Dumped by Midwife
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Topic: Dumped by Midwife
Posted By: sunnyhoney
Subject: Dumped by Midwife
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 11:42am
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What do I do now!!!
I'm six weeks off my due date and MW can't look after me coz her mum broke her hip. I am so overwhelmed and depressed by this. ------------- Mum to: Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz |
Replies:
Posted By: MindyW
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 11:46am
Crap! What about her relief midwife? can she do it? Or can she refer you to someone? Maybe hospital midwife team? Good luck! Last thing you need now with 6 weeks to go is this added stress ------------- My Beautiful Little Emily http://lilypie.com"> 
We've Waited for You Forever! |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 11:48am
| Yeah I was thinking try the backup. Failing that ring around and explain the situation to other MWs and see if anyone is willing to take you on. |
Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 11:50am
 Wow that sucks! The only thing I can suggest, if she doesn't have a back up, is to trot you, your hubby/partner, adn your medical notes off to the local hospital where you are wanting to birth, and meet one of their in house midwive's to try and form a quick wee relationship. I'm sure they will be more then willing to help given the circumstances!! -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: sunnyhoney
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 11:54am
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She has no backup.
She has given me names of two midwives tho so will have to pluck up some courage to call them and hope they have space for me. Just so not what I needed right now.  ------------- Mum to: Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz |
Posted By: littlestar
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 11:55am
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OMG - thats dreadful!! I think its disgusting she hasn't even arranged a replacement for you.
You could try ringing around some other MWs and see if there is one that can fit you in but you will always be able to use the hospital MWs - just not quite what you had planned. Or maybe pop in and see birthcare... HUGS ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 11:56am
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i would think that she would be obligated to find you an alternative though. and i dont see how a broken hip would affect that much. they operate on them asap and get the patients up walking the day after the surgery. i think there is something else going on here.
If she doesnt pass you on to someone else or her relief cant take you then i would complain. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Red
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 11:58am
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Even if you can't get an independant one- you should always be able to get one at the hospital. Good Luck! How stressful for you. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: sunnyhoney
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 11:59am
I can't help but think that too but then maybe my state of mind atm ------------- Mum to: Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz |
Bizzy wrote:Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 12:06pm
That is so bad that she hasn't organised a replacement. I would absolutely 100% be laying a complaint.  Ring around hun and yeah I think something else is going on.... -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 12:07pm
ooops then i probably didnt help. sorry! Has she refered you on or said she will? If not i would complain ... and also contact the hospital - they will take you on. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 12:10pm
| Have you or your DH got the guts to kinda have a go at her? Thinking about it more it just seems more and more rediculous that shes done this. If your not in a great state of mind how about getting DH to ring her or see her and say that it should be her responsibility to find alternatives for her clients |
Posted By: MindyW
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 12:15pm
Depending on her mums age and social situation ie does she live alone etc, broken hips can take weeks/months to recover from depending on the health of a person and how bad the break was and when the pt was able to get into surgery- sometimes can take a few days as more acute cases take priority. There are so many things that go into a broken hip, and some people physically cant stand let alone walk the next day. Trust me- this is what I do as a job the rehab process can certainly be lengthy. I wouldnt go down the "is it something I did" path as it most likely has nothing to do with you.
I am really surprised that she doesnt have a backup
Editted for spelling ------------- My Beautiful Little Emily http://lilypie.com">
We've Waited for You Forever! |
Posted By: sunnyhoney
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 12:16pm
She has pretty much left it to me and said "keep in touch" 
------------- Mum to: Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz |
Posted By: MindyW
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 12:31pm
Her handling of the sitution would def have made me angry as well! I would ring around midwives and explain what has happened, purely because I dont think yelling at her would make much difference and you may feel better to begin with but I dont think it will change anything ------------- My Beautiful Little Emily http://lilypie.com">
We've Waited for You Forever! |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 12:41pm
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that isnt good enough sunnyhunny - name and shame! so all can be aware of her unprofessionalism.
Does she work for a practice? if so then maybe you could contact someone else there and let them know what she has done. They must surely be able to help you out...and what of all her other patients? ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: sunnyhoney
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 12:55pm
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No she is an independant MW.
All her other clients have already been handed on a few weeks back because she was going to stop being a midwife and get a job at the hospital. However, she told me profusely that she would be keeping me and continuing my care. This is what makes me think something else is going on, like it is too much for her (workload) or some other thing. Anyways, as much as me and DH are off about it, I just don't want to deal with her anymore. Even if her reason is legit I think she has handled it really badly.
Have just heard back from Birthcare midwives and they may be able to take me on...so some good news at least. ------------- Mum to: Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz |
Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 1:59pm
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Well thats good news about Birthcare at least. I agree with everyone else though - its pretty shocking esp 6 weeks out. I would def be laying a complaint - its not good enough for her just to wash her hands of you. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Red
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 2:50pm
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I know it is not going to help you now - but maybe let the Midwifery Council know, cos the more I think about it as well, it just seems wrong. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: M2K
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 3:55pm
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Wow thats awful! Hope you find another, a better one, I had a backup mw at my birth and I found her bit $hitty at being there!! However the hospital mw was so lovely! ------------- 
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Posted By: JoJames
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 9:42pm
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Mine did that at 33 weeks with my first, she went on holiday for 4 weeks over my due date, and she said that my MW would be whoever was on call at the time (in a practice with 4 MW) so not cool and I was pretty hormonal at the time.
Anyway what I learnt is that the group practices usually will have lists of MW and whether or not they have room for more ladies in your due date month cause they lose ladies due to moving, MC, or prem babies, so if you don't have any luck just ring around the practices and see. I actually found the MW I ended up with was amazing and I have her this time. Good luck and H&H rest of your pregnancy ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: mybeautiful3
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 10:14pm
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This is so sad to hear :( You build up a relationship with your carer & look forward to the exciting day of baby's birth & then to have the relationship severed-you are rightfully fustrated!!!! I am a Doula-in-training & the importance of continuity of a trusting & caring support team during your pg & birth is so very vital!
I do hope you find some who is truly wonderful & caring from Birthcare who will look after you for the rest of this special pg journey & be an incredible support to you when you birth your baby! ------------- Just  my job as a Birth Doula!
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 10 March 2010 at 11:18pm
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I am horrified!! I think it warrants a complaint as well!!
I have been passed on in both my pregnancies. Both very legitimate reasons! IN both cases I was given a back up & even though I hadn't established a great relationship as I was 4 weeks out with Alia, I still had the support of the whole office & one main person assigned to me. When I was given a back up they arranged my next appointment with them & made sure they were up to speed with how I was & where I was in my preg. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: Zaylah
Date Posted: 11 March 2010 at 5:41am
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Just lots of s for you! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: RinTinTin
Date Posted: 11 March 2010 at 3:18pm
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Um, don't know if anyone has said this yet, but you would have signed a contract with your MW at the beginning that is in essence an agreement to care for you. Part of this agreement is that if she can no longer look after you it is her duty to find someone who can look after you. So although that fact doesn't really help your situation, I think you should consider laying a complaint as this is out of order on her part IMO and she has broken the terms of the agreement. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 11 March 2010 at 8:23pm
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I personally think that's disgusting, if she told you that she was keeping you on as her only client, how could it possibly be such a hassle to keep you going until at least the birth!
I would definitely lay a complaint, it's not up to you to find a replacement, that's her job and she gets paid to make sure there is a backup for emergencies etc. |
Posted By: sunnyhoney
Date Posted: 12 March 2010 at 11:23am
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She has contacted me this morning via txt asking how I am getting on...I haven't replied yet...don't know what to say to her (would rather just ignore her as I feel so let down by her actions)....
Ladies, would there be much point in laying a complaint when she technically isn't a midwife anymore?? ------------- Mum to: Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz |
Posted By: bubalys
Date Posted: 12 March 2010 at 11:34am
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Oh thats terrible, Have you found someone new? If not I have two numbers (am in similar area to you) of some lovely midwifes.
let me know and i'l get them to you asap |
Posted By: sunnyhoney
Date Posted: 12 March 2010 at 11:36am
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Thanks bubalys, I'll keep you in mind. ------------- Mum to: Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz |
Posted By: MindyW
Date Posted: 12 March 2010 at 12:47pm
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I'd text her back saying how disappointed and hurt you are by her actions. She will still be a midwife though wont she? just not practising at this stage... I personally wouldnt complain- but thats just me, you need to do what you feel is right. The others are right she has been unprofessional but due to unplanned circumstances- she should never have said that she will keep you on as the only client if there was a possibility of not being able to see that through! Though maybe her mum's health condition had deteriorated or changed negatively.....
Sorry i think I'm playing devils advocate.... Basically I think you need to do what your gut is telling you, but I do think you need to tell her that she has badly let you down------------- My Beautiful Little Emily http://lilypie.com">
We've Waited for You Forever! |
Posted By: littlestar
Date Posted: 12 March 2010 at 2:12pm
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Hmmm - If it were me I'd want to say that I was upset and disappointed at her actions - I mean you've been left with no LMC only a few weeks out from birth.
We're all thinking of you during what must be a hugely stressful time! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 12 March 2010 at 2:52pm
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I would complain - regardless of her reasons for not being able to be your midwife anymore, she has a DUTY to you to find you a new one or give you as much support as needed to find one and feel comfortable. I mean, god, wouldn't most normal people do that, let alone a person who is in a profession that requires so much empathy?!
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Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 12 March 2010 at 4:07pm
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Gosh, I only worked retail before having Hannah, but I made sure I spent time calling my clients and letting them know I was leaving and inviting them to come in and meet the other staff members for future business.
It's just courtesy! *hugs* I hope you can find someone soon. ------------- 
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 12 March 2010 at 7:58pm
Totally worth laying a complaint. Absolutely 100%. This is unprofessional behaviour- the issue isn't just that she's dumped you at this last stage and broken her contract...it's that she hasn't made sure she has a back up for you . It is NOT your job to find a replacement (altho obviously you are now going to have to). ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: kmarie
Date Posted: 13 March 2010 at 2:22pm
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Aw you poor thing, that seems really unfair! Granted we don't know the full story and her reasons are legit, but I totally agree that she hasn't dealt with it in a particularly professional way. I think to be fair to both of you, you at least need to let her know how upset you are about it all (even a reply to the text something along the lines of 'not so great actually, feeling quite stressed about finding a replacement midwife so late in my pregnancy. Thanks for asking tho.')
Hugs hun, let us know how you go with finding someone new x ------------- 
twins in heaven Oct07 Is 40:11 "He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart." |
Posted By: sunnyhoney
Date Posted: 13 March 2010 at 10:46pm
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That's probably a good way of wording it, thanks Kmarie ------------- Mum to: Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz |