Childbirth anxiety
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31551
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Topic: Childbirth anxiety
Posted By: kezza2112
Subject: Childbirth anxiety
Date Posted: 10 February 2010 at 4:01pm
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I feel this is pretty common, but I'm due in 10 - 12 days and I am sh*tting myself over gving birth. Been there once and it was awful. I just lost ALL control and I'm scared it will happen again.
I don't have much support as I'm not with the father anymore (he will be part of the childs life though) and I've only got my mum who I don't feel that comfortable with being in the delivery room. Any advice? I tried to talk to midwfe but all she said was "We're not in Africa!" Didn't help!! |
Replies:
Posted By: Mamma2N
Date Posted: 10 February 2010 at 4:15pm
 Your Midwife said what!?? That isn't particularly helpful 
It's pretty natural to fear childbirth - I sure as hell did for the first & second trimester. By 30ish weeks I knew I had to do something to help myself, so did a lot of reading about hypnobirthing (didn't have $$ to attend classes) homebirthing (although was birthing in a birthing unit) and basically inspiring birth stories. I went into labour feeling 100% empowered, confident and excited about what was about to happen. And consequently my labour went off without a hitch, just over 3.5hours and an experience I can't wait to do all over again. Rewind a few months prior to labour and I wouldn't have imagined feeling so in control. So I fully recommend reading, practising breathing techniques (which for me was simply slow steady breathing) and telling myself that the pain I was going to feel is good pain and bringing me closer to my baby. Have you got a close friend who you feel comfortable with to go in with you? I'm sorry you feel like this. I'm not sure what your situation is with your mother, but she may surprise you and be exactly what you want and need during your labour. Have you spoken to your Mum about your fears at all? Anyway, if you need anymore advice (not that I have a whole lot sorry) or you just want someone to talk to please feel free to PM me. I can point you in the direction of some online sites that helped me. 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 10 February 2010 at 4:29pm
| Yeah my thought was a friend too. Even if they stay at the "head end" |
Posted By: crafty1
Date Posted: 10 February 2010 at 4:53pm
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Definitely google birthing affirmations and pick the ones that feel right for you. Start saying them to yourself often ie a few times daily and during labour. I found that this really helped me last time and focussed my energy into positive thoughts rather than worry. Worry doesn't help you at all but educating yourself and convincing yourself you CAN do this will.
Because yes it is natural to be afraid after having a negative experience, but the likelihood is that that this time will be different. 2 of my friends had really traumatic first births and went on to pop out their second no worries. Only think about that and not the last one. Only listen to positive birthing stories. My birth went without any probs partly due to me convincing myself that i could do it. I really believe it made a huge difference. Get someone there who also believes you can do it! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: escadachic
Date Posted: 10 February 2010 at 5:13pm
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I also had a horrible time with my first baby, the labour and birth. So I know how you feel.
I was also freaking out about giving birth again. This time was better I felt because I took Raspberry Leaf tablets. Which tone the uterus and help contractions be more efficient. I had a water birth without pain relief. I was shocked that I managed that. But water birth is really good if you can have a water birth. It is more soothing. Plus you are less likely to tear, which is a big plus. If you do use the bath, I recommend staying in there for the birth, as I feel it wouldn't be as easy to cope if you got out and birthed on the bed. This time might be a better time for you too. And I totally get your fear. -------------   
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Posted By: Jelly
Date Posted: 10 February 2010 at 6:55pm
Was your first birth in Africa? If not that was a really random thing for your midwife to say! 
I don't think I can add much to what the other girls have said since they're so onto it, but I'm sending you lots of positive labour vibes! Good luck!  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: katie1
Date Posted: 10 February 2010 at 8:26pm
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Are you in Dunedin? If you are I am positive I could guess who your midwife is!!
Not a very helpful comment from her! I can't add any more but think the others advice sounds great - esp the positive friend idea. Wishing you all the best. |