GRRR social workers!
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Topic: GRRR social workers!
Posted By: Tastic
Subject: GRRR social workers!
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 11:22am
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since Ive been out of nicu we hve had this social worker, usually she is ok and help ful, but the last few months shes been really rude and pushy.
this past week she has rung me daily trying to get me to go to this flippen preschool around the corner (5 minute walk max) every flippen day I tell her I have monitoring at the hospital and I don't know how long its going to be (its varied from 30minutes to 5 hours) I said to her I have have an induction date of next wednesday so what did she say, ohh ok Ill book you in for a vist at 9am. Im like ILL BE IN HOSPITAL she said ohh ok Ill ring you about 9 then. I said umm they are breaking my waters about 8am so the last thing I want to be doing is chatting on the phone! GRRR she rang the next day and said ohh Ive booked you in for a visit at home on wedesday at 1pm ARGH honestly this flippen woman! I just said ok but I won't be there. she was like why? I said BECAUSE ILL BE IN THE HOSPITAL HAVING THIS BABY fast forward to yesterday after he ringing me every flippen day. she rings my cell phone 4 times one after another (I couldnt reach my phone being at the hospital on the monitors and all) I then get told off as I hadnt turned it down and I keep letting it ring. (then the midwife realised I couldnt actually reach it!) the social worker then text me 3 times and rang my home phone another 4 times - last time jamie answered it and he said he told her to leave me alone now she's rung me 3 times already this morning and whats it for to take me to the flippen preschool over the way - like I said 5 minute walk I said to her I will go myself and check it out, I dont need to be taken, but nope she doesn't get it, she keeps ringing me trying to take me to this flippen preschool - because she wants to check its ok for the boys - umm hello Im there bloody mother thats my job ARGH why won't she just get the hint! so question, am I in the wrong for wanting to complain about her? hubby's told me too she is also very rude to him and calls him some nasty names. she even told me Im a bad mum who lets my walks walk all over me (because I couldn't pick up aidan to put him in timeout) |
Replies:
Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 11:28am
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Umm yeah that's pretty much harassment. It's the kind of behaviour I'd expect from someone trying to enlist me in a cult.
I'd have a word to her supervisor to get her to ease off. -------------  
 
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 11:33am
Seems a little OTT to me.  ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 11:37am
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Oh yeah I'd definitely be complaining to someone, either by phone or written! Sounds to me like shes alittle obsessed with you and your kids.. also sounds very strange that she is being so pushy about everything. Calling DH names etc is a bit off too.. so yeah take it further.. Shes causing you undue stress too, which is not helpful with baby coming along soon.
------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 11:45am
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Complain!!
I don't know how you could have put up with it for so long and not told her to piss off! lol I wouldn't be that paitent |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 12:07pm
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I would talk to her supervisor & ask for it to be explained to her that you are having a baby & she is stressing you out.
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Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 12:21pm
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Thanks everyone. I thought she was being a bit over the top. and the last few days has really proved it.
forgot to say she said yesterday afternoon when I was home but I told hubby I didn't want to talk to her. he told her and I quote 'you know she had hospital today and that she didnt know how long she would be, (she said something at this point to which hubby said) yes I have spoken to her and she is still there as she was having contractions which were showing on the monitor' and then he hung up now you would think she would take that as a sign or something that IM HAVING A BABY SOON! |
Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 12:24pm
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ohh and when we told her we were having a baby she was like ohh your crazy, how are you going to cope blah blah blah
yeah see why hubby doesn't like her. Ive only put up with it cause I thought she was helping us, but now Ive written it down I see how much she's not! and to an extent making my mood etc worse because when she leaves or I hang up from her I feel like a complete failure as a mum |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 12:26pm
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yep i would speak to her supervisor and it might be a good idea to keep the texts and the record of the calls she made to you as well. she sounds like one of those women who dont have kids but works in a child related industry! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: surfergirl
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 1:17pm
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Just a question (and I hope this comes out the right way)...are you 'nice' person? What I mean is - are you nice to her face and polite and nod etc, but secretly you're wanting to rip her head off? Because, whether you mean to or not, you might be sending her mixed messages... She sounds like a nut job tho - and even if you're being nice and she's not getting the message, I do think you should complain, esp. about the name calling and making you feel like a bad mum. That's just not on! From what I've read on here lately you've really had enough - this 'support person' is not offering any support - so should just p!ss off! Hope your wee lady comes soon! ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 1:45pm
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Doesn't sound like she is the right social worker for you guys! Maybe sometimes when they deal with really difficult families that are non-responsive they need to be rather pushy, and maybe she just hasn't worked when she needs to be and when to back off. How long do social workers stay involved with families after having a child in NICU? If it's awhile I would request a change in social worker as you aren't feeling supported. ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 1:57pm
Thats what I was wondering ... its been years, why do you still have one, cant you just kick her to the curb? ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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freckle wrote:Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 1:58pm
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Yeah I'd complain!!! Name calling is no good in any way shape or form!
Why have you had a social worker because you had a baby in NICU? Is that standard? ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 3:16pm
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Definitely complain! She's sounds terrible, and putting extra stress on you at this time is so not on. ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 3:25pm
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Sounds like she is really blurring the lines between professionalism and "friendship " .
She is creating extra stress you don't need,definetly complain to someone !!!! ------------- 
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Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 3:26pm
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I've decided to write a letter and say we no longer require there services.
she use to come over every week, then fortnightly and at that time it was good as I had hit an all time low with my depression. now I am polite when I talk to her however the last few weeks Ive been quite 'short' with her. hubby wont even talk to her unless like yesterday he answers the phone and it's her I guess she's felt I still need her. she has always picked up something Im doing wrong or always commenting on how naughty the boys are etc so yeah will write an discharge myself from there services |
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 7:56pm
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I would write a letter but be aware that if they believe that you still require there services you can't always get out of it but can request another social worker.
Its not my business and don't want to cause offence but you seem to have issues with alot of the people around you i.e MW, Social Worker, WINZ staff etc so maybe the expectations vs reality of what is happening is out of kilter at the mo as it always can be when you are pregnant. -------------  
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 8:23pm
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OMG - we had one of those - i think they are used to people who wont help themselves (not that everyone who has been in picu or nicu is like that)
and so they come over all pushy like you dont have a brain in your body Tell her to piss off, do you even need one tastic, sounds like you know the ropes, and Im sure by now you have relationships with all the people you need to access thorugh the hospital and the mum thing um well - and schooling - well Id best not write that on here - Im sure your doing your job - but she isnt!! Complain til your blue in the face love - she is way out of line ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 8:28pm
I certainly have few contacts I can get ahold of and now I know its ok to ask for help from someone like a social worker etc I will do so after this pregnancy I personally think at this time Im at a point I don't need/want her around. she just makes me feel bad and I always dread her coming over. I think for my mental state Im better off without her or all this |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 04 February 2010 at 8:32pm
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oh honey dont take offence, Im sure peanut didnt mean in it in your head, but that the rough pregnancy you have had is enough to try the patiene of a saint - Im sure we are all less tolerant when we are over being uncomfy and just want out babes out - and that social worker would trip anyones buttons
Take care - not long to go now ------------- http://lilypie.com]
http://lilypie.com]
http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 05 February 2010 at 9:57am
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Where is the sw from? Was she appointed by Child & Family? Is it up to you to decide if you no longer need them or do they decide that.
Sorry if I sound nosey but I don't understand why you need a sw as a result of nicu. I still think you should have a word with her supervisor. |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 05 February 2010 at 11:25am
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SW's are made available for a number of reasons when you are discharged after high risk births - to access services, to access benefits, for counselling, child mother relationships, learning disabilites , loads of reasons - they are supposed to just facilitate relationships between the families and the services and help when they can.
They are not anything to do with CYFS ------------- http://lilypie.com]
http://lilypie.com]
http://lilypie.com]
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 05 February 2010 at 4:40pm
| Yeah, we were offered a social worker when I had Jared.. I said no, DH said yes to a couple of chats with them |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 05 February 2010 at 5:18pm
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Every hospital I have worked in has SW, they provide a fantastic service when needed.
But this one does not sound like a hospital one as she is not very understanding & supportive towards your pregnancy. |
Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 05 February 2010 at 5:27pm
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 05 February 2010 at 5:56pm
 ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 05 February 2010 at 7:21pm
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high risk lol
right |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 05 February 2010 at 7:50pm
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Have you called them yet ? how did you get on ? -------------
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Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 05 February 2010 at 8:21pm
| unfortunately I was busy today with my hospital appointment and monitoring etc. will ring first thing on monday |
Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 05 February 2010 at 8:36pm
Lol your post has it now Bizzy 
I agree with the others. If they are causing more pain then good sack em! |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 05 February 2010 at 8:53pm
pfft , doubt it , you'll be busy with Adele who will be born sometime in the next ten hours  -------------
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Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 05 February 2010 at 9:47pm
| lol Kelly, Ill make time to do it! just it completely slipped my mind after the hospital today |
Posted By: Blankney94
Date Posted: 05 February 2010 at 10:01pm
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Umm has this lady got a boss / supervisor? She needs to be told to "back off". Her job is to make things easier for you - not harder. Sounds like it's bordering on harassment, and certainly very unprofessional of her to be calling anyone names. BTW - I love my caller ID - have you got that? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 05 February 2010 at 10:09pm
| yes we have caller Id thats how I know its her |
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 06 February 2010 at 7:37am
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I think it is a little irresponsible for any of us to be suggesting you ditch the social worker to be honest. It sounds like, from what you have said regarding your issues with depression and the type of service you are receiving, that maybe the social worker is concerned you are entering a high risk time (with regards to your depression) with all the stresses of pregnancy and a newborn and is trying (maybe not in the most appropriate way) to help you sort a more accessible preschool to take some of the strain off you. Social services are so often limited and I don't believe they would keep providing a service unless they felt it was warrented. I think maybe requesting a change of social worker or a meeting with her and her supervisor to discuss boundaries maybe a better idea. ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 06 February 2010 at 8:04am
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I agree with freckle & after reading the posts that were deleted (before they were deleted) my previous views have changed. I think you & your DH need to sit down & discuss the issues with all involved as it looks like a SW has been assigned to you & your family for good reasons.
I understand how stressful it is being pg & with baby due soon & having other children, but the SW is there to make sure all is right with the children & reading between the lines I think she is looking out for them. I wish you all the best for you new arrival & I definitely would put a child into a center as it will give him a great experience & gives you a break. 
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Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 06 February 2010 at 8:34am
Agreed! And you put it so much nicer that I could. I have written and deleted a couple of posts like you have written but I just couldn't get them worded right. -------------
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