Mummy Guilts
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31670
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Topic: Mummy Guilts
Posted By: FionaS
Subject: Mummy Guilts
Date Posted: 15 February 2010 at 7:50pm
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This is a "can you relate" post for camaraderie.
Do you have days where everything goes pear-shaped and you feel like the worst mummy in the world? You know the days (I hope) where the kids cry about everything, nag for TV (or something similar) all day, seem tired and unwell but are not sick, lose the plot in the late afternoon and hence end up in bed in a snivelling mess with an empty tummy.....etc etc. And do you find yourself feeling guilty that perhaps you are doing something wrong or failing to do something right? But you feel like you are already giving every ounce of yourself so the thought of doing more or doing things differently just makes your head spin? Do you have those days? How do you deal with them? ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Replies:
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 15 February 2010 at 8:04pm
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We all have those days I reckon. I feel at my worst when I yell at DS...like I snap! I think I'm the only mum who ever does that to their child(ren) ------------- 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 15 February 2010 at 8:05pm
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Yep, quite frequently! My girls have bad days all the time, and I have bad mummy moments - tonight I yelled at Mercedes for throwing baked beans on the floor (that she had helped herself to out of the fridge), even tho I know it wasn't an effective way of dealing with the situation.
I just work on the theory that as long as there are more good days than bad, and that I can admit when I'm wrong and be honest about it with the kids so that they learn that even mummies aren't perfect, then we're doing pretty well. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 15 February 2010 at 8:30pm
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I think the tipping point for me is knowing that I can't "re-set" overnight as between the hours of 10 and 6 I'm up 5 times...twice to feed the 6 month, twice to deal with the preschooler and at least once to deal with fighting cats. It feels hard to be a "good" mum when dealing with such extreme exhaustion. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Cassie
Date Posted: 15 February 2010 at 8:32pm
My Mum has always told me that you only have to be a pretty good Mum most of the time to be doing the best by your kids - no-one is perfect, and gee, if we let our kids think we're perfect they'll have massive complexes about trying to live up to our standards 
I have plenty of those days where things don't seem to be going that great, or I could be handling things better, but have learned not to give myself the guilts. It doesn't do me any good and it certainly isn't benefiting the kids. I always apologise when I stuff up, and I think that's the best way to deal with it. Gotta own up to things, which sets a good example for them in turn. We're only human! ------------- ~Cassie~   
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Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 16 February 2010 at 10:03am
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heck yeah - even had a evening where all went pear shaped and in end i got in car and drove off to the beach for 20 mins!!! when I came back all was calmed down....thank goodness!!! gave me a breather to regroup myself too!!!
I hate how volume in house escalates sometimes and that does my head in...soemtimes I just go to another room until DH or bubba comes finds me...and makes it so much easier than yelling at her, him etc....DH does same thing.... also getting out for coffee with GFs etc in evening helps a lot....once bubs in bed i get ME time! |
Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 16 February 2010 at 10:07am
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All-the-time! Especially lately. I feel like I give 110% of myself to finding things to do, taking them out, being a loving fun mummy, and then fitting in the cooking and cleaning etc etc. The kids are into everything at the moment and I get sick of always having to say no, and always having to tell them off. I just feel so exausted at the end of the day, and don't feel like I have achieved anything for all of my hard work. I could write a novel on this topic.
Usually if I don't feel I can cope I take the kids over to my Mum's even when she isn't there as she has a big back yard and the kids can run lose and do what they want. |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 16 February 2010 at 2:11pm
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I have those days, when I feel bad cos I didn't drop C at school and Phil did , or I didn't get to read C her story , or Ty wakes all through the night and im not overjoyed to see him awake again , and tell him so .
Then I look on the news and see all the children who are really mistreated and I thank god my children have me , who at least cares enough about them to feel guilty mostly tho , I take one day at a time , otherwise it overwhelms you ------------- 
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