Nudie Bars.
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=30854
Printed Date: 06 October 2025 at 7:54pm
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Topic: Nudie Bars.
Posted By: MissAngel
Subject: Nudie Bars.
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 8:28pm
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Right, so i'm having a bit of a mental at the moment because my stupid husband has decided he's going out to look at someone elses boobs and arse with my BIL. I am NOT impressed.
I have no problem with these establishments, theres always a need for them etc etc, but I just dont want my husband going! I'm having enough problems with feeling unwanted etc etc (thanks pregnancy, I hate you) He thinks i'm overracting and my BIL is just sitting there telling me that i'm a prude and a nanna etc. I cant stop him from going out (they're going to the casino) but if I find out they've been to the nudies i'll be very very angry! Hes a sh*t liar and i'll find out. I'm not insecure or worried about trust bla bla, but I know for a fact that my BIL will buy him a lapdance and he doesnt need someone elses boobies rubbed in his face tbh. What do I do!? Am I being a nanna and a prude or will he be sleeping in the spare room until he's understood why I dont want him to go? ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: X
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 8:49pm
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Missangel I DEFINITELY would not let my DH go to a nudie bar. I don't care if it makes me a prude or a nana or a controlling beearch-I think those places are demeaning to women & disgusting. And in fact if my DH even asked to go I would pack his things for him. We don't have that sort of marriage. If he wants a lapdance I am happy to oblige. I don't see why he needs to visit places like that.
Luckily my DH is really good & wouldn't dream of going. I say tell your BIL to go to hell & tell your DH that he is NOT going unless he wants to come home to his clothes outside on the lawn & the locks changed.  And tell him you are happy to go get some lingerie on & give him a private lapdance instead.------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 8:49pm
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You're not a Nana or a prude.
I'd be throwing a tanty myself...but they are the standards we've set in our relationship. I'm not knocking anyone else...just saying I'm a strict wifey I guess. That doesn't sound so good 
Anyways I don't know about the spare room treatment, I think it's a fight naked on the couch one. So he can have all that extra time to build you up, and when he can see what he gets at home for free maybe he won't feel the need to have BIL buy him lapdances. I hope you have a girly treat yourself type night planned!! Don't sit and stew and worry. It's not good for you  -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 9:16pm
I wouldn't appreciate DP going to one of those places  ...and if he did...we'd def be sleeping in seperate beds..and I'd be giving the silent treatment!...though in saying that I want to visit one...one day  ...just for a geez..see what the fuss is all about lol------------- 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 9:21pm
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maybe a slight over reaction.... i sent my husband to one before our wedding. and quite frankly he didnt even enjoy it that much.
Now i have a problem with lying though and if he lied about not going then he would find himself in big trouble! i think too your BIL was a bit rude and it didnt really have anything to do with him. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 9:25pm
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Yea see this is another annoying thing, he threw the 'we havent had sex in 5 months' thing at me, so he got a slapped face and a mouth full of nasty words. Smart bastard, he wants me to have his kids, deal with it! God. Way to bring me down. I know it was one of those in the heat of the moment things but still!
Oh well, I guess I will see what happens then. ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 9:28pm
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I wouldn't have a problem with DH going to a nudie bar if he told me about it. They're not my cup of tea (or his) but I know he's gone with mates for stag nights and stuff in the past. I WOULD have a problem with a lapdance or if he lied about going somewhere like that though.
Also agree with Bizzy re your BIL being very rude calling you names. If you're not happy about it, that's your prerogitive and it's none of HIS business. I think I'd be more pi$$ed off about the name calling - and while I am more than capable of sticking up for myself, I would be pretty upset if DH let someone in his family speak to me like that without saying something. ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 9:32pm
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If my DH made a comment like that EVER (let alone while I was carrying his child!!!) he would be sleeping in the garden, not the spare bed!
I don't think you're overreacting, I think he was being mean in his "argument" for going and he has lots of kissing up to do! ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 9:39pm
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ouch - if i slapped my husband and gave him a mouth full of nasty words then i think he would be justified in going to a nudey bar and would probably do it just out of spite! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 9:48pm
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I completely agree with kiwisj - not my dh's cup of tea but I have no probs with him going if its a special occasion - would NOT be impressed with a lapdance though, or lying .... and as for the no sex comment - I'd be furious too!!!!! ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 10:17pm
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hmm seems im in the minority on this one, just doesnt bother me in the slightest.
DH can go whenever he likes, he has been twice since we have been together, both for stags..... I do have a look but dont touch policy so wouldnt be ok with the lap dance, but then neither would he, sooooo painfully shy I think he might faint LOL. Not very nice of him to throw that in your face, but mine would go to spite me too if I slapped him in the face... not a big fan of violence to make a point really. 
Hope it doesnt turn into a massive fight for you and your DH. -------------   
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Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 10:18pm
| I'd happily send my DP to a strip club - those ladies are professional dancers, who are there for one reason only - to make money by dancing. They train for hours each day, and work up to 13 hours on a big night shift (Friday or Saturday). They have no interest in the men walking through the door of the club - in fact after dealing with men that think they can touch, men that think they can pick up a stripper, and then the men that don't seem to understand that DANCER is NOT another word for hooker - men are the last thing they want. Your man could not be safer. He is more likely to get up to mischief at the pub. Lighten up, it's just a show. The only difference between a lap dance and a stage dance is the size of the audience. |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 10:50pm
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I think I also am in the minority here. I really don't care if he goes to those places... which he doesn't very often, only on big nights out with mates for special occasions. It's not like he hangs out there every night, it's not like he knows them by name! LOL
At the end of the day... he's coming home to you. Think of it this way, It's like seeing some awesome car drive past you, for a moment, you wonder and think what it'd be like to own that car, to drive that car, but it turns the corner and you thank goodness for your car you have, your car that's taken you so many places, your trusty car that you know and love, and hey, in a few minutes you forget that other car... Guys like to look, we all know that. I'd rather him be somewhere like that than getting up close and personal with some skank in a pub somewhere. In our house the motto is "don't sweat the small stuff" we are ruthlessly truthful, and open and honest about things, strip clubs don't bother me, he has female friends, lots of them, that doesn't bother me either. As he's often said, yeah some of the chicks at those places do have large "racks" and yeah they might be something to look at, but who cares, fun for a moment not for a lifetime. lol he's had plenty of lap dances, his mates thinks it's fun to shout them to the little guy. It's a laugh, he comes home, he tells me, we laugh, I could never live up to them in body, but it's our souls, our minds that have the connection. You said it doesn't come down to trust, but then what is it? Is it that (and I know, cos I've been there too) by this stage in your pregnancy, you do get to the point where you feel like he'd probably rather look at any other person than the tired, preggo ball of hormones that we all turn into. If so then you need to stop being so down on yourself, he's with you for a reason, and he loves YOU. lets face it.. guys just like girly bits.. Give him a break. Yeah he shouldn't have said the no sex in 5 months thing, that's not fair at all, but if he isn't getting any, then at least let him look and get some jollies somewhere else so he'll stop annoying you for something you maybe don't want. Just my 2 cents... and not meaning to offend at all. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 10:52pm
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I'm in the same boat as Flutterby as far as me and my DH go, though I do understand that you're not in a very happy place at the moment by the sound of things. Maybe it would be an idea to take a little time before baby arrives and address some of the other issues that might be going on? ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 10:57pm
LOL Janine your post reminds me of what my mum always says: "It doesn't matter where they get their appetite as long as they eat at home"  I'm another one that's not bothered by it, although maybe that's because I know the times mine has been (for stags) he has been nonplussed. (Might be a different story if he showed a bit more interest in doing it more often.)
I'm with those who've commented on the name calling and possible lying - I would find that unacceptable. (But then I think slapping him is unacceptable too, sorry - although that was a sh!tty thing for him to say, esp in front of someone else.)------------- 
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: hannibal
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 10:59pm
| Sorry I don't think I'd be too impressed. I would have asked the BIL in law to leave (if he as in the house) and if hubby thought he as going to a nudie bar well good on him as A. I would probably turn up at the nudie bar and cause a scene or B. Have his clothes thrown outside for him! I did that once when he pissed me off thinking he was going to play golf with a tart he worked with - I just couldn't stand the girl. Knowing that I didn't like her he said he was going to play with so and so (which he was) but she was also going and when she phoned asking if he was on his way I said he was - and promptly phoned him and told him to get his sorry a** home and if not I would come out to the golf course and cause a scene, when he got home his clothes where outside and he had a choice stay home and put them away or go and play! We are still together 13 years later. |
Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 11:12pm
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I'm even further down in the minority as my DP goes with a close-knit circle of guy freinds (all happily married/attached) to a 'titty-bar' (their words, not mine lol) on most thursday nights (i.e topless waitresses) As someone else said, we have a 'window shopping' policy... 'Oooh that looks nice, but we dont have the money for something we dont NEED' and walk right past.
I know he wouldnt do anything that wasnt above board, and I trust him implicitly I would be highly brassed off had he made a comment such as your hubby has, but I wouldnt be slapping him either... he would more than likely get the opposite reaction in that things would get rather chilly around home until an apology or maaaaajor butt kissing happened. As a bit of aside humour... it was ME moaning about not getting any in months, not DP in the latter stages of pregnancy! We had an early labour scare at 29 weeks straight after some really good fun... and he put his foot down and said no more! Then I had to wait for c-section scar to heal, boobs to stop randomly spurting etc... I was the one getting fustrated in the end lol! ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 11:19pm
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I would not be happy at all with DH being at a strip club, or getting his "jollies" anywhere else, TBH. That is the way our marriage is. He wouldn't be happy with the roles reversed, either.
To me it's about respect, if I asked DH not to do something because it made me feel uncomfortable or bad, then I would be really upset if he did not respect my feelings. I think if it's something that makes you deeply unhappy, he should care about that, and you should have a discussion with him about it at some stage, and let him know (calmly) how it makes you feel and why you don't want him doing it. If he can't accept your point of view and make some sacrifices then I guess it's something you will have to work out what to do about. *hugs* ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 08 January 2010 at 11:40pm
| I agree with Mum2Paris and Weegee they have said all that I would say. |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 12:50am
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I agree with mum2paris et al..
TBH I would rather he looks in the windows and I know about it than shops elsewhere and hides the dockets so to speak. A relationship with secrets is not good. A fact of life is no matter how hot you are they will alays appreciate other women. Appreciate dosen't mean cheat with. My husband says (albiet jokingly cos he would never dis me this way...) show me a goo dlooking woman and I'll show you a man sick of rooting her - which means (ina cave man way ) no matter how hot we all annoy the hell out of them... Very rude an inappropriate your sex life or lack of gets brought into it as that is your business. JMHO but the more you say NO WAY NOT ACCECPTABLE etc to this kind of stuff (and I am assuming its not every weekend type of carry on, or else that is something to worry about) the more it becomes hidden, lied about and more exciting (taboo) so more likely to happen... I have a saying that you might see the masters at the art musem but you have the mona lisa at home TBH.. lighten up a bit, at least he's been honest about it, I would be more angry and hurt if he had lied about it first... ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 8:41am
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I too wouldnt care in the slightest if SD wanted or went to places like that, golly my sport of choice is to stand on stage in a tiny bikini showing off my body, so I appreciate the female form. - and as a side note, pole dancing is blardy hard! I would like to go and watch too .. they even have competitions (check it out on you tube), those women are amazingly athletic!
HOWEVER .. to be honest, when I was a pregnant ball of hormones .. I think I would have cared, so in a way I can see where you are coming from. When I was pregnant, hormonal and feeling blah, I needed him to make me feel special and going out to look at other women who didnt have big swissballs around their middle wouldnt have helped in the slightest. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 9:05am
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I think you have a lot of issues & not just a strip club.
I don't agree with hitting your DH & hurling abuse at him no matter what. After all he stated a true fact, not in the best situation but out of anger. He has not had sex in 5mths that is a long time foe a guy in a relationship to go without it. He is probably wondering if he will ever get it again. I take it your BIL is his brother. Sounds like you have ongoing issues & don't get on. Your DH sounds immature & is disrespectful to you, he should not allow him to talk to you like that, but to join in just shows him to be a pig. Maybe you both could sit down & talk about things & deal with the real issues. |
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 9:11am
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I'd care. There's two people in this marriage, and that's it. I think we're both pretty comfortable that neither of us is happy with the other working up an appetite anywhere else (although I love that phrase, it cracks me up). That's basically one of the cores of our relationship - if I found DH had been in one, he'd be heading out for a while, and I'm not kidding.
In saying that, DH and I are both on the same page, and it's always been like that. It obvious from people's replies that there's a fair range of views on whether strip clubs are OK (and obvious from the fact they exist that people are comfortable going to them  ), even if that's not DH's and my point of view. Just like I struggle to see how people could not have a problem with it, people with different points of view probably struggle to see how some do. If your DH comes from that camp, I can understand how he's probably not taking it very seriously, especially as it sounds like he's probably a bit peeved right now.
To be bluntly honest (sorry!), if DH hadn't been getting any for five months, I could also kind of understand him slipping up. He is human, afterall. It sounds like there's deeper stuff going on here, and this strip club stuff is just part of it. Have you guys thought about asking for help? It's pretty normal to go through rough patches, and it would be a huge pity to see your relationship dissolve because you've hit one. -------------   
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 9:11am
That maybe true up to a point, but there are ones who will get it on for money or drugs. At the end of the day it is down to trust & if you are in a relationship that is solid you will have no problems. |
Flutterby wrote:Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 9:28am
| Jazzy - Um no. Those ladies who will get it on for money or drugs choose to work as prostitutes because it's easy money. Do you have any idea what a dancer earns? On a slow night those girls go home with $70 in thier wallet - sometimes less by the time they pay club fees. How many exotic dancers do you know? And not the hookers that lie and tell people outside the industry that "I'm only dancing". |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 9:32am
| Flutterby are you a dancer? |
Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 9:35am
| LOL Nope, I'm a mum! I used to dance - I trained with an international touring group. |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 9:42am
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you seam very defensive of strip club dancers.
I don't personally know any or any prostitutes, I don't think much of them or there profession, it is just a meat market. I am a mum & I don't have any girls but would hate it if I did & she ended up a stripper "dancer" what ever in a club. |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 9:45am
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I know some dancers, and the ones I know would gag at the thought of sleeping with the men who go in. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 9:53am
| Yes, I'm defensive - a lot of people form opinions without information. My mother watched me perform - and trust me, it was a perfomance - training for 4+ hours a day, 6 days a week, to learn fully choreographed routines. I find it interesting that you see the industry as a meat market - do you have the same point of view on all stage shows eg Cats by Andrew Lloyd Webber? The girls performing in that are doing the same thing... making money, by dancing for an audience. The same rules apply - the dancer can enter the audience to allow them to feel included in the show, and see the costumes up close, but are in no way allowed to touch the performer,,,, |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 10:01am
Think a lot of woman would gag at the thought of sleeping with the men who go in. ha ha |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 10:08am
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Flutterby there is always a flip side to every coin. Strip clubs are not everyone's cup of tea & not all strip clubs are respectable classy places.
Just keeping an open mine & giving my option
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 10:15am
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I guess I think of it the same way as Flutterby, they are dancers.
Yes there are some seedy nudie bars around the world that are drugged up girls girating around a pole with their wares on display.. not really dancing, not really with it.. dont know of any in Akl... Have seen some in the states. I agree totally with the comment about pole dancers, man that is HARD and they are awesome. The strength they have! I really do hope things have calmed down now and you are not still fighting. -------------
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Posted By: X
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 10:47am
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I think it really comes down to the sort of relationship you have & the ground rules you have set in place. I think it's fine if the two of you have agreed that those sort of things are acceptable. It needs to be reciprical though-if your DH is going to nudie bars then you should be allowed to as well. Relationships should be based on mutual respect & trust. I think as long as you both agree then there will be no problems.
My DH & I have agreed that strip clubs & strippers are out of bounds (for both of us). Neither of us are into that sort of thing. I don't have a problem with other men going, as long as their wives are allowed to do that sort of thing too & they are honest with their wives about their whereabouts. I do think it's a bit insensitive when your wife is pregnant & feeling insecure though, because it's bound to make her feel worse. Maybe Missangel you & DH need to sit down & discuss what is & isn't acceptable in your relationship so that he knows. Then there can be no further arguments because you have ground rules in place (for both parties to adhere to). How would DH feel if you went to a nudie bar or had a male stripper round? Would he be okay with you getting a lapdance? I also don't agree with violence. If I slapped my DH I would totally expect him to slap me back & I wouldn't moan about it. If I'm going to dish it out I should expect it back. Violence is one more thing we find unacceptable in our relationship (it's another mutual respect thing). Good luck sorting stuff out-sounds like you just need to sit down & have a good chat. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 11:00am
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I agree with Flutterby I fully respect strippers and I enjoy watching them, it is not as easy as it looks. Very very few of them do actually sleep with the guys so I personally have no problem with men going there.
However the fact that you are not ok with it makes me feel that you guys need to work it out. I think its important to be on the same page and maybe you both need to give a little. |
Posted By: kellie
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 11:41am
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I wouldn't be happy with my hubby getting a lap dance, especially if I was pregnant. ------------- 
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Posted By: sunnyhoney
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 12:06pm
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I don't think that audiences who go see Cats (for example) are going to get their "jollies" but dance/strip clubs it is obvious why the patrons are there - they are very different types of performances.
I think it is totally disrespectful of your DH to completely disregard your feelings on this matter. Even more especially since you are pg...Would he be ok with you going to a similar place and getting a lapdance from a male performer? Btw, the no sex in 5 months...you are missing out too! He ain't the only one. But probably not the best idea to slap him and verbally abuse him, it just means you sink down to his and the BIL level. However, in saying that, in the same position, I would have struggled in not doing so too. I also think your BIL is fuelling the fire so to speak....why is he encouraging your DH and egging him on? He should have no place in your marital issues. The other ladies have hinted that there are other problems going on, now I don't know anything about that but hope you find a way that works for both of you soon. ------------- Mum to: Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz |
Posted By: bext1
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 1:13pm
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if it was me, I would probably insist on going too. Not much fun for him then!! Plus it would be too awkward for BIL to buy him a lapdance with the wife there!!
DP hasn't been to any, I don't think he would. It's not really our scene. But I guess all men are different. ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 2:02pm
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I could care less if DH went to a strip club, I've been to see the boys strip why can't he go see the girls.
As Flutterby has posted they're dancers and not in the least interested in anything with any of the men that go to them. I'm pretty comfortable with my sexuality and the fidelity of my marriage what's wrong with a bit of looking every now and then might help stoke the fires when he gets home. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 2:14pm
Hehe... I kind of like that. Wouldn't do it myself, but can kind of see the logic. I wonder if it would work? Would definitely cramp BIL's style! -------------
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 7:25pm
Im assuming you mean keeping an open mind, Jazzy, and to be quite honest, your very rude comments directed towards flutterby would suggest your mind is anything BUT open. Yep you are entitled to your opinion, but "having a go" at someones occupation isn't very nice... ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 7:53pm
So are you going to have a go at the others who have put similar comments like mine or are you just going to single me out?????? |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 7:58pm
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Nope, just you. I think it was the part about dancers and meat markets and don't think much of them or whatever it was etc that did it for me, straight after the bit where you said you don't know any . BIG assumption, I thought.
And you were also the only one taking a punt at flutterby. I'm not a dancer/stripper/hooker or whatever, but I have immense respect for anyone who WORKS for a living instead of sitting round with their hands ot for the dole, dpb whatever. I'm a "corperate" and believe me, there is alot of "druggies" and people of low moral character in that environment too, so I think its a bit rich to tar all dancers/strippers etc with the druggie etc brush. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 8:03pm
maybe you need to watch some docos |
Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 8:06pm
| Oh neat - what doco's have been done lately in NZ that I missed? |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 8:18pm
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Watching some "docos" about the sex industry and its many branches no more makes you an expert on all those that work within it than watching ER makes me a Dr.
Most docos on those things, in fact on anything focus on one point - and the "sex industry" it's always going to be that bad points. As you mentioned you don't actually know anyone in the industry, so I fail to see how you can make an assumption that all of the people in that industry are "just like it is on that doco". Anyhow, I just called you out because you were extremely rude to flutterby and very judgemental condsidering you don't know her, nor do you, by your own admission know anyone who works in that industry. Walk a mile in someones shoes before you get up on your judgmental horse about htier lifestyle/career/etc choices. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 8:42pm
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Right, this is to Miss Angel , im not going to tell you that I think you were wrong, Im not going to tell you what I would have done in your position , im going to say , that im sorry you aren't feeling very happy atm , and that you feel even worse now .
So all im giving you is *hugs* and I hope you feel better soon (perhaps when pregnancy is over ) In the meantime , put your favourite angry song on , (for me its Alanis Morisettes "outta know " ) or your own favorite sexy song, (for me its Dirrty ) and dance, yell and sing your little heart out . AND as far as pole dancing goes, I can do it, Oh yes, I can do more than cook . ------------- 
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Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 8:56pm
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Just thought I'd add, pre kids DH and I used to semi-regularly go out to strip clubs together with the 'boys'... it was all in good humor and more often than not they'd be the one giving me the play money to shove in the dancers tops / gstrings / boobs I had and still have friends who work in the industry and they are FAR from the type of women who are just after a drug fix or a shag on the sly with a patron. In fact, the male strippers I've known are the ones who tend to be a bit randy! ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 9:03pm
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Sorry haven't read replies but would just put m2c in for MissAngel
If you have a problem with it, then it's a serious issue and you need to talk to your DH about what is and isn't acceptable in your relationship. For us, I'm quite happy for DH to go to strip clubs, mind you it only happens on special occasions (stags dos etc or if he gets let in for free) and sometimes we go as a group. One of my besties was a stripper for a year. She's a lovely person and an amazing dancer. I watch them because I love watching them dance (it takes amazing strength to do it). As for drugs as someone mentioned, well she's not a druggie (she did it to get enough money to start her own business - not my cup of tea but whatever works for you I guess) and a lot of the other chicks I've met from the place she worked (the most prominent one in Chch and one in Welly) weren't druggies either. A lot of them DO have daddy issues though. I have an issue with touching. I wouldn't think DH would want me touching another man, so the same goes for him. He did get dragged up on stage for his stags do, but that's just innocent fun IMO. Like I said earlier, you need to talk to DH and discuss what's acceptable for you guys as everyone's different. And for other people who may not be as open-minded and have said a few names about strippers, honestly I've had my eyes opened by knowing a few people in the profession and while there is a seedy side (just as there is in churches, schools, hospitals, law firms) a lot of ladies are there to earn a living and that's it. |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 9:53pm
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Your partner is just that your partner. Not your child ect. So sit down with him and discuss this with him and tell him why you dont want him to go and how this is making you feel. I bet you if he cares about you and love you that he will decide not to go. Dont attack him or shout or yell ect.
However if I even dared to slap my husband I can pretty much tell you he would have duct tape me until he would be sure I wont hurt him or myself and he will pretty much treat me like a naughty child if I behaved that way. As for my personal opinion on nudie bars. I will have no problem with hubby going but would be pretty upset if he went and I had to find out afterwards ect. He has to go to parties after projects quite often and have girls hit on him quite openly and he keeps on showing them his ring and saying that he is married. He even tries to push them onto the single guys (not talking about dancers here just ordinary girls). So have no trust issues between us. And have no objections to going with him to one either. I might even be so inclined to buy him a lap dance.  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 10:21pm
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I wouldn't mind if my DH went to a strip club. As long as it was for a special occasion and not on a nightly basis!
We have often gone out on the town and have talked about going in together. I know he will be sitting there getting his jollies and looking forward to finishing it off with me at home
I knew a stripper and she was a Gymnast and a dancer - she was very talented. I can also see how you would be feeling at the moment. When I was pregnant DH went out to a cocktail party and I was so upset. When I dropped him off at the venue all the girls looked beautiful in their dresses, and there was me with my big belly and trackpants. I don't think there is a right or wrong it just depends on your relationship and what you are comfortable with. If my DH was not comfortable with me seeing strippers I would be respectful of that. |
Posted By: palomino
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 10:32pm
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At least he told you. there is far worse things he could be doing than visiting nudie bars. Pregnancy hormones are a bitch though so can kinda understand where you are coming from.
Pre baby i used to go with the boys. Great fun and none of them ever got to do anything with a dancer much to their dissapointment. |
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 10:52pm
Oh, well said. I kind of wish I'd written my post more like that. So, belated hugs from me as well, because regardless what the rest of us would / wouldn't do, it's obvious you feel stink and nedd some love and care. -------------
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 09 January 2010 at 11:16pm
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Oh bugger...I'm reading these posts thinking "we havent discussed something like this in our marriage...sh*t....we missed a step" You guys really have discussed this and made rules??????
I dont think we have any rules (other than he puts the rubbish out...and TBH...he breaks that one often )
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 12:00am
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We don't have "rules" ... we are both adults and best friends, we know each other well enough to know what is and isn't cool... I don't belive in "letting" him do stuff, he is an adult and I am not his mother... as in a friend often says to me she can't believe I "let" hubby go to the pub....goodness me!
That said we do have a sort of thing that if his integrity would be questioned by someone else, then he should think twice - as in he plays golf weekly with and speaks to every couple of days to (about boring golf) a lady friend of ours, and it dosen't bother me at all, nothing is hidden, no secrets etc (I even know they dated about ten years ago) however I did ask him not to socialise with her alone (after golf etc) - it didn't bother me, but the gossip, innuendos and questions of his integrity did bother me. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 8:19am
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Miss Angel, personally yeah I wouldn't like my DH going to nudie bars at all... I would feel uncomfortable with him oogling over another lady's naked body. Maybe it makes me a prude, but that's how I feel about it and that's that! But yeah the thing is to communicate it to your DH how you feel about it and why - put it onto words otherwise he's not gonna understand how stink it makes you feel.
------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 9:02am
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I'm thinking that most marriages have 'rules', even if you have specifically talked about them or phrased it like that. I mean, for most of us, I'm guessing that sleeping with someone else is out (we might have even talked about that one ). But how about kissing someone else? I don't think DH and I have ever sat down and said 'Ok, you can't kiss other men/women', but we both know that that's cheating, in our books, and if I caught DH at it, I think he'd understand why his clothes were on the lawn. In our marriage, oogling other naked men/women is also out. I can't remember sitting down and making a 'rule' that that was the case, but I know we both agree on that.
Like fattartsrock kind of said, they're not 'rules' as such anyway. It's more about loving the other person and respecting what hurts them. -------------
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 9:06am
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Same here hopes. The only reason the strippers thing came up is because when we first go together he was going to one and he asked if it would upset me.
I also wish I had written something like Kelly now 
I really do hope you are feeling better missangel.... -------------
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 9:15am
exactly my thoughts. though my Dh isnt shy he just respects me enough not to have a lapdance.. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 9:23am
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For me it comes down to 2 things trust & respect. If you have those you have a solid base for a relationship.
We both know what we have to loose & we have children to factor in that. I would not stop DH from going anywhere or seeing anyone & he know that & I think because he knows he has that freedom he chooses not to use it & prefers to do things as a family & as a couple. |
Posted By: Treen
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 1:10pm
I'm not sure what the New Zealand industry's like these days but several years ago I used to frequent two of Auckland's better known strip joints and I often saw men being led out the back or upstairs. It was all a bit hush hush as this was before the prostitution laws had changed but I've had mates claim that they have gotten more than just a lappie in the past. Not from the actual dancers themselves, but the hostesses who wander scantily clad through the audience. I also had a flatmate who started working part time at one of the said strip joints as a hostess. After a matter of weeks, she was bringing home ridiculous amounts of cash and all of a sudden had a new car, new clothes, new bedroom suite etc. My other flatmate at the time told me that she had admitted to giving out blow jobs as well as drinks. Just talking over brekkie with DH on this interesting topic, he told be about another strip joint in Auckland he was at with a mate about 10 years ago. His mate offered to shout him "some extras" which DH took to meaning a lappie. They were escorted into separate rooms where DH was given a list of things to choose from including a blow job and "the works." He told her he just wanted a lappie and was told that he had to go back upstairs for that (apparently). So whilst the dancers themselves may not be offering additional services, they may still be on offer at the establishment. Personally, I'm not particularly fussed with strip joints however, I would think it was a bit on the nose if DH told me he and his brother were going out to one while I was at home pregnant. If it was a special occasion like a stag do or 40th then sure, but I'd feel a bit odd if he were going just for something to do. We don't have rules in our relationship either but if DH sensed I wasn't particularly comfortable with a matter such as this, I don't think he'd do it. I'm not sure what I'd do in your situation. Arguing about it seems to be making matters worse. I'd possibly take off for a weekend trip to a day spa with the girls that night and just distance myself for a while. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kellie
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 1:21pm
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Treen I agree with your post.
I am quite good friends with the doorman at the Whitehouse in Auckland (Quite a 'classy' place.) His wife is a stripper there too. There is definitely alot of drugs, and alot of extras going on. Thats not to say all strippers are like this of course, but there is a few. -------------
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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 1:32pm
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I personally couldn't care less if my DH went to a strip club, I don't understand what the big deal is. It is just like going to the beach where there are plenty of semi-naked women (some with great figures), I know he looks at them, hell I look at them too! It's human nature.
I think all relationships have unspoken boundaries, some more relaxed than others but I don't agree with setting rules for the other person. We're adults! It is important to have similar values in a marriage but not force yours onto the other one, I don't think that sort of relationship would work and would only result in arguments and resentment. |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 1:47pm
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We definitely have "rules" in our marriage, but they are just boundaries that we have both agreed on. It's not like I'm a whip-wielding wife or anything, or vice versa. DH has said he wouldn't like to go to a strip club or anything anyway, because while he may get some pleasure out of ogling girls at the time, ultimately it wouldn't make him feel good because he would know I felt hurt and both he and I agree that we don't want each other ogling other people's bodies. And sure, he may notice a good looking girl in the street or at the beach (how can you avoid scantily clad people?) but he tries not to look, and certainly doesn't ogle at them. Just like I try not to do that with shirtless guys or something, for him. Those are our boundaries.
I guess there are different boundaries in every marriage - some no looking elsewhere, some looking but not touching, some touching but not more, others might be keen on a menage trois, who knows!! I know where we stand in our marriage, we both believe that looking may lead to further temptation so I guess people would call us "prudes", but that's what we feel is right for us. To me the important thing is that both people in the relationship feel comfortable with what is going on, and if not, then it becomes a problem. It's just about loving and respecting your partner, I feel. ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 1:55pm
I really think there was no need for this comment. Maybe you didn't mean it in a nasty way. But I think that is one of those things where if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. She came on here for advice, not to have people throw stones at her. -------------   
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Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 2:09pm
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My opinion is, I wouldn't be ok with my DP going to a strip bar ever. And yes it is because I am insecure. I don't have a body like that and I don't wanting him perving at bodies like that. I would be jealous. Maybe I'm a weirdo, but I don't even like him looking at FHM's or Ralph. Yes I know they are air brushed, but they do have that great figure after all, even if it is air brushed. Sure they probably work hard to maintain that figure. But I will never look like that, so I don't want my partner appreciating visually a better body then mine. I'd probably go nuts at my DP if he did decide to go to a strip club without my knowledge. If he asked if it was ok to go to one, I would say NO. So here's hoping if we get married one day, he won't be dragged to one. As if his friends or family tried that, I'd go nuts at them too and I wouldn't care how that made me look.
As for people with differing opinions on this subject, all good, that is your opinion after all and you are entitled to have an opinion. -------------
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 2:28pm
What so you are saying there are no other issues in her post...what about the BIL was he not out of line & causing problems? Is it ok to hit your DH in the face & verbally abuse him? Is it ok for your DH to make you feel unhappy & insecure in while you you are pg or at anytime? If you take the time to go back & read my post you will see I said they should sit down & talk, Instead of dissecting my comments & trying to make something out of nothing. After all they are bring a baby in to the world, happy parents = happy family. |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 2:31pm
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Treen, thanks for your post it was very well said & informative.
At least at the beach you don't have to pay for looking, ha ha
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Posted By: sunnyhoney
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 2:46pm
Well said Little Bug :) ------------- Mum to: Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz |
Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 2:46pm
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Yes I did read all of your posts Jazzy before I made that comment. I was just saying, the comment about the issues just didn't seem that nice. Some people take that kind of comment as an attack on their personality. Yeah it sucks that there are issues with the BIL. I think the BIL should respect her more, not just be all about taking her DH to a strip bar. It seems like the BIL might like to stir and cause disharmony in their relationship. I just think the BIL would have been better off just not making those comments. And maybe she did slap her husband in the face and verbally abuse him once. Doesn't mean she does it all of the time. Sometimes you do things in the heat of the moment when you are emotionally charged. Some people just react differently in those situations. But it doesn't mean she is saying it's ok to do that, just because she did it once. And yes, I do agree that they should sit down and talk. Though they might have done that and it got them nowhere. Sometimes it is hard to just sit down and talk when you feel so strongly about something. I think in that situation it is better to have a third person, who doesn't side either way to help them discuss it together if they have no success discussing it calmly themselves. -------------
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 3:00pm
Does he not get to watch TV either? There are beautiful bodies everywhere, and I find it highly unlikely that your partner doesnt notice one when it walks past.
My DH has a bod that most woman oogle, it doesnt mean I dont look at other attractive men ... ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 3:04pm
Sorry but I don't agree with any form of violence physical or verbal in a relationship. I am glad it was not done back to her. I have found this topic rather interesting with all the different points of view & have learned few things, ha ha. Sorry to anyone who takes offense to my comments it was not my intention, just having my say like everyone, & trying not to take offense from people who single me out
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 3:07pm
Your DH is gorgeous, I always check him out when reading your blog, hee hee, & still hoping you still don't charge for it.
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 3:29pm
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LOL - Ive told him many a time he should go out and earn a living off that body! He cant dance though, so I doubt he would bring much $$ home unless the punters felt sorry for him. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 3:39pm
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Interesting thread. Personally I have no problem with DH going to these when the opportunity arises.. e.g. stag do's and stuff. Once a year his workmates have a social event where they hire a couple of strippers as well, which I'm fine with him going to. As you can tell, he works with mainly guys haha
I would never call someone a prude for not wanting their partner to do it though, as it really comes down to you and your relationship. And I wouldn't put down women who dance/strip for a living either. If you are not comfortable with it, it's probably 10x worse with the pregnancy hormones and I hope your DH will respect your feelings about it. Your BIL needs to butt out as well obviously. |
Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 3:43pm
Treen, I like the way you get your opinion across! Yes, OFTEN there will be a massage parlour in the same building with full service available - but that's where trust comes into it for me - if DP says he's going to watch the show, then that is what he's going to do. I'm well aware that a lot of women are insecure when it comes to a man going into such a testosterone-charged environment, and with some men - rightly so. Missangel, I hope that you and your DP have opened lines of communication now. He does need to take the way you feel into consideration, you're carrying his child. I also think you need to take his needs into account - I'm not saying you need to have sex, but as a couple it's important you maintain an intimate connection. He said some nasty things, in fact, by your own admission you both were nasty. Maybe by now you've both managed to cool off. |
Posted By: Buttersmum
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 4:20pm
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I think alot of this gets blown out of proportion because
1. we are very hormonal 2. we are feeling very unsexy at the moment I wonder if you weren't preggo would it be such a big deal.............not saying it wouldn't be but just is it worse made by the preggy factor?? I have my bad days when I know that since being preggers I have had no libido what so ever so I know that poor DH has been missing out and I guess on those days if he was to go to a strip club I would be a bit unhappy about it when to be honest...........I dont' really have a prob with him going as I know at the end of the day he isn't interested and like someone else said about their hubby......very shy and would probably run a mile lol
One thing in my favour...............since being preggers my rack has gotten HUGE!!!! I could out do alot of those fake boobies out there and my DH is loving them!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 my little blobby April 09 "gone but will never be forgotten xx"
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Posted By: sunnyhoney
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 5:53pm
he he join the club Buttersmum...only mine are too sensitive! ------------- Mum to: Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz |
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 6:51pm
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The more I think about this one, the more I reckon what any of us would do doesn't really matter. It's obvious there are lots of different points of view here, and I'd hazard a guess that people on both sides of the 'ok / not ok' line have happy marriages. Our marriages may be based on different beliefs / boundaries, but they're what works for the couple on question.
Really, this is more an issue of what you do when you and your DH/DP don't agree on boundaries that the other thought was a given. It does really matter what the issue is (I guess as long as both points of view are legal and all). It wouldn't have mattered if all of us had been determined that strip clubs are fine - if it bothers you, it's an issue that needs sorting out. I hope you're feeling better, it's not a fun situation to be in -------------
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 7:57pm
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mm nasty situation, especially when he is being egged on by a brother. I personnaly would be ok with mine going to a strip bar, I know for a fact that he would be hands off and wouldnt let someone buy him a lapdance, drunk or not...
However I would have serious issues with the 'we havent had sex...comment. Thats so disrespectful, and Im just going to say much more about that. Infact I had to double check that I read you post correctly, and then read it to my DH, who definately is no prude, and he was gobsmacked. His eyes just about popped out of his head and he said 'fail' Im so sorry you are in this situation, its horrible, but only you can make a decision about how you deal with your relationship hun, good luck x ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 9:39pm
Yes he gets to watch t.v. And I just hope he doesn't pay much attention to any observation of the fact that a chick has a hot body. Anyway, I did say I was insecure. I can't stop him from observing people who pass. But thankfully I don't notice him, noticing any hot chicks. Whether he notices them or not I do not know. But he's not obviously doing it, so I can't get annoyed if I don't notice it. Anyway, maybe other chicks being percieved as hot by him isn't the issue. It's more I feel threathened by people who have been blessed with good looks and a hot body. Even when I am slim and people notice me, I never see myself as worthy of it. Yes I have self esteem issues obviously. -------------
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Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 9:43pm
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Hey MissAngel, I hope things have settled down for you now, and all is well again. did he end up going to the nudie bar?
I don't think it matters so much what other people think is OK in their relationships, but if for you right now it is not OK, then he should respect that I think. and if him going / lying is upsetting you then thats not right (IMO). Slapping / verbal abuse / the no sex comment etc are all not acceptable behaviour - but we all (whether we admit it or not) do things we're not proud of in the heat of the moment, and I don't think your post was asking for comment on that behaviour or your relationship, so I won't say anything else there. As for me - I don't mind him going, but he only goes for stag dos etc and I wouldn't be happy with a lapdance, but he wouldn't get one as he doesn't think thats right when you're with someone (hes probably more anti than me). But if he wanted to go often / wanted lapdances, I wouldn't be very happy either. Especially when I was pregnant!!! And as for the dancers - one of DHs best mates met his wife at showgirls when she was dancing, and he knows others who have met girlfriends that way - so not all dancers aren't looking at the men, I'm sorry to say! Big hugs. try to remember that things seem alot worse when you're hormonal (I had some major outburts when pg!) ... take care ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Posted By: MindyW
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 1:24pm
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MissAngel I hope you and your DH have got everything sorted out and your both ok
I dont much like my DH looking at other women but that has more to do with my insecurities than not trusting him. DH has been to one strip club for his bachelors party but I think he was too drunk to see anything- clearly at least I would put my feelings across and let him make the decision, its really not up to me to choose for him. And pole dancing (I have only seen it on TV) looks incredibly hard and you'd need to be awfully strong to be able to do it!
I can say though that I'm pretty disappointed that someone would ask for advice and then get dumped on, I dont agree with violence but unfortunately we are human and prone to making mistakes- I hope that it was at least a once-off and MissAngel and her DH have a chance to work it out because I'm sure she will be feeling bad enough as it is!
------------- My Beautiful Little Emily http://lilypie.com"> 
We've Waited for You Forever! |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 1:25pm
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Escadachic, whether you are beautifulor not, he is your partner, he has chosen to bare children with you, and should love cherish and respect you.
Every woman has issues about a bit of their bod, hot or not, but if you self esteem issues he should be even more attentive to your needs , especially right now, I know its hard work anfter having a babe. I hope your ok hun ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: MindyW
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 1:31pm
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Also when I was at Uni there was a girl inmy class who was a stripper and she was the loviest girl. She managed to complete her degree without a student loan or debt and bringing up her beautiful little boy who was well looked after, happy and healthy little boy who was completely unaware of his mums job. ------------- My Beautiful Little Emily http://lilypie.com">
We've Waited for You Forever! |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 2:53pm
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ps I would have slapped him too, and kicked is ar*e as well!! ------------- http://lilypie.com]
http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 9:29pm
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wow, the thread got real big real quick didnt it.
Okay, so he didnt go, once my sister came back from catching up with a friend and discovered me in tears, husband in a right sh*t and BIL trying to convince him to go out, she pretty much laid down the law to them both. As much as my sister annoys the crap out of me sometimes, she's brilliant at defusing bad situations. She made her BF (my BIL) sleep in the back of the car (lol) for egging hubby on and made hubby appologise to me for not being understanding. I appologised for slapping him, but he said he totally deserved it. We had a really good talk about exactly why I didnt want him to go and he's promised to try and think a bit more before he jumps to anything rash. As far as the no sex goes - I have zero libido. In fact the thought of having sex makes me feel physically ill at the moment. Everything hurts, I dont want to be touched in that way and unfortunatly (i hate you hormones) thats going to be the way it is until these hormones settle down. Thanks to the kind words from those who said them, I appreciate it. ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 9:42pm
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Im glad you talked and your feeling a bit better , thats the most important thing
(and yeah , hormones suck , damn you hormones !!! ) -------------
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 11:22pm
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Ohhhh yay for your sister and yay that the two of you talked things through and apologised to each other.
Stupid hormones! ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: MindyW
Date Posted: 12 January 2010 at 12:06am
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thats great MissAngel! Stoked that its all sorted, maybe your sister could come to our house and defuse some of our disaggreements ------------- My Beautiful Little Emily http://lilypie.com">
We've Waited for You Forever! |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 12 January 2010 at 12:31am
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So glad that your hubby respected your wishes and didn't go, and that you had the chance to talk things over and that he's understanding
I had zero libido with my pregnancies as well, could count on one hand the number of times that poor DH got any, in that time! Oh well, making up for it now (TMI). After seeing everything I had to go through to have our babies, he said it was least he could do which I think was a fair statement!
Hang in there chicky, hope the hormonal changes go a bit easier on you! (Hormones do a lot of wonderful things, but also a lot of really crappy things) 
Hugs ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: X
Date Posted: 12 January 2010 at 8:25am
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Glad the situation got sorted out Missangel.
Don't feel bad-I have zero libido too. The LAST thing I feel like is sex. I try make the effort every few weeks though (just so DH doesn't feel too abandoned). It's hard though. Luckily DH has been very understanding. Hell, we're going through a lot & we shouldn't have to worry about DH's sexual needs. Big hugs to you. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 12 January 2010 at 10:11am
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So glad to hear its all sorted now.
My libido was fine by halfway thru the pregnancies, but by that point dh was put off, so he held out on me! To be honest I was so huge with Morgan that I may not have been much fun anyway! Then since Morgan's been out I've had no drive, so its the other way around .... I think its pretty normal to go through a dry spell or two at this stage in a relationship. ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Posted By: sunnyhoney
Date Posted: 12 January 2010 at 11:53am
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Yay that is awesome to hear Missangel. I'm very happy to hear you got things sorted out
------------- Mum to: Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 12 January 2010 at 9:47pm
Thats fantastic Hun, Im so glad this has a happy ending  ------------- http://lilypie.com]
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