DH is getting the chop!
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=30889
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Topic: DH is getting the chop!
Posted By: Lisha
Subject: DH is getting the chop!
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 6:56pm
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The decision has been made and it is all go for this week. It was going to be me, but DH has stepped up and is going to do it.
How many others DH's have had the same thing done? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Replies:
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 7:13pm
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Mine's too chicken ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Bel
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 8:08pm
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Mine has said he will do it! There has not even needed to be much discussion about it - it was always his call that we had enough kids (2 is it for us) then he would book in to get the snip (snip sounds "nicer" than chop!)
So we have the referral letter here, just waiting for holiday time to be over adn then will ring and make appt. ------------- Mum to two beautiful kids 
Luke (09.11.2007) Amy (01.04.2009) |
Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 8:32pm
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DH is getting his done. i have quite a full on career ahead of me so our 2 kids born while i still have years left at uni means i can focus on the kids a lot more. im getting the jadelle chip for a few years as DH will only be 25 and they are uneasy about doing it so young but it was him that decided he would get it done. he said he would never expect me to get my tubes tied as its quite major surgery when the snip is so easy. my friend is getting hers done when she has her c section though for health reasons so that is a good option too if your men wont get it done. lol. i didnt want to be on contraception forever and there are too many hormone related problems by tying tubes so i would have refused anyway. just as well it was his idea cos i probably would have made him do it already. what a meanie aye ------------- 
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Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 8:37pm
Nah - not a meanie! We have been through enough! It is the men that need to have a go  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 8:39pm
DH didnt seem to mind the idea before we had kids. now that we're pretty sure we're not having any more kids he seems to be putting it off!!  ------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs) |
Posted By: Cassie
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 8:42pm
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What age do they recommend guys are when they get the snip? DH is dead keen to get it done - I told him he couldn't take away my chance at another baby, then got knocked up while on the pill anyways! lol so I'm all fine for him to get it done now, but he's only 28. We'll have to go see a Dr about it sometime I guess. ------------- ~Cassie~   
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 9:03pm
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they are pretty hesitant before 30/35ish. im pretty sure you can pay and get it done privately though. they take heaps into account if you go through the public system, how many kids you have, how old they are (they have to be beyond cot death age), mental state, finances maybe. my sister told me but i cant remember. i do recall that if you get enough points on some kind of questionnaire then it gets done for free by family planning. -------------
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Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 9:48pm
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DH said he'd be happy getting his done while I'm in the delivery suite
As a bit of an aside - what's the procedure in terms of cost. We don't have health insurance anymore since I resigned (must sort that out!). I assume you can get yourself on a public waiting list for free? I've heard so many conflicting stories ($2k, for example). ------------- 
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 9:51pm
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Being really really morbid, my hesitation is if I die and DH remarries and wants to have kids. My sister had the same issue and it took 3 years for her to feel OK with him getting it done. A recent article in OB mag (I think) talked about the high # of patients going through fertility treatment because of vasectomy and a new relationship. I'd consider (getting DH to) store sperm in case. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 10:36pm
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My DH is doing it, in 5 years time though. He gets it free through work (army) so that's no problem. Until then I have an IUD and we will reassess to see if we want more kids (yeah, right!) and go for it then.
This decision was made before we were even married. He is OK with it but refuses to talk about it as he says he gets sympathy pains when he does 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 10 January 2010 at 11:42pm
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Flissty , that was my DH's argument over perhaps not getting it done , which resulted in a very interesting "discussion" over his next wife and what she would look like etc etc and ended with me offering to snip him myself . .....
( for the record, its not the having babies one day if I die with someone else part that bothered me , it was the fact he was already planning his next marriage while I was still alive, perhaps I should sleep with one eye open ....) ------------- 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 12:39am
I wish I could convince Willie to get the snip! He's too chicken (disguised as "too much of a man") to do it.  ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 7:31am
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no offense but i dont get why a man would be too chicken.. we have had their babies and gone through all this..its the least they can do:)
my DH is getting it as soon as Liam is born....for several reasons..even if we split neither of us want more kids.. and they seem hesitant to tie my tubes...(mutter mutter) as we want both tubes tied and the snip as i know several snips that have failed.. someone told me but i havent checked that its 300 or so and there are two kinds..the snip or the snip and quarterise and that a subsidy is available..but i havent looked into it yet.. so anyway in short my Dh is fairly soon after Liam is born:) it was his choice and it's always been the way he has spoken about it..after 2 he was done. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 8:20am
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KA, my DH has a fear of needles, blood etc so it's not so much where the surgery is, it's more having surgery. He would probably be more keen on the idea if he could have a general. He's never said no, when I was pregnant he said he would think about it. I decided to get an IUD so that we had no worries about an accident (well hopefully we won't be that 1%) so I haven't raised it since cos it's not necessary at the moment.
They would probably suggest he waited till he was a bit older anyway. -------------
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 8:25am
| I used to work in a private (snip) clinic, years ago, it was all very discreet, I even helped the dr prep on occasions, & then took care of payment when they left. I even read the procedural manuals, yip had time on my hands, lol, but don't remember much about it now. |
Posted By: Cassie
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 8:37am
Some good info coming out of this! Thanks ladies  DH doesn't want any more kids, flat out, he's done and dusted, though he warmed to this baby quickly once he found out it was already here lol I'm mostly just worried about getting knocked up again by accident cause goodness knows I was trying hard not to this time around! Three is plenty. He'll be 29 not long after baby comes so we'll get on the list and hopefully he can get it done before another accident comes along ------------- ~Cassie~
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 8:56am
Hubby this side is petrified of needles too as well as blood. If he gets a papercut and he sees his own blood he faints. He got over seeing me bleeding however as I had a few accidents that he just had to react in the situation and helped out with accidents with other people but right afterwards he faints. His own blood he says belong in his body and he cant see it. But my brave man told me straight out I am not getting my tubes tied even if I had another c-section and he is going for the snip. Just as long as I promise to be very sympathetic afterwards even though he knows it is not on the same level as me giving birth. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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cuppatea wrote:Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 9:36am
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DH is getting it done at a Mens Clinic. Procedure is costing under $400, which is pretty good. And we can claim this money back Takes about 3 hours then it is all over.
If something happened to me, and DH wanted to remarry, he doesn't want anymore kids. I can't wait till he in the all clear as *cuddles* at the mo are not happening. TMI!!! Sorry! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 10:17am
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yea, DH doesnt want more kids if anything happens to me. my worry is that something happens to both me and the kids ie horrific car accident. but if i get the jadelle chip it can last up to 5 years so by then he'll be 30. contraception has too many side effects for me so we dont have much of an option as there is absolutely no way we want more kids.
on the side of things failing. you have to do 2 sperm tests in the months after the procedure is done. sperm takes 90 days to form so as long as you use contraception untill your second test is confirmed negtive it is extremely low chance. so it may fail but at least you'll know about it and can get it fixed before any accidents happen. -------------
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Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 10:53am
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Bring on that day!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 1:41pm
fair point..I didnt think about fear of needles..if you hate needles it would certainly be a hard thing to do:(! I'm getting mad at people telling me to wait till I'm older..I'm 32 married with two kids but apparently three is the magic number lol! just annoys me they think they can decide when is a good age! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 1:43pm
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i know three people who did all the tests and got pregnant anyway:( thats why we need another method as well..
smoody- that is lovely of him to say! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 4:48pm
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DH had his done about 6mths ago, he was 29. it was $90 for the first consultation and just over $300 for the actual procedure. the dr didn't ask him anything about his private life....ie kids or married
the whole op took aabout 30-40mns and he was back to work a few days later. i would've liked a #3, but DH was dead against it so i went along with him. so far i've had 2 different mediums tell me there's another baby there for me, so we'll see DH never went back for his 2nd and 3rd test so he can't blame me if a miracle happens LOL  ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: X
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 7:40pm
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Don't you guys worry about what would happen if (God forbid) something happened to one of your children? I know it's an awful thing to say, but if I lost a child I would want another, to try help heal that gaping hole it would leave in my life. I know you can't replace them, but I'm sure it would help give you the will to keep going.
That's why I would never let DH have the snip-it's so final. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 8:31pm
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i dont think id want another but i guess you never know. what are the options for freezing sperm? anyone know. might be worth me looking into now i think about it. lol -------------
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 11 January 2010 at 9:09pm
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on that note. ive just found http://www.fertilityassociates.co.nz/Paying-for-treatment/Costs.aspx - this - sperm freezing -------------
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Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 12 January 2010 at 9:45am
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I am not sure what would happen if something happened to one of our children, But the decision has been made and I am all for it.
The thought of being pregnant again freaks me out and I never want to go there again. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 12 January 2010 at 10:52am
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Odette I feel that way. DH and I are still in "battle" as to how many we will have anyway but he did ask me if I wanted him to get the snip and I said no way, not ever. I cant stop him if he chooses to do it anyway though.
We dont know what the future holds for any of us and while it can be reversed that is not always effective just as the procedure itself is not always effective. I asked him if he wanted me to get my tubes tied and said no because he knows I want more children even if he doesnt. What we want now is not always what we want in years to come.... JMO of course
It is an awful lot cheaper than I expected though! -------------   
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 12 January 2010 at 12:13pm
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Odette we had a few miscarriages and also had trouble concieving. It was devastating to lose that little blobs and I cant even imagine how it will tear me apart if I have to lose my two kids. And if something happens I might regret Grant having the snip as I really cant imagine what I will feel.
However I also know I dont really want to go through another pregnancy. That waiting until 12 weeks, wondering if this will be our baby or is this going to land up in heartache. dealing with the depression afterwards. That is just not for me anymore. And I cant put our "surviving" child through that. Or what if you lose both? For us we did say if we want another one we will adopt. We looked at it before McKayla and both of us have no problems adopting. It will be a child coming from the heart not the tummy. But I do know having more kids right now is just not on and I physically cant carry another child willingly. Dont even know if I am making sense today. Anyway time for Andrew's nap. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 12 January 2010 at 5:14pm
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my friend was talking to the doctor about it after her second child but the doctor said wait till bubs was about 2yrs just in case as if something is gonna happen it will often happen in that time. that bubs passed away from SIDS and they have had another but if they had of gone ahead with the snip then they wouldnt have thier new baby and there would have always been that gap in thier family.
Im gonna send hubby in for the snip once I reach an age where I wouldnt want to have kids anyway. im still no 100% sure Im finished yet! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 12 January 2010 at 5:56pm
nope..i could never replace them and i dont think for me having another would help me heal:( although if i had just one child and was then childless i guess it might be different..? ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 12 January 2010 at 8:01pm
I think everyone would agree it wouldnt be to replace a lost child, you could never do that and I know my friend had a lot of trouble with people thinking this was what she was trying to do. Its more about creating the family you have always wanted/planned for |
Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 12 January 2010 at 9:12pm
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hehe ive now talked DH into freezing sperm. lol. he has really good sperm motility and all the jazz so apparently it will freeze really well. he is definitly getting the snip cos it is still pretty reliable. 1 in 1000 after 3 -ve sperm tests seems pretty good to me compared to birth control that i cant really take anyway. but that way if something happens we arent screwed if we change our minds. im really glad this topic came up. lol. the jadelle implant lasts 5 years anyway so our youngest will be near 5 when DH gets it done anyway -------------
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 12 January 2010 at 9:46pm
Though from what I understand (which isn't much) it's easier to get your tube-tie reversed than a vasectomy because the body produces anti-sperm antibodies after a vas? Sorry - slight TJ. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |