Getting a Break
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33554
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Topic: Getting a Break
Posted By: anon
Subject: Getting a Break
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 3:52pm
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I was really interested to know about how often you get a break from your kids to see some friends or pursue an interest or do something you enjoy?
I don't have a great deal of family support and my husband is often working, so it is rare. Has been once a month for a few hours at a time at the most. My goal is to have it once a week but it doesn't seem to happen. Just wondered what others do to get a break - how you organize it, whether you get one, and how you spend it? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: nuts_nats
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 4:12pm
It is pretty rare for me also! Maybe once a month at the moment. DP would be happy to watch DD for a couple hours but usually I am so knackered I would rather just have a lie down  I usually just end up taking DD with me wherever I go because it is easier since she is BF.
BUT I think it is really important to make time to do things for yourself, something I need to start doing! I have been thinking about joining my friend's gym (West Wave) just so I have an excuse and a destination to get out of the house for a few hours! Even if I am too tired to do a big work out I can see my friend, or have a swim or hot tub! Or maybe a yoga class or something, I could probably handle that 
I think they have a creche too! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 4:13pm
| Daycare is a god send for me. but we didn't start that til well after 2. I simply left Daniel with DH sometimes. I figured it was his son too therefore he should cope fine and he did. Daniel often goes off to both sets of grandparents. |
Posted By: Nutella
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 4:19pm
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Hmm, I don't have a lot of time on my own as we live in QLD and I have no family here and no real friends since we only moved here last year (and I suck at making friends, never mind it is a small town).
But I do go to scrap booking class once a week and leave DS with DH, he is usually already asleep so easy for DH. If I am feeling like I really need a break I will tell DH to take DS for a while and just rest or whatever. I have to admit I am pretty happy pottering around at home so I can do my crafts when I get a spare moment...and to be honest this town really is that small that there is not exactly a lot I want to go kicking up my heels on my own. I guess it depends on your interests? If a gym then they sometimes have creches...do you belong to a mothers group or playgroup coz you might be able to start a baby sitting thing ie maybe once a month you don't go and baby goes with the other person and vice versa...gives you a couple of hours on your own?? ------------- 
 Oct 11
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 5:13pm
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last year i was going out maybe three times a week in the evening after hubby came home, just to the gym or the pool for an hour, or maybe with the girls for a hot choc night...
sometimes you dont have to go out to have break, have some good girlie friends over after bub is asleep and eat chocs and gossip and stuff. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Flutterby
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 5:30pm
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I have an on call housekeeping job which normally works out to approx 5 mornings a week, so that is my break from DS. Though sometimes DP might take Ds out for a couple of hours in the weekend if I want to have a nap.
I actually like to take DS out with me so hardly ever leave him at home. Though when I go visit mum in Auckland she may look after him if I want to go see a movie. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 7:23pm
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Im at uni 12 hours a week which i love heaps although that isnt at all helpful for what your asking. lol. between me and DH the house is clean and baby in bed by 7. he eats with us so we've had tea too so i can just bugger off to my sisters, friends, gym, running etc... and come home when i want. we dont have family on the scene that can help out either so one of us has to be home.
there isnt any organisation as such. DH will ring me if he wants to stay late at work or give me warning if he has something on at night or is going away for a weekend so he can double check im not out or we have plans already but he is very rarely out so its normally a case of "hey im going to my sisters for a coffee, love you bye" lmao and off i trot. once ive had this baby ill be going running at night and probably something like circus school one night a week just to get some personal space that isnt child or carreer related. if its a weekend and one of wants to go out its just a case of saying hey babes can i go to blah blah for a few hours and either of us might take of to do something ------------- 
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Posted By: Shelt
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 9:00pm
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I was going to say almost never but then I realised that isn't entirely true. I'm a single parent so time is limited but at the moment G and I are living with my parents so I have been getting up at 5am to go for a run. So I guess thats my bit of time to myself. Its nice not to have to take the stroller and I get some peace and quiet. Although 5am is really early I have to get up then because I have to be back so my parents can go for a walk together before they go to work, plus G and I leave the house for work/daycare at 7.20am anyway. I don't count work as "me" time coz its not free time to do what I want to do. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 9:05pm
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I go to the Gym, and Jackson is booked in for 4x 2 hour sessions at the creche there, that's my time. He loves it too!
Other than that I don't really go out too often.. I have a wine with a friend on Friday, usually she will come here after the kids are in bed or I'll go to her place. ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: hannibal
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 9:17pm
| I wasn't getting much at all. Hubby is self employed and works 7 days a week and we have no family/friends where we are. Only in the past few weeks I have stared to claim 'mummy only time' I now am walking again to work in the mornings, hubby picks up bubs and then me. So I get 20 minutes 5 days a week and on the weekends I go for about an hour for a massage. Bubs is 19 months old so its taken all that time. I don't count going to work for 40 hours out time either as I am accountable to someone else for that time. I'm lucky though as the house work is mainly shared and DH is great at getting her fed in the mornings so I can shower ... 5 minutes in the shower is bliss without interuption, can't really complain about anything except maybe more family time! |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 9:26pm
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hmmm I dont really...
Except for the odd time I go into town in the evening for ice cream or something with a friend and leave the kids with DHthey are usually asleep at this time though). I sometimes go out with just DD and leave DS with DH, as DD is easier to handle when out at this stage lol I know I do need more time to myself though, so after DS turns 2 which is next month(omg) I am going to think about putting him in daycare for a few days a week and then eventually DD aswell. ------------- |
Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 9:33pm
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I dont really get much time to myself. I might go see a friend on my own every fortnight perhaps for an hour. If that.
Most the time i dont mind, i prefer laxing at home once dd is in bed. -------------  
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Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 10:41pm
| One week out of every 5-6, Sam is with his dad and grandparents so I get a break from him, but I'm with Jamie 24/7. Up until recently he was fully breastfed and didn't sleep well so not much chance of me going anywhere really. But now that he takes a bottle at night and sleeps better, I get a break in the evening, and although I'm still at home, I can just muck around on the computer or have a bath and just relax. |
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 10:49pm
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I am very lucky, we have live in help so a few times a week I go out on my own while Callum is sleeping during the day. If I have something special I want to do (eg later in the year I'm going to do a photography course) Callum will spend a morning or an afternoon playing with M while I go do it.
Before M started it was just DH and I. We have no family over here and having "help" is fairly standard so it was hard asking friends to babysit as they never needed us to reciprocate IYGWIM. I think we had one night out when a (childfree!) friend babysat and DH and I went to the movies and other than that DH and I had to take turns. Usually he would go out Fridays after work with the boys and play tennis on Saturdays and I would play football on Tuesdays. Even now we have someone to help out I still prefer to take C with me if it's not his nap time. We have fun and he's used to being out and about so *usually* isn't too much trouble ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: palomino
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 11:25pm
| Iv had one whole day off to myself and a few couple of hours breaks probably once a month. |
Posted By: myonlineself
Date Posted: 21 May 2010 at 11:27pm
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I play hockey on Sundays and have a practice mid-week, thats my time and I love it. I just have to try time feeds so I feed bubs just before I go..... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 22 May 2010 at 6:46pm
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maybe I'm weird but i needed a break..E has bene going to care since he was one for 8 hours a week an dhas loved it after he settled in.. and DH is happy to look after Ethan whenever..and once Liam is FF it will be easier but in the last few weeks i feel like i can go out after he is fed though he settles better for me often.. but once they are bigger i will be able to go out when i want really...i am lucky that Dh doesnt work weekends or nights so we can have breaks when we need too.. as for a hobby i do need one.. even DH says that so looking to find one that is a couple of nights a week or one maybe..
and when Liam is one he will prob be going to care for a few hours too..i find it important for both of us... often its just to go to supermarket or something though cause we live far away from our friends:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: monkey33
Date Posted: 22 May 2010 at 9:51pm
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I go out every Saturday afternoon for 2 or so hours and DH looks after DS. It is set in stone that I go on Sat and it means I don't have to ask DH if he is free and I am free to make plans.
I also go out once a week or fortnight to visit friends for a wine or coffee when DS is asleep (after 7pm). Personally I have found it extremely important for me to have this time to myself and for DH to have some alone time with DS without me interfering. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: LouD
Date Posted: 22 May 2010 at 10:27pm
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I was so good in the beginning. but hav really slacked off recently for a number of reasons, but mostly cos im too lazy to express and wont give him formula.
I was going out with my friend to either the movies or just to the shop etc. But obviously only when DH was home cos I too dont have any family support up this way, the closest is 1hours drive away so that never happens |
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 22 May 2010 at 10:38pm
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I dont get much of a break, if at all really. We dont have any family close by where we are and the friends we have dont have any children. Although I do catch up with friends every second (or so) weekend for a few hours and DH is happy to look after Jackson.
If I had somewhere to go or something to do DH is also happy to look after Jackson as well. I dont mind it too much, but I do find that the times when I do need a break are the times Jackson needs me the most which makes it hard, especially when we dont have family close by. ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: IzzysMum
Date Posted: 23 May 2010 at 2:52am
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I don't really ever get a break. I am a single parent. We live with my mother who works shift-work, 90 hours per fortnight, so she's always either out or in the house sleeping. My brother and sister both live in Auckland but far enough away that they can't help out too often, but anyway they both work full-time and brother is away a lot for work anyway. I don't really have any friends who can look after my daughter as I moved right before she was born, so I don't know too many people around here.
My mother took Izzy to the supermarket this morning - it was the first time they had been out without me. Izzy apparently had a great time and didn't notice that I wasn't there. They were only gone half an hour, so just long enough to have a shower and that was it! But half an hour is long enough when it was her first time and she's only eight months old. Hopefully, now it's been done once successfully, my mother will be happy to do it again (although as I said before, she doesn't have a lot of free time). |
Posted By: floss
Date Posted: 23 May 2010 at 1:56pm
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Im really lucky, hubby looks after the kids one night a week so that I can go and have a few drinks and a chill out with one of my guy mates, altho the kids are in bed when I go.
Other then that the kids go to daycare on a friday and I have the day to myself which is normally studying or I get called in to relief teac. But I feel really lucky as a lot of friends hubbys/partners won't look after there kids while the wife goes out. ------------- My beautiful big girl Sienna 15.04.06 Double the trouble double the fun Noah & Lola 10/11/07 |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 23 May 2010 at 3:01pm
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Isla's been in daycare starting with just a few hrs a week since she was 1yr 3mths old. When she was just over 2 I went back to work 2 days a week, and increased her daycare hrs, so she was in one of the 2 days I was at work, and also on a wed and fri morning for 3 1/2hrs. Wed mornings were my time off so would go to town or whatever I wanted, then fri am would be cleaning etc at home.
We now have good family support here, so I have done lots of little tripe without the kids, like to the shops etc, mostly bewteen Aidens feeds cos its such an effort to express. Started Zumba last week, so will be doing that 1hr a weeks while Mum has him. As I get fitter wuld like to also do an evening class one night a week too. |
Posted By: Raspberryjam
Date Posted: 23 May 2010 at 6:47pm
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I had yesterday morning off , which is the first break I can remember forever - no family and friends with out kids or too far away
Milla starts Kindy on wednesday, so until the baby arrives I will get 3 hours on a wednesday and friday I cant wait!!! Sometimes in the weekend when Milla is asleep I sneak off to the supermarket by myself - and Ioooove it ------------- http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
http://lilypie.com] 
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 23 May 2010 at 10:01pm
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If DH is in the city, then I get 1 night a week where I can go and do something, but usually we arrange for people to come around so we can both socialise.
If he's away (6 months of the year), I arrange for the girls to come round once a fortnight for dessert and movies, and my parents have the kids every once in a while (usually every 2-4 weeks, depending on how long DH is away for). When DH goes away for 4 months at the end of June, I'm arranging for my parents or MIL to have the kids every fortnight (so once a month between them). I do class work as me-time though, because it's a different environment and I love my job/s
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Posted By: LouD
Date Posted: 23 May 2010 at 10:21pm
That s##t gets my blood boiling........i find it real hard not to give them a peice of my mind cos its just so wrong and selfish!!! but then i wouldnt even entertain the thought of being with someone that shallow |
floss wrote:Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 9:38am
| I get out at least twice a week for my training sessions. Although MIL comes over on the Tuesday night and on The Sat mornings they come with me but are looked after by my step dad who they love. My DF isn't too selfish to have them but he is working 70+ hours a week at the moment and isn't home. |
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 11:42pm
Seriously??! Am I just really naive? Are there guys out there who WON'T look after their own kids??? (as in it's their choice, rather than the mum just not wanting to go out on her own for whatever reason).   ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 11:43pm
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PS I'm not taking the pi$$ ... there is just no way I'd ever let DH get away with that and don't know anyone personally who would either. ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: myonlineself
Date Posted: 25 May 2010 at 10:53am
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My DH is great, he encourages me to go out, he likes the opportunity to do stuff with bubs by himself, and figure things out without me telling him what to do. She doesn't take a bottle, so it is between feeds, but it seems to work fine. The other day he referred to him being on babysitting,... I pointed out that its not called that when its your own lol ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: shadowfeet
Date Posted: 25 May 2010 at 11:32am
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I have 2 afternoons a week (2 hours each) so I can go to uni. We are contemplating 1 morning and 1 overnight a week at my parents beginning in July. Not sure if that'll happen, though my Mum would love it. ------------- 
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