Working away from family
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32041
Printed Date: 11 October 2025 at 9:48am
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Topic: Working away from family
Posted By: mummy_becks
Subject: Working away from family
Date Posted: 03 March 2010 at 5:35pm
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Does anyone else do this??? I have been offered a job that is not in Palmy, I have 2 weeks to decide and confirm what I am going to do. It is an army job in the Wellington region. Anyone done working away from the family and how did they cope? I will be the big money earner in the family as well so that is something that might swing us to me taking the job. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Replies:
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 03 March 2010 at 5:46pm
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MIL has done this and still does occasionally and without even considering kids she finds it very hard and its hard on them financially, they had to have 2 houses.
Personally its not something I would ever consider, being part of my family just on the weekend would never be an option for myself. I wouldn't want to miss out on on Daniel either. Kids are only young once. And then I'd wonder what it would do for my marriage as well. Palmy isn't that small so even if you don't have a job to go to straight away you would find work in town. |
Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 03 March 2010 at 6:55pm
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I know someone here in Auckland through our bookclub, they have three boys, andd her husband works four days in Wellington, he comes home Friday and goes back Sundays or Mondays ------------- susie |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 03 March 2010 at 7:56pm
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Hmm it's a toughy, I wouldn't think unless you're being paid enough to run 2 houses, compensate for the loss of time with your family and your travel and extra stress it would be worth it.
It's not something I would consider either, even though my DH is regularly away I just couldn't do it. |
Posted By: mumtooboys
Date Posted: 03 March 2010 at 8:29pm
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Not yet, but we might be. We are having to make some major decisions at the moment as DP was made redundant last week and there are no jobs, especially nowhere near what he was making. Our options all suck, but one of them includes him going back to the UK to work for 6 months and me and the 2 boys staying here. I hate the idea on a number of levels...not least of which worrying about how I will cope without any family support but it means that our life in NZ is not over and we don't all have to go back to the UK which is not what we want to do anyway.
The 'logic' of him going back there is that he can live with his parents and thus minimise outgoings there so he can support the 3 of us here. BUT it's 6 months of their lives he is missing (DS1 is 6.5, DS2 is 2.5)and even if we can pull it off, there is still the risk that if there still aren't any jobs next year we are going to have to all go back to the UK anyway. This has really thrown us, and all our options suck and mean us having to potentially leave the support system we have here if we are fortunate enough to be able to do a move within NZ. But if we go back we have family support and DP can earn heaps of money but we lose everything that we came out here for in the first place. It sucks big time.  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: M2K
Date Posted: 03 March 2010 at 9:01pm
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Could your partner get a transfer? ------------- 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 03 March 2010 at 11:07pm
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I did it last year for half the year, I was only away from DH.
Depends on how well you cope with stress and pressures from work, as I found when things got a bit tough I struggled without having DH to bounce things off, and it did affect our relationship in that DH got used to being by himself. Will you commute every day, or only on the weekends? I can see myself doing it again once I'm qualified as there isn't the work up here for me that I want to do, and there isn't work for DH in Wellington. There are plenty of people that do it, I know of one couple that live in Waikanae, where the wife works in Lower Hutt and the husband at Ohakea its what ever works for you. You could always accept the position and see how it goes. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 03 March 2010 at 11:58pm
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There is alot to think about. Would stay during the week and come home on the weekends. Still to talk about travel and what I can get for that. Wouldn't ahve to worry about a house there as we have family there i can stay with. Waiting for DH to come back here so we can talk about it. I had a talk with one of the woman I work with who is here by herself and left the kids at home. She likes it but misses her boys and DH. Will have to maybe write a list of pros and cons me thinks. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 04 March 2010 at 7:54am
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How much job hunting have you done in Palmy?
How would Andrew react to it? I say Andrew rather than Josh because of the whole I hate you thing hes going through. How will he react to just having his daddy 5 days a week, miss you and have you ont he weekend? |
Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 04 March 2010 at 1:53pm
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If you could work 4 longer days (ie 10hr days Mon-Thurs) and then go home on the Friday so you get a long weekend then that could work. Lots of people I have worked with over the years have done it like this. I think its harder for women than for men, most of the people I know that have done this have been men. I guess it depends on how happy your DH is with being a "solo" parent for most of the week, and how you feel about being away from your boys. |