Decision Making in Your House?
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33378
Printed Date: 21 August 2025 at 11:27am
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Topic: Decision Making in Your House?
Posted By: Peanut
Subject: Decision Making in Your House?
Date Posted: 13 May 2010 at 11:46am
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After talking to a couple of friends this morning who both said things along the lines of "will talk to DH when they get home" or "am waiting for DH to get home so we can research it all" it got me thinking - who makes decisions in the house.
I make all decisions in regards to the kids purely cos I am home with them all day so have more idea whats going on with them etc. This is in regards to what DC, medications etc. I always talk to him about it later but he trusts my decisions. I will always check with DH for outings as a couple or family. I never check with DH if its an outing for just me. House decisions in regards to repairs, gardening etc are all made by him. What happens in you house? |
Replies:
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 13 May 2010 at 11:49am
| Pretty much the same here. I write the grocery list no matter who goes shopping. I generally decide when we need to spend money on the house since I'm around all day to know when something is needed. |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 13 May 2010 at 11:49am
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It's combined in our house. We generally run all our decisions past each other and come to a mutual agreement. ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 13 May 2010 at 11:51am
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I tend to make small financial decisions alone .. any large outlays I do discuss with DH.
Even though he is the kids full time carer, he still discusses any decisions in regard to them with me. If its a girls only outing, I do ask because its him that will need to look after the kidlets. If its a family outing I still ask as he may have other plans. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 13 May 2010 at 11:57am
| I make pretty much most of the decisions to do with the girls, ALL of the decisions to do with money and a lot of the decisions to do with the house renovations. For outings, if it's during the week when I'm with the girls, I just do it. For family outings, we check with each other. |
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 13 May 2010 at 12:02pm
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I make most of the day-to-day decisions to do with Callum and the house. I mostly deal with any tradespeople etc that we get in although sometimes I make DH do it if I feel like it's in the too hard basket!
Major financial decisions we make together or I leave up to DH, depending on what it is. Family outings I *usually* ask DH first unless it's with our best mates here and then I always say yes (if we're free) and tell him later. Sometimes if I feel put on the spot and don't want to say "no" outright, I will lie and say I need to discuss something with DH first even though I don't really  ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: Henna79
Date Posted: 13 May 2010 at 12:03pm
| We make decisions together. Although with DH now working away from home for 3 weeks every 6 weeks (iykwim) I am making more decisions without him. |
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 13 May 2010 at 12:05pm
I do that to.....are you trying to say thats what they were doing to me this morning
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kiwisj wrote:Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 13 May 2010 at 12:13pm
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Baby's not here yet, but guess it will be mostly me on a day to day basis as I'm the one that will be home - big things like child care etc will need to be made jointly. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 13 May 2010 at 12:16pm
Haha ... maybe... were they asking if you wanted to come play?  ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 13 May 2010 at 12:29pm
Ditto. During the day when it involves Jackson I make all the decisions, unless I need his medical opinion/advice on something. I pay all the bills so dont normally run that past DH unless its something odd or something I cant get my head around. I manage all our finances mainly cos DH cant be assed and cos I like to know where our money is going and how much we are saving/spending. We always run big spends past each other. DH manages the house things, inside and out. He manages all the technology stuff but will run it by me and then we make a mutual decision. We generally go out as a family. But when I have girly meet ups I always talk to DH cos he needs to babysit Jackson. Kate, you are one super mum  ------------- Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: Aprilfools
Date Posted: 13 May 2010 at 1:28pm
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Finances we always talk everything over and decide what we want or need but I'm the one that makes sure it happens and works out how much money we save and spend each month etc etc.
DH can't organise anything so I keep track of what we're doing. If we are getting together with people that we see a lot of and really like then either one of us will decide and the other is quite happy to follow but if it's someone who's more of an acquaintance then we discuss it first. He works on call every three weeks so he usually has to ask me anyway because he can never remember what weeks he's on and what weeks he's off. As for the house, when it comes to the renovations I make the decisions on how it will be done but we both have to decide on the financial side of it. And with the outside he decides not to mow the lawns or clean the pools so I decide not to feed him . He manages an awful lot considering the hours that he works, the studying he's doing and the two hours he commits to Harper every night so every now and then I might cave and feed him if the lawns aren't done. (I'm kidding btw)
We both make the decisions when it comes to Harper. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 13 May 2010 at 4:06pm
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I’m not really sure… I think I make most of the minor financial decisions, and definitely all of the day-to-day running of the house stuff. Big things, we discuss – but often big things seem to be my idea, so it’s me putting it forward, and him either agreeing or trying to talk me out of it. Like re-doing the bathroom; I wanted to do it, he thought about it and wasn’t too fazed, so we are. Or the new deck – I wanted to do it, he was fairly persuasive that it wasn’t the greatest idea. So you could either say that he makes the decisions (because if he really doesn’t want to, I’ll usually drop the idea) or I do (because most of the time he seems pretty happy with my ideas, so most of them get done!)
The hard decisions we’ve had to make are all ones where I either haven’t had a strong opinion, or haven’t wanted to persuade him one way or another. Like doing his PhD – I felt that that was a decision he really had to make, because only he knew what he’d be happiest doing (and I would have hated him to feel like I pushed him one way or another). -------------   
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 13 May 2010 at 6:59pm
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Me me me me me!
I am the one at home all day, I arrange any appointments, I know the routines of the house. ...Actually, I usually make all the decisions but if DH doesn't agree then he will refuse to budge. If I ever dont want to do something I will ask DH and hope that he says no for me though ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Kellyfer
Date Posted: 13 May 2010 at 7:25pm
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It's about 50/50 for us... we tend to make our own decisions regarding social stuff - we run it by each other, but usually its informing, not asking! But I guess that will change when bubs is here.
We almost always go shopping together (whether its for clothes or stuff for the house) and any big expenditures (not that there's many of those these days) are (usually) discussed. DH used to be a bit of an impulse spender, but we had a bit more money back then so occasional surprises weren't too much of a drama. DH does most of the maintenance work on the house, so he makes most of the decisions there. And going back to uni was something I wanted to do, but I definitely discussed it with DH coz it was a big financial adjustment... so we both contributed on that decision. Having a baby was probably more my decision than his, coz he's wanted one since we got together pretty much, but I wanted to wait for the right time for me. I guess I will be making most of the daily decisions with the baby when he is on the outside, coz I'm going to be the stay at home. At the same time I expect us to be on the same page and basically just communicate a lot about how we both want things done. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 13 May 2010 at 8:22pm
Yep same in this household. DP makes all decisions to do with gardens, building, repairs. Guy things lol. -------------  
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 13 May 2010 at 8:33pm
| Pretty much all me here except if DH is home and its a big decision, we discuss it together. We don't usually have an option to do 50/50 |
Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 14 May 2010 at 9:28am
I pretty much make all of the decisions :-) I'm the boss  We do discuss big things though... and I usually let him know whats going on but he is pretty happy for me to take charge and it suits me too :-)
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 14 May 2010 at 12:05pm
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we are pretty 50/50 too... though recently when E changed schools I made that decision by myself as I have to take him and I'm a teacher so he trusted me:) we talk through financial ones and any that involve each other....he's always happy to look after the kids if I need him to but i like to give him notice. but i do use the must ask Dh excuse too:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 14 May 2010 at 1:37pm
LMAO same here, & If I remember to let him know.... plus he's hopeless at decision making ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 14 May 2010 at 1:49pm
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If its to do with any activities on the weekend I check with DP in case he has plans, so he can babysit, or if he wants to come too, or in case he wanted to do something else with just us..during the weekdays I decide for myself and tell DP where we will be (he is a courier driver and likes to stop somewhere and have cuddles with Jae during the day lol)
Money-wise we have our own things... DP pays the bills, I pay for the kids stuff like clothing, nappies/formula etc... but occasionally we will 'borrow' money off each other. Groceries we will write a list together because he has things he uses/eats that I dont and vice versa, so we both do that, although I physically do the shopping by myself. Household decisions currently go with DP as we live with his father, so he has to then check with his dad about stuff... I hate that... When it comes to the kids, DP likes having some say in Jae's day-to-day care, even though im the SAHP, but being his first and beloved baby, I humour him To give him credit, he helps out more with decisions regarding my oldest than B's father does...
So its fairly 50/50 here... ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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