Do you / would you?
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31857
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Topic: Do you / would you?
Posted By: MummyFreckle
Subject: Do you / would you?
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 5:21pm
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keep in touch with an ex? Would you be friends with them or are you friends with them? An ex has just friended me on FB, and I know that I no longer have any feelings for him, so its not an issue, but it got me thinking about how many people are actually friends with an ex and how their current partners/ husbands feel about it? ETA - I should add, this particular "ex" is from when I was 18, very young, and well before I met DH who I have been with for 12 yrs! |
Replies:
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 5:22pm
| I am with one of mine. He even came to our wedding so there is absolutely no issue there. |
Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 5:25pm
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I still talk to some of my ex's depends on the type of person the are really -------------   
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Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 5:27pm
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I don't really have enough ex's to be friends with.
I'm still close with an old high school boyfriend, but we were friends first, so it's just a natural thing, really. The only other ex of any note (ie: we went out for more than 3 months lol) is so far up his own butt that I couldn't be his friend if I tried 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 5:28pm
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Yep I am with 2 of mine and 1 of them I am giving him parenting and wedding info. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 5:36pm
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Yep. My ex before Matt I was with for 9 years, we're great mates still, were better as mates than anything else anyway! ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: shadowfeet
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 6:02pm
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I was friends with 1 of mine up til a few months ago (have been with DH for over 4 years). I think he felt a bit wierd about me having a kid because he has fertility problems ------------- 
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 6:07pm
I'm still friendly with the ex husband .. the ex before husband number one, broke my heart at age 18, so when I saw him at the gym and he tried to talk to me I pretended I didnt see him because if he wanted to talk to me, he should have married me. 
Note - its getting much harder to deliberately ignore him when he stands next to the treadmill while im running trying to catch my eye.  ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 6:20pm
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heh heh , maybe he will try and wave to catch your attention and fall off the treadmill ...then you can notice him , and point and laugh
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Posted By: Flutterby
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 6:41pm
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I am still in contact with one of mine.. He is a great guy and a great friend. But DP doesn't like to think that ex is still in my life so I just keep it quiet. DP is scared that ex will try and get me back, which is crazy since ex is the one that broke it off and it was 6yrs ago.
Though I won't talk to my first ever ex, mainly because he wasn't very nice to me and I had to change Islands to get away from him (best thing that ever happened). Though he has tried his hardest to stay friends but I think he has finally got the message. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 6:53pm
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I just became friends with an ex recently on FB. It was great to catch up with him. He broke my heart at the time but I am well over it now! I love hearing where life has taken my ex's and some I have to admit that I am happy I never married them!
DH is also friends on FB with his ex of 5 years that broke his heart and cheated on him with his mate! She was the ex just before he started seeing me. I have no problems with him being friends with her, she screwed up and I scored him, so I have her to thank for that!! Infact we are going to a wedding next Friday and I know she will be there! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 8:15pm
DH's ex is one of our best mates  They were together for a while, but just didn't mesh properly...my ex, I only think about what a lucky escape I had. I do keep in contact with a few of the others, and DH isn't thrilled (he thinks they all want me back, regardless of the fact that most of them are in long-term relationships etc), but it's simply platonic. I invited one to our wedding as well (he and his partner couldn't travel for it, but all good).
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Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 8:28pm
| I keep in touch with a few "exes" - mostly teenage romances. The only other long term boyfriend I had aside from DH was heartbroken by me and has refused to speak to me ever since! |
Posted By: Manda08
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 9:01pm
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Hmm interesting, glad to know im not the only one. My ex from hmm 5 years ago, he emails me every morning without fail to say good morning... DP doesnt seem to mind, also we think he is gay. He is moving to Brisbane soon, which im pretty upset about. DP doesnt like him so much now that we were out one night and my ex got really drunk and told him what he thought of DP, it wasnt nice. I was really upset with him but he said he had no reason to say what he did and apologized lots... My other ex lives in Perth, was a long distance relationship, we still talk, he has moved on and building a house with his new partner and i love hearing how he is getting on.. ------------- 
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Posted By: julz85
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 9:05pm
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well unfortunatly i have to stay in contact with my ex as he's Amelias dad , altho hes only seen her 5 times in her whole life ( 7 months old) my current partner hates the fact we are in contact as he is the main man in Amelias life and does all the "daddy" stuff , i can see where hes coming from but unfortunatly i dont think i could just stop contact all together with Amelia and her Dad , id feel too giulty (even tho her dad does nothing for her) . I still need to give him a chance ... or 2... or 3... or 4 im still friends with one of my exes tho, he was a great support and friend to me actually when i was pregnant with Amelia . ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: LouD
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 9:10pm
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I stay in touch with my ex but mostly cos we have a son together........but i think i would have him as a friend on FB even if we didnt have a child.
We have in the past stayed at his place .......i say we being me and my now husband. this was before he got another girlfriend (or now wife) then he went all weird like he had to hate me cos i was the ex wife.........really peeved me off. Him and my DH got along so well and did nothing but give me sh*t My current MIL even invited him to stay with his then girlfriend when they were passing through, which i thought was kinda weird.......
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 9:14pm
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Absolutely not! There's a reason why they're exes! I would rather cut my head off, fry it up with ham and eggs (and I'm a vegetarian) and pour it down my throat than talk to any of my exes lol. I give my absolute all to relationships but if they don't work out, I move on TOTALLY. Looks like I'm the odd one out lol -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 9:15pm
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PS- obviously if DF and I broke up the above would not apply lol as we have a baby together. But there'd be none of this 'what if' crap. I know, I'm a hard arse lol ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 9:19pm
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Nope, Emmecat, your not.
I only have one real ex (apart from highschool stuff) and I don't keep in touch with him at all. My mum does business with him though so I get updates and no doubt so does he
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 9:22pm
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Yeah I gotta say I find it SO weird that people (incl DF It's not that I hate my exes- not at all- it's just that I don't think about them cos that part of my life is over IYKWIM? Even my 'great love' doesn't get the time of day in my mind cos once I'd grieved and processed our relationships demise then it was time to move on NEXT! lol ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: rachelsea
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 9:40pm
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DH and I are really good friends with my ex and his gf (well we did only go out together for 3months lol!). And my only other ex is a FB "friend" but I'm not sure why because he sent me a message when my DD was 3weeks old asking if I could send him a pic of a cross stitch he did for me when we were together, and I emailed back with the pic and told him about Chelsea etc etc and he just wrote back "Thanks for the pic" and made no reference to anything else I'd said lol. And we haven't messaged each other since then (should check my friends list, he has probably deleted me for all I know
DH doesn't keep in touch with any of his exes! ------------- DD 4yrs DS 2yrs http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 9:57pm
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Nope!
My ex can jump off a cliff for all I care He put me through hell. he lives in Aussie now, so I never see him. My brother is still in contact with him though, much to my disgust!------------- |
Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 10:12pm
I don't even have any ex's  Well, I have several from when I was about 15 - lol.
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 10:31pm
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My only ex is my high school BF and we recently became FB friends but don't particularly keep in touch apart from when we first came across each other on FB and did the "where are you now" spiel.
------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 10:40pm
Ditto  Well the first half anyway.------------- 
 
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kaiz231 wrote:Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 11:05pm
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I have one proper ex, who I had stayed friends with until I realised what effect it had on DH - he couldn't get passed what the ex had done to me (was pretty hurtful as people can be).
Anyway, I deleted him off FB but will quite happily talk to him if we're at the same function - just don't see a need to be updated on his life or for him to know all about mine. DH's ex's/shags - well he is friends with one and she is a lovely chick, came to our wedding with her now ex (also army) and I love hearing updates about her kiddies etc. Depends on the person I guess and how the relationship ended. |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 23 February 2010 at 11:28pm
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I was thinking "no , im not really friends with any of my exes ,nor do I keep in touch with them "
Then just realised that duh , im friends with C's dad , and me and Dh see quite a bit of him and his wife, who I talk to more than I talk to than C's dad . We even stayed with them in Aussie -------------
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 24 February 2010 at 8:00am
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Not with the guys I had long-term relations with, but I do have FB friend who I had a fling with we've been friends for years and actually had to trouble remembering if we had been more than that 'friends with benefits' I think.
DH keeps in touch with one of his ex's we went to each others weddings. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 24 February 2010 at 8:39am
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No ex's on my friend list, DH has got one ex that he is friends with on facebook but never talks to. Oh, and I hate her with more venom than I ever thought possible
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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 24 February 2010 at 9:15am
Big ditto to that! |
Posted By: didi99
Date Posted: 24 February 2010 at 9:59am
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Funny a couple of weeks ago I just went to my ex's wedding, so obviously we are still quite good mates. Went out with him from 16-20 so quite a while however we were good friends before that and after the whole break up drama (him cheating but still being in love with me and not wanting me to move on) we just fell back into being good mates. I am quite good friends with his now wife as well which I think is a big factor in still being friend's with him I think if she or my DP where uncomfortable with the friendship it probably wouldn't exist. -------------  Angel Babies Nov 09, May 10, Dec 10
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Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 24 February 2010 at 11:47am
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Thanks for all the stories - its good to know that people can be "friends" with people from their previous lives! I am in contact (infrequently) with one particular ex, but he lives in oz so havent seen him for over 12yrs. I was telling DH last night how nice it was that we could chat online and email each other with no wierdness or ill feeling. DH thought it was lovely, much to my relief!
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Posted By: Kalimirella
Date Posted: 24 February 2010 at 6:53pm
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I only have one ex and he hurt me quite a bit with the break up..he basicly dumped me with no warning after having an awesome holiday....
So while I still talk to him occasionally on MSN I would no longer count him a friend. Specially after I told him I was pregnant with my DP and he asked what I was going to do with it..ie abort or adopt out. He seemed shocked when I said I was keeping my little girl.... Anyway thats my only ex and my DP has no exes (I'm his first GF) ------------- Kiara is 3 and Teagan is 2, now we're expecting our long awaited 3rd! http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Blankney94
Date Posted: 24 February 2010 at 7:42pm
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I was friends with one of my ex's. I was happy for him when he eventually found someone to share his life with - but she couldn't handle my friendship with him and got all jealous. I shifted cities, but if it wasn't for that we would be still running into each other at sports events. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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