hmmmmm........name change
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Topic: hmmmmm........name change
Posted By: rachndean
Subject: hmmmmm........name change
Date Posted: 22 April 2010 at 5:22pm
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OK, so 3 times in the last 2 weeks DD has told me (she is 6) that she wants to change her name so that she has her dads last name and the same last name as her brother and sister (they have different dads, i am remarried with the same last name as my younger 2).
I have explained to her that we need to speak to her dad about it, and explained that we dont want to hurt his feelings or make him upset. My question is, do I bring it up with him or should I leave it until she talks to him about it? I want to make it clear that it is entirely her idea, and I havent emphasised the point at all. We have 50/50 custody, and are on pretty amicable speaking terms 
TIA ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
DD Savannah 18.01.04 DS Austin 04.09.08 |
Replies:
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 22 April 2010 at 5:32pm
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Oh wow. Tough conversation!
Perhaps, given that you're on speaking terms and get along OK, you could give him a call and just be honest - say, look this is a bit awkward but DD has starting bringing this up and how do you feel about it? How do YOU feel about it? Are you happy to stick with the status quo if he really doesn't want her to change? What did your DD say when you said you didn't want to hurt his feeling? Will she bring it up with him herself? Good luck ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 22 April 2010 at 6:45pm
| Id do something like that too. Approach him and say that DD and said this out of the blue. Wanted to warn you in case she brings it up with you so you aren't caught off guard with it. If you are ok with it either way then I'd also let him know this and that you don't want to push him aside or make him feel that way etc. |
Posted By: rachndean
Date Posted: 22 April 2010 at 7:16pm
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TBH I would be stoked if she hyphernated her name with ours, I would be one happy mummy! But it was one of those things I didnt ever want to push. I was thinking about giving him a call and talking to him about it, might be a better idea than at changeover when DD is around. I did mention it to him briefly when she brought it up the first time, but we didnt really go into it. But since she seems to be pushing the idea.......
Her words were (which I thought was kinda sweet) that her daddy would be happy about it because it would make her happy!!! nawwwww Thanks for the advice ladies.....AWESOME as always!  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
DD Savannah 18.01.04 DS Austin 04.09.08 |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 22 April 2010 at 7:31pm
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Caitlyn had her biological dad, who im on good terms with, surname and my maiden name , hyphenated with mine at the end , when I married we unofficially made my husbands surname the last one but left her bio dad's name first .
I just explained to C that this way she has both dad's and both sets of siblings names ,so she is linked to both . If you're ex and you are on good terms , you might find that he is ok with the idea , if you tell him your daughter's reasons ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: ?Lolly?
Date Posted: 23 April 2010 at 12:30pm
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Ethan has my surname, there is no way bio dad would let us legally change his surname but he just hyphenates it with DP's anyway. I'm pretty sure that schools will let you do this with out an official name change, my friends son has his steps Dad's surname unofficially at school. ------------- Captain Chaos (5) & the Trouble Monsters (2!) 
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