8 month old sleeping/not sleeping...sigh
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Topic: 8 month old sleeping/not sleeping...sigh
Posted By: Emmecat
Subject: 8 month old sleeping/not sleeping...sigh
Date Posted: 13 January 2010 at 7:41pm
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Clodagh is NOT sleeping. She is RUBBISH at sleeping. We are attachment parenting her and happy generally with how things are going...we did have her in a routine for about a month lol but then she popped her first tooth and that was all over rover. Lately, she won't go near her cot. It's the same cot she's always had, no differences at all with bedding etc. She just wants to sleep with me (which I have no problem with except I don't sleep as well). She will go to sleep in the buggy too with not too many problems. I guess I just want to know how many other bubs about this age are not great at settling? She still feeds at least once per night and normally 2-3 times, esp if we are co-sleeping. Sigh. -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: jano1
Date Posted: 13 January 2010 at 7:54pm
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My girl is a bit older than yours but we are having the same problems- as soon as she sees her cribs she starts crying. Apparently this is the clingy stage, once they start to realise they are independent of you. Sounds like Clodagh has hit it a little early
"And this too shall pass" is my new mantra (or trying to be) ------------- http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers"> |
Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 13 January 2010 at 8:39pm
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I got so run down with Hollie's sleeping, that over a period of a week I had to let her learn to self settle, that was at about 7 months.
Over the week we went from up 4/5times a night to sleeping 12 hours a night. She grizzles for about 10mins each night. She has always had the same routine and a safe t wrap, but that week we brought in a sleepsack too. I agree with attachment parenting for the most part, but when it came to my lack of sleep I just couldn't cope anymore. It was heartbreaking, but I'm grateful we did it earlier rather than later. -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: palomino
Date Posted: 13 January 2010 at 9:02pm
| Pretty much the same as Flake, we used to co sleep just to try and get some sleep but of course i never slept as well. When in his cot he would be waking about 6-7 times a night. We had to teach him to self settle at around 7months. Took 2 nights of leaving him for increasing times when putting him down and the first night when he woke up breastfeeds were limited to 5mins then back to bed. Now he sleeps a full 12hours (most of the time lol) |
Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 14 January 2010 at 9:36am
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Thanks for your replies so far. We've left her to CIO (against my better judgement) but this baby has a mind of her own adn can literally scream for hours. And I mean SCREAM not grizzle or cry Last night after I fed her and DF took her for a walk in the buggy (cos she wasn't going to go down in her cot), she fell asleep in her buggy for about 20 minutes but then woke up. I spent over 2 hours- not joking- putting her in her cot and just sittng next to it, shushing, reading to her quietly etc. She spent the first hour and a half (not exagerating) crawling around the cot looking for an escape route. Intermitent crying adn getting worked up I didn't pick her up unless she was hysterical, which was about twice I think. She finally tired herself out and lay there grizzling that I wouldn't pick her up I'm utterly stumped. During the day she is a lovely, gregarious beautiful child who goes to anyone and is generally very very happy, albeit already very independant. Why does she suddenly hate her cot? She's never been great at settling but in a VERY short space of time she's gone from being hard to settle to being impossible to settle as sometimes she's a night mare in our own bed! It's made me totally wnt to put off TTC another one tbh (let alone the logistics of actually physically TTC with a baby in the bed lol). HELP ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 14 January 2010 at 9:42am
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oh I should add...we did go away to Akld where she used her portacot for a week. She was hard but not impossible to settle there too (although I had Mums help lol). She almost always has a sleep sack- which she hates as it restricts her movement lol- but we tried the safe t sleep with no success. She HATES anything being on her feet, or tying her down or that doesn't let her move. Hmmmm. I don't doubt for a second that alot of this is her trying it on and having paddys..but the problem is, that those grizzly paddys very very quickly esculate into total hysteria on her part and that makes it even harder to settle her. Any advice appreciated (but I'm not going to let her cry it out cos I think it's ineffective and absolutely doesn't work on her. Tried it.) ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 14 January 2010 at 9:45am
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have you thought about trying a baby ok. its a sleeping bag attached to a sheet so the baby can roll over but not stand up or move overly much. sounds like all her activity in there is helping keep her awake. i got one from the sleep store when toby was 14 mths old and it was great! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 14 January 2010 at 10:14am
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Might I suggest that instead of sleeping her in a seperate room you could try to set up a side-car arrangement?
For me co-sleeping is a space thing, which is why I suggested the above - DD2 ends up as far over the other side of the bed that I can safely put her except for when she feeds. You could settle her in your bed, then just move her over to the cot (with one side off) when you go to bed. I would also suggest having a read of 'Sleeping like a baby' by Pinky McKay, who has some great strategies for sleep time that are more gentle than CIO etc. ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 14 January 2010 at 4:13pm
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HippyMama- we were doing exactly what you mentioned and it was *kinda* working...but she was such a sensitive wee blossom (she said through gritted teeth) that DF and I could barely breathe loudly and definately not cough or anything before she'd wake up. She slept in our room right up in some kind of arrangement (bassinette/cot/sidecot/co-sleep) till she was 6 months old and then we moved her cos she really was waking up sooo easily. then we did a No Cry Sleep Solution routine thing which worked for a month and hen those $&*^% teeth came through and um yeah.... I think the other thing I'm gonna try is feeding her more during the day (solids and BF) and giiving only water at night as I'm convinced some of this constant waking up is for comfort not actually hunger (she's a real chubba bubba so no worries about the lack of weight gain!). She definately does NOT need BF every 2 hours at this stage. My Mama intuition tells me that at least lol. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: jaycee
Date Posted: 14 January 2010 at 4:35pm
have you been to The Sleep Store website? They have a lot of information for sleep issues at all ages and many people have sound solutions there. I think (from memory so may be wrong  ) that their first child was a bad sleeper so they have first hand experience. Also I think you can contact them for personal advice.  . I hope you find something that works for all three of you soon.
http://www.thesleepstore.co.nz/ - The Sleep Store -------------   
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Posted By: jano1
Date Posted: 14 January 2010 at 6:01pm
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Hi me again,
We are doing a sleep training thing called gradual withdrawl, basically making her feel comfortable enough to fall asleep in bed, knowing we are there and gradually trying to move further away from the cot until we are at the door  . At the moment we are still next to the cot We are also trying a longer wind down period before bed, and reading books while she is lying down which seems to be helping. From what I have read the key thing is consistency, once you have decided your plan of action, you must stick to it- whther that is leaving them to settle and going in to reassure them or doing what we are doing.
I feel your pain, it really sucks having an upset bubba who refuses to sleep in their own bed. ------------- http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers"> |
Posted By: Acetyr
Date Posted: 22 May 2010 at 10:53am
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Emmecat, I am very interested to hear how you are going with Clodagh. My almost 10 month old is waking every two hours and the only way I can settle him is to feed him. I agree with you that he does not need BF every 2 hours. Did you try feeding more during the day and only give water at night? My DS is not a big eater but I've been thinking of giving him water at night. -------------  |
Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 16 June 2010 at 11:48am
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Acety- we are not going well still As I sit here and wirte this, Clodgah has been screaming in her cot for half an hour. I've been in to try and settle her but she's not having a bar of it. She's actually worse than ever before! Not only is she trying to drop one of her 2 day sleeps, she appears to be trying to drop sleep altogether during the day and the ONLY way she'll seleep now is in the buggy! I"ve had just about enough of her. she is REALLY beginning to get on my tits BIG time ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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She is also absolutely impossible to take off the breast now...she'll fall asleep or get very sleepy BF then when I try to remove her she screams bloody murder and wakes up fully and then totally utterly refuses to go down at all. I"m at my wits end. She is over one now and surely should be able to have at least one day sleep without this performance???? I'm not missing her tired signals, she's just having massive paddies cos she doesn't want to go to bed. NOw I am leaving her to CIO and I feel like utter sh*t cos I really think its a bad way to parent her. But what else can I do????? Suggestions most welcome!Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 16 June 2010 at 11:49am
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Urgh you can see by my spelling how tired I am!!! She cried and threw her biggest paddy yet from 4am- 5.30 this morning ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: JD
Date Posted: 16 June 2010 at 12:22pm
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I so feel for you Emmecat. I have two boys who are both suckful sleepers.
I think you are one the right track letting her CIO...its sounds like you have tried most other avenues! I know some people will disagree with this, but I do think that little ones can definately play up for Mum! Do you think there are any health issues??? I am just begining to wonder if maybe my baby (5 months) has a bit of silent reflux. He has a few of the signs, but not all. My Plunket nurse is coming tomorrow so I might see what she thinks. Or maybe, I have heard of people taking their babies to a cranial (sp?) person to align their necks properly after having it altered during labour? Could that be a possibility? Its really hard and when you have a child that doesn't sleep, it seems that everyone around you has these perfect sleeping babies! argh!!!! I just keep telling myself that things will eventually get better (they have to move out of home sometime right :o)) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 16 June 2010 at 12:35pm
Wait until they are a teen, then you'll be struggling to wake them up! 
Kidding, Lily has had a couple of days where I have had to leave her to cry it out so she'll get some sleep (well more like scream it out) I have felt awful at the time but she got so worked up it was the only way and she slept for 2 hours because she was that tired! I find sometimes I just need to be really relaxed and calm so she can be relaxed and calm too, as in if I start to get stressed she can sense that and finds it hard to relax/be calm and nod off. I also find Lily will only sleep with a full tummy, which then means I can put her down awake and she'll happily nod off, if she doesn't she's usually still hungry or has some wind... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kaybee
Date Posted: 16 June 2010 at 12:40pm
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Hey Emmecat that sounds really hard! I feel for you. Have you considered maybe getting someone like the Baby Whisperer Sharlene Poole in to see if she can help? There are probably others out there too she's just the only one I know about.
I hope you get the chance to enjoy a few decent nights sleep before the next one comes along, good luck with whatever you try, and it's fair enough to be over it, it doesn't make you a bad Mum i think you have done great to put up with it for this long and only just now resorting to CIO methods! (I don't like CIO either but sometimes I have to just leave him until I have the energy and patience to go in and settle him). ------------- 
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Posted By: millymollymandy
Date Posted: 16 June 2010 at 2:13pm
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Hi Emmecat,
I know what this is like and have so been there. Hours to settle, awake every hour over night. I like the following for helping settle: -doing the same thing before every sleep, so being put to bed is no surprise -consistent responses to every waking, when she wakes in the night -stories before bed -a cuddly that I have slept with -blacked out windows -white noise, on repeat for all sleeps. I'd agree with someone's suggestion of a sleep consultant, there are attachement parenting ones out there, that might be able to help and give you some suggestions for settling her with how you wish to parent. I have to admit though, my parenting stance is a little more hard core than your approach. I tired every gentle method, but in the end we did CC, with us coming in to give reassurance every few minutes or so. I was literally going crazy with no sleep and felt that I was getting so angry with being woken that it was affecting attachement and all my relationships. The only night that was hard was the first hour of the first one and the hourly waking and hours to settle stopped. We are all heaps happier with some decent sleep. Good luck with finding something that works for your family, sending you sleep vibes... |
Posted By: ScottishPixie
Date Posted: 16 June 2010 at 5:03pm
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Hey!
I've been watching this thread for ideas myself! There's an Auckland based sleep consultant called Tracie Martin who does phone and skype consults - she subscribes to attachment theory (not attachment parenting as such, ie breastfeeding, slings etc) and has some great ideas by consult and video for helping your baby get to sleep gently (haven't quite managed to put her strategies in place myself cos DH is meant to help and doesn't
Anyway, she has a website called dream parenting all one word for you to check out her philosophy etc. We've had 7 months of bad sleep, came to a head last night so I tried to put Tracie's ideas to practice all by myself and it only took 1.5 hours in the middle of the night so I'm going to try again tonight. Have tried CC in the past but just found it too hard to implement and all these things need consistency . . . Best of luck trying to find something that works for you, it's soul destroying not getting the sleep - I know I'm pretty shot to pieces and it's "only" been 7 months!
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 16 June 2010 at 6:17pm
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JD- she hasn't any health issues although she has recently had an ear infection and now has a BAD case of nappy rash that the Dr and I are trying to sort out MMM- you are doing exactly what we do, and it just doesn't seem to help I did wonder if I should *insist* on Clodagh goind down in her cot in the nursery with a few books and a bottle (not a BF as I'm also hoping to cut back on those!)and sitting in there with her and even if she doesn't sleep, just tell her that its quiet time? Or shall I just take the hard core approach adn let her scream for an hour like I did this morning? that just revs her up more, she almost never falls asleep that way. She has waaaaaay more stamina than me I'm afraid! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 16 June 2010 at 6:19pm
Kaybee, Nkap and Scottishpixie...thanks also for your kind words and advice. At least I don't feel quite so useless and alone at times like this!  ((hugs))------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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