Should I feel bad?
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32165
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Topic: Should I feel bad?
Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Subject: Should I feel bad?
Date Posted: 09 March 2010 at 1:59pm
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Before I got pregnant I had started a dance class. I live for dance it makes me happy always has. Now my dance teacher is teaching at Auck Uni doing day and night classes and this term they have been subsidised by Auck Uni so $78 as opposed to $120 sometimes $150. I asked DP if I could go I have a babysitter for the Thurs day and he said if you want. I asked if I could go on Mon when he is home and he said whatever do what you want. I feel like he doesn't want to nevermind the fact that he takes off all the time and leaves me with DD. I know I'm not bringing in an income atm and he is stressed about money because he is not happy at his job and we're meant to be saving for our wedding and to go to Samoa for his grandads unveiling plus travel down the line at some point to go spread my nanas ashes and visit a few family members graves. I get that money is tight but I've told him that I want to do something for myself. I'm not going to be spending money on care as my nephews mum can look after her on Thurs and so can sil's sister it would be travelling from howick to Auck City and parking that wold be the expense. I feel like he doesn't want me to. Mind you this has all been done by txt so will wait to talk to him when he gets home and hope that there's positions left. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 09 March 2010 at 2:11pm
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i think you are over analysing - he said yes, go ahead and do it! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 09 March 2010 at 2:12pm
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Are you reading too much into his "do whatever you want" txts? Perhaps he really does mean do whatever YOU want. Specially if you've already talked about doing something for yourself?
If you want to save $$ then organise it when DP is home so you don't have to pay for a babysitter 
I always find stuff like this works out better (for us) if I organise it then tell DH what he needs to do. Rather than involving him in every step of the decision making IYGWIM. ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 09 March 2010 at 2:17pm
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No, you shouldn't feel bad. Remember you are working too, just not getting paid for it
But definitly have a good honest talk to him about it (if he's like my man he won't be honest about his feelings unless you force him to). That's tough that he doesn't like his job at all, hopefully he can find a better one soon. -------------   
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Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 09 March 2010 at 2:22pm
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hmm text is not an easy way to have a conversation, lol.
If you want to go, & have the money & a sitter then go. Maybe you need to both sit down & do a budget so you can do all the things you are planning. & just because you are not working & bringing in an income, does not mean you are not working for your family. Work out the cost of working with care etc....you maybe saving money, lol. Go dance I say 
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 09 March 2010 at 2:39pm
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Probably over-analysing it, like Bizzy said. My DH is one for saying things like that when he actually means 'yes, go for it' but guys don't word things the way we would like them, as they don't tend to analyse every little bit like we do.
So yeah I would say go for it, if he thought it was an issue, he would have said so. And if he ever brings it up, you can bring up the fact that he said you could.
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Posted By: HoneybunsMa
Date Posted: 09 March 2010 at 4:37pm
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mmm I probably am over analyzing it. About three months ago we talked about it and he said sweet but I had to join a gym I have to get the money off him somehow thats going to be the hard part The babysitter thing isn't an issue if I do Thurs class then bros ex has said she'd have her while I was away as then the two cousins can play together although DD tends to beat him up she's mobile he's not. If I go on Monday then he doesn't work Mondays as its his RDO and therefore he can spend daddy daughter time. I wonder if its because I told him this morning mum agreed that he should just quit his job since he doesn't want to do it and we're living at their place so no bills technically ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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I hate gyms! I've had memberships before but NEVER go. 
damn all his pay going into his account haha. 