What do I choose? Baby or Career?
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Topic: What do I choose? Baby or Career?
Posted By: lisa85
Subject: What do I choose? Baby or Career?
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 10:33am
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Hey girls! (Sorry this will be a long post!)
Do I choose baby now, Career later? Or career now, baby later? OK so I pretty much know what I want to do but would like some opinions from some people not emotionally involved in the situation. So the story is we are blessed with two perfect and healthy twin girls who will be two in May and we have been trying for our third and final baby since Jan 2010. However in the last week we have put trying on hold as we debate the question above. I have decided I want to get my diploma in web development which will take about a year of study. Then I want to start my own business building websites for others. I may even want to work for a existing company for a year before I start my own business so I can really get a good insight into web development. Keeping in mind I wouldn't start my study until March 2011. So really we are looking at another 2-3 years before we can try for another baby. Now that's all fine but I'm really badly baby craving right now and I always wanted my kids to be close in age. I also just feel like the timing is right. We have absolutely no debt at the moment we even have savings! lol. Plus Jess has a fantastic stable job and our girls are such a great age right now. I think they would just be wonderful with a new baby. Everything in our lives is saying this is the right time to have a baby. So the big question is do I put off having the baby we both want so badly and concentrate on the career I dream of that could also do wonders for us financially? Or do I have the baby and get all the infant and toddler days behind me then concentrate my full attention on my career? By the way I'm only 24 going on 25 this year so age isn't an issue. -------------  
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Replies:
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 10:37am
| Personally if it were me I'd do baby first career later. You can always study and learn while preg or with bubs. I did it for a semester and it was doable and theres loads of others that do it on here too. Then at least your career won't be interrupted by a newborn and you can get on and concentrate on that. Thats the way my mind works anyway. You can always take steps towards getting your dream career going while continuing on baby making plans. We would be financially better off if I got my career off the ground, I can't study this year. But I will next year and if this all goes to plan I'll have a 3 month old. |
Posted By: BeLoved
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 10:42am
| I would go with baby first and then career, but then I am biased as I want another baby so the whole clucky thing is probably influencing my advice. Sorry thats probably not much help, but I agree with everything Stacey said. |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 10:44am
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I'm doing both, I'm re-training after 20 years in Office Admin and have found out that we're expecting our first baby in Nov, I want to study full time while on maternity leave by then I'll be half way through my Degree and want to start looking for work in my new field by the time our baby is 3 and expect to be working full time by the time they are 5. If you want get the training out of the way, and maybe pick up some part-time work. I'm 36 and have left having babies late. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 10:47am
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I see no worries about starting study and if you get pregnant etc wait and see what the timing is (ie get exams etc our of way when baby due etc) OR taking leave from your courses - most institutions let you take a year off without it affecting your study - eg i took one year off from my LLB to travel, they were strict and it could only be a year but then that might work for you.
I say let nature take its course and deal with it IF and WHEN.... all the best for your decision |
Posted By: rachndean
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 12:01pm
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LIsa we were in exactly the same boat 3 years ago, trying to decide if we should put off having kids so I can sort my study/career out, or have kids then and study later. We decided that it was important for us to have kids young, than for me to figure out what I wanted to do. 3 years on we have added another 2 kidlets, so are now a family of 5 and its great!! I am planning on starting my study in semester 2 of this year and am really looking forward to it.
Sorry bit of a ramble, really wanted to point out that whetever you decide to do, you will make it work 
PS IMO cluckiness will overrule!!! 
GOOD LUCK!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
DD Savannah 18.01.04 DS Austin 04.09.08 |
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 12:08pm
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I would go baby first too (but doing some self-studying whilst pregnant).
Looking at it from the perspective of thinking that it's going to probably be easier to retain the information you learn if you finish your study, and then go straight into a working role using the skills you learn. As opposed to study, stop work to have a baby, then try and find a job iykwim? If your own instincts are telling you it's the perfect time for a baby, why not trust yourself and go with it? 
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 12:22pm
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From my point of view (at 37) you are SO young....do the baby if it feels right for No3 and then the career. Or if you think having a baby later is an option you could start the career.
I am debating No3 and the break from my career (but I am more thinking of the finances). I dont have the time that you do but if I was your age (and knew what I did now) I would say you have plenty of time and can do what ever you want and still change your mind half a dozen times. Go with your gut...not your brain. |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 12:36pm
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Id go baby first career later aswell. Thats what Im doing, I want to get into photography properly, but Im waiting until we have had our kids, so that I have the all the breastfeeding, TTing, etc days well behind me, and the kids are in school Then I can concentrate on studies better. ------------- |
Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 12:38pm
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Seeing as you already have 2 babies, I'd say add another one now. Then once they are older and more independent, start the career. That way you haven't built up a great client base only to leave them in the lurch to have a baby, you know? The further on in your career you are, the more irreplaceable you become, so it gets harder and harder to justify taking time out ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 1:06pm
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Your quite young, Id do the baby thing now and then the career, I did it the other way and and now looking to study at the same time to have another career afterwards, kinda wish id one the baby thing earlier but was missing the dada
Good luck ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 1:08pm
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Baby first, you're in baby making mode You don't want to store the stuff forever!
Its awesome you've figured out what you really want to do, can you do any part of it through a correspondance provider? I'm a mother now, but studying tiny bits of a time, during the semesters I think I can cope, through Massey. When all the kids are at primary school I'll finish off and set up a business from home. Money, and family. Both young (I'm 23). Do it, make another baby In ten years time you'll have both, but you won't ever be able to change the age gap factor -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: HuntersMama
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 1:27pm
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Baby first - you can choose when you start your study/career but babymaking doesnt always go to plan or start when you want ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 1:42pm
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Hehe , TBH reading that post I got the feeling that baby first is deep down what you would prefer.
I think go with your heart in this matter :-) ------------- 
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Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 1:53pm
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I agree to go with your heart. If it were me in your situation I'd have another baby first then sort out my career. Once you have the baby making etc out of the way you can concentrate on your career without interuptions IYKWIM.
And like Em26 said, baby making doesnt always go to plan or how you'd like it unlike studying where you can dictate when, where, how etc. It will also be a nice age gab between bubs and the girls too ------------- Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 1:55pm
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I would do both. Do your course that takes a yr, hopefully you will of finished that before baby is born. Then you can work from home when you want. At least the course will be done & you will know what direction you want to go in.
I don't think not doing something in anticipation of having kids work. I had babies did courses & worked part time. I guess it depends on what you want & can handle. You obviously feel ready for another baby, so do what makes you happy as you say age is not an issue
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Posted By: Joscia
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 2:22pm
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I agree with the others - do the baby first. (Seems like it's fairly unanimous! ) Although I also reckon you should plan on starting your course as well - depending on what stage you're at with TTC / being pregnant - you could well be able to 'have it all'! ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 3:13pm
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Baby First!!! :D
Not that I have any plans of studying anytime soon, I figured that while I was already home with Keira we might as well finish making babies and than when they are a bit older I can study and do what ever I feel like knowing that I am not going have to stop and do the whole baby thing later on. You are still young so have plenty of time! ------------- 
 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 3:36pm
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i havent read all replies...but if i were you i would do baby now.. and career after.. while you still have that boundless energy you have and those gorgeous girls are still young...otherwise might be hard to stop to have another bub and there will be twin 5year olds wanting your attention as well.. but you can always study with a baby but maybe not with twins and a baby:)! though you are pretty good at multitasking:)!
ps- Liam cant wait to meet them:)! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 4:19pm
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I would finish having a family before embarking on further study and a career. Having three under five will be busy and there probably won't be much time for study until at least your twins are at school.
Also if you start working on your career now you will end up with breaks and at the speed technology changes this won't do you any favours if you want to get into website development. Juggling it all is difficult but possible. You will be able to focus on your kids then your studies and career much easier if you segment them a little bit. And like you said, at your age you aren't under any great time pressure. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 5:39pm
I think you answered your own question
A few good points have been raised. Firstly, you can start studying while preggy and get practise in developing some smaller websites while at home with your babies. And technology does change so quickly it would be good not taking a break later on. Best of luck with your decision  ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
lisa85 wrote:Posted By: RinTinTin
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 6:51pm
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*chants* Baby, baby, baby Careers will always be there for the taking but very rarely will the "right" moment come along to have a bubba. Plus you can always study via correspondence (if it's possible...or your thing). ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 7:31pm
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Baby, I studied when I was pregnant and it was fine, a bit tiring but managable. I have decided that with the career I want I am leaving the studying till a lot later when my boys are a lot older so I can concentrate on that when they are older. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 8:05pm
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Baby here too - that's what we did, although I studied while pg and graduated 2 weeks before Jack was born.
I was always worried about if I went and started my career, maybe I'd get too involved in it and wouldn't want to take another break to have another child, so I stayed at home an extra year and had Ava. |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 10:15pm
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Baby then career....or study while you have a baby, if you can do it extramurally.
It is definitely possible - I studied all last year (7 papers) including 3 papers just after having the girls. My tutors were very supportive though, and gave me extra time to complete assignments etc in the 4 1/2 weeks I was up at the hospital with the girls. I did another 2 papers over summer school, and I'm doing 3 papers this semester and 3 next semester - all extramural. By the time I finish my degree, the girls will be 3 years old and we will have hopefully had another by then, and I can put it into practice part-time. |
Posted By: lovingmummyhood
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 10:19pm
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Baby all the way!!
And OMG Minik8e - you're a legend ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 10:23pm
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Baby here and I agree with minik8e.
Now that the twins are nearly one I decided to do some study and my aim is to have a degree by the time the boys are five and are going to school but as I'm doing it part time it might well take longer than the five years ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Alex 6 and Harry 8 |
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 05 March 2010 at 10:25pm
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Tricky situation but you seem to have a fair idea of what you want. I'm in my 3rd year of full time study (next year being my last..fingers crossed), am 25...and wonder about having another baby...have done so for the past 2 years..and thought about the baby, study balance. Ideally I'd like to be pregnant this time next year...and due Nov/Dec...as my studies will be finished by then and I can take a few months off before starting as a New Grad. If you want to study now and let a new baby happen..when it happens..there are definitely ways of doing both. ------------- 
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Posted By: bext1
Date Posted: 06 March 2010 at 12:32pm
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Hey Lisa
I think baby is the way to go. Because at the end of the day, it would be harder I think to start the study with a small baby, rather than start the study whilst pregnant? Plus, like others have said, the age gap between the girls and baby would be good, if you left it longer, then the gap gets bigger, and I think the dynamics between the kids change. ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Twinboys2b
Date Posted: 06 March 2010 at 7:42pm
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Hi Lisa, as others have said your heart says baby, you have the savings and the cravings so why not while you can. You never know what your body will do in a few years (even though you have youth on your side). Go for babies and then you can put all your effort into study/career when you're ready again.
Also, by having a baby it doesn't mean you can't learn as much as you can or study part-time if you have the energy. We had the same predicament (spel?) but chose Career as the opportunity was too good to turn down and we needed something to make us money than start eating into our savings by having another baby. I have to say my cravings for having another one has died down (a bit) now as I have something to sink my teeth into and am so pleased with our choice. ------------- 3yr old gorgeous ID twin boys. |
Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 06 March 2010 at 11:24pm
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I haven't read anyones replies, and have quickly read your post and my immediate response is "baby", judging from your post
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Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 5:20pm
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Wow thats a huge amount of people saying baby! It's funny I haven't been back to check the posts for a couple of days and in that time I decided to go with study first then baby but now I've read all this I'm back to being undecided lol!
No I think I am going to go study first and I'll put off another baby for maybe 2 years. I guess I'm scared that having 3 young kids will put me off study. I know how hard it's going to be juggling 2 toddlers and a year of study but to add a pregnancy or baby on top of that would be too much! I really do want the baby now but after careful consideration I think my need for another baby is feeling a little selfish I think the best thing for me to do is concentrate on the girls and make sure their future is a brighter one. Then when once I have got my business up and running I'll start thinking about a baby again. Who knows maybe I'll change my mind a week from now haha. -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 8:32pm
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lol, well least you made your decision on our own, and not influenced by the posts. The time will fly by. Honestly this time last year I was cringing at the thought of waiting 2 years to start trying, but now it's only just around the corner...albeit a year long corner! lol. -------------
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