how much help with a newborn?
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Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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Topic: how much help with a newborn?
Posted By: Andie
Subject: how much help with a newborn?
Date Posted: 12 July 2006 at 10:52am
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Good morning! Hubby and I were just discussing his time off work (or lack of) when this baby arrives. She's our first bubs, and while I've always been really confident looking after children, I'm now starting to realise how little I know about parenting a newborn. As hubby is self-employed (read that as: if he don't work, we don't pay our bills!) there's no provision for leave of any kind, making him veeery reluctant to take a week off work for after the birth. I was wondering how much help people have found that they needed in that first week or two. What I'm nervous about is - dealing with visitors when I'm exhausted (yes, I've already made a little sign for the door asking people nicely to come back another time, to use when I get naps - I figure I'll be grabbing my sleep whenever I get the chance and won't want to give it up for anyone but baby!); not having the energy to do what I normally would around the house (which is everything - but hubby rekons he can take care of cooking and housework after work); and being super-emotional but maybe finding myself alone, depending on who is or isn't visiting, and there's something very calming about my DH's company for those emotional times, and it's fair to say I don't find the same from my close family. So please fill me in on what sort of help you needed with a newborn baby in the home - practical support, emotional support, any kind really! I'll stress less about this if I feel a bit more prepared. Thanks! ------------- Andie |
Replies:
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 12 July 2006 at 11:04am
| Great question Andie! I wanna know too! |
Posted By: emeldee
Date Posted: 12 July 2006 at 11:22am
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Hi Andie,
There are a number of things you can do to prepare yourselves for the first couple of weeks. 1)First off is to tell the essential people (like grandparents) that will visit to come bearing cooked meals and be prepared to help out with the washing when they visit. If you can be relaxed around them and set rules about them not waking the baby and fitting into your routine - excellent. They can be useful with tidying up while your breastfeeding or napping and this could be one of the few times when they will voluntarily help out around the house. 2) Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus on baby and yourself for the first couple of weeks. Get to know each other. A wonderful Plunket nurse once told me that you shouldn't clean windows regularly because you won't be able to tell they are windows and you'll walk into them. Take this 'safety oriented' approach with the housework while you are recovering and getting to know you new little person. Housework can wait. 3) Kiddie bathtime in our house is when Daddy's home from work. Because Nick is away at work for most of the day, I've kept bathtime as a special Dad time when he gets home from work. It fits in well with naps and sleep and means that there is a special kid-related job for Dad to do and it helps me out because there are two grown-ups in the house then in case the soap gets dropped or an extra hand is needed. Find a routine that lets you share the kiddie moments together when possible. Also, babies won't melt or develop rashes if they don't get a bath every single day. Really. 4) Nap like a cat. Any opportunity you get, nap when the baby is napping. I used to time the baby naps so that I could have a shower during one, naps during the next two, talk on the phone or use the computer for another etc. Even if you aren't sleepy, try and have a sit down and quiet time. It helps to keep the emotions in check of you can rest lots. 5) Get into a walking routine - even if it's just out to the letterbox. Fresh air does the world of good. 6) Vent online - remember the forum is here whenever you need support, happy thoughts or someone to complain with. Oh - and if you have freezer and pantry space, start filing away snacks and leftovers for post-baby snacks when you don't feel like cooking. Good luck! (and you'll be fine!!!) Oh - and in answer to your question - didn't really need any extra support around the house after Andrew was born though the meals that the in-laws brought around were greatly appreciated. ------------- |
Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 12 July 2006 at 1:46pm
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well said I think you covered everything.
When vistor's do come make sure they are happy to get themselves a drink and you while they are at it. As far as the emotional side of thing's go I would go with how you are feeling to a point sometime's so if you need a good cry then have one etc, and the biggy keep talking about how you are feeling to DH even if it seem's silly to say out loud best thing to do is keep talking. Oh and try not to become too housebound as that can drive you nut's. 
Other then that from what I know of you, you and DH are going to be fantastic parent's so don't STRESS too much!  ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 July 2006 at 1:49pm
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Well, Marie has said it all.
I lived at home during that time so didn't have the same issues you will face, but with everyone working full time, to some extent it was the same arrangement as you would have with a hubby! (Except my Mum knew a bit more about newborns than a man would  )
The only time I can think of really needing someone was in the first week, when I was still emotional and hormonal and holding a screaming baby while being upset myself was just making it worse. At that stage, being able to hand Hannah to someone else for a little while was a godsend. Every now and again I would let Mum deal with Hannah while I had a nap, under strict instructions to bring her to me when she was hungry (knowing Maman would recognise the signs). That meant I could sleep knowing that I was not needed and reassured that when I was, I would be called. So yeah, it does help having someone close by, but has to be someone you trust. Is your mum nearby or MIL (who you don't hate?)? Not imperative, but helpful. |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 12 July 2006 at 1:59pm
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I was living with my mum both times. Also helpful to remember that if you feel really really stressed, put baby in the cot and walk away. crying, even scr4eaming will not cause emotional damage. A couple of times I got so upset I had to put Jake in his cot and I had a shower so I couldn't hear him cry., Made me feel much more human.
I didn't have that much help as mum worked during the day, oh hang on, then Lewis was home..so scratch that. Had heaps of help, but with Taine not so much AND I had a toddler. Babies aren't as ragile as one would think. For example, if small toddler were to sit on 3day old baby, baby would cry but be okay. |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 July 2006 at 2:06pm
Aw poor Taine   lmao
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Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 12 July 2006 at 4:52pm
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I am in the same situation Andie - DH is a contractor and we cant afford for him to take time off really, so I guess it will be a max of two days or hin to spend with us and then back to work for him...
I am a little worried too, I think thats normal, hey we wil both cope, we just have to take it one step at a time! ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 12 July 2006 at 5:34pm
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i am living with my family which tured out to be a godsend as james had a undected heria which he screamed for 8 long horrable weeks and if i had,nt had my mum who nos what would of happen my advice wounld be dont be aferd to ask for help even if u have to ring a friend your hubby the health line when it all gets to much good luck with your new bubs ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 12 July 2006 at 8:05pm
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We had my mum with us for the first week. She did the housework and cooking pretty much and it was FANTASTIC! Peter and I could get to know Joey without any stress and get used to being 3!! lol ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 12 July 2006 at 8:12pm
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With Paris mike had 1 week off - onc ei got home that is - and i had my sis come to stay when paris was 2 weeks old. for me that was good help - cos by then i now realise i was in deep with PND.. i remember sitting up feeding paris one night in the early hours in our lounge and looking up thinking that the figures in our large black and white pic of me and mike were moving.. so either was having hallucinations or was VERY sleep deprived.
other than that mum came over to help but got to the point where i resented her and felt like she thought maybe i couldn't handle it myself. I was weird... i admit. so the answer is, as much help as you think you need. Maree covered lots. Set boundaries and make sure that you tell people if you aren't comfortable with some people helping out with certain things (ie those are the things that you really want to do YOURSELF) with ayja mike took time off - again once i came home from hospital - no use using up days when i am stuck in the hospital. by the time he went back to work i was seriously just wanting some time with me and bubs. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: Kim
Date Posted: 12 July 2006 at 8:38pm
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As Zac came two weeks early I didn't really have any help until he was four weeks old when Mum arrived. My husband had to go away for a few days for work when he was three days old as well - I couldn't believe it!!! and he works really long hours. Luckily for me Zac has been a really easy baby to care for and I didn't have many visitors interrupting us as we had just moved to Saudi.
I slept when Zac slept and am lucky enough to have a cleaner to come once a week. The main thing I had problems with was cooking meals - I read while pregnant that you should make lots of meals for the freezer but thought surely you will have time to cook...no you don't! (Well I didn't) And the first few weeks of breastfeeding I was starving all the time but would of rather sleep than eat and just couldn't be bothered cooking. When Mum arrived it was great as she did all the cooking and when Zac woke first thing in the morning she would take him into bed with her until he was ready for a feed. It was a great special time for them as well and I got an extra hour sleep! Bath time in our house is also Dad's job. ------------- Zac Mark - 30.11.05 Samara Ailsa - 13.08.07 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 13 July 2006 at 8:27pm
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What Maree said!
My mum came to stay for a week, that was great because she let me get on with learning how to look after Maya without interfering, but she took care of the washing, cooking etc. I was terrified when she left at how I woudl cope, but in reality it wasn't so scary. Willie didn't take any time off, he wouldn't even take time off for the birth lol. But have convinced him to take his 3 weeks annual leave when the twins are born. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 14 July 2006 at 9:49am
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my hubby took a week off and by the end of that time i couldnt wait for him to go back to work... with visitors you have to let them know before hand that you will only be available on such and such days between these times... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 14 July 2006 at 10:03am
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lol will be slightly different this time Emma - good on you, he SHOULD take time off. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 14 July 2006 at 1:42pm
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Yeah, man - I agree! People should get extra meternity/paternity leave for multiple births too! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 14 July 2006 at 4:44pm
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And extra chocolate!!! ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 14 July 2006 at 6:03pm
| I found having a shower every day made me feel not so crazy. |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 14 July 2006 at 8:56pm
| oh yeah...and getting out of pjs makes you feel good too (i can't believe I just said that....in the height of my uni days I would go outside wearing them whereever possible) |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 15 July 2006 at 4:49pm
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lol - that's why a good small bouncer is sooo good - cos no matter what you PLAN to do there will be times when baby just will not sleep when you were planning to have a shower!!! so i used to stick my little ones in the bouncer all snuggled in a blanket and take them into the bathroom with me, but would make sure that i had the extractor fan on so they didn't get all misty and overheated... 9 times out of 10 they would fall asleep while i was having my shower and i could move then in their bouncer into their room, get dressed and have a cuppa (or some brekkie if i hadn't yet managed that yet) before they woke again, sometimes i would even get a couple of hours out of them if they had been awake for ages and been real toads. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 15 July 2006 at 9:49pm
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Hehe Deborah - I'll probably be fair ready to send Willie back after the first couple of days...
Janine - that's a great idea! Maya must have had an inbuilt radar coz as soon as I got in the shower she would start up, even if she had been fast asleep. I never thought about taking her with me! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 16 July 2006 at 10:30am
| I think jack had the same radar every time i wanted a shower or tried to eat he would wake up |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 16 July 2006 at 12:08pm
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Yeah that's what i was always worried about, i was scared that maybe one would wake just when i got in the shower and maybe cry alot and be really upset by the time i got to them lol. so for the most part i would actually time my showers for when they were awake, and once Ayja was born and on the days that Paris was at home, i would bring Ayja in in her bouncer and Paris would come in with a few books and a couple of toys and they would both sit happily - was good cos i could keep an eye on them and still have a decent shower, knowing that I knew what they were doing the whole time. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 17 July 2006 at 8:37am
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I'm liking the bouncer idea, Janine. I think hubby is going to have his eyes opened to how busy a new mum is when this wee one arrives... for now he doesn't see the problem - apparently we still get enough sleep, we just sleep whenever the baby does, and new babies sleep "90% of the time". And breakfast and lunch we still get whenever we want it, because we're home and can do that. And we never feel awkward about turning away visitors when we're just too tired to cope with them - oh, and our visitors always understand this and are really cool about it every time!!! YEAH, RIGHT!! I'm off to add a bouncer to my list of things to get. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 17 July 2006 at 1:57pm
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Even just a cheap one without all the toys and vibrating bits is good. hhhm am i only gave ours away a month ago - didn't think it would sell for much (even though was in good nick) cos ones ones on trademe like ours weren't even getting bids (i think everyone wants the vibrating ones lol)... so gave it to the daycare - never even thought about asking if anyone on here wanted it. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 17 July 2006 at 3:58pm
| We have a vibrating one, and in all honesty, taine didn't care for it, and it didn't vibrate himn to sleep - and it used a ton of batteries very quickly! We rarely used the funstion after about the first week. |
Posted By: Anna
Date Posted: 17 July 2006 at 4:32pm
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We had a bouncer too! And I would have to say that it was our best ever baby item! Quinn spent most of his time in there as a newbie... DEF GET ONE!! ------------- Anna http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 17 July 2006 at 9:36pm
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Yeah, we had a plain old boring one and Hannah loved it!!! It was her god mother's bouncer from when she was a babe
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Posted By: Kim
Date Posted: 17 July 2006 at 11:07pm
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I have just stopped using the bouncer while I have a shower. I close the door and Zac crawls around. The vibrating use to freak him out and make him cry! I definitely recommend getting one as well! ------------- Zac Mark - 30.11.05 Samara Ailsa - 13.08.07 |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 18 July 2006 at 2:58am
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Just reading this thread and it really strikes a chord. Erin has been feeding well, ie: latching on properly and taking in plenty of milk, but is really really unsettled at night and only sleeping for half an hour to an hour before either getting quite upset or demanding another feed. Doesn't seem to be wind (have been able to burp her easily enough), and she sleeps great during the day, I just don't want us to turn into complete night owls.
I know the first two to six weeks are the hardest, and whether I should just let things take their natural course for a while, but the lack of sleep is really rough - for all of us. Hopefully things right themselves and soon ! ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 18 July 2006 at 8:21am
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Don't worry Jax - soon the automatic pilot/zombieness will kick in and you will find it much easier Do sleep when Erin is sleeping during the day though, rest as much as you can... Don't feel bad about housework etc. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 18 July 2006 at 10:17am
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Yay Jax is back!! I hope Erin's (oh, I love that name!) sleeping improves soon - you have all my sympathies and I have everything crossed for you that she'll figure out nighttime is good for long naps! Well, I was passing time in Farmers yesterday (waiting my hour for that Polycose test or whatever it's called) and sitting right there was a bouncer reduced to a pretty cool price as it was the last of that stock and a display item. STOKED! It's a vibrating one, but I didn't intend to get a vibrating one since I couldn't imagine having your head bobbed about being soothing. But it has a bar for toys across the front and a good, comfy harness - and if baby likes the vibrations, then it's an even better bargain! Thanks for the idea, ladies. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 18 July 2006 at 10:48am
| Oh that was good Andie! Think I will get one for us to! Hopefully the same thing happens to me when im wondering around town after my polycose test tomorrow! Bring on the bargins!! |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 18 July 2006 at 10:53am
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We're going to have a go at trying not to let her go for more than four hours at a time, sleeping, that is. Last night she finally settled after another feed at 2am (previous being just after midnight), and so I was able to snatch a couple of stray hours sleep... and then a couple more just now. And you're right, I guess we'll just have to get used to it LOL But what a shocker I tell ya, nobody can quite prepare you for it eh? I guess I'm not feeling too bad, didn't have a "weepy attack" like the last two nights in hospital (damned milk hormones !), and made it through. May try the bouncer thing for sleeping her in during the day too. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 18 July 2006 at 11:22am
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it's pretty normal for babies to get night and day mixed up alot at first too, i think alot of ladies have found success with feeding every 3 hours during the day so it stretches out their nights a little.
With sleeping in the bouncer the only thing is to try and make sure that her head is back nicely and that she is reclined - until approx 6 months of age babies acannot hold their head up when asleep.. the same in carseats.. so if they fall asleep either get one of those little snooze cushions (about $11 i think) to sit under thier chin or tilt the carseat back so that her head is back - otherwise their airways can sometimes become blocked. not meaning to scare just be aware. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 18 July 2006 at 3:06pm
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Fair enough, she seemed to do OK in the bouncer for a little zzz this avo, but she's just woken up again and I *really* wanted to have a nap... was SO close to the three hour thing LOL But what was I expecting? Daddy is trying to settle her now, so we'll see. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 18 July 2006 at 3:22pm
soundsl ike she is doing pretty well though - remember it's early days and until b/feeding becomes established it's not all bad to demand feed - helps bring in milk and get feedin off to a good start. (sucks being the one waking up every few hours though beleive me... just take care not to become too exhausted - i would never wish on anyone to get to the point id did where i blacked out - last thing you need is a bub in hospital. ) anyway, great to have you back. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 18 July 2006 at 3:57pm
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we have a rocker, that collapses flat, and when x was new i used to lie her on it for her day sleeps, and put her to bed at night in her bassinette. The rocker was fantastic for holding her when i needed to do something, and shower time is exactly that! i used to have to make sure i had a shower before dh went to work, coz i didnt want to have her left alone. meant for some pretty gruesome 5 am starts (if she woke then, it would be feed etc, and as she took so long it would be 7 and i would have to have a shoeer now) wish i had thought of bringing her in with me, i didnt start doing that for months. ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe - my big 4 year old 
and Jordis - 1 year old 
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 18 July 2006 at 4:05pm
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Bouncers are pretty good, but they drive Nat and myself nuts as we constantly kick it! I had one for Kiya, and used it quite a bit (especially while I had a shower) but donated it to a Parent's Centre once she was 7 months old and crawling. We borrowed one for Josiah, but hardly used it... instead, we'd lie him on a beanbag with the extra material folded up under him. We're planning on doing the same with Xavier. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 18 July 2006 at 6:48pm
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I loved our bouncer, trouble was, so did Jake, and he'd constantly try to get in, whether not it was already occupied....or he would just grab taine's leg and try and haul him out. Poor little bubba!
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 18 July 2006 at 6:50pm
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and poor jax! hope Erin's sleeping gets better andignore any "helpful" people who exclaim that their babies "slept through the night at birth". I hate those people...well, when I'm sleep deprived I do.
my other suggestion was, any scheme that you try, give it a few days to kick in before deciding it's not for you. And seriuosly, whatever works for you, do it! |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 18 July 2006 at 8:11pm
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Janine and Liz have some really good advice there... the only thing I want to add is to say that I was told by a nurse who was a paediatric sleep specialist that it takes three days (or nights) to make a habit, good or bad. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 19 July 2006 at 2:08pm
Ok so last night was a fraction better, and I am working on ways to try and get myself to 'switch off' - Kaz already gave me a brilliant suggestion (lavender oil on pillowcase), and am open to any others - although I will just mention I don't have a tub (just a shower). Hot cuppas seem to do OK, had one last night that was brilliant & soothing after my lasagne didn't want to stay put  ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 19 July 2006 at 4:12pm
| Chamomile tea? (or are you already doing the herbal thing?) |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 19 July 2006 at 5:50pm
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Yup ! ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 19 July 2006 at 10:03pm
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I used to just have some warm milk with a little honey in it - apparently warm milk stimulates hormones that make you sleep. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 22 July 2006 at 12:06pm
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I was the same jax until i hit the point of being so tired i was asleep before my head even hit the pillow. What sucks is when you get so used to waking every 4 hours when they sleep longer you can't sleep cos u just lie there waiting for them to wake up.
I honestly can't remember much of the first 6 weeks except i was tired and had sore nips. Sounds like you are doing great though Jax one day you will wake up and realise you are on top of it all |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 22 July 2006 at 7:15pm
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Yeah you do get to that point that after a while you learn to switch off as soon as head hits the pillow - your body gets used to making the most of the little time you have to take "power" naps. lol ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 22 July 2006 at 7:53pm
I think I'm finally starting to get to that point ! But only just - Erin was a bit grizzly today and harder to settle, so I only got a mini-nap in this afternoon... but hey, SOME sleep is better than none right ?  ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 23 July 2006 at 12:24am
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lol i find the prob with me now is that i just drop off - i put ayja on our bed the other afternoon (while paris was at daycare) for a nap cos she was having an upset/sick/teething moment, and i lay next to her and gave her a cuddle and made sure she didn't try and climb off in the meantime and i thought that once she went to sleep i'd get up and do what i had to do... lol, she went to sleep and i thought i better stay there a min in case my movement woke her - i woke an hour and a half later. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 23 July 2006 at 11:48am
I do the same Janine. hehehe 
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Posted By: BabyCam
Date Posted: 27 July 2006 at 8:51am
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Hi Everyone
For the first few weeks we woke Cameron every 3 hours but not at night. At first it worked, but then we found the routine not working, he would take a while to fall asleap and then finally be in a sound sleep and it would be time to wake him, and he wouldn't feed propertly so we would put him back down and not long later he would be awake and hungry, so now I am feeding on demand and its working well, the only exception is that I'll wake him around 9.30pm and feed him to encourage him to sleep longer at night, which I'm embarassed to say he has done well since he was born (he's a month old). My husband took a week of work - he is self employeed also. He doesn't think about bills etc and I felt too guilty to tell him to get back to work. But I'm glad he did - I didn't need him to stay home with me, but it was helpful to discuss things with him and he really enjoyed his time with Cameron. I think we calmed each other down so neither of us got too stressed out. |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 27 July 2006 at 4:24pm
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Well, I'm re-thinking my idea of birthing baby at the hospital and coming straight home a.s.a.p afterwards... I'll decide at the time now. A hospital stay might be more restful. Having M.E. means I can't cope with lack of sleep or strenuous physical things well - they make me pretty blimmin sick - to the point that when it's really bad, reading and talking take too much effort and just can't be done! And what is LABOUR if not strenuous?!?!!! And how much sleep will I get afterwards??!!! Ah, I can only laugh at that thought! That's really why I'm so worried about how to cope with a newborn by myself. But there's been some awesome tips given here - thanks I think it'll be interesting to see if my husband's very reasonable boss sends him home when he goes to work just after our baby's birth anyway (the boss is a family man)! He's a hard worker, my hubby, and he enjoys his work too (thank goodness!), but on top of that our finances don't allow him to ease up much at all ------------- Andie |
Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 27 July 2006 at 5:21pm
 Oh Andie you will be suprised how well your boby cope staying in hospital is not such a bad idea I hear that PSlmy is really good too. I totally agreee about hte Sisther that is not likely to be very helpful. Ieas thinking tho if you do stay in hospital tell hubby to go to work those few day's that way he can be off when you get home and really need him. I am one of those people who really needs my sleep, but it funny how your body just kinda take's over and does what it need's to. You have the right idea just go with the flow and let thing's happen.
Never be afraid to ask for help if you need it. ------------- Deborah Mum to:
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 27 July 2006 at 8:21pm
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You do sound like you have it under control Andie. While no one can anticipate exactly how exhausting having a newborn is, you are very well mentally prepared.
Think it is a great idea saying no to hubby about his sis. Maybe after a few months you may feel up to handling her and babe. Then you can really put her to work Might be more fun for her in a few months anyway... babies are pretty boring for a while. (Altho suprisingly hypnotising.)
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 27 July 2006 at 8:22pm
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I second everything Deb said. Mike went to work while i stayed in the hospital. Palmy is good, and make sure that even if you feel like utter crap, you leave your room (i didn't the 1st time, for 3 days, and that was silly!) i also found the breastfeeding talk that they have every day at 10am very helpful the second time around... even though i *THOUGHT* i knew it all, i got alot of helpful tips that came in handy when all else failed.
I am also someone who doesn't function well without sleep. I turn into a really quiet withdrawn emotional mess and then i just SNAP!! (SCARY STUFF!) Little sis would not be helpful, even if she tried, because as i think i've said to you before, having people staying, even if they're fine about it you still feel rude when you go off to have a sleep while they are there. See how you go, i think a few days in hospital gives you a little time out, enough time to get to know baby with just you and bubs, and help at your fingertips... and when you do go home - you appreciate your own bed soooo much, and you actually have had time to miss your hubby, lol... so you are kinda grateful, even if he's a dufuss and does everything wrong (which will happen at day 3 lol) ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 27 July 2006 at 8:52pm
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LOL Janine! I so know what you mean about hubby doing everything wrong at day 3... which is also the day that it clicks for you that your newborn is not made of glass, and will not break if you move a little faster while sorting them out! ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 28 July 2006 at 4:42pm
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I learnt the second time round that it was way quickest to just get on and dress them after bath and when needing to change clothes etc,instead of stopping and conforting them constantly - and ending up with a very cold, half dressed exhausted baby who was ready for bed by the time i had consoled them 5 times.. lol.
------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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