Ok so Amelias dad and i were in a very bad relationship when i got pregnant very unexpectadly with her (i was on the pill) . Her father Matt initailly said he would stand by my decision , then changed his mind and wanted an abortion . i personally could not go through with one tho and i made the desicion to keep her , we Tried to stay togteher but things quickly fell apart after he cheated mulitple times and alsorts of other problems ( he owed me thousands of $$$ that he still has never paid , he has bi-polar, and suffers from depression and is a compulsive liar) so from about 12weeks pregnant onwards i was completly on my own , He quickly got inot a new relationship with a 17 yr old girl that hes now enaged to but he always would send me texts , quite often dodgee as ones and his moods chaged on a daily basis , some days he would go into how much he couldnt wait to be a dad and how he would support me and help out financialy and have baby sometimes etc etc . well now my beautiful Amelia is coming up 9months old and he has seen her a total of 8 times and never once paid a single cent in child support or bought her anything , not so much as a nappy or xmas present . Hes forever making false promises .

i havent even got Amelias birth certificate ( shes been registerd but no cert yet) as Matt kept changing his mind as to weather he wanted to go on it or not , he then called internal affaris himself before christmas to order a form for him to sign as father , well suprise suprise 4months later he still hasnt signed that form and i desperatly need the birth certificate so i am having to write a latter stating that i dont want him on the certificate and it will say "father unknown" . Im really at the point where i am thinking of cutting all ties from him . iv had enough . im in a new relationship with an amazing , fantastic guy that iv been with for over 4mths , he just dotes on Amelia and she loves him to bits . I was just wanting some opions on what you think i should do ? i would really like Amelia to know her father but im just at my whits end and i know hes just going to hurt her in the long run , maybe it is better if she just doesnt see him at all .

Agree with what's already been said, sounds like your daughter already has a loving and stable home, and he isn't able to be a responsible father to her.

Get lawyers involved if that's what it takes to sort out the birth cert etc, and let your daughter make up her own mind about whether she wants to know him when she's older.

Thanks guys , i apreciate your advice . i actually sent Matts mother (Amelias grandmother) an email today as im just at the end of my teather . i told her that i was thinking of cutting my tyes with him and that i was not going to name him on birth cert as he has had chance after chance after chance , but that she was still welcome to visit her grandchild. She has only met her grandchild once (the day she was born) and i send her updates and photos every couple months as she says she enjoys seeing them and every time she says she cant wait to come and see her again- well hello!!! its been 9months!!!!  , anyway this is part of the email i got back (these are her exact wrds) :  tell me if im over-reacting.

Julz hun hugs!

Firstly, you have tried to get Matt to sign the cert, if he isn't going to do it he isn't going to do it. It'd be easier to put father unknown for now and in the future you can add him. My bros done the research, (remember him and his sons mum aren't together) You can add a father to the cert at anytime but you can only take someone off if you do a paternity test. If your worried about Milly seeing the cert and asking why isn't her dad on it, chances are she won't see it until she needs a passport or something like that done, which until about 15 I would assume you would be filling all that stuff out and after that she will hopefully be old enough and responsible enough to sit down and talk to about it.

My advice for the access, let them come to you. If they want to see her then its on your terms when your available and if you can't be there then someone who YOU trust to be there with them. Don't make the effort to email his mum and see if she emails you in the future and asks if she can have pics etc. Don't talk bad about her dad round her which I'm sure you won't be. But just mention him and the good times you had together. If it's not going to upset you then maybe keep a box of photos aside of him and you together and let her look at them everynow and again as she grows up.  When she asks for him while growing up, the only thing I can suggest is call him and put her on the phone. I suggest you txt him prior to let him know that its Milly and not you wanting to talk to him. If he answers then great, stand close by and monitor, if he doesn't then just say sorry bub looks like he's busy at work/sleeping whatever you want.

As for the dodgy pics, txts I would keep them on your phone in a folder specifically for him so you don't scroll through them, then every other month back them up to a computer as you will probably want things like that if he ever wants to claim custody of Milly. I'm not sure but he may realise down the track that if he has her as main custody then he can get winz support and that would benefit him. Keep track of all times you have tried to make contact with him and his mum.

I hope some of what I have said helps.