down to the plants. Her & DH divide some things in half, her half is divided between their 3 kids, his half is divided between all the kids. Most of the things go to their kids & not the SK. They have rentals under their kids names so the other children have no claim on them. If her DH dies first then she gets everything & nothing for the step-kids. |
Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 30 December 2009 at 9:16am
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Under normal circumstances, and I still believe this now, wills should be left alone and respected. But I also think people should have guidance and help when making a will, especially when they're old.
I did consider contesting my grandmother's will when I was younger. Here's why: My grandmother and I were exceptionally close. I lived with her after I left home at 18 until she died suddenly. Her three children (including my mum) were not very good to her. They were volatile relationships, very firey and long periods would go by where noone was talking to anyone else. My grandmother told me that she had decided not to leave her house to her children, but instead to leave it to her six grandchildren to pay for their educations. She had this will written up with a solicitor, but died before signing it. So, they went off her old will which left everything to her children. Of course, that wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for all the infighting that went on, it was so horrible. I did consider contesting it, but I was only 18 and completely out of my depth so I let it go. But it angered me to watch the money (there wasn't heaps) get whittled away on drugs, alcohol, TAB and cars. I still have a $12k student loan by the way! But that wasn't what upset me. 
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Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 30 December 2009 at 1:19pm
| When my Nana died (while I was pregnant) I was left with nothing. Not even a cookbook. It hurts, I would have loved something special to remember her by - some of her necklaces (not gold or silver, just costume jewellery) she promised to me verbally a number of times. But there was no mention of that in the will. So I have my memories, and a beautiful grave to take my daughter to (her son's first grandchild, they never got to meet as she passed away while I was pregnant). I would never contest the will, nor would I ask for anything. As much as I want something to show my daughter how amazing Nana was, if she wanted things this way then this is the way I'll leave them. |