A fair call?
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31781
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Topic: A fair call?
Posted By: Snappy
Subject: A fair call?
Date Posted: 20 February 2010 at 10:46pm
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I was talking to DH about me becoming a volunteer for a Charity that organises Photo shoots for families/children that have a serious illness.
If I do sign up, I will be photographing children with cancer/leukaemia/autism etc, and I would be gifting the families these photographs so that they have something to treasure in years to come. I would also be doing family photos etc... DH said no. I sat in the car after his call really upset.. The cost for me to do this would be fairly minimal... I already own my camera, so any costs would just be potential paying customers that I may have to turn down. I'm not even busy, and it's an hour max of my time a week. Maybe we are just too different? |
Replies:
Posted By: Mamma2N
Date Posted: 20 February 2010 at 11:03pm
What a wonderful gift to give!  I think my DH would have much the same reaction if I were to do something similar. (not photography though cause I suck  ) So perhaps you are a bit different. I know DH and I are like chalk and cheese, but as cliche as it sounds, opposites attract
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 20 February 2010 at 11:04pm
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Wow, did he give a reason behind his "no"?
How come he could go and work in the cycle shop for MANY hours, and no pay, but you can't even give an hour to a deserving charity by offernig up your skills and time...and therefore not actually really costing you much?? |
Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 20 February 2010 at 11:30pm
Nope, just all to do with money. I guess he sees it as unpaying customers 
Funny you should say that Minik8e, his bike is sitting in the laundry and he wants nothing to do with his bike anymore. 
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 21 February 2010 at 12:20am
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I think that is a wonderful idea. A very kind & rewarding thing to do.
Word of mouth is one of the best advertising tools & I am sure your client base will grow from it. You may also be able to get sponsorship if needed. Think maybe your DH does not want you taken advantage of as you have been in the past, but I am sure if you sit down & talk to him about it he may see it differently. If you give a little you get a lot you do beautiful photos, a family will treasure it forever.
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 21 February 2010 at 12:22am
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Maybe you could convince him its a tax write off and claim back fuel and processing costs that you do incur. Its not like you will spend all your time doing free jobs just the occasional one i assume. -------------   
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 21 February 2010 at 9:17am
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I think you could reason with Dh that until you are too busy to do charity work, now would be a good time to involve yourself, as it's also more experience for you. You will only learn and grow from doing this. ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 21 February 2010 at 9:38am
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Tell him it's good marketing and a great way to get word of mouth out about you to potential paying customers.
I'm not actually sure why you asked him though, if it's your business surely it's your decision as to how you run it. |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 21 February 2010 at 10:30am
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What you want to do is a lovely idea. One way you could do it is approach a charity that you want to do it with (child cancer for example) and ask them if you can do it before you advertise. If you do get to do it, it will be great marketing by word of mouth as people who have the photos done will show their friends and you will get great business that way. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Brilee
Date Posted: 21 February 2010 at 11:18am
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Sometimes men just dont think, wait until you have calmed down then go to him calmly and tell him how he made you feel and your reasons behind you wanting to do this,
I think it is a wonderful idea, maby you could sell his bike to fund it????  (that was the devil on my shoulder!!!) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 21 February 2010 at 11:19am
| I think it is an absolutely wonderful thing to do and I would certainly be 'challenging' that no. Surely you have the right to some 'free' time and you can do as you wish with it. And like the others said - it will be an excellent way to generate new business also. |
Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 21 February 2010 at 11:30am
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I agree with this!! ------------- Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4 
 
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xXELAx wrote:
I hope you can sort something out so it can happenPosted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 21 February 2010 at 12:09pm
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Ditto everyone else
It's a lovely idea and would make a real impression on the people you photograph. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 21 February 2010 at 12:31pm
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Agree with everyone else its a great idea, and way of generating good PR for your business, whose to say the parents of the children won't refer you to their friends etc, also could possibly generate some free publicity if there is something about it in the local paper etc.
Do you need your DH's permission? Can't you go ahead and do it for yourself its your business after all. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: MyLilSquishy
Date Posted: 21 February 2010 at 12:41pm
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so you will be taking photos.... then does the Chairty pay for them to get printed and gift them to the families or is it your own cost?
if it would be your own cost, maybe you could look for sponsorship.... sponsorship from a photolab (somewhere that prints piccies) then the sponsorship could be the cost of printing the photos.... or maybe you could put them all on a cd or dvd disc and maybe 10 prints (will cost about $2-$3 to print) (can get packs of 50 from the warehouse for less than $30) and give them out instead.... then they can email them out to friends and family aswell and have the option to print more if they decide to... but still have those 10 you got printed for them.....? good luck hun! i think its a fantastic idea and am now interested myself! |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 21 February 2010 at 1:44pm
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That's such an easy way to advertise yourself. You should do some research into how much advertising can cost and scare him with those numbers and then he might change his mind
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Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 21 February 2010 at 2:11pm
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Do you listen to your husband? LOL
In all seriousness though, do you think he would be happier with it if he knew it was only for a set amount of time, as opposed to something you could potentially keep doing for a long time? Say, could you commit your services only for a month at a time or something like that? |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 21 February 2010 at 4:11pm
Would you be charging for prints? That's where most photographers make their money, is by charging for prints and re-prints. Maybe donate your time and equipment for the photoshoot and a fee to cover your costs of printing. Great suggestion ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 21 February 2010 at 9:36pm
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Is that all he said - No? Did he give you any reasons? Sit him down again and talk to him about it again.
I'd just do it anyway, I wouldn't let him hold you back... you need this... ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 21 February 2010 at 9:57pm
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His point is that I am always doing things. I He said I should be concentrating on us first.
Apparently I get taken for granted and because I'm "soft".. he said I don't often get a thank you from people and it makes him mad. I say if it makes me feel good, then what's the harm? Shouldn't I be the judge of that, not him? I don't do things because I want something in return. |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 22 February 2010 at 8:10am
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Time to put your foot down & maybe tell him what you will be doing instead of asking him. Does he ask you all the time? Or does he just do.
Building up your business will give you independence & the ability to make own money....& maybe that scares him. Do what you want for a change. |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 22 February 2010 at 9:39am
wow, to me, the people you would be taking photos of , are the most paying customers, they are just paying with tears, and heartache instead of money . No offence to your DH , but often the best things we do in life are the ones we do for no recognition and no reward except to see the smile on someones face . I think you know that too , which is why I think you should talk to him again, and do it , its your business , and it seems you really want to do this, (which is a great idea btw) Its so worth it, things like this , DH and I made my friend's mum a beautiful collage of my (dead) friend, the look on her face when she opened it up was worth the hours I'd spent ordering DH to put this pic and this pic on whilst I watched TV ------------- 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 22 February 2010 at 9:39am
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Oh yeah , and im with the telling him , not asking him , boat -------------
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Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 22 February 2010 at 9:59am
| I agree with the others, this takes no time away from your familly or finances and gives so much to another family. I think it is a great idea (and would surely help your photography business as well). |
Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 22 February 2010 at 10:13am
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Sounds like a lovely idea. Definitely do it!
And what is with asking for your DH's permission to do something? I stopped asking people for permission when I was 12 years old! Sure, I think it is great to discuss things but at the end of the day it is your decision and your life. |
Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Date Posted: 22 February 2010 at 10:27am
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You should totally do it! It will give you fantastic experience as well - you are after all just starting your business so what better way to promote it than charity - I think its an awesome idea!
Im with Kate - what about all the hours and hours he spent working for free at the bike shop! Least this is going to take you some where and help grow your business. The BEST form of advertising for any company is word of mouth (good word of mouth that is haha) and the exposure would be awesome! Do it, you know you want to and you know it would be great for you and for your new venture. Will you put the photos onto CD for them? Or actually print some? ------------- TTC 6 years IVF it is IVF/ICSI round one 10 eggs, 8 mature, 3 fertilised BFN IVF/ICSI #2 = 22 eggs! 20 mature, 15 fertilised, 1 fresh transfer and 2 frosties BFN 2 Frosties still in freezer thank god |
Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 22 February 2010 at 12:15pm
Nodding with you Kelly. I could talk to I was blue in the face and he still wouldn't "feel" anything for them. Sure, I could probably talk about how its going to be great for the business and THEN he would care, but for me the big issue is the fact that he's said no to these kids.. not to me if that makes sense. Anyhoo, I signed up  Don't even know if they would accept me I think you have to be pretty professional and have a well established business.. but even if I don't perhaps I could do a fundraiser for Aria or something to keep me feeling good
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 22 February 2010 at 12:38pm
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Good for you hope something comes of it, what a wonderful thing to do. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Brenna
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 8:08pm
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I think I know the charity you're talking about...they're amazing!! Good on you for putting your name forward. We've been accepted for a photo shoot and it's so cool to have something to look forward to!!
yay for you  ------------- My beautiful 2 girls...nearly 4 and 13 months
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 9:03pm
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Good on you!!! I would have just signed up anyway... And I also don't "ask" my husband before I do things, I am an adult after all! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: MyLilSquishy
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 9:45pm
| so what is this charity? coz im actually really interested myself! |
Posted By: ?Lolly?
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 10:47pm
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He said 'no'?? for shame. Good for you doing something to help others and also make your self feel good. Fair enough he doesn't want you taken advantage of but he's hardly protecting you by making you feel bad, or that you can't do what you want to do. ------------- Captain Chaos (5) & the Trouble Monsters (2!) 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 11:24pm
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Good on you Kylie!!! You are doing a wonderful thing
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 24 February 2010 at 8:10am
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Good on you !!
You are our own woman which is why you do so well in business. I do a little bit for charity where I can and the feel good factor is all the thanks you need You have an amazing talent, I think its brilliant you have chosen to share it in such a way ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 26 February 2010 at 7:07pm
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aww Kylie you are an amazing person with a big heart!!! good on you!!!
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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 08 March 2010 at 2:37pm
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YAY!!!!! I've been accepted!!!
Thanks everyone :) |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 08 March 2010 at 2:49pm
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Awesome! I hope your DH isn't too grumpy about it - I swear men are more hormonal than us girls sometimes! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 08 March 2010 at 3:03pm
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Awesome news Kylie! ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: MindyW
Date Posted: 08 March 2010 at 3:55pm
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You're doing a wonderful thing Kylie! Good on you! I hope your DH sees how much joy you're getting and the families are getting out of it and it changes his mind!
You are obviously a very special lady ------------- My Beautiful Little Emily http://lilypie.com"> 
We've Waited for You Forever! |