Are you an only child?
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33204
Printed Date: 21 August 2025 at 2:57am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Are you an only child?
Posted By: Dani08
Subject: Are you an only child?
Date Posted: 02 May 2010 at 10:22pm
I would love to hear about your experiences of being an only child - good or bad. We have a beautiful 18 month old girl who wasn't actually planned, but is now the most loved little girl on the planet. When I was younger I always thought IF I ever had a child, it wouldn't be an only child, since I grew up with a sibling. But now, even though I'm clucky for another, we are a little concerned about my age (39), health, family overseas, etc. to try for another, but feel guilty about not giving our little girl a sibling at the same time, so it would be nice to hear of some first hand experiences... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Replies:
Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 9:18am
|
I'm not an only child, but DH is.
He has the "double-whammy" effect of being born on Christmas Day 
However, from what I've heard from his childhood he didn't feel like he was missing out at all. He had/has loving parents and has grown up with his best friend (who was our best man, and I consider a brother, also). I'm sure there were times he thought he'd like a sibling, but he didn't really know any different, if that makes sense? I don't think he's any worse off, at all. He's independent, easy-going and makes (and keeps) friends easily. Has a great relationship with his parents (and my family, subsequently) and doesn't even give the fact he's an only child a second thought. Bit of a novel. Hope that makes sense
*edited for to add another point. ------------- 
|
Posted By: fattykat
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 9:38am
|
*puts hand up*
I'm an only child.....don't 'think' it affected me lol. Growing up it never worried me being a only child. I LOVED my childhood. Until reading this I don't think I had really given it any thought. I don't have much of a extended family but there are close family friends who were always there for me and still are. Like Mama Pickle said....I guess I don't know any different either. My Mum and birth father seperated when I was a baby but my step father (Dad) has been in my life since I was two. I do have half sisters on my birth fathers side but they don't count as I have never meet them and don't intend to (I'm 31 and they are in their mid 20's I think) so consider myself the only one. |
Posted By: julz85
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 9:39am
|
does your daughter have any cousins around her age ? Im not an only child ( i have one sister) but i was bought up living very close to my cousin ( whos 9months younger than me ) and we are probably more like sisters than me and my natural sister . i dont think it makes a huge difference as to weather your wee girl has any siblings or not, she will have all the love and attention she need from her mum and dad and will make friends in life that are like brothers/sisters to her . ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
|
Posted By: palomino
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 9:44am
| Im an only child, i dont think it affected me in a bad way as such. I grew up on a farm so always had pets to play with and i have a heap of cousins who were always around so dont feel like i missed out on that front. |
Posted By: Smelly_Kelly
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 10:07am
|
I was an only child, had the best childhood ever, and i dont think i missed out on anything :) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/392aa6"> 
|
Posted By: MindyW
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 10:26am
|
I was an only child too and must admit that I was pretty spoilt- The only prob was that if something got broken I had noone to blame it on
I lived with just my mum as my parents split up when I was a baby. While there was absolutely nothing wrong with my childhood, I did get lonely but was fortunate to have a lot of cousins. I personally want my bub to have siblings but wouldnt be devastated if I just had this little baby.... hope that made sense 
Love and affection counts waay more than other siblings- friends, sports teams etc can fill the gaps (if any) of having no siblings ------------- My Beautiful Little Emily http://lilypie.com"> 
We've Waited for You Forever! |
Posted By: HuntersMama
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 10:58am
|
Im not an only child but one of my best friends is, and she is the loveliest person you will ever meet! She wasnt spoilt, and grew up with lots of cousins around. We have talked about it and she didnt feel like she missed out on anything, and is very independent. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Dani08
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 11:03am
|
Lol MindiW at having no one to blame for broken things - it never occured to me - so that would be one bonus for us as parents, hehe...
Julz, DD has 5 cousins here, but they are a bit older (ranging from ages 9 to 13) - the oldest is very keen to be her babysitter when she's old enough - another bonus
Thanks, it's nice to hear so much positive feedback though, makes me feel a little better about it ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 11:53am
|
I'm not an only child but Dh is he has a great relationship with his parents, and didn't miss not having a sibling as he didn't know any difference. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 12:39pm
|
I am not an only child but the youngest of four with an 8 year gap between me and the next one up, so at times felt like an only child. From about 8 years onwards my siblings weren't along for family holidays or around home much so it did get pretty lonely. Fortunately I have a lot of cousins my own age and although they lived about 3 hours away we did get together a lot growing up.
I always would have prefered to have siblings closer to my age growing up and now find I have a really close relationship with them. I have found my siblings to be a huge source of practical help and support over the years but because I have them probably don't rely on friends as much. I am pleased I have siblings and wouldn't want my children to be an only but for me I had siblings around a lot in my early years then a big gap with not so much contact and I think I missed it because I'd lost it. I may have felt quite differently if I'd been an only child from day one. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 2:30pm
|
My first husband was an only child .. and the only "flaw" he seemed to have is that he wasnt great at sharing as he never had too.
However, my daughter isnt that into sharing either .. and she isnt an only child  ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
|
Posted By: hannibal
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 3:04pm
| I wasn't an only child but my brother was killed recently in an accident and I hate the thought now being the only one if that makes sense. |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 3:22pm
|
I'm not but I do have some friends who are. One is a very well rounded person, the other is a spoilt brat (still!). I think it comes down to parenting, not number of siblings.
One thing a lady at work said to me the other day stuck though - she, at 40, had her 2nd child and the deciding factor for her (she was about 50/50) was wanting the family to continue when she was gone. She said as an only child herself, she felt incredibly lonely when both her parents died and she had no siblings or other close family to turn to. |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 5:40pm
|
Me!
I always longed for a sibling, just someone to play with or boss around, sure I had friends over 24/7 and sometimes to stay the night but it was never the same because they always went home. Holidays were often a bit boring and never anything like Splash Planet or Rainbows End... I would have loved a sibling to have when on the long car trips too! But being an only child and grandchild meant I was really spoiled with toys, clothes etc, never went without anything... When I got sick of my friends I could just send them home... HTH... lol ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Whateversville
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 6:35pm
EXACTLY what I would have said!! Holidays and long car rides were boring but I had lots of friends that lived on my street so I was okay
|
nkap9 wrote:Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 6:43pm
|
I think the key is to be very child focused when it comes to holidays, weekends etc. If your only is busy with extra curricula activities, has the opportunity to go on camps with cubs, brownies etc and outings are child focused such as visits to the playground, camping holidays at the beach etc then its all good. Kids will make friends with other kids at pools, playgrounds etc, but the later childhood and early teen years get difficult, that is when family holidays with two parents doing their own thing and a bored lonely teen tagging along doesn't go so well. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 6:45pm
|
Oh and sharing, I hate sharing lol
ETA like the above poster said child friendly activities, brownies, cubs etc, My mum had no idea so I missed out on that too!! Like Julz said cousins, I had my cousins live with us for about 4 months when they first moved to NZ and it was really great! But also nice when they left as I didn't have to share lol Aaand... Sorry you've really got me thinking!! My parents separated when I was a baby too, I do have half siblings but they're 10+ years older than me so never would have been good play mates and even now we have nothing in common! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: Whateversville
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 7:44pm
|
I was into dancing at 3yrs then gave up at 10yrs and took up marching til i was 19yrs so I made loads of friends and travelled lots.
I also played netball at school.. I don't care about sharing now but when I was a kid I hated sharing my barbies coz I always had the good ones and didn't want other people playing with them lol |
Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 8:08pm
Argh same about the Barbies!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 9:04pm
|
Having siblings is not all its cracked up to be - there is 3 years between my brother and I and we havn't got on from the beginning. The first thing he did when I arrived home was poke me in the face.
For the type of relationship we have I may as well not have a brother. The only plus is I have two fabulous nieces and an awesome ex-SIL best things to come out of his failed marriage. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: scribe
Date Posted: 03 May 2010 at 9:47pm
|
This was on my mind towards the end of last year when I seriously considered the idea of stopping at one child (though it would never have happened anyway, as DH is very keen for another) ...
But then I went through a lot earlier this year with my parents (they're long divorced; both were going through entirely different things) ... during that time the support of my siblings was so important - even my husband couldn't understand or empathise entirely ... so I worried about the burden it could put on Clara on when DH and I are much older, if one of us was to develop alzheimers or a serious health problem etc... However, having said that, my mother hasn't spoken to her brother (her only sibling) for something like 15 years so having a sibling is no guarantee that they'll always have someone to turn to! And I can only speak highly of the only children I've known... they've tended to be outgoing, well rounded, achieving types. As far as the spoilt stereotype goes... I can think of a lot more spoilt youngest children (in particular, a few youngest girls with two older brothers )
|