Girly chat..what age?
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Topic: Girly chat..what age?
Posted By: Genie
Subject: Girly chat..what age?
Date Posted: 21 January 2010 at 10:00pm
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What age would be best to tell DD all about AF? She's been asking what "those pretty things on the line" are (mama pads lol) but she's only 8 and I'm not sure I'm ready to explain it all yet. I seem to remember being gutted to hear about it all! ------------- 
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Replies:
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 21 January 2010 at 10:09pm
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Didn't want to read and run. Wouldn't have a clue, sorry! Maybe in another year or two?? I remember we started having sex ed at school at around std 3 or 4 so 9/10yrs. Maybe before then so it's not completely new to her when they start discussing it as school ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 21 January 2010 at 10:29pm
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I dunno, while I wouldn't hae a sit down talk about it now, I would however explain in simple terms what they are about and keep it within the relms of a normal conversation, taht way when you do "sit down for a girly chat" its not such a surprise.
Even something along the lines of Grown up ladies need to use these in their knickers sometimes ( I tell my almost 3 year old this when she asks, lol) you could then say something else, but I wouldn't not say anything if you get my drift? ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: mrsturtle
Date Posted: 21 January 2010 at 10:36pm
| I cant remeber what age we were told. Possibly check with the school what age they start to talk about it and try for a wee bit before that so she has a wee bit of knowledge before they discuss it at school. Good luck. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 21 January 2010 at 10:38pm
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if my kids asked i would say they are mama pads. that may satisfy at the time. i too think you should say something appropriate for her age. i am worried that by the time eden is old enough i would have stopped havng periods and will find it harder to introduce the subject. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 21 January 2010 at 10:54pm
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Personally (being 19) my mum completely forgot to mention it and I honestly never noticed any pads!
I found out in 1st form so about 11years, so I guess tell her around 9-10ish. Also if you got yours early chances are she might too. Nothing was ever mentioned at primary, wasn't until intermediate health class that I learned about it, helped having a couple of friends who also hadn't been told! Majority of the girls had been told though. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Genie
Date Posted: 21 January 2010 at 11:14pm
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Some good ideas, thanks :)
The whole idea of having to tell her about it makes me nervous. Will check with the school, I know my son has had some puberty/sex ed at school starting last year (year 7), at the time I was surprised that nothing came home to say exactly what had been covered. I was one of the later ones to get first AF, think I was almost 15, so I guess I've probably got a few years up my sleeve, was just that she was asking what the pads were I didn't know how to handle that. -------------
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 21 January 2010 at 11:37pm
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I think it depends on the kid , and I also think these days , thanks to school , there is a lot of stuff we don't have to tell them .
A convo I had with C (7 and a half) "have you got your period mum?is that why you need tampons ?" "yes love " " oh cool , that means you can make babies ! " WTF ??  ------------- 
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Posted By: NewPhoenix
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 12:43am
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. ------------- |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 2:19am
Oh shush !!! 
She did tell me that I should have a baby before shes ten , because she doesn't think she'll be interested in baby siblings by then . Not sure what that has to do with the tea in china -------------
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Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 7:59am
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Mum didn't tell me until the day I got it (11) lol although I knew the basics from friends. I hear that these days puberty is hitting girls earlier though. I think 8 is old enough to understand. Personally I'll probably wait until 10 as most of my girlfriends got it around 11. If my girls haven't brought the subject up themselves by 10 I'll sit them down -------------  
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 8:42am
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I also got mine at 11 so maybe talk to her properly in a couple of years?
Kelly, C is such a crack up! |
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 8:46am
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I did the first talk with my DD1 at 8-9.... I told her the basics and she had LOTS of questions so just went with it...She was definitely old enough to understand it all and I'm glad we started then as I'd rather she heard it from me, than other kids at school IYGWIM... also starting young has meant she is comfortable to just come and ask me anything...
Also I was 16 when I got af, she was 10 so that if your old she will be thing isn't necessarily true... e.g if girl's don't live with their biological father they are often younger to go through puberty.. ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: BerryBliss
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 8:56am
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My DD10 knows about it (has since quite young) she asked at about 4 what Tampons/pads were for etc and i told her mind you very simply then but every year she has learnt a bit more in detail, we are very open here and answer truthfully and don't really sugar coat things. That said we of course keep it age apporiate. I think these days children know why more than we did at a young age, everything just seems very out there and school/peers ect keep kids well informed. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 1999 DS 2003 DS 2006 DD 2009 |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 9:01am
Well I would probably just explain the basics to her... I got my period when I was 9  but I think getting it early runs in my family.------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: heaf3
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 9:25am
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I didnt get my period until i was 15 i think? was the last out of my friends anyways. One of them got hers in primary school and she went around telling us she had her period. i was like whats a period?? because i had never been told anything like that and we hadnt heard about it in health either. (although i think they started telling us a few months later...) and everyone laughed at me for not knowing! i was so embarrassed.
i would much rather have heard it from my mum instead of in health class thats for sure. and considering a lot of girls are now getting theirs when they are 8-9 im sure its not too early to at least tell her the basics  good luck!------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 9:49am
i agree, my two have been asking how babys come out of mummies tummies, so I told them. I also dont make up silly words (although that said they call their private parts diddle and 'gina - I think the va is hard for miss almost 3) Not sure how I will manage the whole how did babies get there talk, however I do believe that honestly and simply is the best way. Better to hear it from you than in the playground at school, and missinformed. I wasn't told till we had a mother daughter night at school in about standard 4 or form one and by that time I had head all sorts of weird and stupid and far out stories in the playground, lol. I wish my mother had bene more open about those thigns, in fact I only found out she had (probably cos she never went to the Dr, just moaned and complained) PCOS LAST WEEK!!!!! lol and if I had known that, say 10 years or more ago, I wouldn't be inthe postiion I am in today! We never ever talked about any of those things .ever. Just my opinion, though! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
mumto4 wrote:Posted By: Genie
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 10:10am
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I tend to agree about getting in before they hear it from somewhere else too. I think if I had heard it from health talks at school etc I might've felt a bit betrayed in a way by mum. -------------
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 10:28am
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OK basically the push is to have sex ed earlier, as the average age for going through puberty is younger and younger.
While we all started having the talks at school at Year 7/8, there is a big push to try and get them done at Year 5, as it's often too late for most kids otherwise. I would just tell her the basics and go from there. If she asks questions, cool. If not, don't push it. Just create an environment open to asking questions. |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 10:29am
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McKayla knew by the age of 3 that mommy has periods. And the other day she asked me why dont I have it again. So explained it came back once and not again since Andrew's birth (and nope not pregnant again).
I will explain in more detail when she asks more. I dont believe in making things up but only answer until they stop asking questions. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 1:49pm
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yeah, I would just be matter of fact about it. "those are mummy's pads" if she asks what they are for "I use them when I have my period" and just follow her lead. I wouldnt worry about sitting her down and having "a talk"...just answer her questions as you are hanging out the rest of the washing.
Tom was asking about breastpads earlier this year. Dh shudders to think our 2 year old knows about breastpads  ....mind you...he found my pads and tampons and asked what they were and I just told him they were "Mummy's".
Have you heard of Judy Blume as an author? She wrote a whole series of books dealing with young grils going through puberty, periods, boys, sex etc (dont give her "Forever" for a long time...thats the sex one). I really enjoyed them and as such was pretty clued up on it all by the time I started intermediate school...so I would have been 9 - 10 when I read them. There also used to be a starter pack thingy from Johnson and Johnson that had loads of samples and info (kinda like a period bounty pack )...I dont know if that still exists...we are going back nearly 25-30yrs.
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 1:56pm
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haha , " Forever" ..."come meet Ralph...Ralphy wants to be your friend, Ralphy wants to explore you " -------------
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Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 2:14pm
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I would think to tell her about it.
I was told in standard 4 when i was 9. Because a few girls had there periods. Yes girls are getting them young. Just say something about how you get it when you become a ladies etc etc. I got mine when i was 10 but i know of alot of girls getting them young! -------------  
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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 3:30pm
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Yeah I got the pack of samples and info at health class in year 7, except when I got it it was a Libra pack (this was about 8-9 yrs ago) and they still do them as a friends little sister got one last year. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: palomino
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 4:31pm
| gosh i still remember being traumatised when a girl at primary got hers and told us all she was bleeding. I had visions of an gushing spurting cut type bleeding and it would spray everywhere. I wish my mum had put me straight! I didnt get told until mine started (15ish i think) and already knew the facts by then! |
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 4:39pm
I remember the same thing! I had nightmares about it after the girl next door told me about it when I was about 8 or 9... LOL it took me ages to ask mum if it was true instead I just freaked out... ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: _H_
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 4:59pm
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i wish my mum had told me sooner! my best friend got her AF at 8 or 9 (cant remember) and i had no idea what it was so i heard from her what her mum told her!
maybe talk to her now but keep it simple dont go into lots of detail. its better she hears it from you and not one of her freinds or at school coz trust me it will freak her out!
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 6:38pm
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this bringing back a lot of images from the sex ed video , it was a cartoon one , and there was a boy on the diving board and then...PING ! up went his little winky ! haha -------------
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 7:08pm
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LOL, I remember cornering my mother (at 12) and saying "when are you going to tell me about periods?" then got scared and ran off (but rang my BF and told her how brave i was). I also remember my sister outside my bedroom door trying to describe how to insert a tampon
I'd go with keep it natural, address it as it arises and hopefully you won't have to gird your loins to do the "big talk". AT least, that's my theory. I told Dan about the birds and the bees when he was a newborn so I consider that's all sorted and we won't need to address that again ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 7:30pm
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When my cousin was 3 , she told me allllll about the man and woman making a baby ,and she mentioned the ladies Vulva , and I thought "golly , isn't that a type of car ?' -------------
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Posted By: DJ
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 8:08pm
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I think i must have been 8 when I asked Mum about periods and I don't think it was too young to find out. I was in std 2 and in the same class as some std 4s (country school) and they were talking about periods and I didn't know what they were talking about.
Mum did a good job of the talk - she drew a uterus and explained how the blood built up over the month and had to come out if an egg wasn't fertilised. Judy Blume is a great idea -"Are you there God, it's me Margare"t is the name of the period book Good luck! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: palomino
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 9:00pm
| i must i must i must increase my bust |
Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 9:06pm
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the BEST thing my lovely mummy did for me was tell me what periods were when I was 8 and asked. I got mine when i was 9 (am 30 now) so i didnt freak out and think i was dying or try and hide it from her! ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 10:51pm
ha ha....I remember it now. But I also remember they wore sanitary belts. I guess that book has been doing the rounds for generations. |
Posted By: crakars
Date Posted: 22 January 2010 at 11:04pm
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I would talk to her now - as a lot af girls are getting their AF at age 9 these days - way too young - but its good for everyone to know so then if one of her friends gets it she wont be horrified. Just keep to the basics - short and sweet and be prepared to keep asking more questions as the topic will come up with her friends before long.
Schools are suppose to send home letter when they do puberty etc - they should also have a policy - go check it out -------------  http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: wellygirl
Date Posted: 23 January 2010 at 8:43am
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I think Judy Blume was my main source of information as a kid. But I also remember my mum giving us a book called 'What's happening to me?' with cartoons etc, and it was pretty straightforward without being too blunt! I just remember the part where they explain vagina rhymes with Carolina
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 23 January 2010 at 2:44pm
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lol I had the book "everything a teenage girl should know"
And I rmember santiary belts, you could still ge them when we learnt about it all, but I knew no one who used them... ick ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 23 January 2010 at 4:59pm
LOL, that was the best vid!
And the cats smooching on the bedspread when the adults were having "special cuddles". ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 23 January 2010 at 8:52pm
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LOL, I remember Judy Blume - standard 4 I think I was at the time .
Maya knows that mummy gets her period (or not, as the case may be ), but she hasn't put that together with the whole idea of reproduction thankfully. I try to answer her questions honestly, but without giving more detail than I need to satisfy her curiosity. She knows that babies come out your girly bits, and she knows the proper names for body parts etc. but we've not had the S E X questions yet.
DSD got her period at 8 and it was just cruel, she was far too young to know how to take care of her personal hygiene when she had it and she got particularly heavy ones so had lots of "accidents" at school, it was awful. I felt so bad for her. I was 13ish, so hopefully my girls are slow like their mummy - Lord knows I am NOT looking forward to four teenage girls with PMS .-------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 23 January 2010 at 11:34pm
Emma...... ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 24 January 2010 at 12:00am
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My Mum didnt really tell me and my sister about it until we had to know (when our periods arrived). But she did sit us down with various videos and I remember reading 'Everything a teenage girl should know'. I wish she did tell us before I got my period so it wasnt so freaky when I did get it.
I didnt get my period until I was almost 14 and I was the last girl in my group of friends to get it. Its super scary to think that 8/9 year olds are getting them nowadays. I agree with others, I'd tell her casually as she asked the questions on her lead rather than sitting down for 'the talk'. Edited spelling ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 24 January 2010 at 6:22pm
Ha ha, not this time! I'm just finding that extended breastfeeding has it's advantages - one AF in 18 months isn't bad ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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