At the risk of starting an argument....
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Topic: At the risk of starting an argument....
Posted By: mrs frantic
Subject: At the risk of starting an argument....
Date Posted: 04 August 2006 at 4:08pm
I know this is a touchy topic and I dont want to start any arguments, but I think we are all nice people here and so I dont think it should happen...anyway I just wanted to have a rant cos I am sooooo angry
A female family member of mine who is a SAHM with her 2 kids, 5yrs and 18 months. SHe gave up work when she had her first and hasnt gone back. The thing is she is really anti daycare and she honestly looks down on people who use it as bad mothers. Now I will have to go back to work, somewhere between 4 and 6 months depending on how we manage the money we have saved and what things come up. It's not a choice so much as a matter of necessity really, we have a lot of commitments. Anyway I just had a conversation with her that went somehting like this: Me: Cant wait to have some time off work, really looking foward to bonding with baby Her: Well until you go back to work ofcourse, then you ONLY will be a part time mother...*smile smile wink wink* But this is just one comment, I get heaps of them, HEAPS! When daycare comes up she constantly says things like "oh I could never do taht to my kids" and my personal favourite "why do people have kids if they are just going to let someone else raise them?"(grrrrrr..ok so everyone who needs to work is evil and doesnt deserve kids - the cheek of it!) and it really gets to me. I really hate her attitude and the fact that she thinks she is such a perfect mother and that she looks down on me already for being a bad mum and I havent even had this kid yet!!!! The thing is she is always complaining how hard her job as a mother is and how tired she is all the time cos her kids do this or that -she is such a martyr. WHat makes her so much better than me - and all that complaining about how hard her life is and how tough meibgn a full time mum is - how can that be being a good mother - esp when the kids overhear her saying it which they do from time to time? She is grumpy and short tempered, and stomps around like the world owes her somethign for being a fulll time mum, which ofcourse is hard but from my perspective it is a privillage, I would love to have that opportunity, and then - to turn around a look down on me because I will have to use daycare - uggghhhh aARRGGHHHHH!!!! So closed minded, so judgemental and SO FRIKKIN SUPERIOR!!! Sorry guys, I know everyone has their view on this, and i think everyone is entitaled to their view (even her highness herself!) but I just want to say: why cant people have their own view but respect the view of others - why is there is this "looking down" on workng mums attitude amongst some people - WHY CANT PEOPLE JUST ACCEPT AND NOT CRITISIZE?!?!?
Like I said..sorry to rant, it just drives me nuts that this family member says this stuff all the time... I nearly lost it but I walked out, but one of these days i dont htink I will be able to contain myself and world war 3 will break out, she is not the kind of person you want to argue with! ... I am already dreading and sad about going back to work, it is going to be hard I know, and I am only doing it to pay the bills, and already I am being judged for it....!  ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 04 August 2006 at 4:13pm
 It is a shame some people are so judgemental of others.
Mrs Frantic - keep your head up, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of going back to work and putting your darling bubba in childcare. It in no way means you are in any way at all a worse mum or love your child any less than someone who isn't working!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 04 August 2006 at 4:21pm
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aw frantic, people make all sorts of decisions in their lives that are different from those around us. you might have planned to stay at home with baby and then gone stir crazy and decided to go back to work? so how does that make you a bad mother?
i know you are not looking forward to going back to work, at least you have plenty of time to get your head around it, and can spend that time at home cherishing your baby. if you are happy in your work/homelife balance, your baby will be too. from my point of view, sometimes it can be hard when you have made the decision to stay at home with your kids, and miss out on the material comforts that working will bring, and it honestly doesnt feel like the kids are benefiting from it much day to day. She might be feeling closed in from too much dora the explorer. Or inadequate? either side of the fence is pretty hard sometimes. I think possibly she has forgotten what it is like to be around people with different views to her - which can happen when you are in the playgroup set. if i were you, i would start winding her up, telling her i am soo looking forward to being back at work away from dirty nappies, and that you have to work so you can pay for that trip to raro next year.... and watch the steam come out her ears!!!!! As long as you and your hubby know the reasons why you have your homelife the way you do, and treasure the time you have together as a family, then how is that bad? i very much doubt your baby will suffer anything from being in care - she will be stimulated and learn lots from watching the kids around her. do you want me to beat her up for you? coz i will if you want....... j/k  ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe -  my big 4 year old 
and Jordis - 1 year old 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 04 August 2006 at 4:24pm
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mrs frantic she is prob saying that cause it is bloody hard bieng a full time SAHM and she prob wishes she hadnt been so bloody minded so she could send her kids to daycare..
i would reftain from mentioning to to her anymore as it is obviously making her jealous. oh and just remember there are pros and cons to every thing.... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: emeldee
Date Posted: 04 August 2006 at 4:34pm
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MrsF - piffle to her.
No matter what kind of mum you are, there is no such thing as a part-time one. It takes a whole new set of skills to be able to juggle work, raising children, happy marital relations and time for yourself. Having been both a working mum with number one and a stay at home mum with number two, I have to say that being at home in this day and age is a luxury, that the majority of NZ women can't afford. I don't think that most NZ women have a choice any more and even if they did, there isn't a wrong choice. Everyone's situation is unique and different. I'd possibly start turning things around on the mum-martyr in your family by smiling and telling her that in the present economic climate she is lucky to have the luxury of having the choice to stay home and that you can at least take solace with the knowledge that your baby will have the best early childhood education available to her with two loving parents who are able to provide a home for her because they are working. If she's anything like the other mum-martyrs I've met it won't even touch the sides, but remember - you're doing a great job - and you're in the same boat as loads of other women!!!! Your wee bubs will have loads of social interaction with other kiddies and will be in no doubt as to who her mummy and daddy are. And I second Layla's offer to go around and tell her off for you. Or since she has all that time at home, maybe we'll just sign her up for lots of phone surveys and telemarketing databases? ------------- |
Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 04 August 2006 at 4:36pm
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OK so this woman sound's like a nasty cow. In saying that I am a SAHM and would not chage that for all the money in the world, but that is my choice I have chosen that for myself and I certainlly don't complain about it yes we could do with a second income infact we are pretty much up sh*t creek, but again we have chosen that as being best for us, but what work's for some does not alway's work for other's. Now you have made a choice too and no one should be judging you on that at all so I would tell her to keep her sticky old beck out of your busness. We often get judged for me chosing not to work it can be just as bad getting comment's about how we are living of other tax payer's. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 04 August 2006 at 4:41pm
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oH mrs Frantic, just ignore her (I know its hard)...but I would like to tell you that I am a working mum and I dont think that I am a bad mum at all.
Yes I agree being a full time mum must be hard (cause when Zaara is in a bad mood she can make my weekend reallly looong)...but having to work and then come home and take care of house work + bub is hard too.... I mean when your bub turns 5 he/she will have to go to school and daycare is just getting bub prep for it. I am lucky my Auntie is looking after Zaara at my house so its good, but I plan to send Zaara to day care as soon as she turns 1 as I dont want her to be shell shocked when she finally goes to school....I want her to be around other children and socialize!! You only have to go back to work because you want to provide the best for your child and as a family if you guys make the most of your time together and are happy then thats all that matters. Its no use being at home and being Grumpy and short tempered.....how does that help your home environment (I dont know???)? I love my bub and if I could afford to stay home, I would but even then would work Part time or some thing. Your life style is different, your child with be different so no one should compare each other!! Man, me and my novel!!! But my point is, ignore and do what is best for you and your family...and I think you will be a wonderful, loving mother...you never know your child might come out to be the better kid..... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 04 August 2006 at 4:54pm
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Ditto what everyone else has said Frantic. You have made the best decision for your family. No-one is the same and like someone else said, being a mum is hard whehter you are at home or at work. I am a SAHM but have started doing a little part time work and it is my sanity and financial saviour! I love being home with Hannah but really enjoy getting out to work too. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 04 August 2006 at 5:03pm
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Yeah in an ideal world we could be SAHM's and be with our kids and meet for coffee blah blah blah. (well in my ideal world it's what I want to do!)
Reality is so much different and hte majority of mums HAVE to return to work and I have no doubt I'll have to as well as much as I hate the idea. You shouldn't be looked down on for providing for your family, it's not like you've said "I can't be bothered with the responsibility just stick the kid in day care" (and those few people I do have an issue with)...you are doing best by your family and child. No one should put you down for that. hmmmmm Did that rambling make sense?  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 04 August 2006 at 5:25pm
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Thanks all - I know what you all are saying is right, and I will be over it soon, I guess I just saw red cos I have always respected her choice to be at home and I have always respected that her role as a SAHM mum isnt easy and she is doign an important job! I just wish she would respect my "choice" and realise that what I will have to do will not be easy for different reasons (and it's not really a choice but hey, if it was then would that be so bad? - surely we are all entitled to do things our own way!)
I totally respect SAHM's (I would be one if I could!), I guess I just want the same back (and I must admit most SAHM's are great they do respect otehrs choices and decisions, it is only the narrow minded few from both sides who ruin it for everyone) Anyway...thanks. I feel much better (just having a few little nagging feelings about whether I will be a good mum thats all and I think thats why these little comments are getting to me lately)! And Lyla - I like your thinking, I may just do that next time, just wind hger up a little even if it isnt the truth (holiday in Raro - plu-leeze I WISH! But I can dream!), maybe that will make her put a lid on it...!  ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 04 August 2006 at 6:58pm
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Can you slap her? Mmmm, probably not... but I'd be tempted
i got a wicked case of the guilts when Maya first went to daycare at 5 mths, I kept imagining all the horrible things that could happen to her. But nothing did, and within a few weeks we were both settled in our new life, and now I thank God for daycare (or preschool)! I love my little girl to bits, but I am a better Mum for the time I have away from her, plus it's meant the difference between struggling on a benefit and having a decent life. So I guess you know what I think... LOL my boss asked me yesterday how long I need for maternity leave and I said 6 mths - she thinks I am being a bit optimistic! But I love my job, I don't want to leave! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 04 August 2006 at 7:15pm
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Ah gosh, in a hurry so can't read all the replies so this may be a repeat...
Daycare makes me a better mum  When I stayed at home with Han last holidays I almost got driven round the bend and spent every day trying to find ways to ignore her. Now I am back at school I enjoy spending time with her so much more!!! (Still try and ignore her, but less )
Play the ignoring game with her. I think you are going to be a great mama! |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 04 August 2006 at 8:03pm
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Every month the hospital here has a morning tea for all the m ums and bubs born that month. I remember at ours that the midwife (an older traditional one too) said not all mums are cut out to stay at home and that they are better mums for going to work cos they enjoy the company of their kids so much more. I think that a lot of the older generation think badly of all the women who return to work because thats not how they did it, but it was never an option then and probably a lot of them would have gone back if thats how things were then.
I personally love being a SAHM, with a very small amount of work on the side, and cannot wait to do lots of fun things with Han when she is bigger, but a lot of mums just arent into that, and that is fine. You are going to be a great mum Frantic, and it sounds like you family member needs a bit of a break but has cut off her daycare option by her past comments... Her problem, not yours  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 04 August 2006 at 9:01pm
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When we had one child and went back to work it worked well for us financially in that you didn't really notice the creche fees and could still pay off extra from the mortgage. Now with two children at creche its not as viable but we made the decision that we were both going to work until they were at school age and then review. After work and the weekends is dedicated to spending quality time with the kids. Our house is never tidy, washing is always stacked in baskets, never folded but we are all happy.
I truely do not think Harry would the great kid he is if I was a SAHM....I would be addicted to the soaps, the view and dr phil, would still not do any house work and eat and get fat. I work four days now and on the day off I still take the kids to creche for part of the day so I get some true ME time (I do feel guilty about that) |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 04 August 2006 at 9:30pm
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I was a SAHM in Palmerston North and still sent Jake to care once a week! It gave him some much needed social interaction and he LOVED it. sometimes I think mums feel like they are "just" a mum, maybe she is trying to stop that feeling insde herself...oh, and there is no such thing as a part time mother!
I am SAH at the moment, and honestly, some days it is all I can do not to lock Jake in his room (just kidding CYFS), I really need that adult interaction - hence the teaching course. Different strokes for different folks really and she should learn not to be so judgemental. I';m still going with the "she is insecure in her own decision" feeling. if she says anything else, talk about daycare kids having more social skills - not necessarily true, but hey 99% of statistics are made up anyway. |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 04 August 2006 at 9:37pm
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Ooo I've got another bit of fuel for ya...
Han gets a much better education when she is at creche as well as at home with me as they do lots of different things with the kids that I'd never even consider! It's reassuring knowing that she is learning from lots of different people. |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 04 August 2006 at 10:39pm
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i am a sham and daycare saved my sanity ohh and james loves it he only goes for 6 hours a wekk but he loves it and happy bub happy mum dont listn to her mrsf because by the sound of it shes jelous of you and it can be hard trying to be shuch a little snob all the time!! ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 05 August 2006 at 10:11am
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Oh I want ot add I am putting Alan in care for 9 hour's a week too i think all mum's need a break at sometime. ------------- Deborah Mum to:
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Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 05 August 2006 at 6:11pm
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Going back to work is such a tough decision to make for some people and people who are over opinionated and feel a neccessity to justify their decision just make it harder on others of us. Frantic - you are making the best decision for you and your family and having your bubs in daycare won't make you a part time mum. You will still be the one to wake up in the night when your bubs is crying and the person they will look forward to seeing at the end of the work day. People like that are such hard work but she will be feeling insecure to have the need to be so verbal with you so try not to let it get to you too much. It is a really tough decision and reality that you face but it will all be fine in the end. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 05 August 2006 at 7:09pm
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Well, that's just MEAN of her, Frantic!! We've all got to do what's right for us and for our families - maybe she preaches at you about it because of her own issues, not anything to do with you and your decisions? You've gotta do what you and hubby feel is right and you don't gotta apologise for that or justify it! I personally get annoyed at all the pressure put on mums to go back to work early, and on women to work as late as possible into a pregnancy... but that's because I've probably got my own issues about what's a necessity and what's not, and about the limits of my own capabilities, and isn't it up to us to make our own decisions about that stuff? Screw people trying to make us feel bad about what we know is right for us! The force be with you, Frantic... I feel for ya. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 05 August 2006 at 7:36pm
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Hey Frantic, give her a slap please and tell her to get of her high horse. I have Andrew in fulltime daycare at the moment, well he is booked in for that. After I first had him and after the paid leave was up I went back to my job as a casual (I could due to the type of job it was) I worked around DH and we didn't need to have daycare. After a few weeks of not being given the hours I was promised (as usually with the casuals) I went looking for a fulltime job. (There was no way I was going back fulltime to that job as the hours were all over the place) I managed to find one and then we sorted daycare. Andrew was put in from 11.30am to 5.30pm Mon, Tues and Wed at 5 months old. I have to say they taught him alot with eating and sitting and crawling. However me spending all that time away from him I developed PND. I was very lucky to have a very understanding boss who gave me 2 days off a week paid and I had just started the job to help with the PND. I managed to work myself back to fulltime hours and get over the PND without drugs. As that was happening DH's job was changing and we needed to increase Andrew's hours at daycare, which at 1 year old was fine. It took us till he was 18 months to have him in fulltime daycare. His language is wonderful as they encourage him to use all different sorts of words, he recognises heaps of things (he even knows what and how to say octopus). Who cares that you want to put your child into care it's you own choice, I know my MIL wasn't all that happy when we put Andrew in and now is "you must be so proud of his language etc". That drives me nuts. I would so use the well we are planing to take bubs to .....(whereever family is) and by me working means that we will be able to go early next year. This may pull at her spec if she really wants to see the family there too. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 06 August 2006 at 1:03pm
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Now, I haven't read may other replies so it has probably already been said a million times - but that is just wrong. The one thing that sticks with me is the part about only being a part time mum. At no point, do you ever stop being a full time mum, when you are working hard to meet a deadline, you are thinking about all the time you are missing with your child, when you are sitting at work, any time of the day, it's hard to stop yourself from thinking "i wonder what they're doing right now" wishing you could have a little window or bubblevision into the daycare.
Being a SAHM is hard, I have been there and done that after having Paris and when i am not in class, I also found that 1st year of her life the most incrediably lonely and isolated time in my entire life, 1 - because i didn't have a license, but also 2 & 3 - I had PND, and i was already shy and withdrawn anyway, so I really didn't go anywhere do anything, meet anyone, even when friends would suggest coming out to meet them, i would make an excuse.. with no reason to. When i am not in class the kids usually are at home with me most of the time... and when they are sick (which is often at the mo) and we have been stuck at home for 2 weeks on end not going anywhere, with 2 grumpy kids all day, you still manage to look around and wonder how on earth you haven't managed to get anything done! But being a working mum is hard too - obviously there's the emotional thing, as well as trying to ensure that not only do you get al ittle time for you, but time to spend QUALITY time with your kids, fit in work commitments (cos kids cannot be the excuse for everything.. especially if your boss is a prat)still do the housework in half the usual time and have a social life and time for your partner. I think all mums work incrediably hard no matter what the circumstances are... Which is why our time on here together is so important. Even at the end of a long day - i still find i need time on here to nut things out, relax and reassure myself i'm not alone. Paris has been great with talking all along but for her Daycare increased her confidence, she used to scream at strangers, especially men, if they even entered the room she was in. I was so proud yesterday, with 20 kids and many more adults at her birthday party and she was happily stopping to chat and have conversations with the parents.. alot of which were the dad's that brought their kiddies (daycare daddies, as mummy was working). For us daycare has been great in that aspect. A while ago i did say to mike that never would i recommend anyone putting their kiddie straight into daycare in the first year. But that was when i had been sleep dprived for a week or so, both kids were sick - i must say that Ayja has been the exception and i was just so very angry that for the first 3 months of her life she was a great sleeper, a settled baby, slept and fed a dream and was so easygoing - i do know that once she started daycare it was not all about her, and so her routine had to be fitted in with the other kiddies which meant she was often kept up too long, possibly not fed right on her feed times, got overstimulated and overtired, wouldn't settle, and here we are at 14 months with a kiddie that has times where she sleeps like a dream and others where she will wake more times during the night than a newborn baby! lol so yes, as a working mum i feel i do just as much work as a SAHM..I have all the re-programming to undo some of the negative aspects of daycare. I always thought i would be a SAHM, i really did, but things didn't work out that way, and i still feel so bad, everyday that i leave my girls at daycare, but they need that time away from me - they are both independant fiery wee girls and it has done them good. I would love to have some set hours so i could at least have them at home with us alot more often, but the one thing i can bet on is, because my new job is 0.8, which means i work 8 days a fornight, I will at least have 6 days at home with them.. be it a weekend, a weekday, and it may not be all in a row - but right now that's 2 more days than i had with them while i was studying. Eveyone's entitled to their opinions, but sometimes it's best to keep them in check and be a little sensitive - alot of use HAVE to work, CHoose to work, or even LIKe to work... and for those who don't the job is just as hard, the day is just as long, and we are all good mothers no matter which way you look at it.------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 06 August 2006 at 1:04pm
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wholy crap that is a long post, i had no idea i wrote that much! ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 06 August 2006 at 3:14pm
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Well said though
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 06 August 2006 at 5:25pm
very well said ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 06 August 2006 at 7:01pm
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I agree...well said! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 06 August 2006 at 7:49pm
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Hello! This is my first post on here, but I just wanted to say that I actually conducted a research study into the importance of regular breaks from the care of children when at Uni. The overwhelming result was that as long as the time away is ok with the Mum, then it benefits everyone. If a woman is guilted into staying at home, or absolutely has no choice other than working (many of us could downsize to stay home if we really, really wanted it)that is when it doesn't meet the needs of mother and child.
In the end, there are people on both sides of the fence who feel inadequate about what they are doing, for their own reasons that we have no control about. They will take it out on anyone they can. My advice is try not to own what others say, only you can know what will work for your family. |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 07 August 2006 at 11:06am
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Well said Janine...I so agree.
I agree about how you think about your child during the day. I have a photo of Zaara on my desk and keep looking at it during the day. I call her 2-3 times a day and talk to her as well as go home to see her at lunch. I also talked to the day care place about coming over at lunch to feed her and they said it is fine!! You never stop being a mum!!! For example, I was glad to come to work today because be had a rough weekend. Zaara is teething and its hard...She finally fell asleep at 1am last night.....I am sooo tired but now that I am at work, I miss her little face and her smile...and cant wait to go home! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 07 August 2006 at 12:42pm
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i like your ticker roksana - zaara is 9 months and old. :) ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe - my big 4 year old
and Jordis - 1 year old
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Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 07 August 2006 at 1:06pm
Thanks everyone - it's really reassuring to hear what you all have to say. I dont have a lot of points of reference for this kind of stuff, 99% of my friends dont have kids and they all work, so really these kinds of decisions or topics dont often come up in conversation. Its good to know there are people out there with kids that think it is ok to work too - not that I would base my life on what other people say but like I said, it helps to have the opinions of others just so that I know I am not totally alone in this - your cooments are much appreciated, each and every post! ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 07 August 2006 at 1:54pm
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Frantic, when I was pregnant and after I had Andrew I was the first of all my friends so talking with them about anythign to do with babies and childcare went right over their heads. I have now met some great people that are mums and we are really good friends. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 07 August 2006 at 2:03pm
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it can be the hardest time in the world when you are the first of your friends to have a baby. They dont understand that you cant just drop everything and go, lazy days drinking are no longer an option, and you get really ticked off when they cancel on you at the last minute - because you have a baby sitter all lined up and now there is no need!!!!
But those that are important to you, you will make time for, and you will definately make friends with people who are in the same stage of life as you - family, young kids etc. if anything, i sometimes feel for dh, he hasnt had the oppertunity to meet guys in his position, like i have been able to meet other mums, and he has drifted away from alot of his mates. he doesnt complain, as he is such a family guy, but i sometimes think he must miss just going out for a beer now and then.... oops, OT :) hope you are feeling better about the decision you have made frantic, most people are pretty understanding about going back to work, and those that arent dont get out enough! ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe - my big 4 year old
and Jordis - 1 year old
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 07 August 2006 at 2:18pm
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He he Lyla...I think its broken!!!
Zaara is 9 months and 7 days old today!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 07 August 2006 at 5:22pm
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Yeah I have been finding it a bit hard that I am pretty much the only one in my circle of friends to being even close to having a baby - I am not particularly young (28) so I'm not sure how thats happened, but anyway thats the way it is... I will meet other mums soon I am sure, till then I always have you lovely ladies to bounce ideas off which is great! ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 07 August 2006 at 8:19pm
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There was a thing on channel one news about kids going to daycare. i missed it as me and Andrew were in the shower. Did anyone else see it?? ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 07 August 2006 at 9:57pm
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I saw it and was really disgusted.
"Chidren in daycare? Are you kids "missing OUt"...as if working mums don't feel guilty enough without some crap about how kids who go to daycare miss out on mum and dad attention. the report itself wasn't too bad, but the questin is just so leadning and annoying. |
Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 08 August 2006 at 9:05am
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Yeah I thought the same Lizzle - it was very geared towards the assumption that daycare is damaging and that it must be proved otherwise...
They had this lady who had done a study and was going on about the "överwhelming evidence pointing to the fact that in order for daycare to NOT be damaging the standard of care must be of a high quality" - ummm duh! Did we need a study to tell us this? ANY CARE, whether given by parent or carer needs to be high quality doesnt it, or else it will be damaging? Sometimes I just have no respect for parts of the media - they really to whip up a frenzy for nothing... And I think you are right about mums feeling guilty ebough as it is Lizzle - it's rediculous! ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 08 August 2006 at 9:29am
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I think we should all text NO to 2121....
I didnt see the report but was wondering what that text ad was talking about!! Hmmmm.... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Popsicle
Date Posted: 08 August 2006 at 9:42am
| Sorry - probably come in a bit late here but I came back to work when my girl was 6 months old (she is now 2 years old) and I have to say it was both choice AND necessity. I have absolutely no regrets because I look at how my daughter has blossomed, how she gets excited about seeing her friends at daycare, looking at her pictures on the wall, the birthday/mothers day/fathers day cards etc all bring a lump to my throat. They have done stuff with her at daycare that I would never have done with her at home at such an early age. She talks well, eats well, socialises well and is very active! The time that we have together in the evenings and weekends is real quality time and we make sure of that. I think your child comes to an age where they need kindy/daycare etc. Take your time and go around and have a look at a few daycares and choose one that you are comfortable with and you feel that your baby will benefit from. At first I used to feel a bit guilty at not spending the first year at home, but now I take a look at my daugther and feel proud of the job that we have done and that includes starting daycare early. Don't let anyone judge you for the choices you make for the sake of your family. |
Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 08 August 2006 at 12:02pm
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Thanks for sharing you expereince popsicle - it's very reassuring that for you it was the right choice! ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com">
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