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What do you call unrelated adults?

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Topic: What do you call unrelated adults?
Posted By: caliandjack
Subject: What do you call unrelated adults?
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 7:59am
When I was growing up I always referred to adults as Mr or Mrs Last Name.
Same with teachers etc.

People are more relaxed regarding titles so what do your kids call the adults in their lives who aren't relatives?

For those with divorced/re-married parents what do you children call the married partner?



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Angel June 2012



Replies:
Posted By: MyLilSquishy
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 8:12am
we have a few close friends that are "aunty and uncle"... and my brothers boyfriend will be uncle... anyone else will be Mr and/or Mrs. Last Name (or mr and mrs last name initial for good friends if they dont mind iygwim? ie. John Smith = mr S.)


Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 8:13am

My son isn't old enough to talk obviously. But, we referred to my Dad's partner by her first name (she is quite keen to be called Aunty ... though, but we'll see) and we refer to my Mum's husband as Grandad. My step-dad has been in my life since I was 4 and Dad's GF is a very recent thing.

 

On the Mr or Mrs thing I think it really depends on their age. For instance I'm 25 and most of my friends are that age too so it would be weird for us to refer to each other and have DS refer to them as Mr or Mrs ..., so we just call them Aunty ...

If however, they were older, say in their 30's or 40's+ we would probably have him refer to them as Mr or Mrs ... But, it does really depend on the relationship and how close you all are



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Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 8:17am
Both DH's and my best friends are referred to as "Aunty X" and Uncle X".

Adults are referred to by whatever DH and I call them. Usually their first name with the odd exception (a neighbour is Mrs X" for example).

My Mum remarried when I was 11 so I've grown up with him. I call him by his first name, but I asked him what he'd like our kids to call him. He didn't mind either way, so we decided he'd be "Grandad" to the kids, he was chuffed. But would've been just as happy if they called him by his name, too.

If in doubt, just ask the individual what they'd prefer, I reckon

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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 8:43am
I would hate to be called Mrs Nel, so does my MIL.. thats FIL mother LOL...

I dont think anyone of my friends would want to be called Mr/Mrs... Might be different in 10 years time though???

Close friends are Aunty/Uncle.

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Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 9:12am
My daughter has a stepmum and a stepdad (my DH )
her stepmum is Angela , her stepdad , is simply Dad or daddy (if she wants something ) ....if her bio dad is there then she calls my DH daddy Phil ...its not as confusing as it sounds .
Unless they are both there and she forgets and calls for dad , and they both look up

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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 9:39am

My Dad remarried a year ago, my nieces are 8 and 13 and they call her by her name. I'm not really comfortable with her being Nana or Grandma as she's not their grand mother.
My nieces call my SIL's friends Aunty and Uncle even though they aren't. 
I think I was in my teens when I started referred to adults by their first name. I don't call my Uncle any more just his name - I guess having a 37 year old niece prob makes him feel old.



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Angel June 2012


Posted By: Richie
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 10:59am
When I was growing up, I only referred to teachers and my friends parents as Mr or Mrs X..... my actual Aunties and Uncles were always just referred to as their first name, same as with my parents friends. I'd call them by whatever Mum and Dad called them... be it their first name or nickname (Dad was in the airforce so a lot of his friends has nicknames!)
It's funny tho cause whenever I'm talking to Isla about family (shes only 4 months old so probably doesn't understand...) I always refer to my siblings as Aunty or Uncle X so it's the opposite to how I was bought up. When she is older and talking, we will just get her to refer to our friends by first names. I think getting her to refer to them as 'aunty' or 'uncle' just confuses the real meaning of the terms IMHO

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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 11:04am
For us it entirely depended on what the person wanted. Some wanted to be called by Mr or Mrs, some just by their name.

Daniel refers to BIL and my brother by their first names not by uncle x as its what they have chosen


Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 11:27am
We have a few close friends who are called Aunty and Uncle to our boys - cos to us they're like family. Other friends though are just called by their first name. DH's parents are divorced, and each has a new partner. They just get called by their first name.

Some of the kids at church call one of the older kids church leaders Mrs Sue which I think is cute (her first name but with Mrs at the front).

I'd find it soooo weird if any friends kids called me Mrs.... but that's cos I get that as a teacher, it's a different kind of relationship iykwim.

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Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 1:21pm
Hmm, I don't like the whole Aunty/Uncle thing even for Aunties and Uncles so my kids just call friends etc by there first name or even their nickname if thats what they are commonly called.

However I refer to people is how my kids do.

I still think teachers should be Mr and Mrs.

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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 1:33pm
Growing up teachers and meeting friends parents for the first time were Mr and/or Mrs XYZ. Then the parents or adult friends chose if they wanted us to refer to them by first name or still Mr/Mrs XYZ iykwim!

Actual Aunties and Uncles are Aunty and Uncle. My mum/dad's cousins are also called Aunty/Uncle.

Neighbours are Mr/Mrs unless we are friendly enough for first name basis, my bestie gets called Aunty, but as Lily gets older that may change...

I call my mum by her first name and always have, but I would like dd to call me mum/mama.

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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 2:43pm

Stepparents in our families are called by their first name.

Close friends are Aunty/Uncle.

everybody else by their first name unless otherwise requested lol



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Posted By: phantom_1
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 2:56pm
This has been discussed in our house also.
My mum & my partner's dad both remarried this year and my dad also has a partner. So actual nana's & grandad's are going to be nana/grandad but partners are just going to be first name. Could be confusing until baby is old enough to get the connections lol.

Aunty's/uncle's/close friends are going to be aunty/uncle first name though just coz thats what we grew up with.


Posted By: anon
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 3:52pm
I think ask the person what they would like to be called. Often they're comfortable with their first name these days.

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Posted By: Lexidore
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 4:38pm
Dads Partner is GG, (she wanted to just be her first name because she thought Nana was too old and I wanted her to have something special because we are very very close.

and we have quite a few close friends that are aunty X and uncle x ... but both us and our friends would be happy for DD to drop aunty and uncle part if they want its just a form of endearment, my parents were always addressed by their first name they couldn't stand being called Mr and Mrs

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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 4:57pm
Oh yeah, because Lily's grandparents are rather young, (my parents are 51 and 58) Dps are 44 and 45)) My mum is grandma but doesn't mind being called Shazza (nick name) my dad hasn't specified. DPs dad is granddad and his mum is na na ana (coz it rhymes better than nana) but they're related so isn't really relevant...

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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 5:07pm
LOL Nicole, my mum was 40 when she became a granny and decided that Nanma would do... Granny was too old and she worried that Nanny people would that she was their carer rather than grandparent.

I still call my Aunts and Uncle, Aunty X etc... I just feel weird not doing it. All my cousins and siblings dropped it years ago though.

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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 5:20pm
Yeah I still call Aunts and Uncles just that, I feel kinda like I am disrespecting them by not doing it and they haven't told me otherwise.

Sort of a politeness thing in Polynesian culture is to call elders Aunt/Uncle regardless of related or not in that way iygwim.

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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 5:38pm
Originally posted by newlywed newlywed wrote:

I think ask the person what they would like to be called. Often they're comfortable with their first name these days.


That's the thing though, I'm not comfortable with my Dad's wife being called Nana or Grandma.

Her grandson calls my Dad, Poppa but then thats a decision her daughter is happy with.

She's only related cause she's married to my Dad. I'd prefer her to simply go by her first name as that's what my nieces call her and am happy with the same for my daughter.

If my mum was still alive she'd be Nana and I don't feel comfortable giving that title to anyone else.

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Posted By: High9
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 5:48pm
Perhaps explain it to her, I am sure she/they'll understand... ?

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Posted By: kiwikid
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 9:58pm
My brothers / SIL are Aunty first name / Uncle first name but I dont really like the concept of calling friends Aunty / Uncle - to me that's an endearment / sign of respect for family. I still cant bring myself to refer to SIL's fiance as Uncle (I'm not fully convinced they will get married I guess).

Older family friends / neighbours are Mr / Mrs Last Name, unless they come back and say they'd rather first names.

Good friends of our age we just use their first name.

The look on DS's face (20mths) when we try to explain that Rebecca is Reuben's (his best friend) Mummy was really cute, it was like he couldnt fathom there being more than one Mummy (me) in the whole world

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Posted By: anon
Date Posted: 30 June 2010 at 10:53pm
Originally posted by caliandjack caliandjack wrote:

Originally posted by newlywed newlywed wrote:

I think ask the person what they would like to be called. Often they're comfortable with their first name these days.


That's the thing though, I'm not comfortable with my Dad's wife being called Nana or Grandma.

Her grandson calls my Dad, Poppa but then thats a decision her daughter is happy with.

She's only related cause she's married to my Dad. I'd prefer her to simply go by her first name as that's what my nieces call her and am happy with the same for my daughter.

If my mum was still alive she'd be Nana and I don't feel comfortable giving that title to anyone else.


Sounds fair enough to me!

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