Ist birthdays
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32247
Printed Date: 31 July 2025 at 12:41pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Ist birthdays
Posted By: music
Subject: Ist birthdays
Date Posted: 13 March 2010 at 8:41pm
|
I know my son is only 5 months but I have been thinking about his first birthday already as I know no matter how we do it we will annoy someone.
We sorry we need to do what it is right for us. I am not sure I want to invite the family from out of town as its such a long way to come and he wont remember the birthday either. I was thinking of having a birthday with family close by and friends of ours eg ones with kids and maybe a few more friends as well is this ok to do this? It wont be a big birthday but just want a smaller a birthday with less stress from out of town family to. I also wonder if its ok to ask people to bring a plate of food especially when there will be quite a few adults at it and is ok to say no clothing for presents as we have to much for him already if you want to buy him a gift could you please ask us what he needs. ??? |
Replies:
Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 13 March 2010 at 8:54pm
|
Personally I would think that if you say 'bring a plate' then you should say ' no presents please' but that's just my opinion as someone who's only lived in NZ for 4 years.
That's what we did for our DDs first birthday. However ours was more of a 'wohoo we survived the first year' BBQ with only 1 other baby there 
|
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 13 March 2010 at 9:02pm
|
I would make sure that you def invite the grandparents if they have a wee bit to do with them esp if they are out of town.
I ended up having 2 partys for DS as it was easier. I had the kids one which was one day after school so 3-5 so just simple afternoon tea stuff for both kids and the mums. I then did one on his actual birthday (a sunday) for family and friends with no kids etc. I personally think its fine to say bring a plate but then I would say no gifts. I know most people will probably bring something anyway and in that situation I think its rude to say what they can't buy. If you decide to flag the bring a plate - I still think its rude to tell people what to buy etc. Yes, you might get some clothes but to be honest we just ended up with lots of books and trucks! |
Posted By: music
Date Posted: 13 March 2010 at 9:37pm
|
we take food to local families birthdays all the time its just common practice in my family its part of our we celebrate birthdays.
we are only going to do an afternoon tea that is all. the presents will come regardless if people bring plates or not in our friends and family I can tell you. its just ideas at this stage. |
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 13 March 2010 at 9:41pm
|
It sounds like you know what you want to do anyway so if your comfortable with it then just do it.
There is really no right or wrong with what you do for a 1st birthday and you know your family/friends so you know what they would find ok or not. Afternoon teas are cheap and easy to do. |
Posted By: music
Date Posted: 13 March 2010 at 10:47pm
|
should I invite grandparents that are not having anything to do with him?
should I invite a set of grandparents that will stress me out and muck up his day and does want seem to want to have much to do with him either? the grandparents are from side of the family and are divorced parents. they get on ok with each other. |
Posted By: kiwikid
Date Posted: 14 March 2010 at 3:50am
|
Okay this is my opinion which of course you dont have to agree with but since you did ask...
I would issue the invite to all the grandparents out of respect but DONT let them muck up the day for you guys, they only have the power you give them so if they accept (which if they are slack they might not even bother) just take a deep breath and make sure your DH/DP is on board with how the day will be run and that these people are not royalty and will need to work in with you guys. I'd want to give them every opportunity to be involved in his life, even if its just so they can never say 'but she never even invited us to his first birthday, its all her fault we dont have a relationship with our grandchild' If you would like people to bring a plate then I would say please no gifts, and be secretly thrilled at the thought you might get some nice surprises anyway on the day. Also I would find it pretty, well, rude really if a birthday invite specified what type of gift I was allowed / not allowed to buy the child. I totally understand that you might have more than enough clothes but IMO that is a step too far. Hopefully thoughtful people will ask anyway and you can drop subtle hints that your little guy has so many clothes he's never going to get chance to wear them all and they'll pick up on it!! As for us, we had a family afternoon tea - both sets of grandparents and an aunt and uncle from each side of the family and no friends and no babies. It was perfect, DS lasted the distance, never got stressy or upset and then they all stayed for a great BBQ in the evening. This year for his second birthday we'll make it more of a party for him, with his little buddies and a bouncy castle etc. ------------- 
|
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 14 March 2010 at 10:51am
|
i agree with kiwikid about the present thing. i think it is really rude to stipulate what type of present to buy and me personally i would prob buy it just to say up you (if i received an invite that said no clothes for example).
you dont have to do a party... i dont for first birthdays. i just had an afternoon tea for my kids with family and maybe one friend. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
|
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 14 March 2010 at 11:06am
|
We just had small family party for Cadens 1st bday and a couple of close friends, but got a mudcake and I decorated it myself and he had heaps of fun.
As for presents I agree with Bizzy and kiwikid - I wouldnt write on invites what and what not to buy as a present is a present  and really should be appreciated regardless of whether he needs what he has been given or not.
Caden got heaps of toys for his first bday and not really any clothes. ETA- often though, people will ask you what he needs etc, in that case you could throw a few idea's their way :) ------------- |
Posted By: music
Date Posted: 14 March 2010 at 8:50pm
|
I have already had the problem of people buying stuff we dont need for him at xmas and not asking once which makes it hard.
maybe put a not saying on the invite if you would like ideas for presents please contact us. how this for rude today I have got someone in the family that is going to turn up for his birthday no matter whether they are invited or not. How will they know when its on if they dont get told. I dont want them there if they are saying that. how dare they. |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 14 March 2010 at 10:56pm
coyuld be worse, you could have people that don't care enough about your child to even give any presents . If you have stuff you don't need, give it away to a family that needs it , i've never expected people to ask me what they should get my children, im just glad they get them anything at all . As for the birthday , put your foot down and make the party or celebrations what you want it to be , you wont get a first birthday with your baby again ------------- 
|
huttlady wrote:Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 14 March 2010 at 10:57pm
...sounds like a pretty complicated birthday party , present lists ? cover charge ?  -------------
|
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 14 March 2010 at 11:29pm
no kelly not a cover charge, a cUver charge - theres a difference you know! 
some people go all out for first birthdays, some make it about the parent surviving the first year, others its all about the baby and some combine them with chistenings (or other ceremonies like naming or baptism). Its what you want and what you want to spend. but people who care enough to attend shouldnt be told what not to buy or what to buy. most people are sensible but there are those that dont know or who cant afford what you think they should buy. you've got over 6 months to plan it, plenty time to change your mine heaps of times over! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
|
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 7:57am
|
Yip, 6 months is a long time and lots will change in that time.
I would NEVER put a cover charge on a kids birthday, tell people what to buy or ask them to bring a plate but that is just me. I would make the party at a level I could afford. |
Posted By: kellie
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 8:48am
|
Cover charge LOL
Instead of invites why don't you just sell tickets? ------------- 
|
Posted By: RoSee
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 10:27am
omg  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
 September '11
|
Posted By: Millyoboy
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 11:17am
|
My sister had a little 1st birthday party for her son. At 12 noon she had a few mums and babies from coffee group, it was really sweet. She made a cake and tea and coffee for the mums, with ham sandwiches and had a few little things for the babies to eat. They had balloons on the floor and played the wiggles and they blew bubbles. It was just for an hour. The kids loved it, short and sweet.
Then at 2.30, the family came over for a bbq, everyone bought a plate and something for the bbq. Family and close friends understand that you have no money when you have a baby and that its too much work to try and cater - you would be frantic! Everyone was very happy contributing and it was very stress free. The men stood round the bbq, the ladies put there plates out and everyone had a nice time. You could put at the bottom of the invitation ps. my baby loves books, toys and things that make noises. Remember, its to celebrate the birth of a lovely little human, just focus on him and let everyone else just flow around you. |
Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 11:51am
|
OMG.... pardy???
I've never understood txt speak when the word still has the same number of letters. I personally would think it very rude if I got an invite to a party which told me what not to buy as a gift or was told to ask the person what they want. A gift is a gesture from one person to another to show appreciation or to celebrate an occasion, not a time to get things you've been coveting. If you get something you don't want or like, you smile, say thank you and put it away. You can then re-gift, sell or leave it in the garage forever. |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 12:05pm
Pfft that's what trade me is for, either you accept what people give (its a gift after all) or ask for no presents. Its only a 1st birthday after all, with many more to come. The polite thing would be to invite both sets of grandparents, and have the type of celebration you want to have. Afternoon tea is a great idea as its not too long. Nothing like over-tired upset kids to ruin a party. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Hunnybunny
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 1:16pm
|
OMG you have actually GOT to be kidding!????!!!
A present is NOT to show how much you like the baby. Who cares if its from the $2 shop! Its the thought that counts! If its something you don't want/need, accept graciously, then put it aside! Its your childs birthday, do what you want to do! Make sure you and your DH are on the same page, and stick with your decision. Don't let anyone ruin the day because its not about them! If you are worried about IL's etc then make sure DH knows how you feel, if it gets out of hand you might be able to give him a signal so he can have a quiet word. |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 1:25pm
LOL ! indeed ! -------------
|
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 1:26pm
|
I'm thinking AlloAllo is taking the pi$$.
For the original poster...invite the grandparents, regardless. Get your DP on the same page - any trouble and they will be asked to leave. It is your child's birthday, and he is the important one. As for presents. Take what is given graciously, or ask for no presents. If you don't like/want it, sell it on TradeMe or re-gift it (to someone who won't have occasion to run into the original giver). A birthday should be about celebrating the child's first year of life, not about what you are given, or what the food is like. If someone doesn't want to come, then they won't. |
Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 1:31pm
And also providing a prime example why active moderators are needed on the forum 
|
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 1:59pm
Yip! |
Posted By: music
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 4:45pm
this is a serious topic and some of you are being silly.
|
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 4:52pm
|
I think there was only one person who was being silly actually .
The rest of us were replying to you , and to her . If you go back and read the majority of the posts , pretty much everyone has given advice . Mine , is simply , you wont get a second first birthday with your baby , so do what you want to do to make you happy . if people get annoyed or offended by what you plan , thats their problem , don't let it be yours, just focus on your baby . And be grateful for any presents your child is given , as I said at least it means people care enough about your kid to get them something, if you get something you don't need or want , sell it on TM and use the money to get something you do want . You don't want a long party for one year olds, they get pretty worn out and grumpy quickly , an afternoon tea is probably a good idea you have plenty of time to think about it, my baby is 8 and a half months and i've only just started planning what to do -------------
|
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 9:23pm
| OMG Kelly....I need to start that early??? I know it's going to be in August, but I don't even want to think about the girls turning 1!! The last 7 months has gone too fast as it is! |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 9:53pm
OMG - have a small pardy if you have an ugley baby! that must be the best parenting advice i have ever heard!  ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
|
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 10:08pm
|
DODGY!!......
anyway!....we usually say bring a plate to the parties and we appreciate all gifts given because its better than nothing. |
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 15 March 2010 at 10:46pm
We had to plan C's about 3 months out (and send dave the dates lol) because he has so many playgroup friends with birthdays the same month - and one the same weekend. Re the OP - tell your family how the day is going to go and if it doesn't suit them, then tough titty. Afternoon tea time worked really well for us, the party was 3pm - 5pm, some people left a bit earlier to get kids home for dinner and some v close friends stayed a bit longer. IMO, gifts should never be "expected" anyway - even if you KNOW your family will buy them regardless (mine are the same). If you REALLY don't want clothes as gifts then perhaps have a quiet word with your Mum or someone else who can pass the message along discreetly that you guys have loads of clothes already.. but I wouldn't go as far as specifying exactly what they SHOULD buy. ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: kiwikid
Date Posted: 16 March 2010 at 1:59am
|
Huttlady I think everyone bar AlloAllo was giving honest advice, and as for AlloAllo I think that person is what they refer to as a 'troll' in forum-land - someone who signs up to post purely to cause trouble and be disruptive - please ignore that persons comments COMPLETELY and just consider the advice from the people that are being geniune. Of course you wont necessarily agree with all the comments given but we only hope you take it on board as food for thought. -------------
|
Posted By: Hunnybunny
Date Posted: 16 March 2010 at 10:23am
Nooo Bizzy, if its a ugley baybes! Jeez, get it right
|
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 16 March 2010 at 12:32pm
------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
|
Posted By: palomino
Date Posted: 16 March 2010 at 2:40pm
| doesz that mean mai baybes iz ugleyz cos he only had like 8 peepz at dah parday???!!??? omgz lolz |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 16 March 2010 at 2:45pm
|
Lol , thats how it works apparently ! -------------
|
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 16 March 2010 at 2:52pm
|
I was actually amazed that people came with birthday gifts ... we didnt expect them, but they were a lovely surprise! Isabelle has a ball.
I would be offended if someone stipulated what I could buy as a gift (on top of asking me to also bring food). Apparently I must have an extremely attractive child as she had three parties. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
|
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 16 March 2010 at 3:52pm
|
My child is hideous, she only has ever had one , I shall lock my ugley babyes away -------------
|
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 16 March 2010 at 5:01pm
|
wow, this thread got pathetic didnt it.
AlloAllo lean how to spell please
Huttlady, like kiwikid said, ignore all the crap that person said! ------------- |
Posted By: music
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 1:07pm
|
there has been alot of crap in here.
I was hoping for advice. I am now going to have gift list go out with the invite so that if people want to buy a present then they can buy that we could do with for him. we have to plan ours way in front if we are going to invite out of town family which I am not sure I want to but i will just to keep the peace and if they do the wrong thing they will get asked to leave. No questions asked. the birthday is going to be an early afternoon one with an afternoon tea which will be said on the invite as I want to cut his cake at the time he was born. we will decide what to do. thanks for the ideas we cant have a seperate childrens party as alot of the children live out of town that will be invited. we will have a bbq in the evening for those that are still around and we want at it for smaler group of people. |
Posted By: Lexidore
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 1:36pm
|
jeepers.......
------------- 
|
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 1:47pm
Yes there was somy silliness but there was also some great advice, most of it saying that presents are personal and a lot of people consider it rude to specify what gifts to buy. i'm sorry you couldnt see the good advice through the alloallo crap! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
|
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 2:03pm
|
Sheez - if that's the efforts you're going to for a 1st B'day - what will you be doing for a Sweet 16 or a 21st.
I have heard of gift lists being used for Baby Showers etc in the states, but then they like OTT. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 2:04pm
|
Yes, there was some silliness but as Bizzy said there was alot of advice in there.
I think maybe the issue is that you want to do it your way which is great but nobody on here really agreed with you. I agree with cali, it is alot of effort for a 1st birthday and TBH i wouldn't even go to a birthday party where I got a list of acceptable gifts sent out with the invite. But then I hate wishing wells and honeymoon registars at weddings! |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 2:16pm
|
honeymoon registers!!???..seriously do people really have HONEYMOON registers!?
i would also be offended by the gift list... |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 2:20pm
|
i once knew a couple who specified on their engagement pary invite that they wanted no plastic and they supplied a list of aceptable presents. Needless to say they were laughed about for years - long after the relationshp had ended even - and people just brought what they wanted anyway.
Just thought i would share that story, seeing as it has a little bit of relevance here. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
|
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 2:24pm
|
People have honeymoon registers instead of gift lists for weddings, we had a wishing well - mostly cause we had no idea what we wanted and had most stuff - it wasn't a stipulation though in the end it was only a suggestion.
Weddings are a different thing all together, I like having a gift list so I have some idea what to get the couple. In the end we ended up with 2 kettles and DH and I don't even drink tea or coffee
I'm a keen advocate of having inexpensive kids birthdays in the early years, it wont be long before they're wanting ipods and cellphones - and the latest fads etc. May as well have $2 shop pressies whilst they still appreciate them. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Hunnybunny
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 2:33pm
|
For our wedding we just told people we didn't need cutlery or a dinner set. I thought that was fair enough as it was something we had plenty of. We got a mix of gifts, vouchers and $$. People like to give gifts that they know will be used!
I think I would be offended to get a list of 'acceptable' presents for a first birthday. It's a first birthday!!!! I find most people will talk to you and ask you what you need and all that anyways. People don't WANT to give useless gifts anymore, what a waste of money! If they ask, you could give a few suggestions like "I'm not too sure, we have plenty of clothes but maybe some ...." Will you be sending out a list of rules aswell?
|
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 2:44pm
|
A lot of 'crap " or a lot of people disagreeing with you (in which case Allo allo would be the only one saying what you want to hear )
If someone sent me an invite to a FIRST birthday , one that the child isn't even going to remember , that included a list of what you don't want bought , not only would I not buy a specified present , I wouldn't turn up at all . My child is nearly 8 , and has recieved plenty of presents over the years that she didn't need, and im grateful for all of them , they didn't have to buy her anything . But then I don't have parties so my child can get gifts we need for her , we , her parents take care of that , we have parties so that those who love our child and love us can celebrate their special day . -------------
|
Posted By: music
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 2:44pm
There will be no rules sent out. I can tell you we did not asked at Xmas what our baby wanted for presents and we got alot of useless presents that we wont ever use even stuff for a girl. So I wanted to make sure people had some ideas for what to get him if they wanted to get a present. I dont want to have to sell stuff on trademe to get rid it again. Most of our family does not see alot of us and does not know what we have or dont have for him. I thought it was a good idea to send out some gift ideas to people if they dont know what he needs if they want to get him a present. |
Posted By: clover
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 2:47pm
|
There was plenty of advice given. You've made your decision and that is great. I don't personally agree with it but it doesn't matter because I'm not going to the party.
Seems strange that AlloAllo only wrote on this thread. |
Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 2:48pm
Totally agree! |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 2:49pm
With all those stipulations in place .... Im not surprised, I would put you in the "too hard" basket too. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
|
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 2:51pm
|
I would wait until they asked, then give them ideas.
And they probably will ask what he needs, people usually do , especially considering how expensive things are these days . This is only the first birthday , you are going to get things you don't need every year . And who cares if you got useless presents ? Its the fact they got something that matters , not what they got . I've had plenty of useless presents for my girl over the year , and im sure my boy will get plenty too , I can think of far worse things , and if there are things they need, we will get them ourselves . -------------
|
Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 3:13pm
Yeah, for weddings, when people are setting up home Gifts are given from the heart, people like choosing for themselves! If they need help, they'll ask Stop seeing a gift as a gift, and see it as an expression of love, and when you see how loved your child is maybe you'll feel more greatful. Maybe try & use the gifts more instead of just shrugging them off?
As for the rest of it, families can be difficult buggers! I had three meals for my own sanity to keep the peace Seems like you have it sussed -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: music
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 3:21pm
|
the problem I have in my family is that they dont ask what is wanted and just buy presents.
thats why I am doing a gift list for the family. alot of the gifts brought for our son we wont ever use. try and use girls clothing when we dont have a girl not cool. or use toys we already have one of already better to sell them off and get another toy. Well I would love to have 3 parties have one for just my mother and her husband and noone else for a hour and then she would would not annoy others and us as well. what a good idea. |
Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 3:24pm
|
We just took her to Dads for lunch for the dinner with my stepsister and her kids, Mums for luch with that side of the family, and had a BBQ here for the inlaws side. No stress for me, no big deal, still a celebration.
I still think what you are doing will come across as mightily rude with the gifts, but only you know your family, so if thats an accepted thing then so be it. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: Lexidore
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 3:26pm
|
okay what you obviously dont understand is that people DONT HAVE TO buy you presents so why should they ask you what you want/need! you obviously have never heard the saying it is the thought that counts because you are being completely selfish in EXPECTING people to get you gifts let alone EXPECTING them to buy you exactly what you want or need. even if they buy you something you dont need you are not going to be any worse off than you were before hand and you should be thankful that you were bought anything in the first place... I will leave it there because I can'
t believe how ridiculous this is and will end up saying something even worse. -------------
|
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 3:30pm
|
lmfao!
my son just turned 6 and his grandparents bought him tshirts that were miles too big and pants that were miles too small BUT at least they bought with love ...and i have looked on the bright side - he will grow into his shirts and my second son will wear the small jeans problem solved
|
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 3:38pm
Totally agree, well said Bex |
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 3:39pm
PARDY PARDY PARDY!! LOL
|
Posted By: Katep
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 3:40pm
|
lol...this was awesome afternoon entertainment! Thanks! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Mum to the Gorgeous Leah! 7 months |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 3:43pm
Pretty much everyone has people that will buy things they don't need, who CARES ?! at the end of the day , its not what is given that is important , its what the gift represents, the fact they care enough about your child to get it something . -------------
|
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 3:46pm
Toatz agree Bex, its toatz ridic  -------------
|
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 3:49pm
Fair enough you'd look at presents for a girl and go "huh?"..but what about the other stuff.. when you say "we won't ever use".. I mean, did the kids get a chance to use the gifts or did you just decide they were crap and get rid of them? |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 4:14pm
|
I would be pretty annoyed if I get a whole gift list for a one year old birthday party and what I can buy and only buy from this list. Sorry but I would not go at all then.
As for getting doubles of stuff ect. That is the fun part. Put some in a box to give to charity or to even regift to someone ect. As for not getting what your baby wants? My kids are brilliant. No seriously they are out of this world smart and clever and brilliant. But even McKayla at one didnt know what she would like for presents and I am sure Andrew will also not know. So it is about what YOU want for presents. Presents is an optional thing in my opinion. About the actual birthday party. Decide what you and your partner want to do. If it is a party with family or just friends. And then invite those people. One tip is to really keep is short and out of baby's naptime. But you are putting yourself up for a big dissapointment now and in future years if you expect people to buy your child what you want them to buy. I think that is really cheeky and not in the good way. That is what parents are there for. To take care of all the kids needs and it is really great if people give them something from the heart (even if you have a thousand stuff already.) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 4:39pm
|
wow and oh!
You sound so uptight about this all - I'm with lilfatty on this one, you'd be in my "too hard" basket. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://intermittentblogger.wordpress.com |
Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 4:39pm
|
I wouldn't go to a baby's party that came with a gift list either. And actually I think letting people choose can be awesome.
DD got given a doll that I have to admit I thought "yick, that's hideously ugly" as I smiled and thanked the person - but she LOVES it. It's the only toy that has held her attention for a decent amount of time so far, and has done so for weeks on end now. And I never would have bought it myself so it's great to get other people's input, I think. But presents aside, I  the idea of cutting the cake at the time she was born. Most people I know were born in the dead of night, so I've never heard of that before. DD was born just after lunch, so I shall store that up for future reference ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 4:43pm
|
I totally agree with Bex too.
I think you should be grateful for what people give your child irrespective of if you like it or not. People dont have to give gifts and they shouldnt feel obligated to buy something either that fits in with you from your gift list. There are so many more people out there that would be grateful to receive 10 hooded bath towels and it would mean the world to them. I think you should stop taking things for granted and appreciate what you have and the smaller things in life. Jeeez!! ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
|
Posted By: ?Lolly?
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 4:46pm
|
I have one thing to say - JEEBUS!
There are kids in New Zealand who go to school without lunch or shoes or adequate clothing. I'd not care at all if I ended up with several of the same things or nothing at all. (ETA : it's presents for the kiddy's not yourself) ------------- Captain Chaos (5) & the Trouble Monsters (2!) 
|
Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 4:58pm
|
OMG, it is just a first birthday, sure there will just be the one for this baby but they ain't gonna remember it and there are plenty more to come that they will remember.
As for the presents, I have to agree with Bex and I don't believe I have ever seen her write such a cross post... ------------- 
Oct 11
|
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:00pm
|
i think we are all being a bit too hard on huttlady now. i think the point has been made! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
|
Posted By: music
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:01pm
|
you guys this is not about presents for my son at all.
thats what it has turned into. we dont see our family they dont live close by it makes it harder for us to have a birthday with people that wont appreciate what you do food wise or anything. I am thinking now of not having anything for him at all. and just have a day for us three and noone else as we wont do what everyone wants and we get told off by our families for doing things the way we do like the food we do wont be good enough his cake wont be good enough. this was never about what presents he would get at all. I would rather get no presents and have no party and just have something for him alone no stress and no hazzle for any of us. I am not gold digger for presents never have been and never would be. I am trying work out what would work best but its to hard for me when I have family that expect this and expect this from you. I am putting this in the two hard basket at the moment as I cant see how we can have a birthday for him at all. maybe should have our close friends and their children only and nothing for the family at all. as we have family that dont get on on both sides with each other makes it really tough to deal with. I am not about presents never have been. |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:06pm
|
I agree with Bizzy. The point has been made . ------------- |
Posted By: ?Lolly?
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:08pm
|
I think it comes down to that little mantra 'You can't choose your family' Best to not offend anyone and invite them all. Let them decide if they want to make the trip. ------------- Captain Chaos (5) & the Trouble Monsters (2!)
|
Posted By: RinTinTin
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:08pm
|
Wow, some peoples lives are so trivial huh? Oh to have a life as simple as this.... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:09pm
|
Seeing as your son is only 5 months old, you've got a while to think about it aye?
It is a 1st birthday and as a few ladies have said, he won't remember it. 1st Birthdays are much more for the parents IMO. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:09pm
| Oh my god, this is hilarious! I think a chill pill is needed huttlady. Go cuddle your son. |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:09pm
|
Funny, I was just saying to someone yesterday that kids parties have got totally out of hand... that was before reading this thread!
I never ask people to bring a plate and I always specify on the invitations NOT to bring gifts. Birthdays are about celebrating my beautiful childrens lives, not what people are going to give them. Any gifts are gratefully received and on the occasion DD has been given a clothing item I can't stand I still ensure that she wears it at least once for the obligatory photo to show the friend or family member that gave it to her. At Christmas time she was given makeup which I don't think is appropriate for a 3yo so I found a new use for it - I called it facepaint and we've had a great time drawing pictures on each others faces. Her first birthday fell on Easter weekend and you wouldn't believe the number of Easter eggs she got, I had to eat every last one of them... it's a tough job this parenting lark
This year DD (who turns 4 in 3 weeks) is not getting a birthday party. We have limited money and would rather spend it on her than on a party (venue, food, gifts bags - it's all too much). We have the BEST day planned and I'm really looking forward to it. 1st birthday's are more about the parents surviving the 1st year IMO so I think for DS's we will probably have a family day with a bottle of bubbly for DH and I once the kids are in bed. ETA: if having family there is going to stress you out then don't invite them. Just have your playgroup over for afternoon tea - this works really well if your childs birthday falls on a weekday when most people are at work. -------------  
|
Posted By: RoSee
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:12pm
I'm interested to know what would happen if one of the invited guests turns up with no present at all? Or what about a present not on the list? God forbid your child should end up with a toy they already have! 
Why don't you write on the invitations what colour clothes the guests can wear and what order they are to turn up in.. Maybe you can play a game called 'huttlady says'... sorta like a twist on Simon Says! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
September '11
|
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:12pm
|
back away people... shes stated her case! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
|
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:15pm
AGREED! ------------- |
Posted By: palomino
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:16pm
| I can understand how hard it is to please all your family, but you cant please them all and it is your kids day. My boy has 8 grandparents and some of them dont get along so what we did was have a picnic in neutral territory (they were all bickering over whos house it was going to be at) so we went to the lake, and just invited them all and the ones that didnt come we caught up with another day. There were no arguments, the ones who felt uncomfortable left early after the obligatory cuddles and presents. Also this was a week before his real birthday, on the 'big' day me, the partner and B went for a drive to the beach. Stress free and everyone was happy! |
Posted By: music
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:19pm
how dare you say stuff like that. what horrible things to say did you not read what I wrote above. |
Posted By: music
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:21pm
we got alot of girls clothing for xmas ok for our son and we did not get many toys at all for him. nothing we did not already have for him so they are going to get listed on trademe to make some money so we can buy something for him that he would use. why would people buy girls clothing for a boy?? |
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:21pm
|
WOW got to say i think its way OTT to be giving a gift list! for a kids birthday party, anything we have got that the kids havnt needed or used has been sold on trade me and the money put into the kids accounts,
i can see where your coming from with recieving stuff you dont need or want but its the thought that counts really, and they should be there to celebrate the birthday because they are part of your kids life regardless weather they bring food or a present! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:23pm
|
The whole present debacle aside, Do what YOU want for his birthday, if your family are going to have a problem with it , or are going to get upset by you, let that be their problem, not yours, it only needs to be your problem if you let it.
You wont get another chance to have his first birthday, so make it what you want to do ,stuff everyone else -------------
|
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:24pm
|
on the family thing we usually have to ring certain family members and remind tham that they need to hold their peace with others as the days not about them its about celebrating your kids birthday
DH's mum has also been warned if she starts any crap she wont be invited again and this seemed to work well shes been on best behaviour ever since  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: music
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:27pm
thats why I dont want family there that are about show and not about anything else. |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:30pm
Best piece of advice right here!
-------------
|
Posted By: music
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:38pm
I have tried to do that my with my own mother but she does not listen and now expects to come to his birthday without an invite. I said you get invited and you dont gatecrash if we dont want her there. She is a long way away. |
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:46pm
|
As others have said, and based on your last post about reconsidering the party, why not save yourself the stress and just do something for the 3 of you (as you said). Why give into the pressure of having a 1st birthday party when you don't have to?
He won't remember a party, and there's nothing wrong with celebrating a birthday with your own family unit and a nice cake. Celebrate the fact you made it through the first year as parents
And just as a side note, the thread only became about the presents, because it was something you mentioned. If you don't care about the presents then why even think of a gift list? Just sayin'.. |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:50pm
woah really!!?? you get girls clothes even when they KNOW you have a boy!!!??? .....bit like the old man who asked me why i tie my little boys hair up!! (shes a friggen girl obviously!!!)..
|
Posted By: palomino
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 5:57pm
| But its got to be bad if your own family are buying girls things??!! Did they not know he was a he or were they things like gowns that kind of look girly but are really handy regardless of sex |
Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 6:03pm
|
Yeah, that boy/girl thing is weird -------------
Oct 11
|
Posted By: music
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 6:08pm
they had pink bows on them and stuff like that so they cant be used on our boy. and they were pink and I have just left them in a suitcase all that clothing that was girly. shocking amount of clothing was girls and we had him in the october. |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 6:24pm
| so did you get the girls clothes before or after HE was born?? |
Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 6:26pm
|
You just need to start going for a girl
Flag the birthday thing completely. Who cares about any of it. You are a mother, you don't need the stress. Plan an awesome day for you, your partner, and DS. Wake up to pancakes for breakfast, a trip to the zoo, a picnic lunch, and then have an afternoon nap before heading to the beach, or something. Special time for you guys that you will all actually enjoy and cherish. Do it. If the others want to see him, let them put the effort in ------------- http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 6:29pm
|
I think your best bet , is to have something either with the three of you or to have maybe one or two close friends, you don't owe anyone a party , and if your family can't manage to be civil and just happily celebrate with you without getting upset and offended, then they don't deserve to be there .
TBH, first birthdays are more about the parents going "sweet ! we survived the first year " than what the baby wants to do , so make it an occasion you and your partner will look back on and think "yep, we had a great time " ..if you do invite the family , say on the invite "we are celebrating our baby BOYS first birthday , please help us to celebrate the first year of our SON'S life " and make the invite blue -------------
|
Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 7:03pm
|
We had awesome first birthdays for my girls... both had the same thing. We went to the the park and invited friends and family and it was easy peasy... I took lots of party food for the "kids"... one of them we even had a thunder storm but we'll always remember it even though she won't LOL... Everyone bought presents which was sooooo nice of them! and I really appreciated everything we were given... I say relax and enjoy it! your celebrating ya boys first year and really it doen't have to be a huge thing just make it something special to you guys ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: music
Date Posted: 17 March 2010 at 8:11pm
this was after he was born and for xmas presents. |