Hyper Parents & Coddled Kids
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=34603
Printed Date: 22 August 2025 at 1:09pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Hyper Parents & Coddled Kids
Posted By: emz
Subject: Hyper Parents & Coddled Kids
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 9:41pm
|
Watch this if you are like me and think we are becoming so over the top with all parenting issues, like making performances out of birthdays! This will be interesting.
Our 'poor' children are being brought up the old fashioned way, and hopefully won't end up like pampered little brats like some of these kids! *off high horse now* |
Replies:
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 9:46pm
|
Im half watching it now ! ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 10:46pm
|
Bugger I missed it!
As yesterdays Palmy meet up probably showed, I don't coddle my kids. I did have a wee heart attack while Cooper was in the play tunnels but he had his big sister with him. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 10:55pm
|
It was so interesting, so over the top! And then if you read the TM messageboards it's quite interesting what people see as normal!
The thing that really gets me is that people mistake 'expectations' with cultural capital. There's a difference between showing an interest in a child's schooling and working with the teacher to help them achieve, and placing such high expectations on a child that they eventually crack. A boy in my class couldn't even write 1/2 a page on himself a few weeks ago because he said he didn't do anything other than study and go to his various tutors, and that he was burnt out! No child should feel that way. |
Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 08 July 2010 at 11:21pm
|
That's not fair on kids at all. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com">
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 7:42am
| i missed it, sounds interesting |
Posted By: _SMS_
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 8:29am
|
Bugger i missed it. What channel was it on. Will it be on demand? -------------  
|
Posted By: Babe
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 9:04am
sounds interesting! lol Kel you still did better than me - I totally lost track of Jake a couple of times  -------------   
|
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 10:53am
|
It never ceases to amaze me at the surprise parents express when they find out their kid is average. Especially when the parents aren't exactly the sharpest tools either. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 1:51pm
|
I recorded it and have just watched it. It was basically about parents pushing their children. Enrolling them in the "top" kindergartens/schools, taking them along to all sorts of extracuricular activities (baby gymnastics, ballet etc etc). Not allowing them to free-play, intervening too frequently. They referred to "Helicopter Parenting", i.e. the parents who constantly hover over their children. It went on to extremes like microchipping children to know their whereabouts at all times.
Was a very interesting watch, I guess it is a lot more over the top being American, but I definately see aspects of it here. I was nodding along while watching it thinking of my MIL It was showed on TV3 so should be available online -------------  
|
Posted By: mumtooboys
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 3:14pm
Actually they were Canadian...they both like to make that distinction.  But yeah, way OTT and IMO not a way to set your child up for living IN the world by themselves. My take is that my job as a parent is to give them the tools to be able to go out in the world at 16, 18,whatever and them be able to fend for themselves........not depend on me to do everything for them, including enrol them at University and give them wake up calls while they are there so they don't miss their lectures.
We're not quite 'free range' parents either, but do tend to lean more in that direction. Was interesting what they said about the rough housing, I tend to break that up quite a bit, so I have told myself not to unless someone is hurt and even engaged in some rough housing WITH them this morning.  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
MamaT wrote:Posted By: NicNOC
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 3:25pm
|
I couldn't believe that woman paid $4000 for a 1st birthday! because she felt her daughter deserved it - I'm the kid was 1 shes not going to remember a thing! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 4:44pm
|
$4000 for a first birthday!!! I'm all for first birthday parties if Mum and Dad want them (like you say, the kidlet's not going to remember much), but I wouldn't spend $4000 on any kind of kids party! -------------   
|
Posted By: MamaT
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 4:45pm
-------------
|
Whoops!!!Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 4:58pm
|
My parents didn't spend that much money on my 21st. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: TheKelly
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 5:02pm
|
DH took the remote and changed the channel so I didn't watch all of it (I was more interested in my book anyway )
But what I did see was interesting , and good grief, $4000 on a frigging first birthday ? golly . Ha, a comment above , can't remember who's sorry , reminded me of a patient we had, he was 16 and would always come in with his mum , who was .....different ....and she would sit there and rub his leg etc, anyway , one day they are waiting for the dentist and im preparing the tray and she says to him "you need to eat your lunch at school ***** " and he says "its not my fault " and she says "I know, your school needs to make sure you are " I snorted and had to leave the room -------------
http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 5:07pm
|
Bahahaha Oh Kelly I have tears in my eyes, that's classic (and a bit tragic!)
$4k on a kids party?!?!?! Crikey. Parents can be fairly pushy and over the top here too, specially when it comes to schools and things. I hate it but console myself with the thought that we'll be home before C is school age - I hope!! ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 5:10pm
|
Kelly... oh dear! I would have had to leave the room too -------------
|
Posted By: Hopes
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 5:14pm
|
I've seen a few of the helicopter / pushy parents in my time too. I see a lot of 18-y-o or so kids starting Uni and leaving home for the first time. I'm actually pretty cool with calls from parents (seriously, when your 18 I know you're capable of picking up the phone, but it can be hard work, and I don't have anything against Mums who give the kid a hand). But there's a line between that and being down-right obsessive over your kids lives, and we so see some of that too -------------
|
Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 5:31pm
|
Wasn't it $4k on the CAKE alone?!?
I hope our society doesn't become like that. |
Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 5:59pm
Damn I missed it but will watch it on demand. It's very scary how parents monitor their children like that and scarier how much they spoil them too.  I was just talking about this kind of thing with my friend today actually....covering parties and goody bags and presents for kids on occasions other than Xmas and birthdays....hmmmmm  -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
|
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 6:33pm
|
I love how the mother at the start (the one throwing the $4000 party for her one year old) was saying that she felt that her daughter had "earned" the party by turning one..... What the hell is wrong with people?!?!
I have a family member that I am not close with that is very much a helicopter parent to a severe degree. It disturbs me a great deal to watch her with her over stressed kids. They have a great deal of money and they spoil the kids rotten as well. -------------  
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 09 July 2010 at 7:08pm
|
I laughed at that too Lisa - just making it through another year (or your first year) unless you have a lifethreatening condition, is not a great achievement.
and 4k for a 1st birthday party - sheesh! I'm very much in the 'bringing up children to be good citizens' camp, not keeping them so close to you they never learn anything. A friend of mine bought her first home with her DP a couple of years ago, she contributed nothing towards the deposit because she refused to give up what she needed to in order to save, and now their roof is leaking but they won't fix it because they have more important things to spend money on, like 2 metallica concerts each. Then there's the fact she didn't know how to use a washing machine, cook, clean, budget, tidy up after herself or even hold a paintbrush when they attempted painting their house. I couldn't believe how much of a needy person her parents had made her become (she was the only girl, so very precious apparently). |