Men are from Mars...
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=31963
Printed Date: 05 June 2024 at 10:19pm
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Topic: Men are from Mars...
Posted By: 0mrs0ana0
Subject: Men are from Mars...
Date Posted: 28 February 2010 at 10:11pm
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I know that it's happening to my body and I can feel the changes daily, I'm the one physically dealing with it, but why doesn't he seem to be on the same page?
He is excited don't get me wrong, but I've been trying to get him to book some leave, it's really hard for him to get leave and at the moment there is space for when our little one is due. We don't have any family in town and although I know my parents will be here for a bit, I'd love for DH to have a month off work to spend time with both of us... He just can't seem to get his butt into gear to book it... I know he'll miss out if he doesn't do it soon. 
I don't want to be the nagging wife, but I don't want to do this on my own  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 May 2012
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Replies:
Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 01 March 2010 at 7:33am
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So tell him! Remember men are (mostly) clueless. Mine hasnt booked leave and has now missed out, so it's his loss - he does work from home however so he'll sort something out.
You're never the nagging wife, you're the wonderful woman growing his child. ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 01 March 2010 at 11:18am
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Also remember how different it is for them and us, we are the ones feeling baby inside, and it feels more real for us , DH said that it was exciting seeing the scans etc but it wasn't really real until Ty was born .
So tell him in basic terms that you will need him home and that he has to get leave asap . ------------- 
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Posted By: RinTinTin
Date Posted: 01 March 2010 at 12:43pm
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Awww I know how you're feeling. My DP didn't catch on until the 20 weeks scan where we found out the gender. Then it was a real being with a name and a sex and stuff. Before that it was just a little huhu grub in my tummy that he really had no connection with. And once baby started moving...well we were off! With booking leave, as far as I know, as long as he books leave 3 weeks in advance, your employer cannot say no. BUT I might be wrong there. I know with PPL for the mothers they ask for the forms to be completed and handed back 3 months before you want your leave. I don't see how they can legally deny him leave, but someone may have a more educated idea on that. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 01 March 2010 at 2:57pm
The leave Carin is talking about is unpaid. Fathers get 2 weeks unpaid leave that they are legally entitled to. However, if you want to use annual leave instead, so that it's paid, then he'll need to follow whatever policies his work has regarding that. But yeah, I second just telling him to book the time off or you'll go all hormonal on his arse  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 01 March 2010 at 4:13pm
lol T_rex 
I reckon just give him a little more time. He's probably still adjusting to the fact youre expecting a bubs and he's going to be a dad. Thats a pretty big responsibility 
When I fell pg with Jackson DH was not really into it cos of a previous MC I had. It wasnt until the 13 week scan that he became excited and wanted to start buying things and organising stuff 
If he hasnt organise leave by 13 weeks then I'd go all hormonal ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: 0mrs0ana0
Date Posted: 01 March 2010 at 8:41pm
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Hmm.... I went a bit hormonal last night, so he got the point.
We had a nice civilised conversation this morning, he bought it up actually, said he was going to talk to me about it last night before I went all snarky on him!
So anyway, he's put in a leave application today, no nagging involved! Good DH! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
May 2012
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 02 March 2010 at 2:24pm
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Good to hear.
Hormones are such wonderful things  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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