Reassure me please
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=3316
Printed Date: 04 September 2025 at 11:58pm
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Topic: Reassure me please
Posted By: EthansMummy
Subject: Reassure me please
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 10:33am
I need some reassurance. I am having a worrying time at the moment. I am really scared about having to give birth. I no that it is going to hurt but i am really scared that i won't be able to handle it. I am giving birth in a birthing centre so i won't have any drugs available (except gas) which is fine because i don't want them anyway.
Ok so what i really want to know is does it really hurt that much and for someone to just reassure me that your body is built to do this. My partner has been really good as he knows how i am feeling about it at the moment but his words aren't working i think i need some words from ladies who have been through it. ------------- ** MUM TO ** Ethan 29/08/2006 Brooke 22/09/2008 |
Replies:
Posted By: stevie_88
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 10:37am
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Yeh help me out to... I'm freaking about how this huge thing is suppose to come out that small hole ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 10:38am
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You will be able to handle it. So long as you have a team of people that are there supporting you it will go fine. Just a question thou, if the birthing centre doesn't have drugs what happens if you need an emergancy C section? I don't want to at all scare you but what if it happenes what do they do? ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: EthansMummy
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 10:41am
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I get transferred to Hospital. Its about 15 mins away but i really don't want give birth in a hospital. Don't worry that doesn't scare me, i have thought heaps about it. ------------- ** MUM TO ** Ethan 29/08/2006 Brooke 22/09/2008 |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 10:50am
I felt the same way for a little while, but then I really began to trust in my body, it took a lot of thinking about ! I think a lot of the preparation I did helped, like massage, acupuncture etc, and then using similar techniques during early labour. I wanted to go to a birthing centre too, but didn't wind up being able to, and still got a natural water birth after about 13 hours of labour. Your body can and will do this, it was definitely designed to, and you will be fine ! Obviously you know too well that you can come here and vent anytime 
Edited to add: Oh, and support is really important too, from the people who have been helping you through the pregnancy so far, and even your partner. Even if you're worried now and feel as if things aren't working, they will once you're in labour. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 10:53am
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I was the same, I did not want to give birth to the point where I wasnt going to have kids and then I was going to have a c section but that didnt happen and even though everything I dreaded during birth did happen I actually enjoyed the experience. your body will be able to handle it, you will be amazed at how your body just does what it needs to to get the baby out.
if you are worried about not being able to handle the pain then as much as you dont want to maybe you should consider birthing at the hospital otherwise you are cutting off your options. I have had drugs with both births and both have been in a hospital, I personally wouldnt consider birthing anywhere else because of complications. it is extremely painful and uncomfotable, i wont lie but at the same time you are so pumped up on adrenalin it makes it all bearable. i know its hard to believe but it wont be as bad as you imagine. Just listen to your body and your midwife and you will be sweet. |
Posted By: EthansMummy
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 10:55am
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Thanks Jax. I have my partner and my mum as my support people. I think having my mum there is making me feel a lot better because although i love my partner to death there are just some things that mums know better than anyone in the world. ------------- ** MUM TO ** Ethan 29/08/2006 Brooke 22/09/2008 |
Posted By: emeldee
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 11:02am
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Hey guys, YOU'LL BE FINE!!!! These babies need to come out some way - you definitely don't want to be pregnant forever and your bodies will know what to do when the time comes. The birthing centres will be great and you are going into labour with both a plan and a back-up plan and a back-up after that. Stay flexible to the situation, remember that you are in expert hands (your midwives have delivered loads of babies and are well trained) and that it's not long until you'll have a new little person in your lives. I've had two babies with nothing but gas - Sean (#1) was delivered in a hospital that didn't do epi's or c-sections and Andrew (#2) came out too quickly to get into any of it. ------------- |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 11:15am
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Hey Linelle and Stevie,
Its normal to be a bit freaked at this close stage. The not knowing what to expect makes it nearly impossible to prepare yourself for. Rest assured though, you will be able to handle it. Your midwife is there to make sure that you and baby are ok and that neither of you are distressed. She will make sure you're not getting too tired, and that you are managing the contractions. You can trust that she will reccomend something else if she thinks you need it. It does hurt that much. It is without doubt the most painful thing I have experienced, but in saying that, I wasn't focussed on the pain. My midwife and Hubby kept reminding me that soon my baby would be here and that was my focus. Hubby kept telling me "its just one day, we're going to have a lifetime with our little girl after this" Thinking about her and finally meeting her helped a lot. It is amazing what our bodies can do. 2 years on I look at Ella and am amazed that she came from me! (and that I recovered, and that I want to do it again!!) I think about the day she arrived and it makes me so sentimental. It was just so worth the hours of labour to hold her after 9 months imagining that moment. I'm sure it will be just as amazing and special for you guys too, however it happens. You will be fine 
------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: shelleybean
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 11:27am
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mmmm really enjoyed reading your post Caramel ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 11:39am
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and remember everyone experiences things differently too. and even between different births and pregnancies things can be different. with Paris i didn't think it hurt that much.. wondered what everyone said about all the pain and all that.. I was like "hey that wasn't so bad".. but with Ayja, ow ow ow. and even leading up to having Ayja i was scared again, cos i knew things could be different.
The one thing i like to advise.. do not go into it scared, fear makes you tense up and makes pain worse.. go with your body and breathe it all out (i think Jax has mentioned doing that oo, and i know i have many times before as well). You will both be fine, just when you get to that stage where you think you can't handle it any more(trust me we all get to that stage).. along comes baby.  ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 11:59am
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i used to think a lot that it was just one bad day out of a year - i can handle that etc.
also found it really helpful to research the physical process that the body goes through - taking away the emotional side of it, it is fascinating that your body does all that, every part works together and you end up with a new baby. I like knowing that side of it (eg, how the contractions open the cervix etc) so i can stop and think (in moments of clarity) that i know what is happening. Also, tried not to listen too much to other peoples horror stories - even if things dont go how you plan them to go, when you are in the zone you just go with it. ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe -  my big 4 year old 
and Jordis - 1 year old 
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 12:07pm
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Yup, breathing pain away is highly underrated I think ! I found that vocalising (not screaming, just making some sort of noise) helped too - since it helps you breathe for longer. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 12:09pm
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I agree with Jax! Just be aware: one of my midwives said to me that often women make the same noises during labour that they did at conception... not a nice thought if you have family members in support! ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 12:23pm
YOU'LL BE FINE HONEY!!!!  I think we were probably all freaked out before giving birth (I know I was!!!) but once I was in actual labour I just let go and relaxed and listened to my body and had a fantastic birth!! Hugs! I know what you are feeling!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 12:27pm
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Oh Shelleybean, was I not very reassuring? sorry!!
Lol, I'm all sleep deprived and preggy brained right now. I probably shouldn't be sharing my "wisdom" with anyone!! ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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Posted By: stevie_88
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 12:28pm
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Haha Becca- I wonder if it's going to happen like that for me??? Hope not- I don't want to be too noisy.
And CaraMel- what your hubby said to you about its only one day and you'll have a daughter for the rest of your life- thats really got me inspired now. That's a great way of looking at it. I don't think I could concentrate on the breathing thing to much- and our antenatal classes dont do breathing techniques with us- they say we learnt to breathe at birth and we'll cope. Damn well hope so. And thinking that its only one day is a good thing to. And its sooo true! There's no birthing centres around here... just a really small country hospital and they don't do epi's or c-sects either. If I need any of them options, they have to transport me 2 hours south to Mackay in a hospital. Bugger! But I'm sure I'll be fine. But just thinking of things over and over again freaks me out, like what if this happens or what if??? sorta things. We're in the same boat Linelle! We can do it together.  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: stevie_88
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 12:30pm
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Aghhahaha see what I wrote- they need to transport me 2 hours south to Mackay IN A HOSPITAL!!! DER!!! I meant ambulance... Haha preggy brain. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 12:30pm
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I was in labour for 48 hours and 30+ hours with out any pain killers.....It was damn painful but I came thru it fine (tho I ended up with a C Section).
Dont be scared, just think...the pain is only till the baby comes out and then its gone and you have a beautiful baby in your arms....its all worth it. And like every one have said, every one is different...you might have a quick, painless labour. And I ditto the support thing, have people who could support you thru it and you guys will be fine. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 12:43pm
| just make sure you are open with your midwife about how you are feeling. My biggest thing this time was that I did not want to spend the labour throwing up like I did with Kobe (until I had an epidural which stopped me vomiting) and I told my midwife about it, her daughter also has a phobia about vomiting so she understood and as soon as we went into the hospital to be induced she got a doctor in and explained and asked her to chart an epi so I knew it was there ready to go when I needed which made me feel so much better and I didnt throw up at all! (almost though, just about all over the anethatist, he moved pretty quickly after that I tell ya!) |
Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 12:56pm
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Linelle..you will be just fine. It does hurt. But its a hurt that you know will go away and you get a big reward at the end!!
This is my second baby and to say the least I am freaking out (and I have done it all before and have an idea about what to expect)What I do now is tell myself everyday that our bodies are meant for this and made for this and that I can do it. And I believe this time around that our minds are powerful things when it comes to handling pain. Remember too that endorphins are our bodies natural pain relief and we learnt the other day that as our pain increases so does the "natural painkillers" so just when you think you cant go on you get another burst of those little things and it spurs you on!! I remember in the old days from my Granmother and people like that all they had was a shot of gin or rum!! They did it all naturally too! The old saying "mind over Matter" I think plays a big part!!. -------------  
 
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Posted By: EthansMummy
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 12:57pm
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Thank you girls, that makes me feel lots better. I think i am just one of those people who don't visualise very well. I can't even imagine having a baby it just seems so strange. Daniel has told me lots of times that i will be fine and that it's one day and look what we get at the end of it but i guess i just didn't really listen to him. ------------- ** MUM TO ** Ethan 29/08/2006 Brooke 22/09/2008 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 1:24pm
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Hehe, I don't know whether it was worse first time round not knowing what to expect, or worse this time now that I have some idea what it's going to be like!
In saying that, I had the most horrible labour with Maya - similar to Roksana's in that it was long and I had no painkillers until 36 hours in, but the actual birth part wasn't so bad and was actually over really quickly. I think it helped that my mw told me that they wouldn't let me labour longer than 12 hours, so I just kept thinking "this will all be over really soon". Of course she lied, and it was actually over 40 hours, but it gave me something to focus on. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 1:28pm
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My midwife said to me, just remember, it's only one day!
When I was preggers with Jake, I was really freaked out about the birth, but with Taine I was freaked out over how I would cope with a toddler and a baby. I figured, labour is just one day, looking after him is for the rest of my life...eeek! Reading back, not sure this is the most reassuring of messages. I rememeber being in labour with Taine, lying across the bed, telling everyone in the room that Britney Spears had the right idea about the c-section and how although everyone said it was more difficult to heal from, i doubted it. |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 2:19pm
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I've not been there yet, Linelle, so I'm not going to offer any "advice" since I'm sure it'd end up being something I'd change after the event!! But I was thinking, if birthing in a hospital would make you feel more at ease about it, could you choose that instead of a birthing unit? I'm the opposite - want a birthing unit but we don't have the option here. If booking into a hospital (and therefore the option of drugs if you change your mind and want them) is reassuring, why not? ------------- Andie |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 2:25pm
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Ah yes, i now see Linelle... you have reached that stage where you actually realize that oh my god there's gonna be a baby at the end of all this, lol. sounds tupid, but you do get to that point at about this stage where you realise pregnancy is almost over and wow i am going to be a mum but oh wait i have to do through THAT to get there... again, that relief once they're out is wonderful. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 3:13pm
Ah ! Yes, should have mentioned the sense of relief - it is absolute and immediate, and so so HUGE and fulfilling... you will feel SO good straight after, I know I did ! That was all I could say for the first couple of minutes actually, "Wow, I feel SO much better now!" LOL And then it was broken record styles of "Oh my god, I just did that !" and "Look at how perfect she is !!"  ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: shelleybean
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 3:28pm
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Oh!!!! sorry Caramel - I was serious!!!! I really enjoyed reading your post. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 3:43pm
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Linelle I feel the same - gettign a little freaked out now as the time comes closer... but I just keep thinking of all teh women who have done it and then gotten pregnant all over again, sometimes many times again... that to me says that if it is bad then then "badness" of it is totally outwieghed by the prize at the end...I am just going to try and concentrate on how exciting it will be to meet this baby, I am not goign to think about the rest just the moment she is here and it is all over... I really want that moment of relief that everyone has talked about!
YOU WILL BE FINE, I WILL BE FINE, WE ARE ALL SCARED BUT IT WILL BE OVER BEFORE WE KNOW IT! ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 3:49pm
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I'll be honest I am more freaked out this time around than when I was pregnant with Andrew. I was so layed back and was like oh well its going to happen so i'm not going to fight it. My MW thinks that having that attitude helped with the very easy birth (4 hours no drugs and to be honest the only thing that hurt was the ring of fire). This one I have found out that I already have a low lying placenta - meaning more than likely c section. Something I so don't want, I have a big phobia of catheders and don't want one in me. I would much rather the natural birth where I can get up and walk after i've had the baby. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 4:17pm
Ull do great chick its surprising how much you can handle, i didnt have any drugs, the gas didnt work for me and 22 hours later i gave birth to a big baby lol Everyone has their own way of getting through it, i found the breathing really effective till i got to the end of transition and thats when i started vocalising, just dont let yourself freak out and make sure you try and relax through the contractions (as hard as that sounds) but u will do great 
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Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 02 August 2006 at 4:18pm
Hehe totally agree i was singing in the shower LOL |
jax wrote:Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 03 August 2006 at 8:57am
| I did the same thing...and then had huge giggling fits about how i "grew" a penis. |
Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 03 August 2006 at 9:18am
HUH? Lizzle I am a a bit lost on that one... ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 03 August 2006 at 5:40pm
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She made a boy... a boy has a penis... therefore Liz "grew" a penis.
I love that I've been on here so long that I get Liz's twisted sense of humour
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 03 August 2006 at 5:42pm
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and Linelle (and other preggos)... I'm repeating what everyone else says here... but even tho it is painful as a mo fo... you survive! And then some people are stupid enough to do it again! and again! So obviously it isn't that bad. (I think even I'm forgetting and I was most adamant that I'd never do it again )
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 03 August 2006 at 9:03pm
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yes i vaguely remember Nikki going all clucky a while back.. and each timea newbies arrives on the scene. lol. and all of us do the same.. you get to about a year after having bubs and think "i want another one" - hence why most of our kiddies are about the same ages, we go in batches - other people start trying and you get those thoughts that maybe you might want one too. (i went through that a while ago.. and still in the last few days have thought a little, maybe since i have now stopped feeding ayja and i thought to myself, "i will never get to do this again") and all of that because you forget about it and just want that beautiful little bundle again.. now that yours is a moving demolition squealing grommet.. lol.. (you also forget that new babies are just as nasty sometimes in their own sleep-depriving ways) until you get to about 7 months of the pregnancy and realise that firstly you have to go through labour again, and second now you will have two little squealing pooing demolition mess-machines in a very short amount of time.
I ramble i know. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 03 August 2006 at 9:04pm
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I am not feeling as bad this time round, but with Alan I was so scared. Not so much of hte pain, but of the dignity I am a very private person and was serously freaked out by the ideaof anything or anyone being down there, but I lernt a very valuable lesson talk to your midwife be totally honest with her about everything cause if they don't know they can't help. Just like evryone said it hurt's, but with the right support you can get through anything. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 03 August 2006 at 9:09pm
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still hanging in there deb - hows it all going.. everything set for you home birth? ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 03 August 2006 at 9:17pm
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Yep all set jsut waiting for the baby now I have keep reminding myself that I still have 2 week's to go. ------------- Deborah Mum to:
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