Work question again
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33618
Printed Date: 21 August 2025 at 6:47pm
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Topic: Work question again
Posted By: _H_
Subject: Work question again
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 4:00pm
I received an IM today from another staff member bitching about me (she didn’t mean the send it to me) I have had problems with her before- had to have a meeting as she felt I didn’t like her so I don’t feel I can go to her. I have been feeling really down lately (about other things) and thought that we were passed all the bitching. it has honestly upset me more then i thought it would 
So my question is what would you do- would you go to the boss about it, ignore it or any other ideas you can think of ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 4:30pm
Personally, I'd be the bigger person and ignore it. But i'm pretty thick skinned (I know I'm awesome, I don't care if she's too dumb to see it  ).
Hugs though, it's not fun to be picked on. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 4:32pm
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I would leave it as well, but thats just cos I'm too scared of conflict. Although I think you've spoken to your boss about it before haven't you? Perhaps it would be wise to print it out to show her/him or at least mention it -------------  
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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 4:37pm
Hi H, I am in the ignore camp too. Unfortunately you get some women who will bitch about people behind their backs like it's a sport. I used to work with a woman who would bitch about everybody so I can only assume she was doing the same about me. Remember these people have low self esteem and try to rise above it. I know it's hard 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 4:47pm
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Difficult to say - I tried the ignoring option and it caused more harm than good cause someone else reported said person to my boss - who turned around and gave me an earful for putting up with it. Either way I was in tears which didn't really help.
Sorry not much help - one of those things that happens in the work place - so glad I don't work with women any more - men don't bother with this kinda sh*te. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 4:49pm
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I would send the email back to her & say "I take it this wasn't for me" that should make her embarrassed.
I would not take it any further. Everyone moans about someone at work its a pity you saw it & thats shes a cow. Don't let it get to you after all she is just someone at work & not someone who is important to you. |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 4:51pm
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How bad was the content of the IM? If it was really bad, I'd be taking it to someone higher up...
Or reply and simply ask her if she meant to send it to you.. then leave it at that... don't reply back if she replies... Or delete and ignore.. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: nannyabbey
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 4:56pm
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I like Jazzy's idea about sending it back!
And you could always communicate it with your boss in a relaxed way.....'just thought i'd keep you in the loop, such in such sent me a message saying blah blah and this is what i've decided to do with it.' Then they would know whats going on aswell as seeing you are confident with how to handle it?? Don't you just want to throw a tantrum every now and again!?!?!?! grrr |
Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 5:07pm
| TBH, having managed a team of people I wouldn't appreciate someone bringing this sort of thing to my attention unless it was affecting work getting done. So if it is really upsetting you and stopping you from working as you should then your manager has a right to know but my advice would be to concentrate on the way it is affecting your work, otherwise it could be viewed as a petty squabble that your manager may not want to know about. I guess it really depends on your relationship with your manager as well as to how they would deal with it. |
Posted By: RedHeadDuck
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 5:12pm
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I'd print a copy of it off, go up to the person who sent it to you, and say "THIS is disgusting behaviour, at least make sure you b!tch about me to the right person next time! We've tried dealing with this, if you have problems with me, you should go through the right channels about dealing with it, this is unnecessary and is workplace bullying- if it happens again I'll be taking it higher up" and then walk out...
Just prepare a kick ar$e speech, and she'll probably be embarassed as hell about it! Make it obvious you won't put up with it, and that if it happens again you'll be making a complaint about it- as it can be classed as workplace bullying!! |
Posted By: _H_
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 5:27pm
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as i said before it really upset me as im feeling down about things so in some ways i think it makes me feel worse about it
i think i might just send the boss a quick IM (less formal then an email) asking her to say in our team meeting that gossiping about people makes for a negative environment, but not actually tell her what happened. ill be the bigger person and ignore the person, hopefully she will be embarrassed as i think she worked out she sent it to the wrong person. im not up for conflict at the moment and i honestly thought we were adults&past all this thanks for the support i know i count on everyone here ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 5:37pm
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I like the idea of sending it back - makes a point without making it a big deal of it. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: MyLilSquishy
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 5:59pm
| id print it, file it, then ignore. that way you are still ebing the bigger person and then if anything happens further down the track and she pulls the "she started it" card, you have proof. |
Posted By: littlestar
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 6:09pm
my thoughts exactly! but hugs to you - it can't be nice to be working there with all this crap going on. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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MyLilSquishy wrote:Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 24 May 2010 at 11:36pm
I third this suggestion and also the hugs. It's really sh*tty to overhear/read nasty things about yourself, especially when you know they weren't intended for you. I would probably send it right back with a comment like, "I think you sent this to the wrong person" as well. As for informing your manager or not, personally I'd probably want to deal with it myself depending on what she actually said (was it "just" gossip or something work related). If it's already gone as far as a meeting between the two of you then your manager perhaps should be in the loop. Put it this way - if you decided to leave the job because of this woman then it IS affecting your work. And if I was your boss I'd want to know about it before it got that far IYGWIM? ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |