depression back...
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=3215
Printed Date: 06 September 2025 at 5:13am
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Topic: depression back...
Posted By: Tastic
Subject: depression back...
Date Posted: 21 July 2006 at 6:31am
Can anyone help me? At this stage Im thinking NO! Ive had enough of everything! Bailey is being a little brat and when hes around (most but not all) I wish he wasnt and then when hes not around I wish he was! Im a bad mum 
Ive had had these feelings that everyone has something against me for a while now, and someone at mothers group did something one week when I wasnt there (I suggusted we do something for our friend and she told the mothers group even though I said I wanted to as it was my idea!) anyway she told the a couple of weeks agao... I only found out on wednesday when one of the other mothers said something! Grr I am/was so angry! If someone said they want to say something why do people take it upon themself to do it first? I HATE IT with a passion! sorry for the rant am just having a bad morning Trish (Tarsh please dont say anything, I txt'd her but ahve no reply so I guess shes angry at me for being grumpy at her!) |
Replies:
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 21 July 2006 at 8:32am
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WHOA, slow down, take a minute and breathe. I'm guessing not only is Bailey getting that really "interesting" age where he has decided he can be a grott, but you are also at about 8 weeks preggers - which means you are more hormonal, probably extremely exhausted and nauseated as well. To add that on top of everything you have already been through with the PND last time - and it all just gets too much!
First things first - you are IN NO WAY a bad mum, you are a NORMAL mum, it is normal to feel like that especially given the circumstances. And as for the lady through the mothers group, that is not a fair thing to do and she is probably the type of person who likes to steal others ideas and take the credit. casually mention next time it comes up that "oh, yeah i told her i wanted to do that a while ago, dunno why she chose to tell you all when i wasn't here" It can be easy to feel like everyone's against you when really it can be that one horrible person that makes you doubt yourself. I went through the same when i was preg with Ayja at about 9 weeks preg, i was so exhausted and the M/S had well and truely kicked in, as well as a whole bucket-load of hormones - i had to pull out of my clinical placement cos my lecturer got there about an hour into the first shift to talk to me and i just burst into tears and couldn't even name a reason, and i couldn't stop - i got the 3 week placement time off and that helped a heap - but was still a complete blubbering grumpy tired mess for quite a while. Big hugs to you, i hope things get better. Just take it one day at a time. Things do get better - you know that. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 21 July 2006 at 8:55am
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I went through a similar thing for about 4 weeks or so early in this pregnancy when I just wanted to curl up on my bed and cry, I think it was around 10 - 14 weeks or so - only I didnt have the energy to cry so would juts lie there staring at the ceiling wanting to cry... it was really horrible, I remember thinking "this cant be normal" - and DH who happened to be the one that was around me most of the time just irritated the hell out of me and I was just snapping at him the whole time... it is probably the same with you and Baily cos he is around so much, it's not him and it's not you, it's just hormones and fatigue...
Good luck, I know when I am havin one of those days there is nothign anyone can say to help but I hope you feel better soon... ps: I dont think you are a terrible mum, I think you are a normal mum!  ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 21 July 2006 at 8:56am
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I don't know if this helps at all... but I quite often can't stand Hannah. Most of the time it's mutual. I'm pretty sure it's normal!!!
Lots of hugs! Can't be easy being preggo and have a babe at the same time! You are doing so well Trish 
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 21 July 2006 at 10:04am
Oh Trish....
I agree with Janine as to why you might be feeling like this.....and I also agree that you are not a bad mum. Remember you have loads on your plate now....a nearly 1 year old, pregnancy and the day to day stuff. And the mothers group thing is not helping either. Take it easy, relax, have a long warm bath, a cuppa chocolate and a girly funny DVD. We are here for you hun!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: emeldee
Date Posted: 21 July 2006 at 10:22am
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Hey Trish,
*Big Cyber Hugs* (the nice ones, not the dodgy sort that you get accidentally when you search for something in google with the safe search mode off). Janine is absolutely right. You're NOT A BAD MUM - in fact, you're a good mum that is brave enough to stand up and say that you're not feeling brilliant at the moment. My wee toddle-terror Andrew is a couple of months older than Bailey but his adventuring hit in around the 10 to 11 month mark - just at the height of my hormonal ikkiness first trimester and it was HARD. The demands of just being awake when he was made life tough and the added demands of chasing after him, making sure he was changed and fed and having to carry him everywhere took a toll and I thought I wasn't going to make it. All I can suggest is that you focus on the essentials and leave the big stuff at the moment. Work out the bare necessities of what you need to do for Bailey and yourself over the next few weeks. Try and get fresh air and make it outside where possible. See if you can catch an hour or two in the real world away from him each week and MOST importantly, if you feel the depression has come back, talk to your doctor/LMC and get support. I stumbled across another message board with pregnant mums who were also looking after toddlers and it made me feel a LOT better. They all talked about being tired, miserable and feeling guilty for not being supermums to their toddlers because they felt so ikky. So, don’t worry, Bailey won’t remember in 10 years time (or 10 minutes if he is like Andrew) that you were sad or that he had to watch the Wiggles three hours in a row while you sat on the couch with a magazine. Take care and keep in touch. ------------- |
Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 21 July 2006 at 11:20am
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I got to say - I take my hat off to you mums who are preg with little ones to take care of - I imagine it would be a real drain! ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com">
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