Pregnancy Blues?
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32242
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Topic: Pregnancy Blues?
Posted By: sem
Subject: Pregnancy Blues?
Date Posted: 13 March 2010 at 4:45pm
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I'm just over 6 weeks pregnant with baby number one and feel horrible.
It's only been a bit over a week that I have been feeling constant nausea all day and have vomitted yesterday and the day before. Not bad considering how others get along but it's doing my head in. I don't generally get sick or have bad period pains, I also don't like other people fussing over me. My colleague didn;t allow me to lift a chair the other day! I miss being able to enjoy food and being out and about doing stuff. All my seedlings died because I haven't even bothered to water my garden over the past few weeks 
If pregnancy is such natural normal/natural thing why does your body rebel it so much? I am so unmotivated, tired and have no engergy to do anything anymore. If I could I'd sleep all day long - I don't feel sick when asleep so thats probably why. Have not done any washing or cooking for ages. I have not made love to my husband for over 4 weeks now. I'm lucky enough to have a job where I can be very flexible but if I continue to do what I have done over the last couple of weeks (= hardly anything) it will come back and bite me. I've feel terrible for feeling this way as I remember reading some posts while TTC about woman who hate pregnancy and I just could not understand where they are coming from when I wanted it sooo much. I really don't like saying it now but I do hate this too. I can't believe I'm thining this way as so many of the loveley ladies from the TTC thread are loning to get there, especially the ladies who are and have been trying for number one for such a long time. I've been feeling very sorry for myself for the past few days and have started to question why I want children in the first place. It really is not a nice place to be in and I know I shouldn't even go there. Is or has anybody else felt like this while pregnant or am I going to be the worst mum ever if already I am being so selfish? ------------- Here we go again, another baby on it's way! 
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Replies:
Posted By: LionessNZ
Date Posted: 13 March 2010 at 5:27pm
I had a really bad patch about the same time as you are at susyl. I had bad morning sickness and had to have 6 weeks straight off a job that I had only been at for a few month. A lot of what was going through my head at the time was similar to you, along with stupid baby whats the point etc etc. I managed to work myself into such a state. This is our first baby and I found myself wondering if I really wanted kids in the first place and if it was this bad now then how would I cope at other stages. Long story short I'm noww 36 weeks and can't wait for my little girl to arrive. Things do get easier, but a mind shift and good support are crucial as well. I know its easier said than done, but reminding yourself its just for a short period of time can help too. Good luck. 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 13 March 2010 at 5:49pm
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I'm one of those women that hates pregnancy. I hate it with a passion.
Prior to Daniel I had not thrown up since I was a little kid and while I was pregnant with him I went through approx 12 weeks of throwing up every day. With Jared I had that for 14 weeks. And with both I had nausea either side of that. I've worked my ass off loosing weight only to be knackered and not wanna exercise much. Its really hard work to get my ass moving. DH doesn't get sex when I'm preggers either. I can't imagine doing that with nausea 
My post isn't helpful but it does let you know you aren't alone. I love Daniel like crazy now even though I hated pregnancy with a vengence. I actually don't mind the labour etc but I wish I could do that without having months of feeling like crap |
Posted By: squoggs
Date Posted: 13 March 2010 at 6:11pm
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I was exactly the same at 6 weeks :-( Hated being sick, tired, bloated, moody, confused....and told hubby it was his own fault he wasn't getting any sex, look where the last time had got me!
My pregnancy was planned, but as soon as I found out I was PG, I was a mess - I had no energy to exercise & couldn't work due to constant vomiting & nausea. I spent the first 3 months wondering why on earth would anyone want to be PG???!! Couldn't work for several months afterwards either due to the MS, but the emotional stuff calmed down after a couple of weeks. I found when i hit about 4-4.5mnths, I turned a corner and started to enjoy being PG :-). So i think what you are saying & feeling is pretty normal, but it does get better
------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Lucky apple
Date Posted: 13 March 2010 at 7:12pm
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Me too! I honestly honestly wondered how anyone could do this more than once. It was horrid. But it has definitely gotten much much much better - and that is despite still being sick most days.
Don't beat yourself up for feeling down...it is normal to experience a range of emotions right throughout pregnancy. You WILL get through this rough patch! |
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 13 March 2010 at 8:39pm
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Its perfectly normal hun... pregnancy sucks! That does not mean you are not happy to be pregnant though!!!!
There is so much pressure to enjoy pregnancy as it such a beautiful thing... It might be beautiful but man do I feel ugly! Dont be hard on yourself, if you dont enjoy it.. so what? You wont love your child any more or less for it. Pregnancy hormones are also a biarch and make things 100 times worse than they are!!!! For most women once you get past the first trimester you get a new lease on life and will be able to start doing the things you enjoy.. before you get to big and tired in the last trimester. My seedlings died too.... the one time the rain disappears from Auckland.... -------------   
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Posted By: SophieD
Date Posted: 14 March 2010 at 9:22am
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ohh I know how you feel too!
It was just yesterday that I said to DH that I thought I would love being pregnant but actually I dont really like it at the mo! I must admit the ms is starting to fade (I think!) so I am feeling better but it just feels like everything I want food wise I cant eat, I want to be out at BBQ's with my friends but I'm tired of feeling sick and pretending not to and by 9:30 I feel like the party pooper cos I wanna go home! I have so much to do and not one ounce of energy. I am hoping the turning point is soon! haha - DH just asked if I had written that it sucks too that he has no idea how I feel right now....I think I may have said that a few times int he last few days  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 14 March 2010 at 10:18am
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first of all , you need to stop feeling guitly , you can't help how you feel and as lovely as it is of you to feel guilty cos of the TTC girls, im sure they don't expect you to love every second of pregnancy , I don't think anyone will .
I don't know many people who love being pregnant , its an ass of a time, heartburn , nausea, achy joints, feeling like a big fat whale , yeah , thats my idea of a fun time . Will it make you a bad mum ? no, pregnancy is only 9months of your child's life, (a long 9 months , but only 9months none the less ) Its not the child you are disliking , its the pregnancy , your baby isn't going to pick up on anything and think you don't like him or her , I hated pregnancy both times and my kids love me ! ------------- 
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Posted By: RinTinTin
Date Posted: 14 March 2010 at 12:02pm
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I'm with Kelly, stop feeling guilty. It's ok to feel like snot! I had horrible morning sickness from 6 weeks to 14 weeks and I hated every moment of every day for it. Then oneday...it just stopped. And from then, right until the day I gave birth, I enjoyed my pregnancy (except for a few moments of frustration, etc). Just try to remember that everything your body is doing IS normal and it won't last forever. Somewhere along the line, it WILL stop. And I tell ya, I had some horrible sh*t go down during my pregnancy with the babies father and I and Mac is no worse for wear for it and he is neither hateful or stand-offish towards me or his Dad. He loves us both very much (either that or his smile is just his way of laughing AT us  ) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: 0mrs0ana0
Date Posted: 14 March 2010 at 5:59pm
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God I feel the exact same way!!
I too feel guilty for the people that I know that are so desperate TC, when we didn't even try! 1st month I came off the pill, whamo! I'm hating it, I feel like arse and DH keeps commenting on how negative I've become and I don't even have MS! I'm just tired and cranky all the time! I'm employed part-time and normally home in the afternoon, I sleep most afternoons because I have no energy! I was reasonably fit before PG, although still o/weight, but now I can't do anything! My weight hasn't changed but I'm porkier than before. I can't wait for the 1st trimester to be over and apparently I'll start to feel human again. I was considering contacting Psych services I'm feeling so down, need to talk to someone. I'm glad that it's not just me, but when does it ever get better? I was thinking today, before we got PG I had always wanted 3 kids, but I don't know if I could do this again?! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 May 2012
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 14 March 2010 at 6:48pm
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mrs ana, if your needing to sleep every afternoon it may pay to get your bloods done, check for iron and b12, its normal to be tired but if you are low in either of those you will feel it even more and it will make you more cranky. i know it does that with me. im gonna be having b12 shots right throughout pregnancy cause my levels get really low and its like a caffine hit in many ways. as soon as ive had it i feel instant energy and tiredness lift within a few hours.
But for me it gets better after 20w, i generally feel like poo until then as my ms tends not to ease off until well into the 2nd tri and then my tummy finally feels normalish about then so i dont feel so rotten at the world. |
Posted By: sem
Date Posted: 14 March 2010 at 7:26pm
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I will make an appointment with my GP tomorrow I think. I've been in bed all day long, asleep most of the time. Had a cup of peppermint tea in the morning which came straight back up and since then had an apple, two musli bars and half a tin of mandarines in juice. ------------- Here we go again, another baby on it's way!
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Posted By: 0mrs0ana0
Date Posted: 14 March 2010 at 9:00pm
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Susy - you poor thing! I shouldn't really complain, I don't have any MS. The GP should be able to prescribe some anti-nausea meds, maybe you have some sports drinks in the house also to keep your fluids up?
Stacey - I've had low B12 + Iron in the past, I had my levels checked about a month ago, GP said they were fine... might have to check them again. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
May 2012
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Posted By: troutpout
Date Posted: 14 March 2010 at 10:01pm
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Don't feel bad hun! I felt like utter crap for first 10 weeks, especially between 6 and 8 weeks. This is our first bubs, and I've got to say pregnancy hasn't been the joyous experience I was hoping for!! MS, then getting fat and heartburn, back ache etc. I can't wait for it to be over, but mostly because I know in about 6 weeks I get to meet our beautiful little girl, and the 9 months will have been so worth it! Plus I get to have a BIG glass of wine ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 8:28am
I had mine checked with Jared and they were good for me and a week later they were both below 10  . So I'm keeping an eye on my tiredness this time. I'm lucky in that I've got some b12 jabs with me so I can just go along and get the nurse to jab me lol
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Posted By: hannibal
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 12:23pm
| It will get better! I was almost 12 weeks before I found out - I was tired, had nausea but I put it down to me doing sureslim and the changes (a negative test put me of considering I was pregant). It will be well worth it all at the end! |
Posted By: babybrain
Date Posted: 22 March 2010 at 1:57pm
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Hey SUsy,
Honey, I can relate! I felt EXACTLY the same way... everyday for ages. I had MS everyday, all day and night and I felt so depressed... and even said I couldnt do this anymore (meaning the pregnancy) . I felt really guilty about how i felt but by reading other forums I realised I wasnt a bad person and that other women felt this way. Let me give you hope though.. and I thought back then, I would never feel this way,. but once you see that baby in a scan it makes it ALL worth while... you realise the nausea, depression is all part of it... and tis ok not to like the nausea etc but that doesnt mean you dont want the baby. I had MS until 16weeks.. slowly after that it got less and less... every second day... now i have 2 good days, one not so good. Its mainly just exhaustion now rather than the nausea. Ask your doc about metaclopramide... it changed my world... meant I could get out of the house and it just about compeltely took away my nausea. You are not alone, accept all feelings etc that come your way and when you feel disgrunteled about the sickness go online and look at ultrasounds of what your baby might look like at that particular stage... it really helped me realise that I was sick for a reason. hang in there... its all part of the ride! I am 23 weeks now and for the past 5 weeks life is GOOD!!! i feel good, my modd is fantastic. I still have off days each week but jus tknow to go with it and the next day will be good! xxxx |
Posted By: babybrain
Date Posted: 22 March 2010 at 2:05pm
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Oh and everyday I would get up, try breakfast, if that went well i woudl walk the dog and honestly woudl feel like going back to bed.. sometimes would!
Definitely had a nap every afternoon if I wasnt working... could have slept all day, every day... xx |
Posted By: MyLilSquishy
Date Posted: 22 March 2010 at 4:20pm
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just remember hun, that you can hate BEING pregnant, but can love what pregnancy is going to do (give you your first child) it took me a long time to stop hating being pregnant, i had intense MS until almost 30 weeks, was lethargic and could barely do my job (and i was in water). but i remember thinking about how it wasnt long before we would get to meet our son, and somehow it go me through it. now ive got the nighttime feeds (which i hate) the nappy-filling the moment you put a clean one on (which i hate) the cracked nipples (which i hate) but would go through it all again in a heartbeat for our son.
you are more than welcome to hate the situation and there are alot of people who do... just remember who you are going through this for, yourself, your OH and your child
FXd it gets better for you! |
Posted By: 0mrs0ana0
Date Posted: 22 March 2010 at 11:23pm
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^^ I totally get what you're saying Kahlia, that we're allowed to hate... why do I get guilt tripped for it?
I've been told to stop being so negative as it will effect baby's health! God, I'm not drinking / smoking / take drugs but I'm not allowed to feel a little s**t from time to time? Not having a go at you, just when I'm honest with people and say, actually I'm not doing that well, some days I just want to cry and I just feel awful, they tell me how awful I'm being like I'm the Wicked Witch of the West! 
/rant over!/ ------------- http://lilypie.com">
May 2012
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Posted By: LionessNZ
Date Posted: 23 March 2010 at 1:31am
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Mrs Ana a lot of people get on their high horse when they aren't currently going through the situation. In reality if we followed every rule that is prescribed to pregnant women there would be very little we would be allowed to do or eat and we would have be be happy smiley people all the time - its ridiculous. The reality is we are all human and that means that we can't be perfect all the time. Also, there is so much research out there on what we should and shouldn't do and a lot of it contradicts each other. All we can really do is what works for us at the time and (excuse the expression) to hell with those who try to make life difficult. Each person is different, do what works for you. The sad thing is that in reality for a lot of people pregnancy is a negative time, it doesn't mean that you don't want whats best for your baby or that you will be a bad mother. In reality a huge number of pregnant women get depression and when you consider the life changes and lack of emotional support around it, its no wonder. There is a lot of publicity about PND but not much about the antenatal version.
Sorry guys if this has turned into a bit of a rant, its something I feel strongly about. Pregnant women (as you obviously all know ) do whats best for them and their children, there is no point making pariahs out of them when a little support can go such a long way.
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 23 March 2010 at 7:44am
Mrs Ana.....I freely admit that I disliked pregnancy intensely, and I was the same about it while I WAS pregnant. Let me assure you, my girls are the most happy, contented little girls who have suffered absolutely no ill effects from my dislike of the pregnancy! Just because I hated pregnancy, doesn't mean I hated them...in fact I even plan to do it all over again next year maybe!! I'll still hate pregnancy then too 
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Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 23 March 2010 at 12:36pm
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I am another one who is struggling with pregnancy and being pregnant, and like you don't understand it, especially when it was so wanted. I think this is the main reason as to why I haven't been around OB in a number of weeks now, i've just been so negative- and it makes me feel guilty!
Honestly though, I don't know how people do this over and over, if I could have twins right now i'd be so happy for that would mean i'd have my two babies and would never have to be pregnant again! And it's not just the physical feelings of being nauseas and tired that are effecting me either, I am struggling with my weight increasing, with my hips getting wider, with my boobs growing (and I thought I would love this!!), not being able to play sport, etc etc. I wanted to love being pregnant but I feel anything but love about it. Of course I love my baby but that is as far as it goes right now. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 24 March 2010 at 8:24am
| LA - the whole weight thing is hard....I struggled with not being in control of my own body, really really struggled. I was lucky, never got MS at all, just nausea, and people told me I was lucky (which I was!!), but it was more than just that. And wishing for twins....a twin pregnancy is a lot harder, trust me!!! |
Posted By: 0mrs0ana0
Date Posted: 24 March 2010 at 10:38am
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So just home from the Dr, he's put me back on anti-d's, starting to feel the same way I did before my last bout of clinical depression, although last time I didn't know what it was...
So I'm trying to be positive that I'm seeking/getting treatment and I'm going to get better 
Then... pulling into my driveway someone decides to cut in the left hand side of me, turning left in my driveway so I hit their stupid car! GRR! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
May 2012
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Posted By: lostAmber
Date Posted: 26 March 2010 at 6:32pm
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0mrs, i'm working with a therapist as well and find this the most beneficial thing. I feel so lucky to have this opportunity. I hope your anti-d's kick in soon and things start to look up. I just came off mine cold turkey when I conceived. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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